laid back apocalypse

Just as Bhawke was going to chow down on a juicy piece of meat, the table is flipped over, causing him to drop the piece to the floor out of shock. He looks dejectedly down to the piece of meat. Why do bad things happen to good bears?

His gaze then flickers over to the table flipper and Xalkas then to Jolliver, getting up on his hind legs and letting out a loud irritated roar. He didn't want to attack yet, wanting to see if this was his doing or maybe it was just an extremely poor 'initiation' attempt or maybe the start of one of my Japanese animes.

If Jollyboy talks, here's an insight check (seeing if he's being honest/malicious/etc): 11

T'chal'fronack'zcinicker leans back from the flipped table in shock as food and dishes fly everywhere.  The look of shock remains on his face as he looks to Jolliver and says, with incredulity in his voice, "PEER reviews?!?  Why don't you just make performance a popularity contest!" 

At Hawke’s musings of being a well behaved bear, Ebele would give him pats of reassurance and play with his fur. About to share food from her plate, the monk’s ears would perk from Xalkas’ squeak nearby, but before she could process his words, Kerric would kick off chaos. With a loud bang he flips the table sending plates, food and cutlery flying with a myriad of clattering, clangs and shattering. “The food…” The blonde’s mouth would gape open in shock. “Oop!” She’d soon feel Bawke start to move, rising up onto his hind legs. Her thighs would grip tight as she’d hold tight with one hand while the other balanced her plate of food she hung onto. 

Xalkas managed to weasel free. It indeed was a snake. 

As an automatic response, the two reavers were alerted and step forward with their weapons drawn in defence from Kerric’s actions. 

Even Jolliver stood from his seat in surprise from Kerric’s audacity, but it was T'chal'fronack'zcinicker‘s response that sent the man into a loud howl of laughter. The mans belly laughter eventually calmed once again. He’d look back and forth between the leader and his soldier wide eyed, yet still sporting an air of amusement. A grin rested on his face. “Darling, you just gave me a peer review on your ‘newly assembled’ crew.” Jolli would pop his brow at the tiefling. “It’s not about popularity. It’s more about belonging and finding where your skills excel.” He’d nod before glancing over to the paled gnome. “The quiet ones just make Uey suspicious.” A smirk would dance on his lips. A two eyed snake would peek up from between Xalkas’ legs.

Bawke

Bhawke squints at Jolliver, then, with a huff, he gets back on all fours. Not a moment later does Kerric hear the druids words in his mind, "Oi, Prince Charming, its best to calm yourself now before this guy sic's the whole keep on us. Got him suspicious of all of us now 'cuz of that neat trick you did." The bear then sits back on his big bear butt and keeps his eyes on the reavers on the defensive and on Jolliver, to an extent.

Kerric:

Having moved over to Xalkas with his razor-sharp blade bared, Kerric stands well within reach of the snake, demanding, “Attacking me or my friends is a death sentence.  Give me a good reason not to bisect this reptile!”

Intimidate if needed:  16

More quietly, he asks Xalkas, “Are you okay?”

Readied action to attack the snake of it makes any threatening moves.

“I think so.” Xalkas stammers while he pats himself down. “A bit bruised perhaps. Though I think the food should help...” he looks at the now overturned table “if there’s anything still edible I suppose.”

Turning to Jolliver and taking a couple steps back away from the snake, “My apologies, I was lost in my own thoughts and snakes give me quite a fright.”

T'chal'fronack'zcinicker nods, "Fair enough. The quiet ones are always the weird ones. But...he's come in handy. I like that he doesn't complain, just gets stuff done."  He looks down at the mess, then over at Kerric, "Look elf. Enough of your lip! Put that blade away and help clean this up. Hop to it!  All ya'all, get to cleanin! Right now!"  He stands back to watch them work, his arms crossed and a demanding look on his face. 

Kerric:

Answering the Druid’s voice in his mind, Kerric thinks, “You realize we have already slaughtered cultists not 100 yards from here, and our friend was just attacked and wounded by a snake from under the table, right?  We show weakness in front of this bully and we will lose any chance of gaining his respect.”

Ignoring T’Chal for now, Kerric keeps the blade poised to bisect the serpent, waiting for his previous words to have full impact on Jolliver and fully intending to slaughter the snake if it makes any aggressive moves.

Xalkas moves to position Kerric between himself and the super scary snake. 

Ebele may have been munching, but she was all ears like a radar on top of the highest point. She was focused and observed. During a pause she'd offer some nibbles to Bawke, and reach out to Xalkas when he'd hope for some. Things were getting intense in here. It felt like a stand off.

Map Update

"Oh! Ho ho!" There was potentially a stutter in the Jolli mans jolly laugh. "This tough guy am I right!" His voice was booming and he'd gesture over as nonchalantly as he could towards Kerric. "I think that's somthin' you should take up wit Uey." He'd chuckle a little to buy himself some time to recover as his eyes surveyed the room and landed back on the elf.

The serpent was forced to let her 'pet' go. Although she dare not move, she still hiss at her captor, or was it be a purr?

Grimjaw would stroke his beard thoughtfully, eyes on the warrior. "So what's it gunna be Sir knight." The host would gesture theatrically around the room a large smirk growing across his face. "You've commanded the attention of the room. The floor is yours." Jolliver's eyes would narrow in playful challenge. "Make your choice!" Once again his laughter would fill the room.

Kerric:

When Xalkas was allowed to move away from the snake without it attacking him, Kerric's stance relaxes slightly, and he says to the snake and the jolly brigand, "If you attack me or the crew again, expect my blade to sing with blood."  He sheathes his sword and glares at T'chal, saying, "If our hosts want their tables to remain in place, Captain, they should not attack us while under their cover.  I am no scullery maid--those responsible for the attack should clean."

He backs off and keeps Xalkas behind him with respect to the snake, then he nods to the captain, 'yielding the floor' for him to take over the conversation.

T'chal'fronack'zcinicker sighs heavily and shrugs, “Well, what are you going to do. Right?  Say, are there any secret passages in this place or cool underground parts? Where do we keep prisoners if we get em?”

The snake would weave it's way playfully around Kerric's steps when he'd stand down before retreating closer to Jolliver.

"Yeah, yeah." Grimjaw would grin in amusement to the warrior's response. "It's beneath you." He'd make hand movements as if he's heard similar before. Then he'd chuckle and pinch the bridge of his nose for a moment before gesturing with the same hand. "Dude, you wasted perfectly good food." With theatrical movement, he'd then put his hands on his hips. "The chefs will be devastated and the house keeping staff already have to work over time."

The three servers return from the door behind Jolliver, as if to answer T'chal'fronack'zcinicker's questions. They finally arrived to inspect the commotion, and finally spotting the disaster, their jaws hung agape.

Jolli would clap slowly, then his eyes would flick up from the mess to the group. "Commoners." He'd correct the captain before sighing. "How long we gunna beat around the bush fellas?" He'd pop his brow. "Don't you wanna dance?"

Initiative Time!
(It's time to Safety Dance!)

Bhawke stares at the camera like he's on the office.

We're bad at this: 12

Kerric:

No fool himself, Kerric’s hand still rested on the hilt of his Elven Curved Blade when the brigand captain gave the order to attack!

Initiative:  8

T'chal'fronack'zcinicker final volley of questions were a last ditch effort to try and gain some information at the tail end of the charade. He was hoping maybe ego would entitle him to a couple more questions before they decided to fight. Either way though, he's not surprised and has been waiting for battle to start....

T'chal'fronack'zcinicker initiative : 11

Initiative: 9

Guess it's time to finish. Ebele lets out a quiet sigh and concedes. Wanna lick it clean? She'd reach around to her plate to Bhawke as she'd dismount. After giving the bear a chance, the monk would test the weight of the plate in her open palm. She'd smirk. "OPA!"

Initiative
E | R3 | U | S | T | H | Ha |K | R4 | X | JG | G

Jab. SMASH!

Ebele threw a swift left jab and followed up with a Cross Plate Palmer.

On R3
Attack: Attack: 22 Damage: 9
BA: Stunning Strike - 1 ki use
(On hit spend 1 ki point to make the target stunned until the end of your next turn if it fails a CON saving throw (DC 13))
     Cross Plate Palmer Attack: 24 Damage: 6
     (Coined it: A Cross Plate Palmer is much like it sounds. Similar to a classic cross punch, open your palm and add a plate. Opa!)

Initiative
E | R3 | U | S | T | H | Ha |K | R4 | X | JG | G

If Ebele hits with the Cross Plate Palmer:

If Ebele misses with CPP OR hits with CPP, AND the Reaver succeeds the ST:

With the blonde kicking off a smashing good time, the snake returns it's attention towards the warrior elf. Emitting an excited hiss, her tongue flicked out, tasting the air. Returning her belly back to the floor she'd slither slowly towards the shiny knight. She'd run her body over his boot, then around his ankle and continue working her way up his leg, taking her chance against his stronger muscles.

On Kerric
Constrict Attack: 25 Damage: 22
If the target is Medium or smaller, it is grappled (escape DC 12). Until the grapple ends, the target is restrained.

At this point, one of the staff members drew a pair of kitchen cleavers from their britches and began closing in on the captain. "Hungry? Grab a snickers!" He'd grunt, lunging forward in an attempt to slice and dice the tiefling.

On T'chal'fronack'zcinicker
Attack: 22 Damage: 7
BA: 7 Damage: 3 

Initiative
E | R3 | U | S | T | H | Ha | K | R4 | X | JG | G
(To clarify or confirm any thoughts: Ha is Hawke/Bawke)

Roll call: T'chal'fronack'zcinicker

Map Update

T'chal'fronack'zcinicker not liking being chopped up yelps and then growls. He casts invisibility on himself, withdrawing, looking for the best spot to snipe from. He takes a deep breath as he moves, getting his 2nd wind. 9 hps back. (2nd floor balcony to shoot from there?)

Initiative
E | R3 | U | S | T | H | Ha | K | R4 | X | JG | G

T'chal'fronack'zcinicker slips out of sight, desperately looking for high ground and to separate himself from the servers. He manages to move up to the balcony behind.

Initiative
E | R3 | U | S | T | H | Ha | K | R4 | X | JG | G

The next server who was going to follow his fellow man by attacking the captain was now stumped. Exchanging a look with Jolliver, H would swing wildly towards the north eastern corner in search of the tiefling. He'd only find air!

Initiative
E | R3 | U | S | T | H | Ha | K | R4 | X | JG | G

Ebele failed at knocking out the reaver, instead he had retaliated and succeeded in almost slicing her in half with a critical strike. He cut from shoulder, cross her defensive arm block, down her hip and thigh. The teeth shred her exposed skin, causing her to lose a lot of blood.

Roll Call: Hawke and Kerric!