Hello! I’m a newer DM, and I wanted to design a few items for my PCs, and I wanted to get some critique, as this will be my first proper homebrew item. Any critique from someone who has experience with building items would be great, and I appreciate pretty much any help! Now, for the description:
A roughly carved wooden bird, and four (4) keys of varying colors (red,orange, yellow, and green), each key making the bird sing a different song depending on the key. The song sung will cause something different depending on the color of the key.
Red: Five (5) birds swoop down and attack a target each for 1d4 damage. Roll for an animal handling check (dc13), and on a success, you can tell the birds what to attack. On a failure, they will attack creatures at random.
Orange: A bird swoops down from the sky, and steals a weapon. On a successful animal handling check (dc13), the creature who turned the key and direct the bird to steal a certain weapon. On a failure, the bird takes a random weapon.
Yellow: A large bird swoops down, and picks up the creature that turned the key, moving them up to 15ft. The creature that was picked up must make an animal handling check. On a success, the creature picked up can tell the bird where to go. On a failure, the bird will move the creature somewhere random.
Green: A smallish bird swoops down, and drops a Greater Healing Potion. The creature that turned the key must make a dexterity saving throw (dc13), and if it’s a success, the creature will catch it. On a failure, the potion hits the ground and breaks, causing a splash that heals 1d4 damage in a 5ft radius.
Each key can be used only 3 times before it loses all magical properties, and cannot be used to summon the birds anymore.
Hello! I’m a newer DM, and I wanted to design a few items for my PCs, and I wanted to get some critique, as this will be my first proper homebrew item. Any critique from someone who has experience with building items would be great, and I appreciate pretty much any help! Now, for the description:
A roughly carved wooden bird, and four (4) keys of varying colors (red,orange, yellow, and green), each key making the bird sing a different song depending on the key. The song sung will cause something different depending on the color of the key.
Red: Five (5) birds swoop down and attack a target each for 1d4 damage. Roll for an animal handling check (dc13), and on a success, you can tell the birds what to attack. On a failure, they will attack creatures at random.
Orange: A bird swoops down from the sky, and steals a weapon. On a successful animal handling check (dc13), the creature who turned the key and direct the bird to steal a certain weapon. On a failure, the bird takes a random weapon.
Yellow: A large bird swoops down, and picks up the creature that turned the key, moving them up to 15ft. The creature that was picked up must make an animal handling check. On a success, the creature picked up can tell the bird where to go. On a failure, the bird will move the creature somewhere random.
Green: A smallish bird swoops down, and drops a Greater Healing Potion. The creature that turned the key must make a dexterity saving throw (dc13), and if it’s a success, the creature will catch it. On a failure, the potion hits the ground and breaks, causing a splash that heals 1d4 damage in a 5ft radius.
Each key can be used only 3 times before it loses all magical properties, and cannot be used to summon the birds anymore.
Also, I must add, the item is for a party of three and it will be given to them at a level from 4-9
That does sound pretty balanced to me, but you might want to raise the DC to 14 or 15 to make it slightly more difficult. It's a really cool concept, by the way.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
That does sound pretty balanced to me, but you might want to raise the DC to 14 or 15 to make it slightly more difficult. It's a really cool concept, by the way.
Thank you! Also, I agree, raising the dc probably would be good, especially considering the birds are wild animals.
It's good fun and allows the rare use of the Animal Handling ability check!
I would change the flock of red birds as follows:
Red: Five (5) birds swoop down and attack a target within 60 feet of you. Roll an Animal Handling check (DC13). On a success, you choose the target. On a failure, the birds attack a creature at random (the DM determines the target by an appropriate die roll). The flock of birds makes a single melee attack with +10 to hit bonus, inflicting 5d4 piercing damage on a success.
I would make this change to speed up the gameplay, so that you don't have to randomly assign five different attacks and then resolve them all separately. I also think that the birds should make an attack roll like everyone else!
Orange requires clarification. What happens when the bird tries to steal a +3 Holy Avenger Longsword? Where does it go? I'd tidy it like so:
Orange: A bird swoops down from the sky, and attempts to steal a weapon from a creature you can see within 60 feet. You must make a DC13 Animal Handling check, in which case you can direct the bird to steal a weapon from a particular creature. On a failure, the bird attempts to steal your weapon. If the targeted creature is holding the weapon, it must succeed on a DC15 Strength saving throw, or the orange bird disarms them and carries their weapon up to 45 feet, preferably to a tree, where it puts the weapon down. If there are no trees within 45 feet, the bird drops the weapon on the ground. If no creature within 60 feet has a weapon, nothing happens.
I changed it from randomising the target to 'it targets you' because it's faster for gameplay purposes and funnier.
Green: I'm not so sure about green. I think that something else could be more fun - all of the others seem to be about the birds being annoying pests, this one they suddenly seem like a video game drop delivery. Maybe the birds fly down into someone's eyes and blind them on a failed saving throw?
Generally I think it's a good idea to try to limit the number of dice rolls required for the use of a single magic item.
I do wonder whether this is an item I'd really choose to use from level 5 onwards. The damage maxes out at 20, but will average at 12. This is much less likely to be as good as taking the Attack action or casting a spell in most situations.
I have to say, I really like the creativity and inspiration behind this magic item. It feels unique and interesting and full of flavour.
It's good fun and allows the rare use of the Animal Handling ability check!
I would change the flock of red birds as follows:
Red: Five (5) birds swoop down and attack a target within 60 feet of you. Roll an Animal Handling check (DC13). On a success, you choose the target. On a failure, the birds attack a creature at random (the DM determines the target by an appropriate die roll). The flock of birds makes a single melee attack with +10 to hit bonus, inflicting 5d4 piercing damage on a success.
I would make this change to speed up the gameplay, so that you don't have to randomly assign five different attacks and then resolve them all separately. I also think that the birds should make an attack roll like everyone else!
Orange requires clarification. What happens when the bird tries to steal a +3 Holy Avenger Longsword? Where does it go? I'd tidy it like so:
Orange: A bird swoops down from the sky, and attempts to steal a weapon from a creature you can see within 60 feet. You must make a DC13 Animal Handling check, in which case you can direct the bird to steal a weapon from a particular creature. On a failure, the bird attempts to steal your weapon. If the targeted creature is holding the weapon, it must succeed on a DC15 Strength saving throw, or the orange bird disarms them and carries their weapon up to 45 feet, preferably to a tree, where it puts the weapon down. If there are no trees within 45 feet, the bird drops the weapon on the ground. If no creature within 60 feet has a weapon, nothing happens.
I changed it from randomising the target to 'it targets you' because it's faster for gameplay purposes and funnier.
Green: I'm not so sure about green. I think that something else could be more fun - all of the others seem to be about the birds being annoying pests, this one they suddenly seem like a video game drop delivery. Maybe the birds fly down into someone's eyes and blind them on a failed saving throw?
Generally I think it's a good idea to try to limit the number of dice rolls required for the use of a single magic item.
I do wonder whether this is an item I'd really choose to use from level 5 onwards. The damage maxes out at 20, but will average at 12. This is much less likely to be as good as taking the Attack action or casting a spell in most situations.
I have to say, I really like the creativity and inspiration behind this magic item. It feels unique and interesting and full of flavour.
This is great, thank you so much! I figured I needed a way for my PCs to get their items back with the orange bird, and you fixed that problem very cleanly. Also, with the green bird, I agree in the fact it feels more like a video game drop, and I like the idea of the birds being more pests (as they are just wild animals under magical influence). I do have one question though: is there a way I could adjust the birds attack and something like the type of healing potion to adjust to my players levels? I want the magic item to be useful for at least until level 6, because I want my players to be able to use it as long as it has charges.
Maybe the potion could be specific to heal you for (party char level) +3 HP when consumed and then the drop could be the die closest to party char level (rounded up to a max of a d10) HP in the radius.
Personally, I love the idea and may well steal it, with your permission. I agree it is a unique, interesting and potentially useful little item, that isn't a hum drum + whatevertypedamage thing. Kudos!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Talk to your Players.Talk to your DM. If more people used this advice, there would be 24.74% fewer threads on Tactics, Rules and DM discussions.
Feel free to use it! Once I tweak it properly, I’m going to make it in the homebrew tool thing that DNDBeyond has, so it will be able to use by pretty much anyone who uses this site (as long as those who use it don’t credit themselves).
A roughly carved wooden bird, and four (4) keys of varying colors (red, orange, yellow, and green), each key making the bird sing a different song depending on the key. The song sung will cause something different depending on the color of the key.
Red: Five (5) birds swoop down and attack a target each for 1d4 damage. Roll for an animal handling check (dc13), and on a success, you can tell the birds what to attack. On a failure, they will attack creatures at random. - The damage is ok, but it should never attack anyone else, and they should only attack once each. The skill check is fine, but if it fails, the birds should just fly away and vanish.
Orange: A bird swoops down from the sky, and steals a weapon. On a successful animal handling check (dc13), the creature who turned the key and direct the bird to steal a certain weapon. On a failure, the bird takes a random weapon. - Battle Master Fighters get a Disarm maneuver, this is too powerful to give to a minor magic item, and again, shouldn't target anyone else.
Yellow: A large bird swoops down, and picks up the creature that turned the key, moving them up to 15ft. The creature that was picked up must make an animal handling check. On a success, the creature picked up can tell the bird where to go. On a failure, the bird will move the creature somewhere random. - This fine.
Green: A smallish bird swoops down, and drops a Greater Healing Potion. The creature that turned the key must make a dexterity saving throw (dc13), and if it’s a success, the creature will catch it. On a failure, the potion hits the ground and breaks, causing a splash that heals 1d4 damage in a 5ft radius. - This is fine.
Each key can be used only 3 times before it loses all magical properties, and cannot be used to summon the birds anymore. - With the changes I have suggested, I'd allow it to recover all charges when the owner of the key takes a Long Rest.
Make the healing potion an egg that they need to catch. If they succeed by +5 they catch it without breaking it. If they succeed but not by +5 they catch it but it breaks. Healing benefit applies but egg all over themselves (i.e. Egg on their face). An unbroken caught egg will last 24 hours before it spoils and becomes (no good, a different potion, harmful, a stink bomb, another DM effect).
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
Hello! I’m a newer DM, and I wanted to design a few items for my PCs, and I wanted to get some critique, as this will be my first proper homebrew item. Any critique from someone who has experience with building items would be great, and I appreciate pretty much any help! Now, for the description:
A roughly carved wooden bird, and four (4) keys of varying colors (red,orange, yellow, and green), each key making the bird sing a different song depending on the key. The song sung will cause something different depending on the color of the key.
Red: Five (5) birds swoop down and attack a target each for 1d4 damage. Roll for an animal handling check (dc13), and on a success, you can tell the birds what to attack. On a failure, they will attack creatures at random.
Orange: A bird swoops down from the sky, and steals a weapon. On a successful animal handling check (dc13), the creature who turned the key and direct the bird to steal a certain weapon. On a failure, the bird takes a random weapon.
Yellow: A large bird swoops down, and picks up the creature that turned the key, moving them up to 15ft. The creature that was picked up must make an animal handling check. On a success, the creature picked up can tell the bird where to go. On a failure, the bird will move the creature somewhere random.
Green: A smallish bird swoops down, and drops a Greater Healing Potion. The creature that turned the key must make a dexterity saving throw (dc13), and if it’s a success, the creature will catch it. On a failure, the potion hits the ground and breaks, causing a splash that heals 1d4 damage in a 5ft radius.
Each key can be used only 3 times before it loses all magical properties, and cannot be used to summon the birds anymore.
Also, I must add, the item is for a party of three and it will be given to them at a level from 4-9
That does sound pretty balanced to me, but you might want to raise the DC to 14 or 15 to make it slightly more difficult. It's a really cool concept, by the way.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Thank you! Also, I agree, raising the dc probably would be good, especially considering the birds are wild animals.
I would also say you could make it so you have to pay the bird first, like insert a gold coin or smthn
It's good fun and allows the rare use of the Animal Handling ability check!
I would change the flock of red birds as follows:
Red: Five (5) birds swoop down and attack a target within 60 feet of you. Roll an Animal Handling check (DC13). On a success, you choose the target. On a failure, the birds attack a creature at random (the DM determines the target by an appropriate die roll). The flock of birds makes a single melee attack with +10 to hit bonus, inflicting 5d4 piercing damage on a success.
I would make this change to speed up the gameplay, so that you don't have to randomly assign five different attacks and then resolve them all separately. I also think that the birds should make an attack roll like everyone else!
Orange requires clarification. What happens when the bird tries to steal a +3 Holy Avenger Longsword? Where does it go? I'd tidy it like so:
Orange: A bird swoops down from the sky, and attempts to steal a weapon from a creature you can see within 60 feet. You must make a DC13 Animal Handling check, in which case you can direct the bird to steal a weapon from a particular creature. On a failure, the bird attempts to steal your weapon. If the targeted creature is holding the weapon, it must succeed on a DC15 Strength saving throw, or the orange bird disarms them and carries their weapon up to 45 feet, preferably to a tree, where it puts the weapon down. If there are no trees within 45 feet, the bird drops the weapon on the ground. If no creature within 60 feet has a weapon, nothing happens.
I changed it from randomising the target to 'it targets you' because it's faster for gameplay purposes and funnier.
Green: I'm not so sure about green. I think that something else could be more fun - all of the others seem to be about the birds being annoying pests, this one they suddenly seem like a video game drop delivery. Maybe the birds fly down into someone's eyes and blind them on a failed saving throw?
Generally I think it's a good idea to try to limit the number of dice rolls required for the use of a single magic item.
I do wonder whether this is an item I'd really choose to use from level 5 onwards. The damage maxes out at 20, but will average at 12. This is much less likely to be as good as taking the Attack action or casting a spell in most situations.
I have to say, I really like the creativity and inspiration behind this magic item. It feels unique and interesting and full of flavour.
This is great, thank you so much! I figured I needed a way for my PCs to get their items back with the orange bird, and you fixed that problem very cleanly. Also, with the green bird, I agree in the fact it feels more like a video game drop, and I like the idea of the birds being more pests (as they are just wild animals under magical influence). I do have one question though: is there a way I could adjust the birds attack and something like the type of healing potion to adjust to my players levels? I want the magic item to be useful for at least until level 6, because I want my players to be able to use it as long as it has charges.
Maybe the potion could be specific to heal you for (party char level) +3 HP when consumed and then the drop could be the die closest to party char level (rounded up to a max of a d10) HP in the radius.
Personally, I love the idea and may well steal it, with your permission. I agree it is a unique, interesting and potentially useful little item, that isn't a hum drum + whatevertypedamage thing. Kudos!
Talk to your Players. Talk to your DM. If more people used this advice, there would be 24.74% fewer threads on Tactics, Rules and DM discussions.
Feel free to use it! Once I tweak it properly, I’m going to make it in the homebrew tool thing that DNDBeyond has, so it will be able to use by pretty much anyone who uses this site (as long as those who use it don’t credit themselves).
A roughly carved wooden bird, and four (4) keys of varying colors (red, orange, yellow, and green), each key making the bird sing a different song depending on the key. The song sung will cause something different depending on the color of the key.
Red: Five (5) birds swoop down and attack a target each for 1d4 damage. Roll for an animal handling check (dc13), and on a success, you can tell the birds what to attack. On a failure, they will attack creatures at random. - The damage is ok, but it should never attack anyone else, and they should only attack once each. The skill check is fine, but if it fails, the birds should just fly away and vanish.
Orange: A bird swoops down from the sky, and steals a weapon. On a successful animal handling check (dc13), the creature who turned the key and direct the bird to steal a certain weapon. On a failure, the bird takes a random weapon. - Battle Master Fighters get a Disarm maneuver, this is too powerful to give to a minor magic item, and again, shouldn't target anyone else.
Yellow: A large bird swoops down, and picks up the creature that turned the key, moving them up to 15ft. The creature that was picked up must make an animal handling check. On a success, the creature picked up can tell the bird where to go. On a failure, the bird will move the creature somewhere random. - This fine.
Green: A smallish bird swoops down, and drops a Greater Healing Potion. The creature that turned the key must make a dexterity saving throw (dc13), and if it’s a success, the creature will catch it. On a failure, the potion hits the ground and breaks, causing a splash that heals 1d4 damage in a 5ft radius. - This is fine.
Each key can be used only 3 times before it loses all magical properties, and cannot be used to summon the birds anymore. - With the changes I have suggested, I'd allow it to recover all charges when the owner of the key takes a Long Rest.
<Insert clever signature here>
The first (and most likely final) version is up! Here’s the link: https://www.dndbeyond.com/magic-items/3751114-avian-assistance
Huge thanks to Sanavel for the recommendations (most of which have been implemented).
Make the healing potion an egg that they need to catch. If they succeed by +5 they catch it without breaking it. If they succeed but not by +5 they catch it but it breaks. Healing benefit applies but egg all over themselves (i.e. Egg on their face). An unbroken caught egg will last 24 hours before it spoils and becomes (no good, a different potion, harmful, a stink bomb, another DM effect).