Hello everyone! I recently made a new race for D&D, and I wanted some feedback from the larger community. It's called the Ar'anken. Here's the link: https://www.dndbeyond.com/races/507810-aranken. I would highly appreciate any feedback!
First, I love the flavor text. It is well written and interesting. It also has a feature I wish all races had which is a table of some sort (quirks, obsessions, etc.)
This seems pretty balanced, I think it would be interesting to have some form of scaling for the telepathy distance (primarily because a powerful ability comes at 15th level, so this could be something for the player to feel more powerful as they get closer to that level). I think this whole race feels very cool and different from the currently available races. One point that needs to be clarified, what is this race's creature type?
An inky black form moved slowly along the floor. It seemed to be looking for something. It suddenly stretched upwards, level with the table. A golden goblet with valuable gemstones embedded in it stood upon the table. The creature seemed to be inspecting it. Suddenly, the goblet began to float, and it moved towards the creature. It touched the creature, and it seemed to be absorbed by the creature's body. The goblet slowly moved into the strange creature, and finally, it disappeared. The creature then began to glide across the floor towards me, and it came up to my face. It was like a void, devoid of light. It was as if pure darkness had become intelligent. I realized this was something I had read about a long time ago in my studies. It was an extremely rare, intelligent race known as an Ar'anken.
-Xanblek Trentin, A Treatise on Intelligent Races
Ar'anken are a race of myth. They are mystical creatures, and little is known of them. They are like a pure, solid void that can take things in when it wishes. They can telekinetically move objects, moving them as we'd move objects with our hands. When they are born, they mysteriously know the Ar'anken language, although they have never been taught.
Planar Nomads
Ar'anken wander the planes, and have no home. They are nomads, moving from plane to plane, finding things they like and collecting them within their void bodies. They are extremely rare, and few have ever been seen on the material plane. One that becomes and adventurer is rare, but there are some that want to do more than others of their kind, and decide to stay in the material plane and live a life of adventure. They are often feared by those they come across on the material plane, as they are strange creatures.
Mysterious Wanderers
Almost nothing is known of the Ar'anken, even by the Ar'anken themselves, as they have no community and most Ar'anken have never seen another Ar'anken. What all Ar'anken do know, though, is that they were born from a void, a void created by planar magic. No one knows what specific conditions must be met for an Ar'anken to be created, but it is known that they are formed by planar magic. Some Ar'anken want to know more about themselves, and wander the planes in search for answers. The most powerful Ar'anken can move between the planes on their own, while others need to find portals or a powerful spellcaster to move about.
Shifting Forms
Ar'anken have no set form, and can change their form. They are normally a shifting, black, blob-like form, but they can change their size, stretching their bodies between 3 and 7 feet. As they grow stronger, they can first cast illusions around themself, but then literally change their form. Because of this, Ar'anken are skilled spies and thieves, able to slip between guards and the like with ease.
Obsessive Creatures
Ar'anken are very obsessive, and most Ar'anken will have something they obsess over constantly. This obsession is often what leads them on their planar quests. Consult the Ar'anken obsessions table to either decide randomly or choose what obsession your Ar'anken character will have, or make on of your own.
Ar'anken Obsessions
d6
Obsession
1
You obsess over having perfect technology, and always strive to improve your technological inventions.
2
You are obsessed with protecting natural life, and will do anything to restore nature to what it was before civilization, pollution, and agriculture.
3
You have a particular hatred for a certain race, and strive to end its existence... violently.
4
You are obsessed with becoming the most powerful being ever to live, and will do anything to increase your power.
5
You are obsessed with knowledge of all kinds, and have been traveling the planes in search of all the knowledge ever known, chronicling it all in a series of treatises.
6
You are obsessed with finding the meaning of life, and why you're here, why anyone's here.
Ar'anken Names
Ar'anken have no parents or other family connections, so they name themselves. They name themselves in the mysterious Ar'anken tongue they know from birth, and usually only have a one word name. As Ar'anken have no gender, no differentiations are made between names.
Your Wisdom score increases by 2, and your Intelligence score increases by 1.
Age
Ar'anken do not age, and therefore can live forever naturally, although they can still be killed by other causes.
Alignment
Ar'anken generally don't care much for the affairs of others, and tend to be neutral alignments.
Size
Ar'anken have some amount of flexibility, and can stretch between 3 and 7 feet tall. Nonetheless, your size is always Medium.
Speed
You can slide across the ground. Your base walking speed is 25 feet.
Ar'anken Telekinesis
You are innately able to psychically move objects with your mind. You can cast Mage Hand at will, and it can carry objects with a up to a weight (in pounds) equal to your Wisdom score plus 5.
Strengthened Mind
Your mind is stronger than the mind of most other races. You have resistance to psychic damage.
Shifting Forms
As an Ar'anken, as you grow stronger, you can first change yourself with illusion, but then change yourself physically. At 2nd level, you can cast Disguise Self once per short rest. At 5th level, you can cast Alter Self once per short rest.
Planar Traveller
At 15th level, you are one of the most powerful Ar'anken. You can now travel between the planes naturally, instead of having to seek out portals or other means. With this power, you can cast Plane Shift once per long rest.
Languages
You can read, write, and telepathically speak Common, Ar'anken, and one extra language of your choice to any creature within 30 feet. You can speak to up to ten creatures at a time in this way.
Hello everyone! I recently made a new race for D&D, and I wanted some feedback from the larger community. It's called the Ar'anken. Here's the link: https://www.dndbeyond.com/races/507810-aranken. I would highly appreciate any feedback!
Is the link fine, or would you prefer that I post the entire description here?
The link is fine.
First, I love the flavor text. It is well written and interesting. It also has a feature I wish all races had which is a table of some sort (quirks, obsessions, etc.)
This seems pretty balanced, I think it would be interesting to have some form of scaling for the telepathy distance (primarily because a powerful ability comes at 15th level, so this could be something for the player to feel more powerful as they get closer to that level). I think this whole race feels very cool and different from the currently available races. One point that needs to be clarified, what is this race's creature type?
Thanks a lot for the feedback, I'll definitely take it into account.
As for the creature type, they're technically aberrations, but count as humanoid for the purposes of all effects (hold person, etc.).
For convenience, here is the entire race:
Ar'anken
Ar'anken are a race of myth. They are mystical creatures, and little is known of them. They are like a pure, solid void that can take things in when it wishes. They can telekinetically move objects, moving them as we'd move objects with our hands. When they are born, they mysteriously know the Ar'anken language, although they have never been taught.
Planar Nomads
Ar'anken wander the planes, and have no home. They are nomads, moving from plane to plane, finding things they like and collecting them within their void bodies. They are extremely rare, and few have ever been seen on the material plane. One that becomes and adventurer is rare, but there are some that want to do more than others of their kind, and decide to stay in the material plane and live a life of adventure. They are often feared by those they come across on the material plane, as they are strange creatures.
Mysterious Wanderers
Almost nothing is known of the Ar'anken, even by the Ar'anken themselves, as they have no community and most Ar'anken have never seen another Ar'anken. What all Ar'anken do know, though, is that they were born from a void, a void created by planar magic. No one knows what specific conditions must be met for an Ar'anken to be created, but it is known that they are formed by planar magic. Some Ar'anken want to know more about themselves, and wander the planes in search for answers. The most powerful Ar'anken can move between the planes on their own, while others need to find portals or a powerful spellcaster to move about.
Shifting Forms
Ar'anken have no set form, and can change their form. They are normally a shifting, black, blob-like form, but they can change their size, stretching their bodies between 3 and 7 feet. As they grow stronger, they can first cast illusions around themself, but then literally change their form. Because of this, Ar'anken are skilled spies and thieves, able to slip between guards and the like with ease.
Obsessive Creatures
Ar'anken are very obsessive, and most Ar'anken will have something they obsess over constantly. This obsession is often what leads them on their planar quests. Consult the Ar'anken obsessions table to either decide randomly or choose what obsession your Ar'anken character will have, or make on of your own.
Ar'anken Obsessions
Ar'anken Names
Ar'anken have no parents or other family connections, so they name themselves. They name themselves in the mysterious Ar'anken tongue they know from birth, and usually only have a one word name. As Ar'anken have no gender, no differentiations are made between names.
Ar'anken Names: Dleeruum, Buurest, Jhaarn, Ssooress, Weeressna
Ar'anken Traits
Your Ar'anken character has the following traits.
Ability Score Increase
Your Wisdom score increases by 2, and your Intelligence score increases by 1.
Age
Ar'anken do not age, and therefore can live forever naturally, although they can still be killed by other causes.
Alignment
Ar'anken generally don't care much for the affairs of others, and tend to be neutral alignments.
Size
Ar'anken have some amount of flexibility, and can stretch between 3 and 7 feet tall. Nonetheless, your size is always Medium.
Speed
You can slide across the ground. Your base walking speed is 25 feet.
Ar'anken Telekinesis
You are innately able to psychically move objects with your mind. You can cast Mage Hand at will, and it can carry objects with a up to a weight (in pounds) equal to your Wisdom score plus 5.
Strengthened Mind
Your mind is stronger than the mind of most other races. You have resistance to psychic damage.
Shifting Forms
As an Ar'anken, as you grow stronger, you can first change yourself with illusion, but then change yourself physically. At 2nd level, you can cast Disguise Self once per short rest. At 5th level, you can cast Alter Self once per short rest.
Planar Traveller
At 15th level, you are one of the most powerful Ar'anken. You can now travel between the planes naturally, instead of having to seek out portals or other means. With this power, you can cast Plane Shift once per long rest.
Languages
You can read, write, and telepathically speak Common, Ar'anken, and one extra language of your choice to any creature within 30 feet. You can speak to up to ten creatures at a time in this way.
I will make changes to the race once I have more feedback, so I don't have to keep making new versions.