So, a bit of background before I get into the meat of this. I'm playing in a campaign as a Protection Aasimar Oath of the Ancients Paladin at level 3, and level 4 is approaching. My stats are as follows:
STR: 18 DEX: 9 CON: 14 INT: 10 WIS: 12 CHA: 18
Now, I know for optimization reasons, I should up either my Charisma or Strength to 20 ASAP, but while that is optimal, it sure is dull from a fun perspective. And since my stats are rolled, and above the standard set, I feel I can get away with taking a feat rather than a straight stat increase and hold off to level 8 for that. I've taken the Interception Fighting Style as our party is fairly melee heavy, and I like using my reactions to reduce the damage they take. Makes me feel more like a protector. So given that, in the previous campaign I was playing a Battlesmith Artificer damage frontliner using Sentinel. Which was fun. But AoOs never happened with this DM. And I expect more of the same thing this time. So I'd prefer to not use Sentinel this time around for a change, even if it is the best tank feat in the list by far.
So, for the sake of the theme of the heavily armored protector, I've been leaning Heavy Armor Master for the STR boost and damage reduction. Or Shield Master to really lean into the Shield warrior to use it more effectively as a defensive tool and for knockdown since I really don't have much that uses a bonus action. Both fit what I have in mind for the character.
But I also acknowledge that Inspiring Leader would be very useful, but with the way rests are played at my table its majoratively long rests with short rests seldom used. So while the temporary HP for the entire party would be super handy, it would likely be only once per day.
War Caster/Resilient(CON) is also a consideration to keep concentration now, but I feel at level 6 both will be less beneficial with the Paladin aura, though Resilient slightly less so compared to War Caster.
And finally I have the below feats as well, but am a bit wishy washy on them:
Alert - Love the not being able to be surprised, and love the extra bonus to initiative, but there have been many times where going last in the turn order has been beneficial.
Crusher - More STR, knockback, and giving allies advantage to attacks till my next turn is handy when I crit.
Fey Touched - Misty Step gives some good emergency mobility to get next to an ally, and I could take Hunter's Mark or Hex to add to my melee damage (but more things to concentrate on)
Mobile - More movement is good, being able to move further in difficult terrain is also good, and being able to move to defend an ally without taking a hit is also good. But given his low dex has been explained away by a war time injury, feels like its countering the concept. This feels more optimization over concept.
Slasher - Same as crusher, but slowing the target 10 feet, and imposing disadvantage to attacks on a crit.
Should I just take the +2 to Charisma? Stick to the theme of the armored shield fighter and take HAM, a Shield Master, be an inspiring leader, an iron will of focusing on spell concetration, or one of the wishy washy unsure feats that could be useful?
I would take Shield Master, especially over Heavy Armor Master... the bonus to DEX saves will, I believe, give you better defense in the long run than the relatively small amount of extra defense HAM offers.
Getting a bonus action shove is HUGE for a melee focused fighter, and helps to give you some additional Defense options... whether it's just knocking someone prone and, if nothing else, reducing their movement, but also shoving enemies around the board for battlefield control. Why fight the archer in front of you when you can just shove them off the parapet? Or knock someone into a campfire. Also keep in mind that the bonus action is worded such that If you take the attack action you can use your bonus action to shove, but it doesn't say after you take the attack action. This means you can start your turn round after round shoving your opponents prone to gain advantage on your attacks. If you really need to completely shut down an enemy you can use one of your attacks and swap it with a grapple check... someone knocked prone and grappled has no movement speed to use to get up from prone, so they're stuck either fighting back at disadvantage, or spending a full action to try and break the grapple just for the opportunity to stand up.
I wouldn't worry too much about concentration. Yes, there's a lot of paladin spells that use concentration, but you probably won't cast them much because you'll end up using your slots to smite much more than to hold concentration on bless or something.
I'd second shield master over HAM, mostly because I'm personally not a big fan of HAM. It can be useful now when you're 4th level, but its value starts to dip as you level. That said, taking HAM now, and then looking at crusher or slasher at level 8 would still get you to that 20 str, and give you some toys to play with along the way.
Or you could do something like fey touched, and then telekenetic, which would get your cha to 20, and give you fun toys to play with.
Alot of good options. It shows you thought this through. Misty Step is an amazing spell on any character. Playing a Vengeance Pally right now and I love it. Also using Shield Master and it is fantastic both offensivelly and defensively. It is true that Paladins don't have a lot of use for their bonus action outside of using Smite spells which is usually a worse option then just using it to Divine Smite directly.
If you do decide to pick up War Caster instead though, and it is also a great option, but its better if you somehow got access to Booming Blade but if you don't get alot of AoOs, that's going to be wasted in your case.
If you're the main party's tank, Alert is amazing because it allows you to put yourself in position first and set the flow of the battle early by controlling the battlefield, protecting your backline and allowing them to get in an advantageous position, blocking enemy advances.
Not that I don't like Mobile, but I wouldn't touch Mobile given your background reason either. As for HAM, it just scales so badly, I wouldn't ever consider it unless we're running an early game adventure like level 1 through 5 or something. It loses value way too fast.
My advice, since you have good rolled stats, if you're grabbing feats now, try and get STR or CHA half-feats to get your stats up to 20 anyway. You could grab 2 + one ASI to bring them both up to 20. Fey Touched I would highly recommend but I don't know if it fits the theme of your character. I just saw you're also getting Misty Step at level 5 from your Oath spells already though a free extra use is always nice. Crusher is better then Slasher, but I mean, you're dependant on the weapon you're using after all. You might not get to choose the type of magic weapon you first get to use. Resilient: CON is good, but your CON is already even though it could work if you add Crusher to it but then you're delaying your STR/CHA. As you said, your CON save will get good enough with Aura of Protection at level 6+ and you don't get a huge bonus from your PB then so it isn't a necessity yet. Its good, but its not something I would grab until later in the character's career when CON save DCs will get higher. This is doubly true if you grab War Caster since advantage is actually better then the proficiency to it until about level 13 when your PB grows to +5.
If you're planning to find a way to grab the Bladetrips, I would totally grab War Caster, it is very useful on a sword and board paladin since you need a free hand to cast many things. You can only use a spellcasting focus to waive this requirement away if a spell also has material components. If it only has the somatic component and no material component, by RAW, you need a free hand to cast it unless you have War Caster. This means you need to put away your shield or weapon to cast many useful spells but those that you would usually use in combat might be Cure Wounds, Divine Favor, Heroism, Lesser Restoration, Magic Weapon, Spirit Shroud, Elemental Weapon and Holy Weapon are the standouts. Obviously, this only applies if your DM doesn't houserule this away (which is fairly common) then the feat only becomes useful for advantage on CON saves and to use a cantrip for an AoO if you can find a way to get one through a multiclass dip or one of the few feats that would let you pick one.
None of us know the flavor of your character though, but these are all great options, try and pick what you feel fits best for him knowing that all these options are quite viable and it just depends how you want to steer the character's growth.
The damage reduction on Heavy Armor Master is good in tier 1, but once you reach tier 2, it starts to decline rapidly.
If your party is melee heavy, then +2 Charisma to boost your aura that you get at level 6 from +4 on saving throws to +5 on saving throws will basically be a +1 to all saving throws for you and a few other people in your party. That's a fantastic bonus. Once you get into tier 2, you'll find that saving throws start becoming much more important. At levels 4 and 5, the Charisma boost won't be nearly as useful. So one thing to consider is how much time you expect to spend in levels 4 and 5, and how soon the campaign ends. If the campaign is ending at level 6, then Heavy Armor Master would be a great choice. But if the campaign is going up to level 12, then Heavy Armor Master would be a horrible choice.
From your post, I would guess that the campaign is going up into the double digits for PC level, so I would go with the +2 Charisma.
But you also have to consider how often your group lets PCs get killed off and replaced by new characters. Some groups play much more recklessly and the DMs up the difficulty, which means that PC deaths are more common (which isn't necessarily a bad thing: it lets you try out more characters, and building a new character is one of the highlights of D&D for many players). In this case, even if your campaign goes up to level 15, your PC might die at level 5. But if your group is very sentimental and the DM doesn't increase the difficulty because you want to dominate every fight and feel like superheroes and never lose any of your characters, then it's a safe bet that your current PC will make it to the end of the campaign.
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So, a bit of background before I get into the meat of this. I'm playing in a campaign as a Protection Aasimar Oath of the Ancients Paladin at level 3, and level 4 is approaching. My stats are as follows:
STR: 18 DEX: 9 CON: 14 INT: 10 WIS: 12 CHA: 18
Now, I know for optimization reasons, I should up either my Charisma or Strength to 20 ASAP, but while that is optimal, it sure is dull from a fun perspective. And since my stats are rolled, and above the standard set, I feel I can get away with taking a feat rather than a straight stat increase and hold off to level 8 for that. I've taken the Interception Fighting Style as our party is fairly melee heavy, and I like using my reactions to reduce the damage they take. Makes me feel more like a protector. So given that, in the previous campaign I was playing a Battlesmith Artificer damage frontliner using Sentinel. Which was fun. But AoOs never happened with this DM. And I expect more of the same thing this time. So I'd prefer to not use Sentinel this time around for a change, even if it is the best tank feat in the list by far.
So, for the sake of the theme of the heavily armored protector, I've been leaning Heavy Armor Master for the STR boost and damage reduction. Or Shield Master to really lean into the Shield warrior to use it more effectively as a defensive tool and for knockdown since I really don't have much that uses a bonus action. Both fit what I have in mind for the character.
But I also acknowledge that Inspiring Leader would be very useful, but with the way rests are played at my table its majoratively long rests with short rests seldom used. So while the temporary HP for the entire party would be super handy, it would likely be only once per day.
War Caster/Resilient(CON) is also a consideration to keep concentration now, but I feel at level 6 both will be less beneficial with the Paladin aura, though Resilient slightly less so compared to War Caster.
And finally I have the below feats as well, but am a bit wishy washy on them:
Should I just take the +2 to Charisma? Stick to the theme of the armored shield fighter and take HAM, a Shield Master, be an inspiring leader, an iron will of focusing on spell concetration, or one of the wishy washy unsure feats that could be useful?
I would take Shield Master, especially over Heavy Armor Master... the bonus to DEX saves will, I believe, give you better defense in the long run than the relatively small amount of extra defense HAM offers.
Getting a bonus action shove is HUGE for a melee focused fighter, and helps to give you some additional Defense options... whether it's just knocking someone prone and, if nothing else, reducing their movement, but also shoving enemies around the board for battlefield control. Why fight the archer in front of you when you can just shove them off the parapet? Or knock someone into a campfire. Also keep in mind that the bonus action is worded such that If you take the attack action you can use your bonus action to shove, but it doesn't say after you take the attack action. This means you can start your turn round after round shoving your opponents prone to gain advantage on your attacks. If you really need to completely shut down an enemy you can use one of your attacks and swap it with a grapple check... someone knocked prone and grappled has no movement speed to use to get up from prone, so they're stuck either fighting back at disadvantage, or spending a full action to try and break the grapple just for the opportunity to stand up.
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I wouldn't worry too much about concentration. Yes, there's a lot of paladin spells that use concentration, but you probably won't cast them much because you'll end up using your slots to smite much more than to hold concentration on bless or something.
I'd second shield master over HAM, mostly because I'm personally not a big fan of HAM. It can be useful now when you're 4th level, but its value starts to dip as you level. That said, taking HAM now, and then looking at crusher or slasher at level 8 would still get you to that 20 str, and give you some toys to play with along the way.
Or you could do something like fey touched, and then telekenetic, which would get your cha to 20, and give you fun toys to play with.
Alot of good options. It shows you thought this through. Misty Step is an amazing spell on any character. Playing a Vengeance Pally right now and I love it. Also using Shield Master and it is fantastic both offensivelly and defensively. It is true that Paladins don't have a lot of use for their bonus action outside of using Smite spells which is usually a worse option then just using it to Divine Smite directly.
If you do decide to pick up War Caster instead though, and it is also a great option, but its better if you somehow got access to Booming Blade but if you don't get alot of AoOs, that's going to be wasted in your case.
If you're the main party's tank, Alert is amazing because it allows you to put yourself in position first and set the flow of the battle early by controlling the battlefield, protecting your backline and allowing them to get in an advantageous position, blocking enemy advances.
Not that I don't like Mobile, but I wouldn't touch Mobile given your background reason either. As for HAM, it just scales so badly, I wouldn't ever consider it unless we're running an early game adventure like level 1 through 5 or something. It loses value way too fast.
My advice, since you have good rolled stats, if you're grabbing feats now, try and get STR or CHA half-feats to get your stats up to 20 anyway. You could grab 2 + one ASI to bring them both up to 20. Fey Touched I would highly recommend but I don't know if it fits the theme of your character. I just saw you're also getting Misty Step at level 5 from your Oath spells already though a free extra use is always nice. Crusher is better then Slasher, but I mean, you're dependant on the weapon you're using after all. You might not get to choose the type of magic weapon you first get to use. Resilient: CON is good, but your CON is already even though it could work if you add Crusher to it but then you're delaying your STR/CHA. As you said, your CON save will get good enough with Aura of Protection at level 6+ and you don't get a huge bonus from your PB then so it isn't a necessity yet. Its good, but its not something I would grab until later in the character's career when CON save DCs will get higher. This is doubly true if you grab War Caster since advantage is actually better then the proficiency to it until about level 13 when your PB grows to +5.
If you're planning to find a way to grab the Bladetrips, I would totally grab War Caster, it is very useful on a sword and board paladin since you need a free hand to cast many things. You can only use a spellcasting focus to waive this requirement away if a spell also has material components. If it only has the somatic component and no material component, by RAW, you need a free hand to cast it unless you have War Caster. This means you need to put away your shield or weapon to cast many useful spells but those that you would usually use in combat might be Cure Wounds, Divine Favor, Heroism, Lesser Restoration, Magic Weapon, Spirit Shroud, Elemental Weapon and Holy Weapon are the standouts. Obviously, this only applies if your DM doesn't houserule this away (which is fairly common) then the feat only becomes useful for advantage on CON saves and to use a cantrip for an AoO if you can find a way to get one through a multiclass dip or one of the few feats that would let you pick one.
None of us know the flavor of your character though, but these are all great options, try and pick what you feel fits best for him knowing that all these options are quite viable and it just depends how you want to steer the character's growth.
The damage reduction on Heavy Armor Master is good in tier 1, but once you reach tier 2, it starts to decline rapidly.
If your party is melee heavy, then +2 Charisma to boost your aura that you get at level 6 from +4 on saving throws to +5 on saving throws will basically be a +1 to all saving throws for you and a few other people in your party. That's a fantastic bonus. Once you get into tier 2, you'll find that saving throws start becoming much more important. At levels 4 and 5, the Charisma boost won't be nearly as useful. So one thing to consider is how much time you expect to spend in levels 4 and 5, and how soon the campaign ends. If the campaign is ending at level 6, then Heavy Armor Master would be a great choice. But if the campaign is going up to level 12, then Heavy Armor Master would be a horrible choice.
From your post, I would guess that the campaign is going up into the double digits for PC level, so I would go with the +2 Charisma.
But you also have to consider how often your group lets PCs get killed off and replaced by new characters. Some groups play much more recklessly and the DMs up the difficulty, which means that PC deaths are more common (which isn't necessarily a bad thing: it lets you try out more characters, and building a new character is one of the highlights of D&D for many players). In this case, even if your campaign goes up to level 15, your PC might die at level 5. But if your group is very sentimental and the DM doesn't increase the difficulty because you want to dominate every fight and feel like superheroes and never lose any of your characters, then it's a safe bet that your current PC will make it to the end of the campaign.