Look don't get me wrong I love to DM. I am DMing a campaign right now and dmed many in the past. However, does anyone feel my sentiment that it gets annoying not being able to ever be a player. I guess there just isn't many people in my area that play but I am feeling the DM burnout hard and am itching to experience the game as an actual player again. It seems to me everyone in the community wants a DM but never wants to DM in return. I guess I also find it annoying when I finish a campaign and my players want to start again and I ask if any of them would like to DM and suddenly the group is gone because no one will take up the mantle. I get that it is daunting but you will never know if you can do it if you don't try. Am I being over dramatic here?
Not over dramatic. I'm in the same boat as you. Problem is that a lot of people do not want to DM. I've DMd for over 10 years and probably been a player once, for one session, in that time frame. Like you, I love DMing and it is my preferred role, but yes, I would also like to be a player now and again. Heck, even I'd like to be in a long term campaign as the player.
I DM a pen-and-paper tabletop group that meets regularly, every 1-2 weeks.
I also play in an online Roll20 group that meets every 2-3 weeks, to get my "player fix" .
If you're getting "DM burnout" from DM'ing too much, such a strategy would not work - but if you're feeling burned out because you want to play part of the time, and playing sometimes is enough to keep you from getting "DM Burnout", you might try this.
Amusingly, my online DM is one of my pen-and-paper tabletop players :)
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Having similar issues. Although burn out is a bit harsh, after experiencing an actual burn out. I do want to experience D&D as a player as well without having tons of "work" in between sessions and just kick back a bit. Currently running 1 campaign for a group and working on the second for another group. Thankfully two people have expressed interest in doing a one shot, or a small adventure and go from there.
Tried looking for online groups, but so far no luck. They either lack a DM, since apparently we're a rare breed, or they're not in my timezone. As a European player I can't seem to find sufficient players and a DM for online play during the weekdays. So that makes me a bit sad.
I feel you. I DM a pen and paper group that meets weekly, and I absolutely love it, but I've yet to really explore a character as a player yet in this edition, and I'm itching to!
But if it helps you feel any better, I recently got the opportunity to play a one-shot, and spent most of my time wishing I could be DMing... so... grass being greener...
DMs getting to be a player in another DMs game, in my experience, is a sadly rare thing - especially if you don't count the times that someone is willing to give DMing a shot, but for one reason or another the campaign falls apart in its early stages.
I keep a few things that contribute to this being the general case (in my experience at least) in mind as that helps me to not get overly frustrated myself. In no particular order, those things are:
The gaming community contains a larger-than-I-like number of people that put messages like "DMing is hard work" and "to be a DM you must...", which has lead to it being a commonly accepted idea that anyone who is a successful DM has some special trait or talent that (besides simply enjoying being a DM and learning by doing).
New DMs that have been players with a successful DM set unfair standards for themselves. Combined with the above, this results in a lot of DMs that have run only like 1-3 sessions and are comparing those directly to another DM's 4575th-4577th sessions and concluding "I'm not good enough" and being strangely un-receptive to a reassurance that everyone's first few sessions are of similar quality even if it comes from a DM they think is damned good at the task.
Like anything that is fun for someone, it isn't fun for everyone. Just like I don't enjoy playing Cleric characters (I love me some Wizards and some Fighters though), some folks that enjoy being a player at an RPG table don't enjoy the different experience of DMing.
All I can say on the topic is this: Encourage everyone at your table to take a shot at being a DM. Make it know that you'll provide whatever assistance they ask for, but will otherwise be letting them do things their own way no matter how divergent from how you do things it may or may not be. Be open and honest about your desire to not always be the DM, but do your best not to sound like you are having negative feelings toward your players for not taking turns at it (because if they feel like you are "whining" at them or are upset with them over a game, it can reduce the chances that the situation improves). And then, if none of your group are into being DM, you go out everywhere and every way you can looking for someone who is willing to be a DM because there are more people into RPGs than you think there are in your area - we're just a strange sort that rely upon social interaction for our games to function, but insist on maintaining a behavior of keeping our interest secret, waiting for the other person to be the one to bring up RPGs in the silliest catch22 of all time.
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
I think you're right, BK, and that's why I don't feel particularly bad when others in my group aren't rushing to take up the mantle. It's a big deal, and a big job: to prepare for every session, to continually create exciting gameplay on the fly, and to essentially handle the responsibility of everyone having fun - that's not everyone's cup of tea.
I genuinely think anyone can DM, given enough practice and time. But like you say, the role lends itself more to certain people. They have to be bold enough to make decisions that could cause controversy or upset, firm enough to stand by rulings against players looking for conflict, and yet patient enough to guide players through the complicated rules. They've got to be diligent (or organised!) enough to keep track of rules, a party of players, hordes of enemies, groups of NPCs, and a myriad of events, while keeping flexible enough to alter anything at any time.
So why do we do it? I guess for me, perhaps it probably comes down to vanity. That my creation is worth bringing to life, and I consider it good enough to provide enjoyment. I think for all the planning, frustration, time, and everything else that comes with the job, that moment when you look at all your friends, laughing at a situation in the tavern, on the edge of their seat when battling the final encounter, or working together to solve your devilishly clever riddle. That's when it comes together. DMing is often thankless, but that moment when the players sit back at the end of the session with big grins and positive things to say, that's just great.
I started DMing from a young age for this very reason; nobody else wanted to do it! But knowing what it takes for a new DM to take charge, it's a pretty daunting thing as BK and Chequers said before me. A couple in the group I actually manage to play in have tested themselves on oneshots and they've been great. Adventures are another good one. But running a campaign, even one of those adventures, it tough.
I LOVE DMing. As much as I love playing, if a little more. It's fun! I love the challenge, and I'm a writer at heart so I think I'll always treasure the world building and puzzle creation more than the solving. I'm an introvert and I have to say that DMing has helped me MASSIVELY on that front. I still panic and worry that I'm not doing it right or that somehow I haven't thought of this or that. I guess it comes down to whether or not a person can face that or just wants to stay as a player.
It's a sad truth but hopefully, with more people talking about how great it is to DM and how much fun they have, it will encourage. Even if it's sort of a - you DM alongside someone new until they're comfortable and then they do a oneshot or a small campaign that you join in to.
Hopefully you'll find some way to keep playing alongside being DM <3
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hi christopher, i'm siri. i have been playing d&d for over 2 decades and i will not be stopping any time soon. dedicated tabletop gamer, critter, writer and astronomy geek.
I am currently having this discussion with my players. as you, i love being the DM and i love writing huge Campaigns.
Lately i have had the feeling like i would really love to play in a really long campaign myself just one time but none of my players want to DM. Free the DMs
I felt this so hard just over a year ago. I would get burn-out often because I was just always the person who had to DM, and most of the players wouldn't even learn the basic rules, so DMing was also 'rules mastering' for basic stuff, which was exhausting. I started pitching ideas of like, rotating the DM mantle where each week a different person in our group would DM their game so we all got to play 4 games, and only run 1, while only expending one night each week, and encouraging any ideas my players were building of what kind of campaign they would want to make, fostering their itch to try maybe a one-shot, supplying DM materials whenever they mentioned it...
Well, now I (thankfully) have gotten all but 1 of my players to DM. One of them has run a biweekly campaign for a year now, which I love playing in. Another has a biweekly that we're about 6-or-so sessions into which is fun as well. Another just started last week (after running a one-shot in February to see if she could do it) and I'm so ridiculously excited about.
I think that it's a bad idea to approach the problem from "I'm exhausted, DMing is hard, can one of you do it for a bit?" and better to go, "Man, I loved making that encounter for you guys and I loved when this crazy thing happened and I had to make something up on the spot, it's so thrilling to build this story together... Hey, if just so you know if you've ever wanted to run a one-shot, let me know if you want any advice!" Being a positive support system is better than begging for them to throw you a bone-- even if that's how you truly feel (that's how I felt). I'm there for them, I take their cues to help out or to stay out of things, and it's worked three times now... Obviously each group is different, but lots of positivity and making them see DMing as the really fun thing it can be, is more important than trying to make them empathize for you or feel guilty because you're working so hard for them, I learned that the hard way.
Honestly, I LOVE being the DM so much that I do not have this problem. I love being in control and teaching people the game. That being said, I started as a player and loved that as well. I should really try as a player again. Generally, if I am playing it was my suggestion and I am teaching new players. I wish I had more time to play as a whole, DM or player.
It can take a lot to convince someone to step up and it does have a big factor in the full game experience I've found. I love playing and DMing in equal measure with loads of character ideas as well as lots of overall story ideas so happy slotting into either role. I have the luxury in that one of my players really got into the game and wanted to try DMing so I got out my trusty old Lost Mines box and rolled a basic character for it, we got another couple of guys with a bit of experience to join in and saw how she got on as a DM. She took to it like a duck to water and is now running two campaigns simultaneously and gerowing in confidence by the session, it's been a long time since she asked for some advice DM to DM!
However it's not all a happy story in that respect as a couple of sessions into the first game someone who had been DMing a party involving a few other friends of hers decided to join us and asked to play rather than DM for a change so came in as a character. He made no effort to integrate to the party, would argue rules and when he was bored of the character because it didn't fit the group decided to roll a new character with no notification for the DM and proceeded to create an exact clone of one of the existing party members! Thankfully after a players discussion with him and how unfair it was on the newbie DM he decided to leave but I know she came very close to quitting due to the hassle. After the event we'd found that a couple of the other members of that friend circle had wanted to DM and given it a go and not survived more than a session due to the difficulty of working around that same person who "as a much more experienced person when it comes to D&D" could point out errors and cause them doubt, and enough trouble they just gave up. Incidentally I had to tell him a few weeks ago there is such a thing as a disengage action when a player who'd played with me tried to use it and he told them there was no such thing as disengage...
I feel that it's up to us to encourage them and support them every step of the way. If my players want to "grief" me and have a bit of fun seeing what ridiculous tangent we end up taking from whatever the original plan was I am more than happy to run with that, I have done similar in RPGs for friends who were experienced DMs too and they're every bit as fun, but common decency with a new DM is to take things slowly and simply and help them grow in confidence. It can take a lot of courage for someone to have the confidence to take up the DM mantle, we have a social contract to make that journey as easy for them as possible. We expect them to make mistakes while learning, but let the session go as smoothly as possible and enjoy it. If there were mistakes made and the DM consistently isn't sure how to handle a situation then by all means mention it quietly after the session but we need to help them build their confidence and help them get over the first hurdle. We're a funny bunch DMs and not everyone will want to try it, but let's give those who do all the tools and support we can. That way we get to enjoy both sides of the screen!
I think you're right, Lankersson. I've been in a few games where the DM is new to the plate, and the old DM (now a player) gives them a hard time, quibbles every rule, and acts as though they're on some sort of elitist crusade to prove how difficult being a DM is.
It's all very well encouraging our players to step up and try being the DM, but when we're players in their campaign, it's really important to make sure we support them, don't give them a hard time for messing up rules every now and again, or dropping lines like, "well, that's not the way I'D have done it." It's hard to switch off from 'DM Mode' when you're a player. But just as there's good ways of being a DM, there's good ways of being a player too.
I think you're right, Lankersson. I've been in a few games where the DM is new to the plate, and the old DM (now a player) gives them a hard time, quibbles every rule, and acts as though they're on some sort of elitist crusade to prove how difficult being a DM is.
It's all very well encouraging our players to step up and try being the DM, but when we're players in their campaign, it's really important to make sure we support them, don't give them a hard time for messing up rules every now and again, or dropping lines like, "well, that's not the way I'D have done it." It's hard to switch off from 'DM Mode' when you're a player. But just as there's good ways of being a DM, there's good ways of being a player too.
Not only do you get my like, but you also get a quote because this is a very important detail in being a DM that gets to play in some other DM's game - you have to not be an undesirable player.
I'm almost tempted to show this post to a certain someone I know from the internet who always acts like I am out of my mind when I talk about DMs that appear from their behavior to be trying to convince everyone they can that nobody else can be a good enough DM (so they will all have to just accept the power-tripping tomfoolery of the "it's so hard, that's why it's rare, and hoo boy is it so rare you probably couldn't find another DM if you tried" spouting DM, or go entirely without gaming)... but that'd probably just start him hurling flames at me.
I think you're right, Lankersson. I've been in a few games where the DM is new to the plate, and the old DM (now a player) gives them a hard time, quibbles every rule, and acts as though they're on some sort of elitist crusade to prove how difficult being a DM is.
It's all very well encouraging our players to step up and try being the DM, but when we're players in their campaign, it's really important to make sure we support them, don't give them a hard time for messing up rules every now and again, or dropping lines like, "well, that's not the way I'D have done it." It's hard to switch off from 'DM Mode' when you're a player. But just as there's good ways of being a DM, there's good ways of being a player too.
I believe this has some truth to it. Some people just don't like to give up the "power". Granted, I'd like to assume, or believe, that most DMs would not act as such, since they know what it's like on that side of the table. A lot of it probably also has to do with the view one takes when playing. I see myself, when I DM, as part of a team with the players. I'm just there to help facilitate a story for/with them and adjudicate actions. When they succeed and are happy, so am I. That really should be the goal for any DM and its something aspiring DMs should look to do. If you are able to provide enjoyment for your players then you're doing great. I certainly encourage more people to DM. As a DM I approve any movement to get more people to be a dungeon master. Also for anyone trying to be a DM, don't be afraid to ask your players for help or ideas (as well as other DMs). Dungeons and Dragons is a collaborative effort.
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It's more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules
Granted, I'd like to assume, or believe, that most DMs would not act as such, since they know what it's like on that side of the table. ... Dungeons and Dragons is a collaborative effort.
These are beliefs that I hold as well - though I do have to add that I feel that the "typical" DM taking on these beliefs, rather than beliefs along the lines of "my way or the highway" and "this game is meant to be players VS. DM" and the others discussed above, is a modern condition that differs greatly from the previous norm. I also think it is the die-hard hold-outs of that bygone era of downright antagonistic DM-player social dynamics that are the vocal sources of various forms of new-DM discouragement (I presume they simply fear the extinction in store for them if the players at their table realize they can have a different experience while playing with a different DM).
I also would love to play as a player, but alas the two games that came up for me that allowed me to be a player ended after only a few sessions each due to the DMs not feeling like continuing. Always a DM, never a player I guess :(
As far as some of the "former DM wanting to keep power", I've seen it for sure. Having seen it, I try really hard to not do things that might be construed that way as a player. If I have a quibble with a rule, I'll bring it up later if possible or pose it as a question instead if it would cause a big problem with the game play. The point of D&D to me is for everyone to have fun, not for the DM to beat the bejeezus out of the characters or somehow "win" by forcing a TPK.
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Look don't get me wrong I love to DM. I am DMing a campaign right now and dmed many in the past. However, does anyone feel my sentiment that it gets annoying not being able to ever be a player. I guess there just isn't many people in my area that play but I am feeling the DM burnout hard and am itching to experience the game as an actual player again. It seems to me everyone in the community wants a DM but never wants to DM in return. I guess I also find it annoying when I finish a campaign and my players want to start again and I ask if any of them would like to DM and suddenly the group is gone because no one will take up the mantle. I get that it is daunting but you will never know if you can do it if you don't try. Am I being over dramatic here?
Not over dramatic. I'm in the same boat as you. Problem is that a lot of people do not want to DM. I've DMd for over 10 years and probably been a player once, for one session, in that time frame. Like you, I love DMing and it is my preferred role, but yes, I would also like to be a player now and again. Heck, even I'd like to be in a long term campaign as the player.
It's more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules
Follow my Campaign!
Ardanian Calendar
I DM a pen-and-paper tabletop group that meets regularly, every 1-2 weeks.
I also play in an online Roll20 group that meets every 2-3 weeks, to get my "player fix" .
If you're getting "DM burnout" from DM'ing too much, such a strategy would not work - but if you're feeling burned out because you want to play part of the time, and playing sometimes is enough to keep you from getting "DM Burnout", you might try this.
Amusingly, my online DM is one of my pen-and-paper tabletop players :)
My DM Philosophy, as summed up by other people: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rN5w4-azTq3Kbn0Yvk9nfqQhwQ1R5by1/view
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
Having similar issues. Although burn out is a bit harsh, after experiencing an actual burn out. I do want to experience D&D as a player as well without having tons of "work" in between sessions and just kick back a bit. Currently running 1 campaign for a group and working on the second for another group. Thankfully two people have expressed interest in doing a one shot, or a small adventure and go from there.
Tried looking for online groups, but so far no luck. They either lack a DM, since apparently we're a rare breed, or they're not in my timezone. As a European player I can't seem to find sufficient players and a DM for online play during the weekdays. So that makes me a bit sad.
I feel you. I DM a pen and paper group that meets weekly, and I absolutely love it, but I've yet to really explore a character as a player yet in this edition, and I'm itching to!
But if it helps you feel any better, I recently got the opportunity to play a one-shot, and spent most of my time wishing I could be DMing... so... grass being greener...
DMs getting to be a player in another DMs game, in my experience, is a sadly rare thing - especially if you don't count the times that someone is willing to give DMing a shot, but for one reason or another the campaign falls apart in its early stages.
I keep a few things that contribute to this being the general case (in my experience at least) in mind as that helps me to not get overly frustrated myself. In no particular order, those things are:
All I can say on the topic is this: Encourage everyone at your table to take a shot at being a DM. Make it know that you'll provide whatever assistance they ask for, but will otherwise be letting them do things their own way no matter how divergent from how you do things it may or may not be. Be open and honest about your desire to not always be the DM, but do your best not to sound like you are having negative feelings toward your players for not taking turns at it (because if they feel like you are "whining" at them or are upset with them over a game, it can reduce the chances that the situation improves). And then, if none of your group are into being DM, you go out everywhere and every way you can looking for someone who is willing to be a DM because there are more people into RPGs than you think there are in your area - we're just a strange sort that rely upon social interaction for our games to function, but insist on maintaining a behavior of keeping our interest secret, waiting for the other person to be the one to bring up RPGs in the silliest catch22 of all time.
Heh - how about a "DM Support Group"?
All the DMs who want to play form groups of 6? Once every 6 sessions you have to host a one-shot session, but other than that, you get to play? :)
My DM Philosophy, as summed up by other people: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rN5w4-azTq3Kbn0Yvk9nfqQhwQ1R5by1/view
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
I think you're right, BK, and that's why I don't feel particularly bad when others in my group aren't rushing to take up the mantle. It's a big deal, and a big job: to prepare for every session, to continually create exciting gameplay on the fly, and to essentially handle the responsibility of everyone having fun - that's not everyone's cup of tea.
I genuinely think anyone can DM, given enough practice and time. But like you say, the role lends itself more to certain people. They have to be bold enough to make decisions that could cause controversy or upset, firm enough to stand by rulings against players looking for conflict, and yet patient enough to guide players through the complicated rules. They've got to be diligent (or organised!) enough to keep track of rules, a party of players, hordes of enemies, groups of NPCs, and a myriad of events, while keeping flexible enough to alter anything at any time.
So why do we do it? I guess for me, perhaps it probably comes down to vanity. That my creation is worth bringing to life, and I consider it good enough to provide enjoyment. I think for all the planning, frustration, time, and everything else that comes with the job, that moment when you look at all your friends, laughing at a situation in the tavern, on the edge of their seat when battling the final encounter, or working together to solve your devilishly clever riddle. That's when it comes together. DMing is often thankless, but that moment when the players sit back at the end of the session with big grins and positive things to say, that's just great.
I started DMing from a young age for this very reason; nobody else wanted to do it! But knowing what it takes for a new DM to take charge, it's a pretty daunting thing as BK and Chequers said before me. A couple in the group I actually manage to play in have tested themselves on oneshots and they've been great. Adventures are another good one. But running a campaign, even one of those adventures, it tough.
I LOVE DMing. As much as I love playing, if a little more. It's fun! I love the challenge, and I'm a writer at heart so I think I'll always treasure the world building and puzzle creation more than the solving. I'm an introvert and I have to say that DMing has helped me MASSIVELY on that front. I still panic and worry that I'm not doing it right or that somehow I haven't thought of this or that. I guess it comes down to whether or not a person can face that or just wants to stay as a player.
It's a sad truth but hopefully, with more people talking about how great it is to DM and how much fun they have, it will encourage. Even if it's sort of a - you DM alongside someone new until they're comfortable and then they do a oneshot or a small campaign that you join in to.
Hopefully you'll find some way to keep playing alongside being DM <3
hi christopher, i'm siri. i have been playing d&d for over 2 decades and i will not be stopping any time soon. dedicated tabletop gamer, critter, writer and astronomy geek.
I am currently having this discussion with my players. as you, i love being the DM and i love writing huge Campaigns.
Lately i have had the feeling like i would really love to play in a really long campaign myself just one time but none of my players want to DM. Free the DMs
Free the DMs
I felt this so hard just over a year ago. I would get burn-out often because I was just always the person who had to DM, and most of the players wouldn't even learn the basic rules, so DMing was also 'rules mastering' for basic stuff, which was exhausting. I started pitching ideas of like, rotating the DM mantle where each week a different person in our group would DM their game so we all got to play 4 games, and only run 1, while only expending one night each week, and encouraging any ideas my players were building of what kind of campaign they would want to make, fostering their itch to try maybe a one-shot, supplying DM materials whenever they mentioned it...
Well, now I (thankfully) have gotten all but 1 of my players to DM. One of them has run a biweekly campaign for a year now, which I love playing in. Another has a biweekly that we're about 6-or-so sessions into which is fun as well. Another just started last week (after running a one-shot in February to see if she could do it) and I'm so ridiculously excited about.
I think that it's a bad idea to approach the problem from "I'm exhausted, DMing is hard, can one of you do it for a bit?" and better to go, "Man, I loved making that encounter for you guys and I loved when this crazy thing happened and I had to make something up on the spot, it's so thrilling to build this story together... Hey, if just so you know if you've ever wanted to run a one-shot, let me know if you want any advice!" Being a positive support system is better than begging for them to throw you a bone-- even if that's how you truly feel (that's how I felt). I'm there for them, I take their cues to help out or to stay out of things, and it's worked three times now... Obviously each group is different, but lots of positivity and making them see DMing as the really fun thing it can be, is more important than trying to make them empathize for you or feel guilty because you're working so hard for them, I learned that the hard way.
Honestly, I LOVE being the DM so much that I do not have this problem. I love being in control and teaching people the game. That being said, I started as a player and loved that as well. I should really try as a player again. Generally, if I am playing it was my suggestion and I am teaching new players. I wish I had more time to play as a whole, DM or player.
"Shadow Hide You..."
It can take a lot to convince someone to step up and it does have a big factor in the full game experience I've found. I love playing and DMing in equal measure with loads of character ideas as well as lots of overall story ideas so happy slotting into either role. I have the luxury in that one of my players really got into the game and wanted to try DMing so I got out my trusty old Lost Mines box and rolled a basic character for it, we got another couple of guys with a bit of experience to join in and saw how she got on as a DM. She took to it like a duck to water and is now running two campaigns simultaneously and gerowing in confidence by the session, it's been a long time since she asked for some advice DM to DM!
However it's not all a happy story in that respect as a couple of sessions into the first game someone who had been DMing a party involving a few other friends of hers decided to join us and asked to play rather than DM for a change so came in as a character. He made no effort to integrate to the party, would argue rules and when he was bored of the character because it didn't fit the group decided to roll a new character with no notification for the DM and proceeded to create an exact clone of one of the existing party members! Thankfully after a players discussion with him and how unfair it was on the newbie DM he decided to leave but I know she came very close to quitting due to the hassle. After the event we'd found that a couple of the other members of that friend circle had wanted to DM and given it a go and not survived more than a session due to the difficulty of working around that same person who "as a much more experienced person when it comes to D&D" could point out errors and cause them doubt, and enough trouble they just gave up. Incidentally I had to tell him a few weeks ago there is such a thing as a disengage action when a player who'd played with me tried to use it and he told them there was no such thing as disengage...
I feel that it's up to us to encourage them and support them every step of the way. If my players want to "grief" me and have a bit of fun seeing what ridiculous tangent we end up taking from whatever the original plan was I am more than happy to run with that, I have done similar in RPGs for friends who were experienced DMs too and they're every bit as fun, but common decency with a new DM is to take things slowly and simply and help them grow in confidence. It can take a lot of courage for someone to have the confidence to take up the DM mantle, we have a social contract to make that journey as easy for them as possible. We expect them to make mistakes while learning, but let the session go as smoothly as possible and enjoy it. If there were mistakes made and the DM consistently isn't sure how to handle a situation then by all means mention it quietly after the session but we need to help them build their confidence and help them get over the first hurdle. We're a funny bunch DMs and not everyone will want to try it, but let's give those who do all the tools and support we can. That way we get to enjoy both sides of the screen!
I think you're right, Lankersson. I've been in a few games where the DM is new to the plate, and the old DM (now a player) gives them a hard time, quibbles every rule, and acts as though they're on some sort of elitist crusade to prove how difficult being a DM is.
It's all very well encouraging our players to step up and try being the DM, but when we're players in their campaign, it's really important to make sure we support them, don't give them a hard time for messing up rules every now and again, or dropping lines like, "well, that's not the way I'D have done it." It's hard to switch off from 'DM Mode' when you're a player. But just as there's good ways of being a DM, there's good ways of being a player too.
Not only do you get my like, but you also get a quote because this is a very important detail in being a DM that gets to play in some other DM's game - you have to not be an undesirable player.
I'm almost tempted to show this post to a certain someone I know from the internet who always acts like I am out of my mind when I talk about DMs that appear from their behavior to be trying to convince everyone they can that nobody else can be a good enough DM (so they will all have to just accept the power-tripping tomfoolery of the "it's so hard, that's why it's rare, and hoo boy is it so rare you probably couldn't find another DM if you tried" spouting DM, or go entirely without gaming)... but that'd probably just start him hurling flames at me.
I believe this has some truth to it. Some people just don't like to give up the "power". Granted, I'd like to assume, or believe, that most DMs would not act as such, since they know what it's like on that side of the table. A lot of it probably also has to do with the view one takes when playing. I see myself, when I DM, as part of a team with the players. I'm just there to help facilitate a story for/with them and adjudicate actions. When they succeed and are happy, so am I. That really should be the goal for any DM and its something aspiring DMs should look to do. If you are able to provide enjoyment for your players then you're doing great. I certainly encourage more people to DM. As a DM I approve any movement to get more people to be a dungeon master. Also for anyone trying to be a DM, don't be afraid to ask your players for help or ideas (as well as other DMs). Dungeons and Dragons is a collaborative effort.
It's more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules
Follow my Campaign!
Ardanian Calendar
These are beliefs that I hold as well - though I do have to add that I feel that the "typical" DM taking on these beliefs, rather than beliefs along the lines of "my way or the highway" and "this game is meant to be players VS. DM" and the others discussed above, is a modern condition that differs greatly from the previous norm. I also think it is the die-hard hold-outs of that bygone era of downright antagonistic DM-player social dynamics that are the vocal sources of various forms of new-DM discouragement (I presume they simply fear the extinction in store for them if the players at their table realize they can have a different experience while playing with a different DM).
I also would love to play as a player, but alas the two games that came up for me that allowed me to be a player ended after only a few sessions each due to the DMs not feeling like continuing. Always a DM, never a player I guess :(
As far as some of the "former DM wanting to keep power", I've seen it for sure. Having seen it, I try really hard to not do things that might be construed that way as a player. If I have a quibble with a rule, I'll bring it up later if possible or pose it as a question instead if it would cause a big problem with the game play. The point of D&D to me is for everyone to have fun, not for the DM to beat the bejeezus out of the characters or somehow "win" by forcing a TPK.