Like the title says there is some conflict going on in my party that I'd like to not make worse but still resolve as a fellow party member. The game is on Roll20 meets once a week and there is a small pay to play fee, none of us know each other in real life. A month or so ago a new player joined our established campaign after another had to leave due to life and stuff. New guy plays his character more Puck-ish than I or one other party member care for. I mostly ignore him when he tries to bait or get into some antics but the other party member wants us all to be more hero-like. So they both butt heads a lot. Old party member is getting fed up and new guy hides behind the "my character learns by crashing into the wall not by being told what to do". And new guy is pretty dynamic and a role-player but he randomly wastes time trying to break up NPCs or steal from the townfolks that we've been protecting. And its not "he didn't know" he says that being told not to steal is not a good reason to not do it. The DM is attempting to mediate, between them two but they both keep dragging out to the group chat asking for our opinion or to take a stand. On the 1 hand yeah new guy bugs me a bit sometimes but not enough to make a difference. But I also wish he would tone down his..."stupidness?" There is role-play (no one in the campaign is allowed to be evil but we don't have to be saints) and new guy only really acts out in downtime locations, when fighting or in a dungeon he plays well and as a team, and then there is being annoying or intentionally acting on baser impulses. Suggestions or comments?
... And its not "he didn't know" he says that being told not to steal is not a good reason to not do it. ... Suggestions or comments?
Being handed over to the authorities for stealing might be a good reason not to do it. If the other characters have a problem with this character stealing, presumably they're not just going to keep giving endless warnings. I'd let player and DM know it might come to this beforehand but if the stealing continues, well, it likely would come to this if I were you.
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Is there *anyone* who does not find this new player annoying? If they upset everyone, there is no reason to tolerate their behavior. You are all paying money to play the game. Have the DM talk to them, and if the new player does not change, boot them out with no regrets. If no money was involved I *might* suffer such a player, but with cash on the line there is a good reason to be intolerant.
There is one party member that has also been there from the start that just chuckles and hasn't said anything. The DM just takes it in strides and kind of agrees its *some* roleplaying on the new guys part. I think its just the latest clashing of heads between new guy and old guy that escalated it. Hopefully this dragging it out solves it. But yes, you are right, if I'm paying (even if only $6) then no reason to put up with antics I don't care for.
I think the tolerance for shitty D&D when you are paying for it has to be MUCH much lower than free D&D. At that point, it's not just a casual activity. Everyone expects a certain amount of enjoyment and the DM didn't really forsee that.
Condolences that your D&D game has stopped, like so many others before it and so many after it will. It's never fun, regardless of how bad or good it was.
Well one guy quit, the jerk is out and I basically said no no more. So right now it’s over. We’ll see if we return without him but the dude is definitely gone and we’ll see if old player is willing to come back. Jerk guy didn’t really get it in two sessions. And today was last straw.
The original party is a goliath barbarian, a gnome wizard and Kalashtar Rogue (me). But I don't play the rogue as a thief more as a spy (and occasional assassin). Part of session zero several months ago was that we weren't going to be an evil party and occasional bad stuff happens but we would be "good guys. The town is our base of operation, the city pays/gives lodging/food for us to protect them and we had built up story plots in there for a while now. New guy started like a month and a half ago, played half-elf ranger, started in the same city with us, same perks, same info, basically new recruit of town protection. He did less hero stuff but mostly in roleplay (i.e. fell in love with a half elf woman even though she was engaged to some other NPC, would challenge the people in the tavern to contest and "cheat" with spells, try to haggle, and be the sort of character with a chip on their shoulder), when we went to dungeons he did play along with the party and was a team player.
But last week we returned from a dungeon, we sold stuff, upgraded gear and went to the rooms to discuss clues we found (the party is being watched by an evil group) and to make sure we weren't overheard I opened the locks to the two rooms next to us to make sure they were empty (we knocked first but just to make sure). As I was opening the second room the ranger goes into the first room (I forgot to lock the door back up) and proceeds to go through their stuff and sees the magical sword that we knew belonged to a known NPC/towns person that had been friendly to us on a few occasions so he steals the sword which had an alarm spell on it. We (out of character and in character) were not happy about that, reasoning that petty theft could be a thing but you generally don't steal from the people directly sponsoring you much less their house. I stopped lock picking when ranger went to other room so all that was seen was ranger walking out with magic sword and some other valuables. NPC shows up and tells ranger he will either challenge him to a KO duel or call the constable. Ranger accepts duel, the other guy beats him fairly in town square and for roleplay purposes pantses him (pull down his pants to embarrass him). Well we were already pissed off he went and stole from the people that hire us so we didn't intervene with the duel and played that the characters laughed a bit but then took him back and wash hands of everything. One in game night passed and ranger wakes up in the night and attempts to go after NPC. At this point we the players are angry. He doesn't find the NPC (who is out on watch). Session ends we all are annoyed, ranger says character is immature and doesn't know better. We still point out the character would be smart enough to not "s*it where you eat". Fast forward to yesterday, party got another clue, two in game days passed and before departing for another adventure party RPs an event happening in town, ranger stays behind sulking and when NPC comes home ranger surprised and nearly kills him. Ranger heals the NPC but per house rules anything with high enough additional damage past zero leaves a lasting injury. Ranger tells NPC they are even for embarrassing him. Goliath and I are very upset, saying attempted murder is not even, that its a pretty evil action, and that its just a left turn. Ranger says according to his backstory (approved by the DM) says he was ostracized and grew up as a slave and in savage lands and all sorts of stuff so his honor is important. We still point out that is still out of character and he never showed or shared anything showing importance of honor or any backstory that would support attempted murder = slight embarrassment for theft. DM says there will be consequences and that things happen and to wait and see. But all that happens is the crippled NPC tells the constable and we get fired, thrown out of town and the ranger is banned. At this point Golitah player and I are pissed at this random act suddenly undoing months of roleplay and pending quests. DM saying now the ranger can grow and learn and become a good person, ranger saying he's surprised cause goliaths are more neutral and self serving (even if that player had not played the character that way at all, he played him more like Drax from guardians of the galaxy), and that I as a rogue should be ok with stealing. And that we didn't know the character's background. And so on. Goliath guy says he's out, I followed soon after citing discussions on session zero and the general tone from the last few months and even the last month and a half of the new guy playing. New guy says he is sorry and would re-play his character as only being chaotic outside of cities, and I said no thanks. So we'll see how it shakes out next week but goliath guy and me are out if the ranger is staying.
TL;DR : Theft was witnessed by characters and new guy kept being a di*k even after two sessions worth of being informed to tone it down. New guy also crippled guy he stole from unfairly even after NPC let him go with minimal punishment (slight embarrassment).
Honestly, I've found that the best way to deal with a problem player is to just be honest with them, without being judgemental. All the players I've had with this issue were just not aware of the following fact, and adapted their playstyle once I made them aware.
Sometimes you have to point out that there has to be an unspoken agreement between the players that they will make decisions to help the party.
That means your character has to care about the things the others characters care about, and it's up to you to come up with reasons why your character wants to help the other players succeed.
D&D is collaborative storytelling. Each player needs to be thinking "what could my character to do that will help advance, or add to the story the DM is trying to tell", not just "What would my character do".
If you keep doing things that are completely irrelevant to the story at hand, and trying to create completely new narratives in the middle of the story the DM is trying to tell, it just grinds the game to a halt and throws the DM off.
Like the title says there is some conflict going on in my party that I'd like to not make worse but still resolve as a fellow party member. The game is on Roll20 meets once a week and there is a small pay to play fee, none of us know each other in real life. A month or so ago a new player joined our established campaign after another had to leave due to life and stuff. New guy plays his character more Puck-ish than I or one other party member care for. I mostly ignore him when he tries to bait or get into some antics but the other party member wants us all to be more hero-like. So they both butt heads a lot. Old party member is getting fed up and new guy hides behind the "my character learns by crashing into the wall not by being told what to do". And new guy is pretty dynamic and a role-player but he randomly wastes time trying to break up NPCs or steal from the townfolks that we've been protecting. And its not "he didn't know" he says that being told not to steal is not a good reason to not do it. The DM is attempting to mediate, between them two but they both keep dragging out to the group chat asking for our opinion or to take a stand. On the 1 hand yeah new guy bugs me a bit sometimes but not enough to make a difference. But I also wish he would tone down his..."stupidness?" There is role-play (no one in the campaign is allowed to be evil but we don't have to be saints) and new guy only really acts out in downtime locations, when fighting or in a dungeon he plays well and as a team, and then there is being annoying or intentionally acting on baser impulses. Suggestions or comments?
Being handed over to the authorities for stealing might be a good reason not to do it. If the other characters have a problem with this character stealing, presumably they're not just going to keep giving endless warnings. I'd let player and DM know it might come to this beforehand but if the stealing continues, well, it likely would come to this if I were you.
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If you do not kick this guy out the group will disband, and you will not finish the campaign. No if, and ,or buts about it.
1 shot dungeon master
Is there *anyone* who does not find this new player annoying? If they upset everyone, there is no reason to tolerate their behavior. You are all paying money to play the game. Have the DM talk to them, and if the new player does not change, boot them out with no regrets. If no money was involved I *might* suffer such a player, but with cash on the line there is a good reason to be intolerant.
<Insert clever signature here>
There is one party member that has also been there from the start that just chuckles and hasn't said anything. The DM just takes it in strides and kind of agrees its *some* roleplaying on the new guys part. I think its just the latest clashing of heads between new guy and old guy that escalated it. Hopefully this dragging it out solves it. But yes, you are right, if I'm paying (even if only $6) then no reason to put up with antics I don't care for.
Yeah that's kind of what its feeling like right now, hopefully this latest clash will resolve it.
Two sessions later and your prophecy came true.
So the group disbanded? Or he was kicked from the group?
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
"And its not "he didn't know" he says that being told not to steal is not a good reason to not do it." The quintuple negative lost me.
I think the tolerance for shitty D&D when you are paying for it has to be MUCH much lower than free D&D. At that point, it's not just a casual activity. Everyone expects a certain amount of enjoyment and the DM didn't really forsee that.
Condolences that your D&D game has stopped, like so many others before it and so many after it will. It's never fun, regardless of how bad or good it was.
Well one guy quit, the jerk is out and I basically said no no more. So right now it’s over. We’ll see if we return without him but the dude is definitely gone and we’ll see if old player is willing to come back. Jerk guy didn’t really get it in two sessions. And today was last straw.
You gotta speak up in situations like these and take a stand. As corny as it sounds the quote here works best.
All it takes for evil to rise is for good men to do nothing.
1 shot dungeon master
The original party is a goliath barbarian, a gnome wizard and Kalashtar Rogue (me). But I don't play the rogue as a thief more as a spy (and occasional assassin). Part of session zero several months ago was that we weren't going to be an evil party and occasional bad stuff happens but we would be "good guys. The town is our base of operation, the city pays/gives lodging/food for us to protect them and we had built up story plots in there for a while now. New guy started like a month and a half ago, played half-elf ranger, started in the same city with us, same perks, same info, basically new recruit of town protection. He did less hero stuff but mostly in roleplay (i.e. fell in love with a half elf woman even though she was engaged to some other NPC, would challenge the people in the tavern to contest and "cheat" with spells, try to haggle, and be the sort of character with a chip on their shoulder), when we went to dungeons he did play along with the party and was a team player.
But last week we returned from a dungeon, we sold stuff, upgraded gear and went to the rooms to discuss clues we found (the party is being watched by an evil group) and to make sure we weren't overheard I opened the locks to the two rooms next to us to make sure they were empty (we knocked first but just to make sure). As I was opening the second room the ranger goes into the first room (I forgot to lock the door back up) and proceeds to go through their stuff and sees the magical sword that we knew belonged to a known NPC/towns person that had been friendly to us on a few occasions so he steals the sword which had an alarm spell on it. We (out of character and in character) were not happy about that, reasoning that petty theft could be a thing but you generally don't steal from the people directly sponsoring you much less their house. I stopped lock picking when ranger went to other room so all that was seen was ranger walking out with magic sword and some other valuables. NPC shows up and tells ranger he will either challenge him to a KO duel or call the constable. Ranger accepts duel, the other guy beats him fairly in town square and for roleplay purposes pantses him (pull down his pants to embarrass him). Well we were already pissed off he went and stole from the people that hire us so we didn't intervene with the duel and played that the characters laughed a bit but then took him back and wash hands of everything. One in game night passed and ranger wakes up in the night and attempts to go after NPC. At this point we the players are angry. He doesn't find the NPC (who is out on watch). Session ends we all are annoyed, ranger says character is immature and doesn't know better. We still point out the character would be smart enough to not "s*it where you eat". Fast forward to yesterday, party got another clue, two in game days passed and before departing for another adventure party RPs an event happening in town, ranger stays behind sulking and when NPC comes home ranger surprised and nearly kills him. Ranger heals the NPC but per house rules anything with high enough additional damage past zero leaves a lasting injury. Ranger tells NPC they are even for embarrassing him. Goliath and I are very upset, saying attempted murder is not even, that its a pretty evil action, and that its just a left turn. Ranger says according to his backstory (approved by the DM) says he was ostracized and grew up as a slave and in savage lands and all sorts of stuff so his honor is important. We still point out that is still out of character and he never showed or shared anything showing importance of honor or any backstory that would support attempted murder = slight embarrassment for theft. DM says there will be consequences and that things happen and to wait and see. But all that happens is the crippled NPC tells the constable and we get fired, thrown out of town and the ranger is banned. At this point Golitah player and I are pissed at this random act suddenly undoing months of roleplay and pending quests. DM saying now the ranger can grow and learn and become a good person, ranger saying he's surprised cause goliaths are more neutral and self serving (even if that player had not played the character that way at all, he played him more like Drax from guardians of the galaxy), and that I as a rogue should be ok with stealing. And that we didn't know the character's background. And so on. Goliath guy says he's out, I followed soon after citing discussions on session zero and the general tone from the last few months and even the last month and a half of the new guy playing. New guy says he is sorry and would re-play his character as only being chaotic outside of cities, and I said no thanks. So we'll see how it shakes out next week but goliath guy and me are out if the ranger is staying.
TL;DR : Theft was witnessed by characters and new guy kept being a di*k even after two sessions worth of being informed to tone it down. New guy also crippled guy he stole from unfairly even after NPC let him go with minimal punishment (slight embarrassment).
Honestly, I've found that the best way to deal with a problem player is to just be honest with them, without being judgemental. All the players I've had with this issue were just not aware of the following fact, and adapted their playstyle once I made them aware.
Sometimes you have to point out that there has to be an unspoken agreement between the players that they will make decisions to help the party.
That means your character has to care about the things the others characters care about, and it's up to you to come up with reasons why your character wants to help the other players succeed.
D&D is collaborative storytelling. Each player needs to be thinking "what could my character to do that will help advance, or add to the story the DM is trying to tell", not just "What would my character do".
If you keep doing things that are completely irrelevant to the story at hand, and trying to create completely new narratives in the middle of the story the DM is trying to tell, it just grinds the game to a halt and throws the DM off.