I am playing a shadow monk 3/hexblade 1 tortle who is a follower of the Raven Queen in my current campaign. I know that there isn't much out there (at least that I can find) about how followers of the Raven Queen should behave. I did have a discussion about this with my DM before the campaign started and I thought that everything was taking care of. However, now he is saying things that are making me think that my character is not following the queen the way he thinks he should. I am going to have another discussion with him but I wanted to gather some thoughts from others about how they believe a monk/hexblade of the Raven Queen should behave(strictly in regards to a pleasing his patron/deity).
I currently and acting on the following aspects:
-She is neither good nor evil, too much good is just as bad as too much evil, balance
-She is a deity of fate, not that the path is set for you but the choices that you will have to make are, Fate is the equalizer(mortals and immortals alike will face fate)
-Memories are of the most precious things one can obtain
-She hates the undead because of the rivalry with Orcus
What do you think of these tenets? How do you think a follower of the Raven Queen should behave? Please give me any thoughts of advice.
Given much thought to this as I have been looking into playing a Shadar-Kai. As such I wanted to get into proper mindset of what impact being trapped in the Shadow Fell would have on a society and culture; the omnipresent reality of entropic forces.
To that end I reference the following quote as a filter through which the Shadar-Kai interact with the planes:
Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the overcompensations for misery. And, of course, stability isn't nearly so spectacular as instability. And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt. Happiness is never grand.
I feel they are essentially emotion vampires - seeking and hungering for the manic flood of emotions on the precipice of despair/disaster. They want to capture and hold onto the moment where one leans too far back on the back legs of their chair and catch themselves right before they fall back.
That said, I think being an outsider following her has less to do with following any precepts and /or tenets.
Neutral? Yes, in as much that she hungers for that moment between life and death, but she and hers want to experience that moment perhaps even orchestrate circumstances to intensify it - make it more memorable.
I am not sure she is a Deity, unless she is in your campaign. Regardless she and hers are collectors of Fate, absolutely. Memories are her lifeblood, however the intensity of the cruelty of Fate is what quickens her.
Undead are the spent husks of both memory and fate - useless to her, and a grating reminder of what is left once the chair finally falls over.
So there are some good videos out there from Mike Mearls and Jeremy Crawford that talk about the Raven Queen. There is a good article from Dungeon Magazine that can be found online as well. There is also a good video by AJ Pickett that could help. So a lot of the Raven Queens aspects within the videos and printed material are wrap up in the mystery and shroud of ravens as creatures in myth and folk lore. Specifically the commonality of a group of ravens being called a "conspiracy of ravens" or "an unkindness of ravens." To that end, The Raven Queen is up to something, a larger conspiracy of her own design and that she is not "good or merciful" nor does she overly care about her agents in going about her business. In each of the sources listed above she is aloof, and keeps her own council as to her plans. I would suggest looking into our cultural mythology of Ravens as well as, what we know scientifically about ravens. Ex. There is evidence that Ravens have the ability to communicate about displacement. And are known to call wolves to the carcass of the dead because wolves can open them up easier. Thus ravens are highly intelligent, and problem solvers. They will use others to solve a problem that they can not. Thus the rest of the post.
I would argue that she could have a Lawful Good Paladin going about doing her will. As there would be some deed or mission that she would determine that only that Paladin could accomplish because a paladin can rally around themselves other powerful agents. Ex. She puts this Paladin on a path to stop a Cult of Orcus. However, she could also have an agent of Chaos and Evil. This individual is perhaps working within a Cult of Lolth, because the cult has found some ancient artifact of the Elves that the Raven Queen does not want them to have. There is lore that points to her being a member of the elven race, and working to stop the war/splitting of the elves. So her intentions could be good, but she realized that morality will get in the way of her accomplishing her goals, so she abandoned morality to accomplish things in the most expedient ways. The two agents balance each other out.
My point being, is The Raven Queen is working toward her own ends. She would determine that your character can accomplish that better than anyone else. How you are doing it, is just what she needs and she would not overly interfere with you. As you are going to find some piece of Knowledge, or uncover some artifact, or stop some major undead who's soul she can then collect, and then at the end of your life, your soul and spirit will belong to her to use as she sees fit. As a GM, I would only offer corrections to your character actions, IF I thought you were not working toward whatever her goal is for your character. Incidentally, your character likely does not even know what that goal/quest is. So that you do not accidentally reveal it to one of her rivals or their agents. However, there would be signs that point you the way. The vague aspects of her goals will likely be a continuing frustration as you may not know, until your death, if you where able to accomplish what she needed from your character.
I am not sure I answered your question fully, as this is a longer conversation that needs to happen between yourself and your DM. But I feel this could give you a good start as to opening up that conversation and allowing your DM to not give you any clearly defining goals until he sees or knows better where the game you are all playing is going.
My PC, Ash, is a female Tiefling Warlock Hexblade, in a pact with the Raven Queen. Not really knowing the full history of the Raven Queen, this is how I interpreted Ash's connection to her.
She was an orphaned criminal (typical tragic childhood - she believes that she started the fire that killed her mother and little brother...) She spent her youth trying to to get money honestly, which was nearly impossible because of her demonic appearance, miserable self-loathing, and righteous indignation. Left alone, she spent her time practicing with weapons, stealing, and picking locks. As a last resort, in her 16th year, she resorted to taking a contract from a shady old man to kill someone who had wronged him. When she cornered her quarry, she was quaking with fear. She was about to turn and run, shattered by fear and rage at herself, when a soothing chill calmed her. Her focus cleared, her pulse slowed, and as her target tried to beg for his miserable life, she knew in her heart that he was guilty, and a terrible person. So she killed him.
And passed out. When she awoke, it was dark, misty and cold. Towers of rocks and skeletal trees faded in and out of her poor vision. A misty shadow started to form in front of her, and she was afraid anew. The man-shaped shadow spoke in her mind, in Infernal. He offered her his guidance, in return for her allegiance. To him, but moreso to her ultimate benefactor, the Raven Queen. He wanted her to kill on the Queen's behalf. Kill those that were truly maleficent. Each miserable soul she dispatched to the Shadowfell would give the Queen more power, and she might share that power with her fledgling recruit. With another sharp chill, she collapsed, asleep.
When she awoke again, there was a beautiful Katana - ShadowReaver - in front of her. It's blade was dull ashy gray, and the handle was wrapped with a black, leathery material. Several days had passed, and she was far from home. Whenever she felt a slight coolness in the handle of her Katana, she was given the confidence to kill with it, feeling in her soul that the target deserved to die. Rarely, the handle would get very warm, and in her discomfort, she would call it off. Even if she needed the gold.
So far, (only 3rd level) my GM has once told me that the handle of ShadowReaver grew cold, and when I charged into a battle, attacking a visible enemy, the handle grew warmer. I knew that I was not attacking the right enemy, so I dispatched that one, and went seeking a more worthy target, and finished it off.
Hope that's not too far off base - basically, Ash has no idea of the Queen's true motivations, is fairly reckless anyway, so she sort of lets the sword guide her whenever it chooses to.
Yeah. Sounds like the best choice. If you are still confused talk to your DM about it using those references. Show those references to your DM as well.
If it is still confusing... go buy a different sword. Use that one to do the mundane things that the Raven Queen is displeased with, and only use Shadow Reaver on those you know you are to send to your Queen. Also, it is very common, DM screw... you may very well "think" you have a pact with The Raven Queen, but in reality it is will a different agent. I would suggest trying to figure out what exactly you have a pact with. Good luck and have fun.
Looking into the enemy that the Queen wanted me to kill (a Nothic) I think that Ash will determine that the Queen wants her to destroy any being that is cheating death... so, when I attacked the Orcs, my sword grew slightly warmer, and I sought a new enemy, the Nothic. Killing the Nothic made ShadowReaver more powerful, so it's all good.
Of course... some in my party have only narrowly escaped death... so, they may soon become "interesting" to my Queen...