Pizazz's Ravenloft and Beyond

     Ketch spits, stomps his foot and grips the thighbone weapon he recently acquired very tightly.

     “What, if you were a kind, omniscient, helpful diety, who wanted to assist us in our endeavors and educate us to the fullest extent possible, would you say if we asked you to reveal to us everything that this skull/ being/ entity/ magical whatever it may be knows about the castle, strahd, life, love, dietary needs of mammals and all other arcane, mundane, interesting, boring and known by it knowledge, information, facts, rumors or extrapolations...?” Ketch asks, with a growl.

The skulls pauses.  The skull seems to chew on this for a while.  "IF I was...a kind...right...who wanted to assist.....what would I say if you asked me to ...reveal...blah blah blah. Hmmmm.  I'm sorry I don't understand the question. But I think I get where you're going, so let me tell you some secrets of the castle that I know. First of all, if you go to the highest spire, and onto it's roof, the tippy top part, there's a rod there, that has captured hundreds of years of lightning strikes. It's been imbued with such power that a single strike through Strahd's heart will kill him outright. THAT is really what you wanted to know, am I right? I guess you probably also want to know not to go near that southern crypt, it's Strahd's, and empty, and contains nothing of value, but also if you go near the top of the stairs you'll get teleported somewhere else.  Into an oubliette, a lost place where from which there is no return!  I think that was a fair response to your rather metaphysical and dare I say very theoretical and meta sort of question. Finally, watch out for the spiders in the nearby crypt. Oh, and the also, there's a secret door in Strahd's study. I think you pull a book?  I can't remember. Oh, and I must say, in the master bedroom, if you push the bed aside, it will reveal a false floor that holds Strahd's real sleeping place. If you get him there during the day he'll be easy pickings I bet."

"Surprisingly helpful." Even if half of it was a lie (and some definitely was nonsense or a late warnings) there was something to at least consider. "Can you talk if taken outside your crypt? Might be pretty boring to stay here for years. We could take you with us." Lionel was surprised by his sudden question - and supposed act of compassion - himself, he probably was getting used to Meepo's companions so much so, that seen one (relatively) sane and talking forced paladin to polite conversation. 

"Surprising!  SUPRISING!  I am Stefan Gregorovich: First Counselor to King Barov van Zarovich!  There is nothing surprising about it!  I am done answering your questions!  Begone!!"  

     Ketch steps up, grabs the skull and then sticks it in a sack.  “Done talking to us or not, I’m not leaving him there to talk to anyone else,” ketch explains and ties the sack to his belt.

     “So, who wants to crawl to the top and get the lightning rod?”

From within Ketch's bag he here's the muffled voice continuing...."mmwweyy....mwaddya phwink yuuur mmmoinnn!!  mmmimmme mmwwefanmm mmreogvishhh mmirmmft mmounselor...mmmm..."  

The sound continues in a non-stop litany of muffled speech.

"Tempting, but don't we have a couple more crypts to break in first? Which one is magical again?" Lionel walked to the closest "magical" and tried the door.

((We're at 25, we'll go to 26 next... it's actually the one I meant to go to, but typed and just went with it...))

     Ketch gives the sack a shake and mutters loudly "Shuddup unless you want to be crushed and sprinkled over a lepers cornflakes as seasoning!" Ketch then steps over to the next crypt in which he detected magic within.

     "There is necromancy magic within here...  Perhaps I don't knock this time..."

There's one final, "mmmuffff yoummm anmmmm yurrr mummmuffffmum thmmmm".  Then it's quiet. 

You walk to the next crypt. "Intree Sik-Valoo: He spurned wealth for the knowledge he could take to heaven".  Ketch pushes it open.  A skeleton draped in rags lies atop a marble slab in the center of the crypt. Most of the bones appear dusty and neglected, but the skull is well polished.  Ketch scratches his head, checks the engraving up top.  Then he goes and checks 25...and then comes back.  Yup, pretty much a duplicate of the last one.

The polished skull sits there invitingly. 

     Ketch closes the door and turns to the rest of the party.  "This seems to be a pattern.  Perhaps one of you should ask the questions.  Maybe ask it to recite all knowledge it has to us, in the common language, at a normal rate of speech, starting with the most recent information he learned and going back to it's birth...  Or, you know, maybe how this castle has a crypt, a jail, etc etc etc and not one freaking water closet."

“Meepo think time leave...” Meepo says with a glance to the others.  “Any doors wish check first?”  He asks, wanting to get them moving along towards leaving this place.  “Did find skull wanted?” He asks, eyeing the bag at one of the big’s side.  “Was that skull came for?”

(Mordekai had been checking out the inscriptions on all the other crypts)

"hrmpfh ulthan look for picklewidth tomb hrmpfh" as he walks around.

Mordekai and Ulthan wander around looking for the rest of the unchecked inscriptions: 

(May be a few repeats...)

Crypt 5 : Artank Swilovich: Friend and member of the Barovian Wine Distillers Guild.

Crypt 7 : The stone door of this crypt lies on the floor, its inscrip­ tion obscured by fog. The crypt gapes open. A skull, some bones, and a few bits of rusted armor lie atop a marble slab with a leering stone gargoyle squatting at each end.

Crypt 8 : Duchess Dorfniya Dilisnya

Crypt 9 : Pidlwick - Fool of Dorfniya

Crypt 11 : Tasha Petrovna - Healer ofKings, Light unto the West, Servant, Companion

Crypt 12 : King Troisky- The Three-Faced King

Crypt 13 : King Katsky (Katsky the Bright): Ruler, inventor, and self-proclaimed time traveler

Crypt 14 : Stahbal Indi-Bhak: A truer friend no ruler ever had. Here lies his family in honor.

Crypt 15 : Khazan: His word was power

Crypt 16 : Elsa Fallona von Twitterberg (Beloved Actor): She had many followers

Crypt 19 : Artimus (Builder of the Keep): Thou standest amidst the monument to his life

(I think that's all of them)

Mordekai will point out Pidlwick in crypt 9, and then try to open the door to crypt 11.

Mordekai points to Pidlwick's crypt, "Hey everyone, it's over there...."  then....while they're distracted, cleverly sneaks over to another, much more valuable crypt.  They don't notice.  Ever the deceptive one, as his own crypt's epithet said, he opens the door to crypt 11.  A skeleton wearing tattered priestly vestments lies atop a marble slab in the center of the crypt. The domed ceiling overhead is painted with a glorious sun mural. Draped around the neck of the skeleton is a sun-shaped holy symbol. 

(lol I didn't intend that to be sneaky. I actually edited in pointing out Pidlwick without thinking how it would affect how the sentence scanned, because I realised Mordekai needed to pass the information on, but I see how it now reads and Mordekai would be amused to do that)

"Lionel, what do you make of this? Is this the same symbol?"

"You found it, Ulthan. Or at least Moedekai did." Lionel was about to open up the door to the court-jester crypt when he heard tiefling's call. "Another sun-symbol? The one we were looking for was supposed to be with Strahd's mother and that was definitely the big crypt Meepo was examining. Good thing we did not came here first, or we could take the false symbol for the real one. Could you compare both?"

(Mordekai is keeping Raven amulet right now)

"I could compare them, but maybe we shouldn't have one person have both - wouldn't want them to get mixed up.  Which would you like to hold on to?"  (I don't think one person could identify both in a single short rest, so dividing them up makes sense?  Mordekai has no strong feelings which to take, so happy for Lionel to take the "real" one if you like)

Unable to restrain himself any longer, Meepo starts looking through the already-opened crypts to see if there is any lost items left laying around in them.