A guy walks into the tavern. He has dark hair, tanned skin, a well-trimmed goatee beard, and is wearing red gloves. 'Nice tavern, this is. I'm Flynn. T. Skiller' He asks what drinks are on offer

Oh sorry Avicii

*Ever heard about the Bon Jovi Soul Restaurant? It seems pretty awesome.*

*... I'll come up with a character.*

'Hey, you lot. You wanna mess with someone? Mess with each other' Flynn. T. Skiller points a knife at one of the weaker ruffians. 'You. Stamp on your mate's foot. Hurting people isn't so much fun now, is it?'

'Sorry about them. I'm guessing you don't serve blood. In which case, can I have a citrus-flavoured mead?'

'I do love grapefruit. Innocent on the outside, sour on the inside. And fun to slowly squeeze the liquid out of. Yes, grapefruits remind me of hypocrites'

'Not a problem. Any decent person would have done it. Clearly there are no decent people in this place'

'I belong to the second type, if you couldn't tell'

'Oh, don't worry, I won't. I know where bloodshed isn't welcome. And I might be a bad guy, as some would say, but I'm civilised. Don't like to make a mess in other people's taverns'

'I'm assuming you're being ironic, and yes, of course I would. As I said before, it's a nice little tavern. Clean, as well. I like clean.' 

'That's a shame. My condolences. You keep this tavern well. Say, have you seen any old tortles in here recently?'