Hello! One of my players wanted to play an archetypal speedster character, so I tried to create something that they would enjoy. I wanted to know, however, if there was any ways I could improve it, whether in terms of mechanics, phrasing, or flavor?
Monk: Warrior of Speed
Warriors of Speed push their bodies to their limits, moving at velocities others would think impossible. These monks, their abilities granted by some mysterious, external force, harness this ability to reach otherwise unachievable heights of speed and power.
Level 3: Heightened Agility
You have gained the ability to move and react at a rapid pace. You gain the following benefits: Improved Unarmored Movement. Your speed increases by 10 feet while you aren’t wearing armor or wielding a shield. Initiative Bonus. When you roll initiative, you can add your Wisdom modifier to the roll.
Level 3: Momentum Punch
You can use your agility to fuel your blows. When you take the Dash action on your turn, you can expend 1 Focus Point to deal an additional 1d4 Bludgeoning damage to each creature you hit with an unarmed strike or monk weapon until you stop moving. This damage increases at later levels, increasing to 1d6 at 5th Level, 1d8 at 11th Level, and 1d10 at 17th Level.
6th Level: Mobile Deflection
When you use your Deflect Attacks feature, you can add your Wisdom modifier to the roll. In addition, when you redirect an attack using Deflect Attacks, you can adjust the position of yourself and the attacking creature. As a part of this reaction, you can move up to half of your speed and, if the triggering attack is a melee attack, force the target to make a strength saving throw or be moved with you. Should you reduce the damage taken from the triggering attack to 0, you redirect the attack from your new position, as usual.
Level 11: Harness Velocity
You can utilize your agility to create a variety of effects. When you take the Dash action on your turn, instead of using your momentum punch feature, you can expend 1 Focus Point to gain one of the following benefits until you stop moving: Sonic Boom. You release a thunderous noise as you move. You create 5 foot emanation originating from you. Whenever the emanation enters a creature’s space, that creature must make a Constitution Saving Throw or take Thunder Damage equal to a roll of your martial arts die and be pushed 10 feet away from you. Frictional Inferno. Your footsteps release a trail behind you as you move. Any space which you occupy after utilizing this benefit is engulfed in flames until the end of your next turn. Creatures who enter that space must make a Dexterity Saving Throw or take fire damage equal to a roll of your martial arts die, taking half damage on a success. You needn’t expend a focus point to gain this feature’s benefits or those of Momentum Punch if you have already expended at least 1 this turn.
Level 17: Eternal Moment
Your speed is now great enough that you can live in a singular moment for an extended period of time. As a Magic Action, you can expend 10 Focus Points to cast Time Stop. During the turns granted by Time Stop, you can affect other creatures without ending the spell, though the spell does end as normal if another creature takes damage. Once you do this, you cannot do so again until you finish a Long Rest. In addition, you can keep moving, even when all should be still. If another creature casts Time Stop, you take a turn immediately following each of that creature’s turns granted by the Time Stop, and all rules that normally apply to you while the spell is in effect apply as though you cast the spell, though you can deal damage to the creature who cast the spell.
Level 3: Heightened Agility - Good this is a nice powerful but thematic ability
Level 3: Harness Velocity - This is WAY too powerful for 3rd level, this should be >10th level. Sonic Boom doesn't work as written since it stope when you stop moving and it's not possible for other ceatures to move into it while you are moving - perhaps you meant when the emanation enters the space of another creature?
6th Level: Mobile Deflection - This seems ok - bringing the attacking creature with you with no save for them is very powerful, and you need to improve the wording because the "attack" from Deflect Attack is optional and not really an "attack" perse.
Level 11: Enhance Alacrity - This is a bad feature - Haste isn't very good for a monk and it's really bad if you lose concentration, replace it with Harness Velocity
Level 17: Eternal Moment - This is a niche feature, Time Stop isn't actually very useful for a monk as it is generally used to cast defensive spells on yourself for a mage, what is the monk going to do during the stopped time? I guess they can drink a bunch of potions? The chances of encountering another creature that casts Time Stop is pretty slim, in 4 years of playing D&D I've only had it happen once.
Thank you for the feedback! I deeply appreciate it. Based on this, here are the changes that I at least feel make the most sense:
Harness Velocity gets moved to 11, as this was your biggest issue, and the wording issue on Sonic Boom will be fixed. Momentum punch specifically gets left at 3, however, to remain consistent with the other 2024 Monk subclasses in giving a new option for your Focus Points at that level. It would, however, get a damage decrease (probably scaling based on the old Martial Arts progression) and not get the Ki conservation feature until the full feature at level 10.
Mobile Deflection gets a strength save to move the creature.
Enhance Alacrity gets removed. This was the second biggest issue you pointed out, and melee characters concentrating on their own Haste only ending poorly is something I agree with wholeheartedly.
Eternal Moment gets changed to let you affect creatures while time is stopped so long as you don’t do any damage, which effectively lets you arrange the battlefield as you see fit and making it so you don’t have to take feats or magic items to be able to use this feature work at all.
Again, thank you so much for your feedback! Please let me know if there is anything else that I should change.
I think Heightened Agility is good, Initiative bonus is always desirable. Not sure if the Speed increase is necessary, but it's not unwelcome.
Momentum Punch I am unsure about- if you're taking the Dash action as an action, then your Bonus Action Unarmed Strike or Flurry of Blows gets the bonus to damage. Early levels it's better, but once you get Extra Attack, you're going to use the Dash action as a Bonus Action so you can get the bonus to your attacks made with the Attack action (since that does not cost Focus unlike Flurry of Blows). But then, you reach 10th level and get another attack with Flurry of Blows so again we're switching how we use it. Most importantly, it is better to make more attacks than it is to have less attacks that are stronger, as it gives you more opportunities to deal damage than not, but maybe there's something to be said about risk/reward. This definitely speaks to the idea, but I feel it can be made more consistent- maybe removing the Focus Point cost, having it add an additional Martial Arts Die to the damage, having it only being once per turn, I'm not sure. I feel like the Charger feat could also be a good chassis to base it off of, where you can add a bonus to the attack roll, potentially knock someone back, or add to the damage if you want to have some risk/reward.
Mobile Deflection adding Wisdom to the roll is neat, I like it. While I like the idea of a Strength save to move a target with you, that does kind of step on the toes of the Step of the Wind improvement at 10th level, so maybe move that to 11th level or replace it like how I did below. I do think the "move half your Speed" portion should be part of this Reaction regardless. Could read something like:
"When you use your Deflect Attacks feature, you gain the following benefits:
You can add your Wisdom modifier to the roll.
You can move up to half your Speed after choosing whether or not to redirect the attack.
If the triggering attack is a melee attack, you can move the triggering creature 5 feet to an unoccupied space if the target is no more than one size larger than you."
Harness Velocity is cool, and I particularly like Sonic Boom. That said, it could just deal a flat one roll of you Martial Arts Die Thunder damage to a creature the Emanation moves into, or whenever you move within 5 feet of another creature, similar to the Ashardalon's Stride spell (just make the creature take that damage no more than once per turn). For Frictional Inferno, it could also cause those spaces to become Difficult Terrain until the start of your next turn. Not sure I would keep the Dexterity save, maybe just have the creature take Fire damage equal to your Wisdom modifier for each of those spaces it moves on. I personally don't like having saves if they're occurring often and doing little damage, so just a flat small bit of damage that just occurs is what I prefer to lean into to speed up the game.
Eternal Moment is iconic for a speedster archetype. While I think this is absolutely a good direction the feature can go into, it could also be worth considering a "form change" of sorts. Like a once per rest ability that temporarily increases the number of attacks you can make, increases your speed, AC, the damage of some of your features, perhaps even a Concentration-less and lethargy-less form of Haste, the list goes on. Pushing yourself past your limits is always fun, and honestly I think this feature could go either way.
Overall, I think there's a lot of potential in a speedster Monk subclass, especially with the chassis of the Crusher, Charger, and Speedy feats in 2024. I feel you did quite well! I hope this feedback is helpful!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
Hello! One of my players wanted to play an archetypal speedster character, so I tried to create something that they would enjoy. I wanted to know, however, if there was any ways I could improve it, whether in terms of mechanics, phrasing, or flavor?
Monk: Warrior of Speed
Warriors of Speed push their bodies to their limits, moving at velocities others would think impossible. These monks, their abilities granted by some mysterious, external force, harness this ability to reach otherwise unachievable heights of speed and power.
Level 3: Heightened Agility
You have gained the ability to move and react at a rapid pace. You gain the following benefits:
Improved Unarmored Movement. Your speed increases by 10 feet while you aren’t wearing armor or wielding a shield.
Initiative Bonus. When you roll initiative, you can add your Wisdom modifier to the roll.
Level 3: Momentum Punch
You can use your agility to fuel your blows. When you take the Dash action on your turn, you can expend 1 Focus Point to deal an additional 1d4 Bludgeoning damage to each creature you hit with an unarmed strike or monk weapon until you stop moving.
This damage increases at later levels, increasing to 1d6 at 5th Level, 1d8 at 11th Level, and 1d10 at 17th Level.
6th Level: Mobile Deflection
When you use your Deflect Attacks feature, you can add your Wisdom modifier to the roll. In addition, when you redirect an attack using Deflect Attacks, you can adjust the position of yourself and the attacking creature. As a part of this reaction, you can move up to half of your speed and, if the triggering attack is a melee attack, force the target to make a strength saving throw or be moved with you. Should you reduce the damage taken from the triggering attack to 0, you redirect the attack from your new position, as usual.
Level 11: Harness Velocity
You can utilize your agility to create a variety of effects. When you take the Dash action on your turn, instead of using your momentum punch feature, you can expend 1 Focus Point to gain one of the following benefits until you stop moving:
Sonic Boom. You release a thunderous noise as you move. You create 5 foot emanation originating from you. Whenever the emanation enters a creature’s space, that creature must make a Constitution Saving Throw or take Thunder Damage equal to a roll of your martial arts die and be pushed 10 feet away from you.
Frictional Inferno. Your footsteps release a trail behind you as you move. Any space which you occupy after utilizing this benefit is engulfed in flames until the end of your next turn. Creatures who enter that space must make a Dexterity Saving Throw or take fire damage equal to a roll of your martial arts die, taking half damage on a success.
You needn’t expend a focus point to gain this feature’s benefits or those of Momentum Punch if you have already expended at least 1 this turn.
Level 17: Eternal Moment
Your speed is now great enough that you can live in a singular moment for an extended period of time. As a Magic Action, you can expend 10 Focus Points to cast Time Stop. During the turns granted by Time Stop, you can affect other creatures without ending the spell, though the spell does end as normal if another creature takes damage. Once you do this, you cannot do so again until you finish a Long Rest.
In addition, you can keep moving, even when all should be still. If another creature casts Time Stop, you take a turn immediately following each of that creature’s turns granted by the Time Stop, and all rules that normally apply to you while the spell is in effect apply as though you cast the spell, though you can deal damage to the creature who cast the spell.
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Edit: Updated features above based on feedback.
Level 3: Heightened Agility - Good this is a nice powerful but thematic ability
Level 3: Harness Velocity - This is WAY too powerful for 3rd level, this should be >10th level. Sonic Boom doesn't work as written since it stope when you stop moving and it's not possible for other ceatures to move into it while you are moving - perhaps you meant when the emanation enters the space of another creature?
6th Level: Mobile Deflection - This seems ok - bringing the attacking creature with you with no save for them is very powerful, and you need to improve the wording because the "attack" from Deflect Attack is optional and not really an "attack" perse.
Level 11: Enhance Alacrity - This is a bad feature - Haste isn't very good for a monk and it's really bad if you lose concentration, replace it with Harness Velocity
Level 17: Eternal Moment - This is a niche feature, Time Stop isn't actually very useful for a monk as it is generally used to cast defensive spells on yourself for a mage, what is the monk going to do during the stopped time? I guess they can drink a bunch of potions? The chances of encountering another creature that casts Time Stop is pretty slim, in 4 years of playing D&D I've only had it happen once.
Thank you for the feedback! I deeply appreciate it. Based on this, here are the changes that I at least feel make the most sense:
Harness Velocity gets moved to 11, as this was your biggest issue, and the wording issue on Sonic Boom will be fixed. Momentum punch specifically gets left at 3, however, to remain consistent with the other 2024 Monk subclasses in giving a new option for your Focus Points at that level. It would, however, get a damage decrease (probably scaling based on the old Martial Arts progression) and not get the Ki conservation feature until the full feature at level 10.
Mobile Deflection gets a strength save to move the creature.
Enhance Alacrity gets removed. This was the second biggest issue you pointed out, and melee characters concentrating on their own Haste only ending poorly is something I agree with wholeheartedly.
Eternal Moment gets changed to let you affect creatures while time is stopped so long as you don’t do any damage, which effectively lets you arrange the battlefield as you see fit and making it so you don’t have to take feats or magic items to be able to use this feature work at all.
Again, thank you so much for your feedback! Please let me know if there is anything else that I should change.
I think Heightened Agility is good, Initiative bonus is always desirable. Not sure if the Speed increase is necessary, but it's not unwelcome.
Momentum Punch I am unsure about- if you're taking the Dash action as an action, then your Bonus Action Unarmed Strike or Flurry of Blows gets the bonus to damage. Early levels it's better, but once you get Extra Attack, you're going to use the Dash action as a Bonus Action so you can get the bonus to your attacks made with the Attack action (since that does not cost Focus unlike Flurry of Blows). But then, you reach 10th level and get another attack with Flurry of Blows so again we're switching how we use it. Most importantly, it is better to make more attacks than it is to have less attacks that are stronger, as it gives you more opportunities to deal damage than not, but maybe there's something to be said about risk/reward. This definitely speaks to the idea, but I feel it can be made more consistent- maybe removing the Focus Point cost, having it add an additional Martial Arts Die to the damage, having it only being once per turn, I'm not sure. I feel like the Charger feat could also be a good chassis to base it off of, where you can add a bonus to the attack roll, potentially knock someone back, or add to the damage if you want to have some risk/reward.
Mobile Deflection adding Wisdom to the roll is neat, I like it. While I like the idea of a Strength save to move a target with you, that does kind of step on the toes of the Step of the Wind improvement at 10th level, so maybe move that to 11th level or replace it like how I did below. I do think the "move half your Speed" portion should be part of this Reaction regardless. Could read something like:
"When you use your Deflect Attacks feature, you gain the following benefits:
Harness Velocity is cool, and I particularly like Sonic Boom. That said, it could just deal a flat one roll of you Martial Arts Die Thunder damage to a creature the Emanation moves into, or whenever you move within 5 feet of another creature, similar to the Ashardalon's Stride spell (just make the creature take that damage no more than once per turn). For Frictional Inferno, it could also cause those spaces to become Difficult Terrain until the start of your next turn. Not sure I would keep the Dexterity save, maybe just have the creature take Fire damage equal to your Wisdom modifier for each of those spaces it moves on. I personally don't like having saves if they're occurring often and doing little damage, so just a flat small bit of damage that just occurs is what I prefer to lean into to speed up the game.
Eternal Moment is iconic for a speedster archetype. While I think this is absolutely a good direction the feature can go into, it could also be worth considering a "form change" of sorts. Like a once per rest ability that temporarily increases the number of attacks you can make, increases your speed, AC, the damage of some of your features, perhaps even a Concentration-less and lethargy-less form of Haste, the list goes on. Pushing yourself past your limits is always fun, and honestly I think this feature could go either way.
Overall, I think there's a lot of potential in a speedster Monk subclass, especially with the chassis of the Crusher, Charger, and Speedy feats in 2024. I feel you did quite well! I hope this feedback is helpful!