ANNOYING BARDS: Most of us have played with one...some of us have actually been one ourselves...but literally every sentient, thinking and reasoning creature in existence hates them with every fiber of their being and wants only for them to die horrible, gruesome, unnecessarily-violent deaths. This thread is dedicated to providing a "safe" place to send your most stomach-churningly annoying bards, so that their flutes won't be getting in the way of real adventurers doing actual important things...
THEMS THE RULES:
CHARACTER CREATION 1. Use D&D Beyond to create a level-10 bard using any official D&D 5e source materials (including UA), but sorry no homebrew. 2. ANY race/class combination is legal: - Yes Warforged and Aaracokra. - Yes evil races from Volo's. - Yes Half-elf that is part-drow and part-grung, centaur, or aasimar (although does not affect given half-elf racial traits.) 3. You may multi-class your bard with no more than ONE (1) other class, but must have at least 5 levels assigned to the bard class. 4. You have an allowance of 1500 gold to purchase weapons, armor and equipment and may choose one common, one uncommon and one rare magic item to equip your bard with. 6. Roll 4d6dl for your ability stats in a reply to this thread and assign the results in the order in which they appear (i.e. 1st result = STR, 2nd result = DEX, etc.) NO RE-ROLLS!!!
BACKGROUND 7. MUST select the "Performer" background and pick a specialty. Please don't everyone choose poet. 8. MUST choose TWO (2) personality traits, ONE (1) ideal, ONE (1) bond and an UNLIMITED number of flaws (at least one). These choices can come from ANY background option. 9. Add a link to your bard's character sheet to the post with your rolled ability stats. Also add your bard's chosen Performance specialty and list all of their personality traits chosen above.
ANNOYINGEST BACKSTORY...EVER 10. Now add the bard's full backstory to the bottom of your post - describe in graphic detail just how annoying your bard is and how/why they came to be that way. Reading about how annoying your bard is should be so off-putting that it literally makes people want to find your bard and do violence to them (more on that in a second...) Can be as long and detailed as you want. Comment on other people's annoying bard builds or thank them for depositing them here rather than with a serious adventuring party where they would just distract the casters, bump into the tank, and dance in between the archers and their intended targets.
THE GOOD PART You have the option to send your bard for some additional "performance enhancement training" by way of a separate play-by-post thread where we will unleash wave after wave of unspeakable horrors upon them until their mirthful little souls have all been rended from their colorfully bruised and battered bodies!
Name: Prince Cassanobull Race: Minotaur Class: Paladin/Bard (Oath of Glory/College of Swords) Background: Entertainer(Juggler) Sheet:https://ddb.ac/characters/37797763/ZNPdsx Personality Traits, Ideal, Bond, Flaws: -PT:I’m a hopeless romantic, always searching for that “special someone.” I’ll settle for nothing less than perfection. -ID: Beauty. When I perform, I make the world better than it was. (Good) -BO: I will do anything to prove myself superior to my hated rival, Prince Cassagnome! -FL: I’m a sucker for a pretty face. I’ll do anything to win fame and renown. Backstory: Between kicking shades, a totally cool cursed dragon tooth necklace, and a bod too awesome to contain within his glorious armor half the time, the self proclaimed "Prince" Cassonbul knows he's the best and very proud of it. A shiny example that even after being cursed into the form of a minotaur, just because some dirty hag made some crappy deal with his pop's to fix his ailing body when he was kid, ain't got nothing on the prince of charm, love, and ultimate muscles. Even the gods had to acknowledge him as a champion of Beauty and the Blade after he totally outflexed a stone giant that one time. And he earned it too!
Because there weren't no way his dad deal had anything to do with him getting better eventually, when he put so much hardwork and building up a totally radical bod that can never, ever, EVER be brought down by some puny disease again! Who cares if the timing didn't quite add up? Probably that punk Gnome maybe. Always trying to show him up ever since his girl started looking at 'The Beef''s way. But whatever! So long as he keeps giving it a 110% and making sure everyone knows it, they'll come around and recognize the perfection that is Prince Cassnobull!
Well, we can only go with the Performer(Entertainer) Background, so no can do. But's that's fine. I came up with too decent ones after that array. Only question is if I can trade out the uncommon magic item for an additional common one. Because I'm really torn between Cast-Off Armor or a Billowing Cloak.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
When you realize you're doing too much: Signature.
Personality Traits, Ideal, Bond, Flaws: - I get bitter if I’m not the center of attention. - Whenever I come to a new place, I collect local rumors and spread gossip. - Beauty. When I perform, I make the world better than it was. (Good) - I want to be famous, whatever it takes. - Despite my best efforts, I am unreliable to my friends. - I’ll do anything to win fame and renown.
BACKSTORY TMI overly-friendly, manic, never shuts up, perpetually ready to slam down shots, encourages others to do shots out of her belly button, gossips about her friends most private secrets to anyone who will listen, has a bad (and poorly-timed) joke prepped for every occasion, thoroughly enjoys social awkwardness and seeks opportunities to create it, never calls anyone by their correct name, thinks card tricks are effective against placating dragons, beholders, demons, liches and other "audience members", but no matter how bad the fight is going will always have that sort of "*****en'!" look on her face as if nothing is wrong.
' Rogues Will Be Rogues ' (Circle of Fives Admission Rules, § 6 par. IV) " Put It Down. Now. Or Be Sorry. " (D. Khar-Errendis' Reported Tips For Curing Soul Ailments And Assorted Bad Behaviours, v. LIV p.XIII) " Tween thisThy and yonThou, shall I prove to Thee that these art what thou dost see ? " (Grimoire of The Great Pananthyr) " This One has said enough. Now, we fight. This way please ?" (8th Grade Bronze Disciple Raulnar Drohjo, Way of the Open Palm)
' Rogues Will Be Rogues ' (Circle of Fives Admission Rules, § 6 par. IV) " Put It Down. Now. Or Be Sorry. " (D. Khar-Errendis' Reported Tips For Curing Soul Ailments And Assorted Bad Behaviours, v. LIV p.XIII) " Tween thisThy and yonThou, shall I prove to Thee that these art what thou dost see ? " (Grimoire of The Great Pananthyr) " This One has said enough. Now, we fight. This way please ?" (8th Grade Bronze Disciple Raulnar Drohjo, Way of the Open Palm)
Any bard who constantly sings 'Never Gonna Give You Up'. Was in a campaign where this was pretty much the only NPC. In the end, one of the party members tried to kill him off, but sucks for us, the DM made him immortal.
ANNOYING BARDS: Most of us have played with one...some of us have actually been one ourselves...but literally every sentient, thinking and reasoning creature in existence hates them with every fiber of their being and wants only for them to die horrible, gruesome, unnecessarily-violent deaths. This thread is dedicated to providing a "safe" place to send your most stomach-churningly annoying bards, so that their flutes won't be getting in the way of real adventurers doing actual important things...
THEMS THE RULES:
CHARACTER CREATION
1. Use D&D Beyond to create a level-10 bard using any official D&D 5e source materials (including UA), but sorry no homebrew.
2. ANY race/class combination is legal:
- Yes Warforged and Aaracokra.
- Yes evil races from Volo's.
- Yes Half-elf that is part-drow and part-grung, centaur, or aasimar (although does not affect given half-elf racial traits.)
3. You may multi-class your bard with no more than ONE (1) other class, but must have at least 5 levels assigned to the bard class.
4. You have an allowance of 1500 gold to purchase weapons, armor and equipment and may choose one common, one uncommon and one rare magic item to equip your bard with.
6. Roll 4d6dl for your ability stats in a reply to this thread and assign the results in the order in which they appear (i.e. 1st result = STR, 2nd result = DEX, etc.) NO RE-ROLLS!!!
BACKGROUND
7. MUST select the "Performer" background and pick a specialty. Please don't everyone choose poet.
8. MUST choose TWO (2) personality traits, ONE (1) ideal, ONE (1) bond and an UNLIMITED number of flaws (at least one). These choices can come from ANY background option.
9. Add a link to your bard's character sheet to the post with your rolled ability stats. Also add your bard's chosen Performance specialty and list all of their personality traits chosen above.
ANNOYINGEST BACKSTORY...EVER
10. Now add the bard's full backstory to the bottom of your post - describe in graphic detail just how annoying your bard is and how/why they came to be that way. Reading about how annoying your bard is should be so off-putting that it literally makes people want to find your bard and do violence to them (more on that in a second...) Can be as long and detailed as you want. Comment on other people's annoying bard builds or thank them for depositing them here rather than with a serious adventuring party where they would just distract the casters, bump into the tank, and dance in between the archers and their intended targets.
THE GOOD PART
You have the option to send your bard for some additional "performance enhancement training" by way of a separate play-by-post thread where we will unleash wave after wave of unspeakable horrors upon them until their mirthful little souls have all been rended from their colorfully bruised and battered bodies!
Ability scores: 11 8 4 10 7 12
Name: Spook
Race: Warforged
Class: Bard (College of Spirits)
Background: Entertainer (Storyteller)
Sheet: https://ddb.ac/characters/37780709/YCDEYQ
Backstory: WIP
Active Characters
Tink - Elf Artificer Nicholas Meloncreek - Human Fighter
Thurkear - Lizardfolk Warlock Bjorn "Whitewalker" Akannathi - Goliath Ranger
Very oblivious bard. Cast suggestion "Wouldn't it be fun to try a bankrupt noble for the background?"
Rogue Shadow, the DM (and occasional) PC with schemes of inventive thinking
Ability scores: 16 8 3 11 15 14.
Name: Prince Cassanobull
Race: Minotaur
Class: Paladin/Bard (Oath of Glory/College of Swords)
Background: Entertainer(Juggler)
Sheet: https://ddb.ac/characters/37797763/ZNPdsx
Personality Traits, Ideal, Bond, Flaws:
-PT: I’m a hopeless romantic, always searching for that “special someone.” I’ll settle for nothing less than perfection.
-ID: Beauty. When I perform, I make the world better than it was. (Good)
-BO: I will do anything to prove myself superior to my hated rival, Prince Cassagnome!
-FL: I’m a sucker for a pretty face. I’ll do anything to win fame and renown.
Backstory: Between kicking shades, a totally cool cursed dragon tooth necklace, and a bod too awesome to contain within his glorious armor half the time, the self proclaimed "Prince" Cassonbul knows he's the best and very proud of it. A shiny example that even after being cursed into the form of a minotaur, just because some dirty hag made some crappy deal with his pop's to fix his ailing body when he was kid, ain't got nothing on the prince of charm, love, and ultimate muscles. Even the gods had to acknowledge him as a champion of Beauty and the Blade after he totally outflexed a stone giant that one time. And he earned it too!
Because there weren't no way his dad deal had anything to do with him getting better eventually, when he put so much hardwork and building up a totally radical bod that can never, ever, EVER be brought down by some puny disease again! Who cares if the timing didn't quite add up? Probably that punk Gnome maybe. Always trying to show him up ever since his girl started looking at 'The Beef''s way. But whatever! So long as he keeps giving it a 110% and making sure everyone knows it, they'll come around and recognize the perfection that is Prince Cassnobull!
When you realize you're doing too much: Signature.
very squishy bard. Go with soldier background and valor college
Rogue Shadow, the DM (and occasional) PC with schemes of inventive thinking
Well, we can only go with the Performer(Entertainer) Background, so no can do. But's that's fine. I came up with too decent ones after that array. Only question is if I can trade out the uncommon magic item for an additional common one. Because I'm really torn between Cast-Off Armor or a Billowing Cloak.
When you realize you're doing too much: Signature.
11 15 16 15 13 17
Name: Ilezenya
Race: Satry
Subclass: College of Glamour
Background: Entertainer (Street Magician)
Sheet: https://www.dndbeyond.com/profile/fightingcrow60/characters/38494328
Personality Traits, Ideal, Bond, Flaws:
- I get bitter if I’m not the center of attention.
- Whenever I come to a new place, I collect local rumors and spread gossip.
- Beauty. When I perform, I make the world better than it was. (Good)
- I want to be famous, whatever it takes.
- Despite my best efforts, I am unreliable to my friends.
- I’ll do anything to win fame and renown.
TMI overly-friendly, manic, never shuts up, perpetually ready to slam down shots, encourages others to do shots out of her belly button, gossips about her friends most private secrets to anyone who will listen, has a bad (and poorly-timed) joke prepped for every occasion, thoroughly enjoys social awkwardness and seeks opportunities to create it, never calls anyone by their correct name, thinks card tricks are effective against placating dragons, beholders, demons, liches and other "audience members", but no matter how bad the fight is going will always have that sort of "*****en'!" look on her face as if nothing is wrong.
Ability scores: 12 11 10 12 13 10
Name: Mirlitus Nincomboop
Race: Aarakocra (chicken)
Subclass: er... chicken ?
Background: *cluck* ?
Sheet: chicken sheet
Personality Traits, Ideal, Bond, Flaws:
- chicken
- chicken
- chicken
- CHICKEN !
BACKSTORY
cluck... cluck... cooo ?
*cluck*
CHICKEN
' Rogues Will Be Rogues ' (Circle of Fives Admission Rules, § 6 par. IV)
" Put It Down. Now. Or Be Sorry. " (D. Khar-Errendis' Reported Tips For Curing Soul Ailments And Assorted Bad Behaviours, v. LIV p.XIII)
" Tween thisThy and yonThou, shall I prove to Thee that these art what thou dost see ? " (Grimoire of The Great Pananthyr)
" This One has said enough. Now, we fight. This way please ?" (8th Grade Bronze Disciple Raulnar Drohjo, Way of the Open Palm)
HA!!!
Rogue Shadow, the DM (and occasional) PC with schemes of inventive thinking
Well, the thread did say: "annoying".
*cluck ?*
' Rogues Will Be Rogues ' (Circle of Fives Admission Rules, § 6 par. IV)
" Put It Down. Now. Or Be Sorry. " (D. Khar-Errendis' Reported Tips For Curing Soul Ailments And Assorted Bad Behaviours, v. LIV p.XIII)
" Tween thisThy and yonThou, shall I prove to Thee that these art what thou dost see ? " (Grimoire of The Great Pananthyr)
" This One has said enough. Now, we fight. This way please ?" (8th Grade Bronze Disciple Raulnar Drohjo, Way of the Open Palm)
Any bard who constantly sings 'Never Gonna Give You Up'. Was in a campaign where this was pretty much the only NPC. In the end, one of the party members tried to kill him off, but sucks for us, the DM made him immortal.
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Musk Sucks, Quit X!