So, a few days ago a went to a shop to DM a one-shot and long story short got an extremely rude person in my game who was just wanting to kill.
He did many things to disrupt the game, like tried to slit the parties throats in their sleep, but one thing above all made me actually angry.
After I told him 'No you can not slit their throats, you are not evil' he started playing a game on his phone and ignoring me unless I was attacking him or it was his turn.
I have only had kind people in my games so I was taken back by this.
Obviously this is an extreme case but it made me realize that I don't know what to do about rude players.
Anyone have advice that they could share? I would welcome it.
This is only my opinion, but if I were in this situation, I would take my three-step program towards a smooth game! :)
1. Try to subtly get the game turned against the rude player/s. Example: NPCs are hostile towards rude player, monsters use their most powerful and high-damaging attacks against the rude player, and if you are using a DM screen, make most of the rude player's ability checks, attack rolls, and saving throws fail (ignoring the DCs and die rolls). This will frustrate the player without outright angering them. If this doesn't work, try the option below:
2. Tell the player outright that his/her behavior is unacceptable and immature. Also remind them of the Code of Conduct for public games, found on page 9 of the following link: http://media.wizards.com/2017/dnd/downloads/AL_DMG_YP.pdf
3. If nothing seems to work, you could tell a staff member of the game store to settle the problem (possibly removing the rude player).
Devious serpent folk devoid of compassion, yuan-ti manipulate other creatures by arousing their doubts, evoking their fears, and elevating and crushing their hopes. From remote temples in jungles, swamps, and deserts, the yuan-ti plot to supplant and dominate all other races and to make themselves gods.
In my experience with "rude players" (which I put in quotes because what is or isn't rude is subjective to each group, their desired style of play, and sense of humor), I have found that the best thing to do is be upfront and clear about what problem you are having with their behavior.
To bend that to your example: When a player is wanting to slit the throats of their party members, I wouldn't just say "No, you can't." I would ask the group if that's how they want to play this campaign (which I've learned to do before ever starting a session so that people looking for something other than what everyone else at the table is after don't have their, or my, time and effort wasted). If the group are all okay with it, then play proceeds and I adjudicate the rules as fairly as possible (stealth checks vs. perception, attack rolls, damage, and so forth - rather than "okay, your throat is slit and you die"). And if everyone's not cool with it, that's when I say "That won't be allowed because it would disrupt the experience that everybody (else) is looking for."
Best case scenario is that the player understands they can't have their fun be at the expense of other people at the table and play continues without further issue. Worst case scenario is that the player insists on being disruptive - and then a simple "You aren't fitting in with this table, so you should find a different one to play with" is all that is needed.
But one thing that I have seen compound problems and constantly fail to achieve anything remotely like the desired effect is to address a disruptive player via the game itself - it always ends up with the disruptive player thinking the DM is being a jerk, rather than being aware that their own behavior was out of line for the table.
In my experience with "rude players" (which I put in quotes because what is or isn't rude is subjective to each group, their desired style of play, and sense of humor), I have found that the best thing to do is be upfront and clear about what problem you are having with their behavior.
To bend that to your example: When a player is wanting to slit the throats of their party members, I wouldn't just say "No, you can't." I would ask the group if that's how they want to play this campaign (which I've learned to do before ever starting a session so that people looking for something other than what everyone else at the table is after don't have their, or my, time and effort wasted). If the group are all okay with it, then play proceeds and I adjudicate the rules as fairly as possible (stealth checks vs. perception, attack rolls, damage, and so forth - rather than "okay, your throat is slit and you die"). And if everyone's not cool with it, that's when I say "That won't be allowed because it would disrupt the experience that everybody (else) is looking for."
Best case scenario is that the player understands they can't have their fun be at the expense of other people at the table and play continues without further issue. Worst case scenario is that the player insists on being disruptive - and then a simple "You aren't fitting in with this table, so you should find a different one to play with" is all that is needed.
But one thing that I have seen compound problems and constantly fail to achieve anything remotely like the desired effect is to address a disruptive player via the game itself - it always ends up with the disruptive player thinking the DM is being a jerk, rather than being aware that their own behavior was out of line for the table.
This is actually really helpful! I love the idea of making him do all the rolls.
So, a few days ago a went to a shop to DM a one-shot and long story short got an extremely rude person in my game who was just wanting to kill.
He did many things to disrupt the game, like tried to slit the parties throats in their sleep, but one thing above all made me actually angry.
After I told him 'No you can not slit their throats, you are not evil' he started playing a game on his phone and ignoring me unless I was attacking him or it was his turn.
I have only had kind people in my games so I was taken back by this.
Obviously this is an extreme case but it made me realize that I don't know what to do about rude players.
Anyone have advice that they could share? I would welcome it.
Thank you
Newbie GM | Mathsquad | Current Jam
This is only my opinion, but if I were in this situation, I would take my three-step program towards a smooth game! :)
1. Try to subtly get the game turned against the rude player/s. Example: NPCs are hostile towards rude player, monsters use their most powerful and high-damaging attacks against the rude player, and if you are using a DM screen, make most of the rude player's ability checks, attack rolls, and saving throws fail (ignoring the DCs and die rolls). This will frustrate the player without outright angering them. If this doesn't work, try the option below:
2. Tell the player outright that his/her behavior is unacceptable and immature. Also remind them of the Code of Conduct for public games, found on page 9 of the following link: http://media.wizards.com/2017/dnd/downloads/AL_DMG_YP.pdf
3. If nothing seems to work, you could tell a staff member of the game store to settle the problem (possibly removing the rude player).
Devious serpent folk devoid of compassion, yuan-ti manipulate other creatures by arousing their doubts, evoking their fears, and elevating and crushing their hopes. From remote temples in jungles, swamps, and deserts, the yuan-ti plot to supplant and dominate all other races and to make themselves gods.
In my experience with "rude players" (which I put in quotes because what is or isn't rude is subjective to each group, their desired style of play, and sense of humor), I have found that the best thing to do is be upfront and clear about what problem you are having with their behavior.
To bend that to your example: When a player is wanting to slit the throats of their party members, I wouldn't just say "No, you can't." I would ask the group if that's how they want to play this campaign (which I've learned to do before ever starting a session so that people looking for something other than what everyone else at the table is after don't have their, or my, time and effort wasted). If the group are all okay with it, then play proceeds and I adjudicate the rules as fairly as possible (stealth checks vs. perception, attack rolls, damage, and so forth - rather than "okay, your throat is slit and you die"). And if everyone's not cool with it, that's when I say "That won't be allowed because it would disrupt the experience that everybody (else) is looking for."
Best case scenario is that the player understands they can't have their fun be at the expense of other people at the table and play continues without further issue. Worst case scenario is that the player insists on being disruptive - and then a simple "You aren't fitting in with this table, so you should find a different one to play with" is all that is needed.
But one thing that I have seen compound problems and constantly fail to achieve anything remotely like the desired effect is to address a disruptive player via the game itself - it always ends up with the disruptive player thinking the DM is being a jerk, rather than being aware that their own behavior was out of line for the table.
This is actually really helpful! I love the idea of making him do all the rolls.
Thank you for responding!
Newbie GM | Mathsquad | Current Jam
And that's why I don't run games in any place where I am not authorized to kick someone from the table.