I have been creating a race for a while, and would like some feedback on it. :) My DM's love the idea of it so I figured I would throw it out there. :)
If you like this, please thumbs up it so that I know I did well. THANK YOU! :)
I took quite a bit of time on this, so please don't claim this as your own. Thank you.
Nephalem
Spawn of the cross breeding between Angel and Demon, the Nephalem is a creature of unique power. Made in the image of Human Mortals and due to their abnormal origins, the Nephalem are cast away to live among these mortals, hiding in plain sight. Rarest of all the races, Nephalem are considered to be a myth, spoken about only in the oldest of books and fabled stories. Orphaned and alone, many Nephalem do not realize their hidden potential throughout their long lives. They only believe themselves to be healthier, stronger and live longer than their counterparts due to the luck of the draw.
Superiority To Counterparts
Brought up in the world by humans they follow their lesser, giving a helping hand when they can. Similar to Humans, the Nephalem are Physically diverse, but superior to Humans in every aspect. Due to the supernatural blood coursing through them, the Nephalem body is stronger and faster than the Humans they know so well. They can out pace them with ease and lift almost twice as much. A Nephalem can range from 6 feet to 7 feet tall on average and weigh 225 to 300 pounds consisting mostly of pure muscle. Nephalem skin shades range from nearly black to to very pale, but unlike their human counterparts, in the right lighting it is said that you can see an aura of midnight blue to blood red around them. Their hair color ranges from black to pure white; males might also sport facial hair that is sparse or thick. Nephalem reach adulthood in their early teens and often live over a century.
Nothing To Leave Behind
Nephalem, like Humans, are extremely adaptable. Due to living around and being raised by humans, they too are ambitious people having widely varying tastes, morals, and customs similar to Humans. What sets them apart is that Nephalem are a steril race. Because of this flaw in their genes, Nephalem have the urge to leave a successful mark on the land having their names told about in story. They do not settle in place for long, constantly moving from location to location. This makes the Nephalem suited for the adventuring life so that their names can stand out in time.
Everyone Knows Your Different
Just like the Humans who raised them, Nephalem are able to mingle with almost every race. They create friends easily in all their travels and have a natural ability to memorize almost anything they seen or heard instantly (Locations, Names, Structures, Writing, Symbols, etc). Nephalem serve as ambassadors, diplomats, magistrates, merchants and functionaries of all kinds like their lesser counterparts. Unlike the Humans, almost every race seem to know a difference in the Nephalem. A powerful feeling comes over the other races which seems to be in the benefit of the Nephalem most of the time.
Nephalem Traits:
Being raised by Humans, in their image, made the Nephalem extremely versatile.
Ability Score Increase
Nephalem Versatility:
You have 4 points to spend in any ability with the maximum of 2 in any one ability.
Age:
Nephalem reach adulthood in their late teens and often live over a century.
Alignment:
Nephalem have demonic and angelic blood running through their veins, because of this a Nephalem does not have an innate tendency to choose a side in the war between good and evil, rather they sway between each extreme till their mid 20’s.
Size:
Nephalem range from 6 to 7 feet tall, weighing around 225 to 300 pounds mostly consisting of pure muscle. Regardless of your position, your size is Medium.
Speed:
Your base walking speed is 35 feet.
Nephalem Vision:
Thanks to your Angelic and Demonic blood, you have superior vision in length as well as in the Dark and Dim Conditions. Can you see in dim light as if it were bright light within 120 feet of you, and you can see in darkness as if it were dim light within 120 feet if you.
Nephalem Skin:
You have resistance to Radiant and Necrotic Damage.
Languages:
You can Speak, read, and write Common, Infernal and Celestial.
Edit 1:
To change name from Nephilim to Nephalem
To correct grammar in name Nephalems to Nephalem (Does not need to be plural)
Added a few sentences to "Superiority To Counterparts" to explain more why they are superior like AaronOfBarbaria stated.
Changed "Languages" to allow race to be able to learn more languages in the future instead of locking it at "Common, Infernal and Celestial"
Definitely not balanced, though not necessarily overpowered.
The features are mechanically potent, but sort of bland (by which I mean they don't really say anything about the race - like how Stonecunning says something about dwarves living in/around stone, or the cantrip gained by High Elves says something about their natural affinity for and cultural appreciation of magic).
Now for piece by piece comments:
Ability Score Increase: Being more versatile than the cannon race that is meant to be the peak of versatility (human) is not great. I'd suggest going half-elf style and locking in some of the ability score adjustments, or show this race's extreme versatility by having the same ability modifiers as the variant human race (two +1s to put where you please).
Speed: Why are they as fast as wood elves? I'm not saying they can't be, but I have no idea why they are upon reading the write-up. It looks like they are supposed to be just-plain-better than humans, and that's not really an interesting reason for anything.
Nephilim Vision: First, I'm pretty sure that nephilim is one of those words like fish - you don't change the spelling to make it plural. Second, the feature you describe is already has a name. It's Superior Darkvision.
Nephilim Skin: No problems with this feature, but it does raise a question - why make this nephilim race, conceptually, instead of using the already existent and so very similarly conceptualized Aasimar?
Languages: Knowing extra languages to start compared to other races is an extremely minor feature. It is not at all worth it to prevent the race learning other languages, for mechanical or story-driven reasons.
Picture this as Nephilim 1.0 There is a lot more detail that will be involved but I need to write it still. I wanted to hear the public's opinion about it before writing more. I am extremely excited that this is the first ever race I made (for I am fairly new to DnD) and excited to refine it and who knows, maybe other people will end up wanting to use it also.
I am going to take everything you said into account and make sure to refine it soon, then I will upload it one more time and see what you think, THANK YOU SO MUCH AaronOfBarbaria! Any help is appreciated.
Definitely not balanced, though not necessarily overpowered.
The features are mechanically potent, but sort of bland (by which I mean they don't really say anything about the race - like how Stonecunning says something about dwarves living in/around stone, or the cantrip gained by High Elves says something about their natural affinity for and cultural appreciation of magic).
Now for piece by piece comments:
Ability Score Increase: Being more versatile than the cannon race that is meant to be the peak of versatility (human) is not great. I'd suggest going half-elf style and locking in some of the ability score adjustments, or show this race's extreme versatility by having the same ability modifiers as the variant human race (two +1s to put where you please).
Speed: Why are they as fast as wood elves? I'm not saying they can't be, but I have no idea why they are upon reading the write-up. It looks like they are supposed to be just-plain-better than humans, and that's not really an interesting reason for anything.
Nephilim Vision: First, I'm pretty sure that nephilim is one of those words like fish - you don't change the spelling to make it plural. Second, the feature you describe is already has a name. It's Superior Darkvision.
Nephilim Skin: No problems with this feature, but it does raise a question - why make this nephilim race, conceptually, instead of using the already existent and so very similarly conceptualized Aasimar?
Languages: Knowing extra languages to start compared to other races is an extremely minor feature. It is not at all worth it to prevent the race learning other languages, for mechanical or story-driven reasons.
That I still don't quite get why this new race is being made when there are already Aasimar which fill most of the same conceptual space (except for one part, really), and that "they are just better than" is a boring conceptual space to build a race in.
You've still got a race that is both unbalanced because it has too potent of features (that the other race that effectively gets +2 to two ability scores has both locked down and one of them isn't of much relevance to a large variety of classes should be a clue how to make having two +2s not overly good), while simultaneously not having enough features.
I'd definitely consider going with the two +1 of choice for Ability scores (rather than the +4. I see what you're trying to go for, but it definitely falls into a "they're just better than humans because" place, and it's not good), delve into a story reason for the speed (or lose it) and consider adding a low system impact, but high flavor feature. Something along the lines of an Eladrin's Misty Step. Something that can be used once a rest that SCREAMS the flavor of the race. Something otherworldly, but not game-breaking...
I have been creating a race for a while, and would like some feedback on it. :)
My DM's love the idea of it so I figured I would throw it out there. :)
If you like this, please thumbs up it so that I know I did well. THANK YOU! :)
I took quite a bit of time on this, so please don't claim this as your own. Thank you.
Nephalem
Spawn of the cross breeding between Angel and Demon, the Nephalem is a creature of unique power. Made in the image of Human Mortals and due to their abnormal origins, the Nephalem are cast away to live among these mortals, hiding in plain sight. Rarest of all the races, Nephalem are considered to be a myth, spoken about only in the oldest of books and fabled stories. Orphaned and alone, many Nephalem do not realize their hidden potential throughout their long lives. They only believe themselves to be healthier, stronger and live longer than their counterparts due to the luck of the draw.
Superiority To Counterparts
Brought up in the world by humans they follow their lesser, giving a helping hand when they can. Similar to Humans, the Nephalem are Physically diverse, but superior to Humans in every aspect. Due to the supernatural blood coursing through them, the Nephalem body is stronger and faster than the Humans they know so well. They can out pace them with ease and lift almost twice as much. A Nephalem can range from 6 feet to 7 feet tall on average and weigh 225 to 300 pounds consisting mostly of pure muscle. Nephalem skin shades range from nearly black to to very pale, but unlike their human counterparts, in the right lighting it is said that you can see an aura of midnight blue to blood red around them. Their hair color ranges from black to pure white; males might also sport facial hair that is sparse or thick. Nephalem reach adulthood in their early teens and often live over a century.
Nothing To Leave Behind
Nephalem, like Humans, are extremely adaptable. Due to living around and being raised by humans, they too are ambitious people having widely varying tastes, morals, and customs similar to Humans. What sets them apart is that Nephalem are a steril race. Because of this flaw in their genes, Nephalem have the urge to leave a successful mark on the land having their names told about in story. They do not settle in place for long, constantly moving from location to location. This makes the Nephalem suited for the adventuring life so that their names can stand out in time.
Everyone Knows Your Different
Just like the Humans who raised them, Nephalem are able to mingle with almost every race. They create friends easily in all their travels and have a natural ability to memorize almost anything they seen or heard instantly (Locations, Names, Structures, Writing, Symbols, etc). Nephalem serve as ambassadors, diplomats, magistrates, merchants and functionaries of all kinds like their lesser counterparts. Unlike the Humans, almost every race seem to know a difference in the Nephalem. A powerful feeling comes over the other races which seems to be in the benefit of the Nephalem most of the time.
Nephalem Traits:
Being raised by Humans, in their image, made the Nephalem extremely versatile.
Ability Score Increase
Nephalem Versatility:
You have 4 points to spend in any ability with the maximum of 2 in any one ability.
Age:
Nephalem reach adulthood in their late teens and often live over a century.
Alignment:
Nephalem have demonic and angelic blood running through their veins, because of this a Nephalem does not have an innate tendency to choose a side in the war between good and evil, rather they sway between each extreme till their mid 20’s.
Size:
Nephalem range from 6 to 7 feet tall, weighing around 225 to 300 pounds mostly consisting of pure muscle. Regardless of your position, your size is Medium.
Speed:
Your base walking speed is 35 feet.
Nephalem Vision:
Thanks to your Angelic and Demonic blood, you have superior vision in length as well as in the Dark and Dim Conditions. Can you see in dim light as if it were bright light within 120 feet of you, and you can see in darkness as if it were dim light within 120 feet if you.
Nephalem Skin:
You have resistance to Radiant and Necrotic Damage.
Languages:
You can Speak, read, and write Common, Infernal and Celestial.
Edit 1:
Definitely not balanced, though not necessarily overpowered.
The features are mechanically potent, but sort of bland (by which I mean they don't really say anything about the race - like how Stonecunning says something about dwarves living in/around stone, or the cantrip gained by High Elves says something about their natural affinity for and cultural appreciation of magic).
Now for piece by piece comments:
Ability Score Increase: Being more versatile than the cannon race that is meant to be the peak of versatility (human) is not great. I'd suggest going half-elf style and locking in some of the ability score adjustments, or show this race's extreme versatility by having the same ability modifiers as the variant human race (two +1s to put where you please).
Speed: Why are they as fast as wood elves? I'm not saying they can't be, but I have no idea why they are upon reading the write-up. It looks like they are supposed to be just-plain-better than humans, and that's not really an interesting reason for anything.
Nephilim Vision: First, I'm pretty sure that nephilim is one of those words like fish - you don't change the spelling to make it plural. Second, the feature you describe is already has a name. It's Superior Darkvision.
Nephilim Skin: No problems with this feature, but it does raise a question - why make this nephilim race, conceptually, instead of using the already existent and so very similarly conceptualized Aasimar?
Languages: Knowing extra languages to start compared to other races is an extremely minor feature. It is not at all worth it to prevent the race learning other languages, for mechanical or story-driven reasons.
This was the feedback I was waiting for!
Picture this as Nephilim 1.0
There is a lot more detail that will be involved but I need to write it still. I wanted to hear the public's opinion about it before writing more. I am extremely excited that this is the first ever race I made (for I am fairly new to DnD) and excited to refine it and who knows, maybe other people will end up wanting to use it also.
I am going to take everything you said into account and make sure to refine it soon, then I will upload it one more time and see what you think,
THANK YOU SO MUCH AaronOfBarbaria! Any help is appreciated.
I'd definitely consider going with the two +1 of choice for Ability scores (rather than the +4. I see what you're trying to go for, but it definitely falls into a "they're just better than humans because" place, and it's not good), delve into a story reason for the speed (or lose it) and consider adding a low system impact, but high flavor feature. Something along the lines of an Eladrin's Misty Step. Something that can be used once a rest that SCREAMS the flavor of the race. Something otherworldly, but not game-breaking...
I make stuff on DMs Guild, DriveThruRPG, & Storytellers Vault. I stream things on Twitch.