(On a successful save) "Damn straight I fight like a dairy farmer! YOU try defending not only your family but also your entire herd against raiders without losing any family members nor even a single head of cattle. Not a one. Do you think you are tougher than an entire squad of raiders? Do you, punk?"
No, on a successful save, you reply with "How appropriate. You fight like a cow!"
That is more of a persuasion (seduction) counter than vicious mockery. The first bard accused the second of being a dairy farmer and the bard accused in turn accuses the first of being a cow.... 'Wait... you want to... milk me?'
This man doesn't get the reference. Don't worry @6thLyranGuard, I get it.
(On a successful save) "Damn straight I fight like a dairy farmer! YOU try defending not only your family but also your entire herd against raiders without losing any family members nor even a single head of cattle. Not a one. Do you think you are tougher than an entire squad of raiders? Do you, punk?"
No, on a successful save, you reply with "How appropriate. You fight like a cow!"
That is more of a persuasion (seduction) counter than vicious mockery. The first bard accused the second of being a dairy farmer and the bard accused in turn accuses the first of being a cow.... 'Wait... you want to... milk me?'
This man doesn't get the reference. Don't worry @6thLyranGuard, I get it.
"When I heard the stories of 'Gorbador the city eater,' I was expecting a terrifying monster, of immeasurable power. But turns out, you're nothing more than an over hyped pansy."
And not mine but from a d&d series I watched a few years back on youtube:
I just wish Vicious Mockery could be cast as a bonus action or something and not have to be my action. If I could attack and cast VM then I would have much better influence in combat.
There is a feat or a Boon that allows you to cast cantrips as a bonus action, ask your DM.
I just wish Vicious Mockery could be cast as a bonus action or something and not have to be my action. If I could attack and cast VM then I would have much better influence in combat.
There is a feat or a Boon that allows you to cast cantrips as a bonus action, ask your DM.
first of all: there is no feat that does that, and the epic boons are reserved for 20th level characters, so you would not be able to use the boon of quick casting until you have already reached what should be the end of the campaign
second of all: you can gain the reverse benefit, an use of vicious mockery followed up by an weapon attack as a bonus action, by taking 7 levels of eldrich knight or by being a 14th level valor bard
thirdly: if vicious mockery had the abillity to be cast as a bonus action, it would have to be nerfed quite a lot, removing all the damage it deals so that it just gives disadvantage on the next attack roll of the target might not be enough, since even that would make it very potent as a cantrip. It might work as the 3rd level feature for a bard collage tho, getting to cast an no-damage vicious mockery as a bonus action
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i am soup, with too many ideas (all of them very spicy) who has made sufficient homebrew material and character to last an thousand human lifetimes
"Listen here, ya spiked-c**ked, tar-eyed, plank-shaped, sewer-arsed rodent analogs! I'm gonna shear that thin film of slime you call skin from your spindly husks and make a f***** raincoat out of 'em! I'm gonna slam my fist down your throats, rip out your inky innards and stitch a leathery sack out of 'em! I'm gonna saw your wee legs off and turn your hollow leg bones into f***** flutes! I'm gonna craft a makeshift pipe bag out of the rancid materials I have harvested from your twitching bodies! And then I'm gonna come around and play a nice tune at your funeral ceremonies! Before I piss on your f***** grandma!"
"Listen here, ya spiked-c**ked, tar-eyed, plank-shaped, sewer-arsed rodent analogs! I'm gonna shear that thin film of slime you call skin from your spindly husks and make a f***** raincoat out of 'em! I'm gonna slam my fist down your throats, rip out your inky innards and stitch a leathery sack out of 'em! I'm gonna saw your wee legs off and turn your hollow leg bones into f***** flutes! I'm gonna craft a makeshift pipe bag out of the rancid materials I have harvested from your twitching bodies! And then I'm gonna come around and play a nice tune at your funeral ceremonies! Before I piss on your f***** grandma!"
I see someone is a fan of Urist Boatmurdered
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I could’ve been your daddy, but the dog beat me over the fence.
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Hardcovers, DDB & You
Content Troubleshooting
Epic Boons on DDB
This man doesn't get the reference. Don't worry @6thLyranGuard, I get it.
I'm glad someone did.
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
Ah, the negotiator.
A Intellect Devourer woud starve feeding off you
I recently fought a giant spider, and, of course, my bard happened to be afraid of spiders.
"You stupid, stupid bug! I shall squash you with my mighty foot!"
Certified gay geek
Still don’t really know how to play this game, but I love it anyway.
he/they
"After seeing you, I regret being able to see in the dark!"
Oh! I got two:
"When I heard the stories of 'Gorbador the city eater,' I was expecting a terrifying monster, of immeasurable power. But turns out, you're nothing more than an over hyped pansy."
And not mine but from a d&d series I watched a few years back on youtube:
"HEY, YOU BIG DUMMY!"
I miss Eloy
Thank you for volunteering to be the target for our party's target practice.
You understand the object of a fight is to hurt your opponents?
You can't help being ugly, but you could have done something with your wardrobe.
I've never heard of you, and soon no one else will have a chance to.
Didn't I see you in the outhouse? I mean under the seat.
I 'd offer a copper for your thoughts, but I don't like overpaying.
Remember the last fight you won? Neither do we.
There is a feat or a Boon that allows you to cast cantrips as a bonus action, ask your DM.
first of all: there is no feat that does that, and the epic boons are reserved for 20th level characters, so you would not be able to use the boon of quick casting until you have already reached what should be the end of the campaign
second of all: you can gain the reverse benefit, an use of vicious mockery followed up by an weapon attack as a bonus action, by taking 7 levels of eldrich knight or by being a 14th level valor bard
thirdly: if vicious mockery had the abillity to be cast as a bonus action, it would have to be nerfed quite a lot, removing all the damage it deals so that it just gives disadvantage on the next attack roll of the target might not be enough, since even that would make it very potent as a cantrip. It might work as the 3rd level feature for a bard collage tho, getting to cast an no-damage vicious mockery as a bonus action
i am soup, with too many ideas (all of them very spicy) who has made sufficient homebrew material and character to last an thousand human lifetimes
tell your mother or father beastality is not ok, this is how we get freaks like you
your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries
oh, I thought you were an ugly dwarf but your just a midget
it's called a shower, you should try it sometime
*insert suction cup man "your a b**ch" song here*
Shut up, Meg!
This can't possibly be your best effort.
He's, but a simple man. Wipe your drool...
I love the gnomes from Fable 3. These are some of my favourites:
Sure is a beautiful day... Except where you're standing
Seeing you brings back memories... Of wanting my eyes gouged out
Ha! [laugh] You're funny. But looks aren't everything
I can't decide if I like your looks or your personality better — it's like comparing mud to sewage
Oh, I didn't notice you there. How d'you like being so insignificant?
We could be best friends, if I liked people with an arse for a face.
I could help you find what you're looking for. First; Pull your head out your arse!
Those are nice shoes, but don't you think your gran's feet are cold without them?!
I'd like to come 'round to your house for tea. And then I'll have your mum.
Nice weapon you've got there. What are you, compensating for something?
You're going to make some man/woman very lucky... If he likes UGLY BIRDS/BLOKES with no PERSONALITY
You're the scariest thing since... Since that squirrel ran by ten minutes ago.
You look like you've found a great deal of treasure... And eaten it!
Men and beasts fear you. Fruits and veg, they're safe.
Fable Fandom Wiki
Be Excellent To Each Other.
One that makes me laugh quite a bit:
"You're not a Complete Failure, there are some bits still missing from you"
This is a list I keep handy. Several of them are versions of examples I have seen before that have been reflavored for my own purposes.
"If you're going to swing that sword at me, at least TRY to make it look like you're not waving your father's c**k."
A dwarf encountering drow:
"Listen here, ya spiked-c**ked, tar-eyed, plank-shaped, sewer-arsed rodent analogs! I'm gonna shear that thin film of slime you call skin from your spindly husks and make a f***** raincoat out of 'em! I'm gonna slam my fist down your throats, rip out your inky innards and stitch a leathery sack out of 'em! I'm gonna saw your wee legs off and turn your hollow leg bones into f***** flutes! I'm gonna craft a makeshift pipe bag out of the rancid materials I have harvested from your twitching bodies! And then I'm gonna come around and play a nice tune at your funeral ceremonies! Before I piss on your f***** grandma!"
I see someone is a fan of Urist Boatmurdered