I wrote up a spell for a PC and looking for feedback before it goes live. I'd rather have people pick it apart and have it right than put trash on the table. :)
Thanks in advance to those who take a minute to read/reply.
Heyy, the spell seems very powerful for its level. If you're happy having it in a 3rd slot, then that's ok. It's all beautifully written, you did a fantastic job. Only part I would amend is the sore being visible on the target for 1d4 days after, I think from only a third level spell, effecting someones appearance for days after is a little heavy. Some towns or settlements may not let them in because of it. Awesome spell though. I'm a druid and may ask my DM for it in the future :P
I don't actually think it's super powerful... It's sort of a weaker hold person that can target most things rather than just humanoids... So I think the power level is fair, if a little weak.
I do however think the spell is way to complicated for it's own good. I understand you want to the results to be interesting, but it's too much to read through every time, and the results of the d4 are much too similar, making it difficult to remember which is which..
I like the concept of the d4 representing the desperate need to scratch the itch.. So i think the core idea is really fun..
I would probably make it a level two and simplify the results of the d4 by a lot.
That's for the feedback and kind words. When I was writing it up and doing some comparison it felt similar to Bestow Curse in some ways. I'll take a look and see if I can think of a way to simplify without losing too much of the flavor. It might be as simple as restructuring the chart or having a list of impacts that shows the differences more easily (there is a fair bit of overlap).
I would suggest using some of the existing conditions for some of the effects instead of making everything a custom piece of text. I can see how you've taken inspiration from bestow curse.. However you'll notice that bestow curse has no overlapping effects between the options you can pick from, where as 3 of your 4 effects all give disadvantage on all ability checks and saving throws. ontop on several other effects.. and the 4th one shares an effect with the 2nd one.. It's all too much to keep track off.
I would also simply make it make a con save at the end or stat of every turn and have it roll for a new effect every failure, this makes it much easier to understand instead of leaving it up to the character whether or or not it wants to interact with the spell.
Here's my suggestion for a few effects.
1. The target falls prone and has a movement speed of 0 untill the end of it's next turn
2. The target has disadvantage on attacks and attacks against it has advantage untill the end of it's next turn
3. The taget has disadvantage on saving throws and ability checks untill the end of it's next turn.
4. The target spend it's action on attacking a random nearby creature within 5 feat, if none are available it wastes it's turn.
I think this is comparable to blindness/deafness, so the spell being level 2 would be fair.
1) It is automatically successful for one round. No Save, No attack.
2) 3 of the options grant disadvantage on all saving throws. Way too powerful of an ability. Even contagion only grants disadvantage to a single saving throw type.
3) Range: 30ft (Contagion is Touch)
4) Bestow Curse only grants one type of penalty, not all of them simultaneously.
1) I agree with the automatic success being an issue, with my suggestion an effect would only take place after a failed save.. I missed that being the issue with the initial spell
2) I don't think that is the best spell to compare it to, seeing how contagion serves a much different function that what this spell does? With the duration being 7 days vs 1 minute at all. I do think it's fair that disadvatage on all saving throws may be too strong of an effect, however.. It is a 1/4 chance which makes it weaker in my opinion.
3) Again, I think the spell is more similar to blindness/deafness or hold person/monster which both have a range beyond touch. But then again, bestow curse is the main inspiriation and it has touch.. so there's certain something to think about there.
4) This spell only adds one random effect at a time which you cannot control. Bestow curse adds one out of several choices which you control.. A random effect is much weaker than a hand picked effect imo.
Oh I know just thought I'd share my thoughts :).. I can see why me referencing my own suggestion would make you think otherwise.. should've been clearer
You cause the target to break out in itchy, oozing sores that are nearly impossible for the target to ignore. This spell has no effect on constructs, oozes, plants, and undead.
The target of the spell must succeed on a CON saving throw or be effected by the spell (roll a d4 and consult the chart below for effect).
At the end of each of its turns, the target may make another CON saving throw. On a success, the effect ends for the target. On a failure, a d4 is rolled and the table consulted for a replacement effect that will last until the start of the target’s next turn (an result may repeat).
Lingering Effect:When the spell ends, roll a d4 to see if there is a lingering effect. On a 1, the target is left with unsightly sores on its body that will heal over the next 1d4 days.
At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, you can target one additional creature for each slot level above 3rd. The creatures must be within 30 feet of each other when you target them.
d4
Effect
1
The target falls prone as it begins to itch uncontrollably, attempting to scratch its sores as best as it can with its weapon (or hands/feet if disarmed.) An affected creature may not choose to voluntarily drop items being held.
Apply the following:
The target falls prone and it's movement becomes zero
The target makes an attack roll against it's own AC, taking half damage on a success (as they were able to scratch more precisely) or full damage on a fail.
The target has disadvantage on all ability checks and saving throws
Attacks against the target have advantage
2
The target drops everything it is carrying and spends its entire turn scratching itself, paying no attention to its surroundings.
Apply the following:
The target immediately drops any items it is holding (including shields strapped to the body)
The target may not make attacks or take reactions
The target has disadvantage on all ability checks and saving throws
Attacks against the target have advantage
3
The target maintains enough control to hold all of it's items. The target focuses their efforts on defense, barely able to cobble together attacks.
Apply the following:
The target's speed is reduced by half
The target attacks with disadvantage
The target has disadvantage on ability checks
4
The target maintains focus on the task at hand but pays attention to little else.
So... the above is a potential update based on some of the feedback received. The more I read, the more I agree that it's not too far from hold person in many ways (though as pointed out the effect is much less in some cases)... just variable effect and different flavor (and no concentration requirement... accounted for in the spell level bump).
Tried to clean up the chart to make it easier to read/understand... didn't really want to drop to single effects. I think a lot of the RP potential gets lost if it's over simplified. Adjusted for the initial ability to avoid impact.
The structure is interesting, as the options 4-1 are progressively more dangerous. I think both (1) and (2) are still too powerful for a 3rd level spell, even with the random factor. However, a progressive reaction, rather than a random one could be worthwhile and would help balance it.
Basically, take Bestow Curse and every time the target fails a save, add another curse. If they make it to 3 failures, it would be get pretty extreme. It would act like an allergic reaction getting worse overtime.
Higher risk, higher reward. Starting by choosing Disadvantage on Con saves would make it more dangerous as they would be more likely to fail subsequent saves.
Hi all.
I wrote up a spell for a PC and looking for feedback before it goes live. I'd rather have people pick it apart and have it right than put trash on the table. :)
Thanks in advance to those who take a minute to read/reply.
Q
https://www.dndbeyond.com/spells/400705-poison-ivy-poison-oak
Heyy, the spell seems very powerful for its level. If you're happy having it in a 3rd slot, then that's ok. It's all beautifully written, you did a fantastic job. Only part I would amend is the sore being visible on the target for 1d4 days after, I think from only a third level spell, effecting someones appearance for days after is a little heavy. Some towns or settlements may not let them in because of it. Awesome spell though. I'm a druid and may ask my DM for it in the future :P
I don't actually think it's super powerful... It's sort of a weaker hold person that can target most things rather than just humanoids... So I think the power level is fair, if a little weak.
I do however think the spell is way to complicated for it's own good. I understand you want to the results to be interesting, but it's too much to read through every time, and the results of the d4 are much too similar, making it difficult to remember which is which..
I like the concept of the d4 representing the desperate need to scratch the itch.. So i think the core idea is really fun..
I would probably make it a level two and simplify the results of the d4 by a lot.
That's for the feedback and kind words. When I was writing it up and doing some comparison it felt similar to Bestow Curse in some ways. I'll take a look and see if I can think of a way to simplify without losing too much of the flavor. It might be as simple as restructuring the chart or having a list of impacts that shows the differences more easily (there is a fair bit of overlap).
I would suggest using some of the existing conditions for some of the effects instead of making everything a custom piece of text. I can see how you've taken inspiration from bestow curse.. However you'll notice that bestow curse has no overlapping effects between the options you can pick from, where as 3 of your 4 effects all give disadvantage on all ability checks and saving throws. ontop on several other effects.. and the 4th one shares an effect with the 2nd one.. It's all too much to keep track off.
I would also simply make it make a con save at the end or stat of every turn and have it roll for a new effect every failure, this makes it much easier to understand instead of leaving it up to the character whether or or not it wants to interact with the spell.
Here's my suggestion for a few effects.
1. The target falls prone and has a movement speed of 0 untill the end of it's next turn
2. The target has disadvantage on attacks and attacks against it has advantage untill the end of it's next turn
3. The taget has disadvantage on saving throws and ability checks untill the end of it's next turn.
4. The target spend it's action on attacking a random nearby creature within 5 feat, if none are available it wastes it's turn.
I think this is comparable to blindness/deafness, so the spell being level 2 would be fair.
This spell is way too powerful:
1) It is automatically successful for one round. No Save, No attack.
2) 3 of the options grant disadvantage on all saving throws. Way too powerful of an ability. Even contagion only grants disadvantage to a single saving throw type.
3) Range: 30ft (Contagion is Touch)
4) Bestow Curse only grants one type of penalty, not all of them simultaneously.
1) I agree with the automatic success being an issue, with my suggestion an effect would only take place after a failed save.. I missed that being the issue with the initial spell
2) I don't think that is the best spell to compare it to, seeing how contagion serves a much different function that what this spell does? With the duration being 7 days vs 1 minute at all. I do think it's fair that disadvatage on all saving throws may be too strong of an effect, however.. It is a 1/4 chance which makes it weaker in my opinion.
3) Again, I think the spell is more similar to blindness/deafness or hold person/monster which both have a range beyond touch. But then again, bestow curse is the main inspiriation and it has touch.. so there's certain something to think about there.
4) This spell only adds one random effect at a time which you cannot control. Bestow curse adds one out of several choices which you control.. A random effect is much weaker than a hand picked effect imo.
@MamasToast - I was responding to the OP, not your follow-up suggestion.
Oh I know just thought I'd share my thoughts :).. I can see why me referencing my own suggestion would make you think otherwise.. should've been clearer
You cause the target to break out in itchy, oozing sores that are nearly impossible for the target to ignore. This spell has no effect on constructs, oozes, plants, and undead.
The target of the spell must succeed on a CON saving throw or be effected by the spell (roll a d4![]()
and consult the chart below for effect).
![]()
is rolled and the table consulted for a replacement effect that will last until the start of the target’s next turn (an result may repeat).
![]()
to see if there is a lingering effect. On a 1, the target is left with unsightly sores on its body that will heal over the next 1d4![]()
days.
At the end of each of its turns, the target may make another CON saving throw. On a success, the effect ends for the target. On a failure, a d4
Lingering Effect: When the spell ends, roll a d4
At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, you can target one additional creature for each slot level above 3rd. The creatures must be within 30 feet of each other when you target them.
d4![]()
Effect
1
The target falls prone as it begins to itch uncontrollably, attempting to scratch its sores as best as it can with its weapon (or hands/feet if disarmed.) An affected creature may not choose to voluntarily drop items being held.
Apply the following:
2
The target drops everything it is carrying and spends its entire turn scratching itself, paying no attention to its surroundings.
Apply the following:
3
The target maintains enough control to hold all of it's items. The target focuses their efforts on defense, barely able to cobble together attacks.
Apply the following:
4
The target maintains focus on the task at hand but pays attention to little else.
Apply the following:
So... the above is a potential update based on some of the feedback received. The more I read, the more I agree that it's not too far from hold person in many ways (though as pointed out the effect is much less in some cases)... just variable effect and different flavor (and no concentration requirement... accounted for in the spell level bump).
Tried to clean up the chart to make it easier to read/understand... didn't really want to drop to single effects. I think a lot of the RP potential gets lost if it's over simplified.
Adjusted for the initial ability to avoid impact.
Thanks for the feedback so far.
The structure is interesting, as the options 4-1 are progressively more dangerous. I think both (1) and (2) are still too powerful for a 3rd level spell, even with the random factor. However, a progressive reaction, rather than a random one could be worthwhile and would help balance it.
Basically, take Bestow Curse and every time the target fails a save, add another curse. If they make it to 3 failures, it would be get pretty extreme. It would act like an allergic reaction getting worse overtime.
Higher risk, higher reward. Starting by choosing Disadvantage on Con saves would make it more dangerous as they would be more likely to fail subsequent saves.
Those are some nice ideas... I'll think through and build out a v3 to see what it could look like. Thanks. :)