my Bard Steve uses insults, jokes, and movie references delivered with a Jimmy from south park stutter.... things like The Maiden from Stoneburry Hollow. or insulting a BBEG on their motivations, because we do research before fights, usually. lol
fffff.....f.f.f.f.f.f....ff..f.all in nnn n nanana naaaaahhh dddditch, bbbbb-iiiiiiibibibiiiibiiiiiiii---tch! works great when subtracting a D12 from an enemies save.
i've also made a few songs only 1 original, that encompass our adventures.
I just wish Vicious Mockery could be cast as a bonus action or something and not have to be my action. If I could attack and cast VM then I would have much better influence in combat.
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Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt
I just wish Vicious Mockery could be cast as a bonus action or something and not have to be my action. If I could attack and cast VM then I would have much better influence in combat.
1. A Valor Bard will ultimately (at 14th Level) gain the ability to cast a bard spell AND make a weapon attack as a bonus action.
...it isn't for awhile; but it's there.
2. Alternatively...the new "College of Eloquence" Unearthed Arcana has a feature, "Undeniable Logic", which let's them debuff an enemy as a bonus action and deliver psychic damage, so they have disadvantage on their next saving throw.
...that could easily be re-flavored as a powerful "Vicious Mockery", and free up your action.
i get that this is meant to mean "you stink", but like everyone has worse breath than a dragon, the ability to spew elemental energy from their mouths simply makes their respiratory system superior to humans, elves, dwarves, halflings, ogres and everything else without a breath weapon in every way, so it is not the most hurtful insult.
Also in the particular case of an silver dragon, particularly when polymorphed into a human their breath would likely smell rather pleasant, or at least non horrible, what with them being rather social creatures commonly seen around other humanoids
green hags have the ability to change their appearance at will to deceive folk, as can annis hags. For sea hags however, or actiually all hags, they do enjoy being ugly so the point comes across
It's a fun spell, but it is really limited. 1d4 damage is paltry, even a wizard with a dagger could do more damage. It should really be a d6. There are plenty of other spells doing 1 d6 that include additional effects and debuffs.
side note about vicious mockery: its description is a bit in contrast with how people treat it, in that most people handle the spell as a single potent roast per casting from whom it derives its potenceý, when in reality it is more like several small, fast and petty insults meant to hide/ exist as an transportation medium for the real and disruptive enchantment magic that is really at play
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i am soup, with too many ideas (all of them very spicy) who has made sufficient homebrew material and character to last an thousand human lifetimes
(On a successful save) "Damn straight I fight like a dairy farmer! YOU try defending not only your family but also your entire herd against raiders without losing any family members nor even a single head of cattle. Not a one. Do you think you are tougher than an entire squad of raiders? Do you, punk?"
King David was an shepherd or something, fighting of lions and bears with nothing but a sling and the power of God
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i am soup, with too many ideas (all of them very spicy) who has made sufficient homebrew material and character to last an thousand human lifetimes
(On a successful save) "Damn straight I fight like a dairy farmer! YOU try defending not only your family but also your entire herd against raiders without losing any family members nor even a single head of cattle. Not a one. Do you think you are tougher than an entire squad of raiders? Do you, punk?"
No, on a successful save, you reply with "How appropriate. You fight like a cow!"
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Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
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my Bard Steve uses insults, jokes, and movie references delivered with a Jimmy from south park stutter.... things like The Maiden from Stoneburry Hollow. or insulting a BBEG on their motivations, because we do research before fights, usually. lol
fffff.....f.f.f.f.f.f....ff..f.all in nnn n nanana naaaaahhh dddditch, bbbbb-iiiiiiibibibiiiibiiiiiiii---tch! works great when subtracting a D12 from an enemies save.
i've also made a few songs only 1 original, that encompass our adventures.
but then what are the unoriginal songs like?
i am soup, with too many ideas (all of them very spicy) who has made sufficient homebrew material and character to last an thousand human lifetimes
I just wish Vicious Mockery could be cast as a bonus action or something and not have to be my action. If I could attack and cast VM then I would have much better influence in combat.
Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt
1. A Valor Bard will ultimately (at 14th Level) gain the ability to cast a bard spell AND make a weapon attack as a bonus action.
...it isn't for awhile; but it's there.
2. Alternatively...the new "College of Eloquence" Unearthed Arcana has a feature, "Undeniable Logic", which let's them debuff an enemy as a bonus action and deliver psychic damage, so they have disadvantage on their next saving throw.
...that could easily be re-flavored as a powerful "Vicious Mockery", and free up your action.
I friggin love vicious mockery. Basically hurting the enemy's self esteem until they die, morbidly hilarious
ok how about these:
.when you laugh the world laughs with you! unless your you then their crying.
. you are so ugly you could turn a medusa to stone!
.it appears that you grave robbed a corpse and stole its face
.you make a hag look like a supermodel.
.dragons have better breath than you
.i dare not fathom what your mother looked like
.no offense i just think you will always be half the man your mother was
i get that this is meant to mean "you stink", but like everyone has worse breath than a dragon, the ability to spew elemental energy from their mouths simply makes their respiratory system superior to humans, elves, dwarves, halflings, ogres and everything else without a breath weapon in every way, so it is not the most hurtful insult.
Also in the particular case of an silver dragon, particularly when polymorphed into a human their breath would likely smell rather pleasant, or at least non horrible, what with them being rather social creatures commonly seen around other humanoids
green hags have the ability to change their appearance at will to deceive folk, as can annis hags. For sea hags however, or actiually all hags, they do enjoy being ugly so the point comes across
grave robbery is typically something that is not targeted at somebody, just removing the word grave would make the sentence better.
other than that, good roasts
oh yeah a lore bard dueling another bard can begin to correct all the grammatical errors found within the vicious mockery of another bard
i am soup, with too many ideas (all of them very spicy) who has made sufficient homebrew material and character to last an thousand human lifetimes
time to try this out ;0
'I would insult you, but honestly natures done enough.'
'My kitten hits harder than that. pathetic. really
'oh jesus christ, wheres the rest of the guy?
It's a fun spell, but it is really limited. 1d4 damage is paltry, even a wizard with a dagger could do more damage. It should really be a d6. There are plenty of other spells doing 1 d6 that include additional effects and debuffs.
side note about vicious mockery: its description is a bit in contrast with how people treat it, in that most people handle the spell as a single potent roast per casting from whom it derives its potenceý, when in reality it is more like several small, fast and petty insults meant to hide/ exist as an transportation medium for the real and disruptive enchantment magic that is really at play
i am soup, with too many ideas (all of them very spicy) who has made sufficient homebrew material and character to last an thousand human lifetimes
don't you just love when the dndbeyond forum community comes together to insult things?
I would cast true polymorph to turn you into an ant, but I don't want to make you stronger!
"you sexless, genuflecting amoeba"
"you're uglier than a toad's ass"
"I'd insult you, but you wouldn't understand it"
"I'm about to touch you in that special way your daddy used to"
"you are a talentless, bumbling, second-rate hack"
"oh lord, your face! Which god did you piss off?"
Alas m'lord, we have much to discuss. But for this you'd better hold your temper better than you hold your liquor.
Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt
From the nature of the horny bard
I’m bisexual so your all at risk!
"You'll never amount to anything!"
"Your story is about to end without a satisfying pay-off!"
"When the gods made you, they did it with the spare parts left in the box...consider this a repo!"
"F*ck you, in particular!"
"Five-body pile up...EXPECT DELAYS."
"Quickly; tell me why you're qualified to fulfill this position as a dead man?"
Going to borrow this from a comedian... "GET UP SO I CAN KICK YOU AGAIN, YOU LYING F*CK."
"You loathesome MOUND!"
"You know when they kill-off the main character? Well, you're not the main character...but we gonna kill you, anyway."
"Your performance was ADEQUATE."
"WE WANT WHAT YOU HAVE!"
"Get your affairs in order!"
"When you greet your god in the afterlife...tell them...THEY'RE NEXT."
"Donny, you're out of your element!"
And, it has to be done:
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
I don't find any of the counter-VM funny. They just come across as Karen.
King David was an shepherd or something, fighting of lions and bears with nothing but a sling and the power of God
i am soup, with too many ideas (all of them very spicy) who has made sufficient homebrew material and character to last an thousand human lifetimes
ah yes and the classic from the victorian era:
you are a thief and a murderer, you have killed a baboon and stolen his face
feel free to change "baboon" for something a bit more foul and ugly like a kuo-tua, whight, quaggoth, orc, hobgoblin, gibbering mouther etc
i am soup, with too many ideas (all of them very spicy) who has made sufficient homebrew material and character to last an thousand human lifetimes
No, on a successful save, you reply with "How appropriate. You fight like a cow!"
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.