THE CHURCH OF BONK

BONK IS THE CREATOR, THE END, AND THEREFORE THE BEGINNING

The Church of Bonk is built on a belief of the purity of great big sticks.

There is written doctrine, but those who are baptised rarely keep the ability to read, or to think to that matter. There are five chapters in this written doctrine, The Book of Bonk; Bonk I, Bonk II, Bonk III, Donk I, and Donk II. Bonk created the strength to survive and use the great big sticks he had blessed upon the world to the mortals who had been pruned of the evils of "Peace". Each disciple who survives the pruning is given one of Bonk's great big sticks to baptise and purify. Disciples lead the way through the darkness of Peace through mass baptising. Pointies, sparkles, and soft words are deemed as signs of the evils of Peace. Here's the practises of the Church of Bonk:

Baptism

No one is selected, as that would mean being unfair, which is a teaching of Peace. Disciples carry around a great big stick of Bonk to purify any individual who seems they can be saved. But that would be selection, which would be unfair, which is a teaching of Peace. Baptism is a process wherein the wielder of a great big stick of Bonk swings down as hard as they can on the top of the one being purified. This process is repeated until purification is completed. Peace leaves the body when the one being baptised has stopped breathing and moving. Historically, only those of Goliath blood have survived baptism, but some strong humans and dwarves may occur one day. Bonk is open to all rid of Peace. (Side effects of Baptism often includes, amnesia, brain hemoraging, and most often brain damage or death)

Traditions 

Disciples of Bonk only practise a few things, as too many would take time away from baptism. It is custom to sing the ancient guttural song of Donk at dawn, as he is the first light to baptise the first disciples. After succeeding in a day's baptisms, disciples will commence a ritual to mourn those with too firm a hold on Peace to be converted. The dead of the disciples' baptisms will be represented as a pile of sticks in the shape of a teepee surrounded by logs stacked like a wall surrounding the dead. The craft is then set alight with the flames of Bonk. This ritual is used to send the dead off to a council with Bonk to negotiate for a life under him for eternity. But negotiation is a teaching of Peace. it is also custom to wrap great big sticks of Bonk in the finest rope available. This way, the stick inside is never stained by the liquids of pain and it is resistant to breaking. There is a special knot used to tie the rope tightly around the great big bonking stick taught by disciples to new disciples. It is sacreligious to use the knot anywhere else.

Recommended Features

Brain Damage. Your cognitive functions slow, and connections between ideas become long processes. Your intelligence score is decreased by one.

Defied Death. Your death and revival into the church of Bonk has granted you a resistance to any who try to baptise you falsely. You gain resistance to bludgeoning damage.

Successful baptism= Stabilized PC or NPC without the use of healing.

Bonking stick abilities= A club from the shop, or it could be a bigger handcrafted club. Talk to DM for stick size.

Note: make sure to play brain damage correctly. Try to make intelligence your lowest stat. If agreed upon with the DM, make your intelligence modifier negatice.

"Speak softly and carry a big stick" - Teddy Roosevelt