First I want to say sorry for the bad formatting, I only have access to my phone right now, so I can't use the formatting tools that are available on the desktop site, but I have tried my best to make this readable.
I am trying to write a story for my Tiefling bard(I know, how original.) and I am a little stuck. Here is the story that I have so far:
"My name is Talon, a humble Bard by trade, the middle child of eleven children. My mother, a Tiefling by the name of Alana, was a captain of a fishing ship for the city we had lived. She had me and my sister Lyyn and me one summer night on that very ship. Our father, a human by the name Arimas, was a soldier for the Lord of our city....the man and his fellow Nobles were nothing more than tyrants. Taking anything of value, and leaving everyone but themselves to suffer.....but then one day, THEY came."
"Adventurers from a far away land came and slowly but surely stoked the fires of revolution. Civilian and soldier alike stormed the keep, my eldest sibling Luke and my father included...my brother was spared the worst of the conflict, having returned with broken ribs and an arm. But our father was sadly counted as one of the casualties..."
"I don't blame the adventurers for what happened, if anything they had partially inspired me to become who I am today. But what truly set me off into this vast, wonderful, and cruel world happened just a few months ago. Lyyn, my twin sister and fellow bard, had seemingly disappeared in the middle of the night, the only clues being her shattered bedroom window and the smell of sulphur. And so, I packed my belongings, said my goodbyes, and left my homeland in search of my sister. Swearing to the gods both above and below that I would bring her home....and make the one who took her suffer...."
Not sure what you think you're lacking. As a DM, I think this is pretty much perfect. Your backstory is thorough enough that it gives a good basic idea of your character, but not so long and specific that it leaves no room for growth. You didn't mention the name of the city, nor did you detail exactly who the adventurers were, which should give your DM plenty to work with. On top of that, your motivation for adventuring seems pretty clear (and sets you up for some cool internal conflict). The only critique I can think of is that you didn't make clear what inspired you to become a bard.
Thank you so much! Well, the reason why he was inspired to be a bard (at least I would believe this would be the reason) is because of how bards are usually the ones to give people hope and inspiration, just like the adventurers had done for his people.
Hi guys, girls and beyonders
First I want to say sorry for the bad formatting, I only have access to my phone right now, so I can't use the formatting tools that are available on the desktop site, but I have tried my best to make this readable.
I am trying to write a story for my Tiefling bard(I know, how original.) and I am a little stuck. Here is the story that I have so far:
"My name is Talon, a humble Bard by trade, the middle child of eleven children. My mother, a Tiefling by the name of Alana, was a captain of a fishing ship for the city we had lived. She had me and my sister Lyyn and me one summer night on that very ship. Our father, a human by the name Arimas, was a soldier for the Lord of our city....the man and his fellow Nobles were nothing more than tyrants. Taking anything of value, and leaving everyone but themselves to suffer.....but then one day, THEY came."
"Adventurers from a far away land came and slowly but surely stoked the fires of revolution. Civilian and soldier alike stormed the keep, my eldest sibling Luke and my father included...my brother was spared the worst of the conflict, having returned with broken ribs and an arm. But our father was sadly counted as one of the casualties..."
"I don't blame the adventurers for what happened, if anything they had partially inspired me to become who I am today. But what truly set me off into this vast, wonderful, and cruel world happened just a few months ago. Lyyn, my twin sister and fellow bard, had seemingly disappeared in the middle of the night, the only clues being her shattered bedroom window and the smell of sulphur. And so, I packed my belongings, said my goodbyes, and left my homeland in search of my sister. Swearing to the gods both above and below that I would bring her home....and make the one who took her suffer...."
Not sure what you think you're lacking. As a DM, I think this is pretty much perfect. Your backstory is thorough enough that it gives a good basic idea of your character, but not so long and specific that it leaves no room for growth. You didn't mention the name of the city, nor did you detail exactly who the adventurers were, which should give your DM plenty to work with. On top of that, your motivation for adventuring seems pretty clear (and sets you up for some cool internal conflict). The only critique I can think of is that you didn't make clear what inspired you to become a bard.
Good luck!
-Sable
I pay only in 2 cent increments.
-Sable
Thank you so much! Well, the reason why he was inspired to be a bard (at least I would believe this would be the reason) is because of how bards are usually the ones to give people hope and inspiration, just like the adventurers had done for his people.
Sounds mostly okay setting-wise and relationship-wise. You might want to flesh out how your PC knows magic and how your character got into performing.