What do you think about two real world partners who also want to be partners in game too?
I have recently split my group into two groups because my players were wanting to get different things out of the campaign.
Originally, I had 7 players in one group. Two of them were not enjoying the second campaign because it was much more "Planescape-esque" than they wanted as they wanted a more Faerun based hero story.
So I split my group (originally the split was 5 wanting to play my Planescape-esque game and 2 wanting to stay in Faerun.)
Then a 3rd player asked to join the second group be he liked playing with one of the other two players more - he also asked if his girlfriend could join.
His girlfriend has made a character that is basically the exact oposate to his and they want to be boyfriend girlfriend in game - just like real life.
Have any of you had this experience. Boyfriend/girlfriend in real life playing a boyfriend/girlfriend in game?
He is a Human life cleric and she is a Tiefling necromancer. I honestly can't see how the two characters are compatable but that's their problem not mine.
My main issue is that I've heard horror stories of the things like this.
Have any of you had direct experience with this kind of thing and how did it pan out?
---
Edit, I have corrected some odd typing and spelling errors
I am an online author and sci-fi lover who plays table too roleplaying games in his free time. See all my character concepts at: Character Bios – Jays Blog (jaytelford.me)
I'm married to one of my players. I play in a couple games with my wife. In one game she's constantly trying to flirt with me and get a relationship going in game. In another game she's trying to court one of my NPCS. Most of my players has a significant other who they bring to the game on occasion to sit in and watch, they have their significant other watch us on twitch and they join in chat. I have never had a problem with these folks and their significant others, even when they broke up. Much of it has to do with the tone you set for the table, and how the awkwardness is handled if/when it comes up.
That said, 3 of my players are roommates, they're at each other's sides all day long. This is where things get difficult, if they're having a problem it shows in game. The snipes, the cold shoulders, and things like that can really interfere with the game. My approach is to always have my players show up early, I try for at least 30 min before the game, so that I can get any of the problems aired before it affects the game. I am not one to suffer childish behavior, so I curb it asap, and if it's going to interfere with the game, I ask them to sit out or suck it up.
As an aside, two of my players are going through a break up right now. One of them is looking for a place to live while still under the same roof as their ex. When we played last night everyone was having a blast. After the game is when it got awkward...so I gave hugs and left. I did, however, make sure before we started the session that everyone was ok in the same room, this way it didn't make things awkward for the group. If there had been a problem with the idea, I'd have changed where we played, asked one (or both) to step out, or just called the night off. It's not worth my time, or theirs, to facilitate a bad situation.
I'd advise against allowing this unless romantic subplots are typical in your campaigns. If your group is okay with this sort of roleplaying generally, then this is less of an issue. But if not, this is going to be a huge distraction at the table.
Romance in game is often a great storytelling and roleplaying exercise. And two people who know each other in that way out of game may create a great story out of it, as they know how the other responds to romance and flirtation. But, I understand your reservations. The thing to do, as with all worries at the table, is have an open and honest discussion with all your players at the table, and make sure everyone is comfortable with what's going on here.
As for the characters themselves, that's for the players to work out, that's not on you to make a dynamic happen between them. The class and races don't matter really, as long as it's in character for players to act that way. To use one of the most famous DnD romances as an example, you wouldn't have thought a Rogue Thief would make a convincing romance with a nature loving Druid perhaps. Yet Vax and Keyleth tell one of the greatest love stories I've ever seen in fantasy.
At the end of the day, as long as it isn't bothering anyone, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just let them do what they're happy with, and it hopefully won't disrupt your game. If it starts getting overboard, then a quiet word and a gentle nudge never goes amiss. Let them run with it for now, and see what happens. You might find it provokes a really great story for them, and the party.
Of course, if they break up in real life....yeah, that's gonna be awkward. Luckily, you don't need to DM their life! :)
As many people have already said, communication is key. Talk with all of your players, check in and make sure everyone is ok with any kind of romance. And then check in again individually after another session or two, especially with the other players who are not the girlfriend/boyfriend. Chances are unless these two are over the top about hitting on each other it'll be fine.
Having a couple in a D&D game is no different then the relationship between any two people...it all depends on maturity.
I have my wife in one campaign, a couple in another, and three couples (in and out, by pair or individual) in a third.
I never really brought it up as I expect my players to behave respectfully and they have. The only thing I noticed is some of the guys being protective of the girls even if their characters don't really know each other. That's real life overflowing into the game, but it's fine because it doesn't have a huge impact.
Talk to your players if you feel the need. Every group is different.
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"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
Romantic Relations in game should have some care taken with them. You don't want to potentially incite jealousy or resentment outside of game. Those things can be interesting for in-character Roleplay, but you never want it to be real. My suggestion is that if you have a romantic relationship in-game then it should be between a player character and an NPC, or it should be between character where the players of those characters actually in a romantic relationship. It can be fine to have players that aren't in a romantic relationship have characters that are, but the players should be people that wouldn't ever be in a romantic relationship in real life to reduce potential problems. Otherwise, play it safe and keep romance out of the empowerment-fantasy murder-hobo story.
Are we talking mature players here? There is no harm in a real life couple having their characters couple, provided they have a mature and respectful approach in terms of the table as a whole. Party romances can make interesting scenarios arise, particularly where difficult choices are concerned. As long as it is blended with normal party dynamics and not turned into a “spotlight on us” situation, no harm, no foul.
As you may notice, the above applies to party relationships in general - it really doesn’t matter that the players are a couple IRL. The only issue I’ve encountered in my years of DMing, when it comes to player (not character) couples is the potential awkwardness should their relationship sour. However, you have no control over that, nor do I think you should worry about it.
Ultimately I don’t know what prompted your thread, so I don’t know where your concerns lie. Hopefully my post is helpful.
What do you think about two real world partners who also want to be partners in game too?
I have recently split my group into two groups because my players were wanting to get different things out of the campaign.
Originally, I had 7 players in one group. Two of them were not enjoying the second campaign because it was much more "Planescape-esque" than they wanted as they wanted a more Faerun based hero story.
So I split my group (originally the split was 5 wanting to play my Planescape-esque game and 2 wanting to stay in Faerun.)
Then a 3rd player asked to join the second group be he liked playing with one of the other two players more - he also asked if his girlfriend could join.
His girlfriend has made a character that is basically the exact oposate to his and they want to be boyfriend girlfriend in game - just like real life.
Have any of you had this experience. Boyfriend/girlfriend in real life playing a boyfriend/girlfriend in game?
He is a Human life cleric and she is a Tiefling necromancer. I honestly can't see how the two characters are compatable but that's their problem not mine.
My main issue is that I've heard horror stories of the things like this.
Have any of you had direct experience with this kind of thing and how did it pan out?
---
Edit, I have corrected some odd typing and spelling errors
Talk with them and make sure that they understand that things happen in-game and that it should not be taken too srsly. Take for example Crit Role. 4 of them are married. Laura/Vex tricked Travis/Grog with the DOMT, while yeah he was pissed and heated to the point where you could fry an egg or make tea on him but they of course love each other. From what I know sure it can happen, but just make sure that they understand that using their real love in-game shouldn't effect or change their real life meanings. Else, go for it I guess. if you're too scared then tell em that. But I like the idea of a life cleric & and a necromancy wizard being in love. It could lead to some interesting conversations I think.
Two of my players are in a relationship and they talked about the idea of forming one in game. I basically said that was fine as long as it was handled with a seriousness about it and didn't put out the other players. So yeah just make sure that they would be adults about it
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Fellow DMs,
What do you think about two real world partners who also want to be partners in game too?
I have recently split my group into two groups because my players were wanting to get different things out of the campaign.
Originally, I had 7 players in one group. Two of them were not enjoying the second campaign because it was much more "Planescape-esque" than they wanted as they wanted a more Faerun based hero story.
So I split my group (originally the split was 5 wanting to play my Planescape-esque game and 2 wanting to stay in Faerun.)
Then a 3rd player asked to join the second group be he liked playing with one of the other two players more - he also asked if his girlfriend could join.
His girlfriend has made a character that is basically the exact oposate to his and they want to be boyfriend girlfriend in game - just like real life.
Have any of you had this experience. Boyfriend/girlfriend in real life playing a boyfriend/girlfriend in game?
He is a Human life cleric and she is a Tiefling necromancer. I honestly can't see how the two characters are compatable but that's their problem not mine.
My main issue is that I've heard horror stories of the things like this.
Have any of you had direct experience with this kind of thing and how did it pan out?
---
Edit, I have corrected some odd typing and spelling errors
I am an online author and sci-fi lover who plays table too roleplaying games in his free time. See all my character concepts at: Character Bios – Jays Blog (jaytelford.me)
I mean, from my experience, it works just fine so long as the couple stay a couple in real life.
I'm married to one of my players. I play in a couple games with my wife. In one game she's constantly trying to flirt with me and get a relationship going in game. In another game she's trying to court one of my NPCS. Most of my players has a significant other who they bring to the game on occasion to sit in and watch, they have their significant other watch us on twitch and they join in chat. I have never had a problem with these folks and their significant others, even when they broke up. Much of it has to do with the tone you set for the table, and how the awkwardness is handled if/when it comes up.
That said, 3 of my players are roommates, they're at each other's sides all day long. This is where things get difficult, if they're having a problem it shows in game. The snipes, the cold shoulders, and things like that can really interfere with the game. My approach is to always have my players show up early, I try for at least 30 min before the game, so that I can get any of the problems aired before it affects the game. I am not one to suffer childish behavior, so I curb it asap, and if it's going to interfere with the game, I ask them to sit out or suck it up.
As an aside, two of my players are going through a break up right now. One of them is looking for a place to live while still under the same roof as their ex. When we played last night everyone was having a blast. After the game is when it got awkward...so I gave hugs and left. I did, however, make sure before we started the session that everyone was ok in the same room, this way it didn't make things awkward for the group. If there had been a problem with the idea, I'd have changed where we played, asked one (or both) to step out, or just called the night off. It's not worth my time, or theirs, to facilitate a bad situation.
I'd advise against allowing this unless romantic subplots are typical in your campaigns. If your group is okay with this sort of roleplaying generally, then this is less of an issue. But if not, this is going to be a huge distraction at the table.
Romance in game is often a great storytelling and roleplaying exercise. And two people who know each other in that way out of game may create a great story out of it, as they know how the other responds to romance and flirtation. But, I understand your reservations. The thing to do, as with all worries at the table, is have an open and honest discussion with all your players at the table, and make sure everyone is comfortable with what's going on here.
As for the characters themselves, that's for the players to work out, that's not on you to make a dynamic happen between them. The class and races don't matter really, as long as it's in character for players to act that way. To use one of the most famous DnD romances as an example, you wouldn't have thought a Rogue Thief would make a convincing romance with a nature loving Druid perhaps. Yet Vax and Keyleth tell one of the greatest love stories I've ever seen in fantasy.
At the end of the day, as long as it isn't bothering anyone, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just let them do what they're happy with, and it hopefully won't disrupt your game. If it starts getting overboard, then a quiet word and a gentle nudge never goes amiss. Let them run with it for now, and see what happens. You might find it provokes a really great story for them, and the party.
Of course, if they break up in real life....yeah, that's gonna be awkward. Luckily, you don't need to DM their life! :)
As many people have already said, communication is key. Talk with all of your players, check in and make sure everyone is ok with any kind of romance. And then check in again individually after another session or two, especially with the other players who are not the girlfriend/boyfriend. Chances are unless these two are over the top about hitting on each other it'll be fine.
Having a couple in a D&D game is no different then the relationship between any two people...it all depends on maturity.
Find me on Twitter: @OboeLauren
I have my wife in one campaign, a couple in another, and three couples (in and out, by pair or individual) in a third.
I never really brought it up as I expect my players to behave respectfully and they have. The only thing I noticed is some of the guys being protective of the girls even if their characters don't really know each other. That's real life overflowing into the game, but it's fine because it doesn't have a huge impact.
Talk to your players if you feel the need. Every group is different.
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
Romantic Relations in game should have some care taken with them. You don't want to potentially incite jealousy or resentment outside of game. Those things can be interesting for in-character Roleplay, but you never want it to be real. My suggestion is that if you have a romantic relationship in-game then it should be between a player character and an NPC, or it should be between character where the players of those characters actually in a romantic relationship. It can be fine to have players that aren't in a romantic relationship have characters that are, but the players should be people that wouldn't ever be in a romantic relationship in real life to reduce potential problems. Otherwise, play it safe and keep romance out of the empowerment-fantasy murder-hobo story.
Are we talking mature players here? There is no harm in a real life couple having their characters couple, provided they have a mature and respectful approach in terms of the table as a whole. Party romances can make interesting scenarios arise, particularly where difficult choices are concerned. As long as it is blended with normal party dynamics and not turned into a “spotlight on us” situation, no harm, no foul.
As you may notice, the above applies to party relationships in general - it really doesn’t matter that the players are a couple IRL. The only issue I’ve encountered in my years of DMing, when it comes to player (not character) couples is the potential awkwardness should their relationship sour. However, you have no control over that, nor do I think you should worry about it.
Ultimately I don’t know what prompted your thread, so I don’t know where your concerns lie. Hopefully my post is helpful.
Talk with them and make sure that they understand that things happen in-game and that it should not be taken too srsly. Take for example Crit Role. 4 of them are married. Laura/Vex tricked Travis/Grog with the DOMT, while yeah he was pissed and heated to the point where you could fry an egg or make tea on him but they of course love each other. From what I know sure it can happen, but just make sure that they understand that using their real love in-game shouldn't effect or change their real life meanings. Else, go for it I guess.
if you're too scared then tell em that. But I like the idea of a life cleric & and a necromancy wizard being in love. It could lead to some interesting conversations I think.
Two of my players are in a relationship and they talked about the idea of forming one in game. I basically said that was fine as long as it was handled with a seriousness about it and didn't put out the other players. So yeah just make sure that they would be adults about it