So, I'm making a bard and I intend for him to be kind of a joke character and one of the ideas I have for him is that he can't sing worth a damn, and he plays an instrument that is really loud and obnoxious (and he doesn't play it very well either). Basically, if he were a busker playing in the street, people would pay so that he woudn't play his music. So, I come to you asking for ideas for the perfect weap--I mean, musical instrument for a poor, talentless bard. What is the loudest, most obnoxious musical instrument you can think of?
The musical instrument that sounds the worst when played badly would probably be the bagpipes
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Active characters:
Askatu, hyperfocused vedalken freedom fighter in Wildspace (Zealot barb/Swashbuckler rogue/Battle Master fighter) Green Hill Sunrise, jaded tabaxi mercenary trapped in the Dark Domains (Battle Master fighter) Xhekhetiel, halfling survivor of a Betrayer Gods cult (Runechild sorcerer/fighter)
Go for the zulkoon. It's like a portable pump organ and is considered to have a "dramatic, but sinister" sound (per the Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide). Why simply annoy everyone when you can make them think some horrible, otherworldly calamity is upon them?
Go for the zulkoon. It's like a portable pump organ and is considered to have a "dramatic, but sinister" sound (per the Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide). Why simply annoy everyone when you can make them think some horrible, otherworldly calamity is upon them?
I don't think "horrible, otherworldly calamity" is going to be the effect a zulkoon would have in this particular Bard's hands -- well, "horrible" most definitely, lol. But it would be more like: "Stop. Please stop. My ears are literally bleeding right now. I will pay you money to stop playing -- or at least get a couple of music lessons."
But anyhoo, the point of this character is to be loud and obnoxious and annoying. Even their spells are to be flavoured with that in mind. For example: if I chose Counterspell as a spell, it would most likely take the form of my Bard annoying the everliving fudge out of the enemy mage while they're trying to cast a spell until they eventually give up. A spell like Deafness would probably be the Bard blasting their instrument so loudly that it...well, you get the idea. XD
Didgeridoo! Or he made a drumkit out of barrels and they smell like pickled herring! Tambourine or symbols work too. Also, badly played bagpipes, kazoo, or harmonica.
Have your bard throat sing badly. It can sound cool when done right, but I can imagine that it sounds awful when done poorly.
Also, the violin is really hard to get right. It is a beautiful instrument, but there are so many ways for you to mess up and make it sound awful. Trust me, I know.
I see no one has put in a word for the nose flute.
Now I'm imagining Zamfir being played like a school kid with a nose flute, haha. I'm surprised nobody mentioned jaw harps either, but I guess they wouldn't be loud and obnoxious enough, lol.
So, I'm making a bard and I intend for him to be kind of a joke character and one of the ideas I have for him is that he can't sing worth a damn, and he plays an instrument that is really loud and obnoxious (and he doesn't play it very well either). Basically, if he were a busker playing in the street, people would pay so that he woudn't play his music. So, I come to you asking for ideas for the perfect weap--I mean, musical instrument for a poor, talentless bard. What is the loudest, most obnoxious musical instrument you can think of?
A kazoo or a recorder.
You monster. *takes notes* XD
The musical instrument that sounds the worst when played badly would probably be the bagpipes
Active characters:
Askatu, hyperfocused vedalken freedom fighter in Wildspace (Zealot barb/Swashbuckler rogue/Battle Master fighter)
Green Hill Sunrise, jaded tabaxi mercenary trapped in the Dark Domains (Battle Master fighter)
Xhekhetiel, halfling survivor of a Betrayer Gods cult (Runechild sorcerer/fighter)
I love bagpipes but I agree. If played badly they sound terrible
"Now unto the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen" - 1 Timothy 1:17
Go for the zulkoon. It's like a portable pump organ and is considered to have a "dramatic, but sinister" sound (per the Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide). Why simply annoy everyone when you can make them think some horrible, otherworldly calamity is upon them?
I don't think "horrible, otherworldly calamity" is going to be the effect a zulkoon would have in this particular Bard's hands -- well, "horrible" most definitely, lol. But it would be more like: "Stop. Please stop. My ears are literally bleeding right now. I will pay you money to stop playing -- or at least get a couple of music lessons."
But anyhoo, the point of this character is to be loud and obnoxious and annoying. Even their spells are to be flavoured with that in mind. For example: if I chose Counterspell as a spell, it would most likely take the form of my Bard annoying the everliving fudge out of the enemy mage while they're trying to cast a spell until they eventually give up. A spell like Deafness would probably be the Bard blasting their instrument so loudly that it...well, you get the idea. XD
Didgeridoo! Or he made a drumkit out of barrels and they smell like pickled herring! Tambourine or symbols work too. Also, badly played bagpipes, kazoo, or harmonica.
Food, Scifi/fantasy, anime, DND 5E/RPG geek.
Bodhran, a large, flat resonant drum but with a warped frame and the skin with a still visible tattoo worn by the skin's previous owner.
Kalimba - hand made by the character
Hurdy Gurdy - drone strings always out of tune
Have your bard throat sing badly. It can sound cool when done right, but I can imagine that it sounds awful when done poorly.
Also, the violin is really hard to get right. It is a beautiful instrument, but there are so many ways for you to mess up and make it sound awful. Trust me, I know.
Vuvuzela.
One man band!
Is there such a thing as quadruple-disadvantage stealth checks?
There is now. XD
This came to mind when I read your post. https://youtu.be/hHkM04Dztls
Imagine Zamfir, but played like a school kid.
I see I am a year plus late but I was going to say recorder...lol
I see no one has put in a word for the nose flute.
Behind every successful Warlock, there's an angry mob.
Oh my gosh, that is an incredible mental image. I love it. XD
Now I'm imagining Zamfir being played like a school kid with a nose flute, haha. I'm surprised nobody mentioned jaw harps either, but I guess they wouldn't be loud and obnoxious enough, lol.
Kazoo or Harmonica. Easy to get ahold of, and both massively obnoxious if done right. Or wrong, as we're going for...lol
Any high pitched, stringed, bowed instrument. My suggestion is Viola. Very high pitches, extremely annoying if you cant play it right.
Hi, it's me. I make DnD stuff sometimes. I play for fun how I want to. I may not play correctly, but I play enjoyably.