You begin to consume your neighbour. He's too weak to fight you off, managing only to begin a very sternly worded letter which is no more than 3 paragraphs long by the time he passes. You feel re-energised, and more - it's not just proteins and stringy connective tissue, it's something else. You have absorbed his powers.
You are now a ranger.
The other residents of this hole now cower from you, though whether that's fear or disgust is not immediately apparent.
That beats my Stealth roll of 22 - and so it is that you notice that even though you're picking your teeth with his left femur, the man you're eating still has 3 satay drenched un-gnawed legs left. An icy chill grips you like an inexperienced girlfriend with bad circulation. He's not the only one. Despite the gloom you notice that everyone has at least 3 legs. Sweet dribbling giblets, you're in a Leg Mimic nest. Luckily you noticed them before they noticed you noticing them. Or did you?
You are a Unitaur, a single hoof-legged coil of muscle and rage. Like a pneumatic drill - both in attitude and aspect - with a bulls head for handles. Their strength and fortitude is legendary - both your strength and constitution are increased by 2, but you lose 2 Dex due to having to hop everywhere. You're always on the back foot because it's the only one you've got. Conversely that means that you always put your best foot forward - you roll with advantage to resist fear effects. (Str mod) times per short rest you may bellow a loud moo and double your jumping distance.
You have no arms and cannot wield weapons but your horns can be used as a melee weapon that you are proficient in that does 1d8+str damage. Your tail is agile enough to perform the somatic components of a spell, but cannot hold an arcane focus or delve into a component pouch. You speak common and vegan.
I'm going to hold a number of fingers up behind my back. That number indicates which of the 4 legs you can see is your own. Remember, these are professional leg mimics, not those part-timers you've seen down the shopping center at lunchtime on a tuesday.
You tell me which leg you just attacked, 1,2,3,4 and I'll let you know if you just bagged yourself a Leg Mimic or tore a hole in yourself.
By the way, your wish did not come true. He still hasn't started up the PotA game and you're not free to leave this thread!
Sorry for the delay. While I was waiting for your reply I had to drive home, and I was stuck in first gear the whole way 'cause I foolishly used my Left Hand for the finger-number.
That's a Mimic! You impale it on your horns, with a sound like a leg getting impaled - as I said, these guys are pros, they don't break character. The horn goes clean through, tearing a chunk of flesh out as you withdraw.
"Leggy leggy leg!" it pleads as it's lifeblood leaks from the wound. It's weak, but it's not dead. It twitches and attempts to kick you in the testicles.
What's your armour class?
(Does leg 2 kick left (as DM is looking) or right to find testicles? 2 - this is important as Unitaurs don't have testicles but the Leg Mimics lack a hive mind mentality, and are so good at what they do that all 3 of your Leg Mimics think the other 2 are real legs. It's kind of sad, it's really hard for Leg Mimics to meet other Leg Mimics socially, get to know eachother, have a good time, maybe settle down. Poor buggers have it tough. And you just stabbed one for what??? Nothing! Who's the real monster???)