Super Power... With a Flaw

you can now add flavor to water in dnd if you cast prestidigitation assuming you have it

the power to know who nikoli is

You think you have an idea, but it's like you rolled a 1 on insight

The power to roll nat 20s whenever I want to

But you always fail

I can talk to animals

but not to humans or elves.

I become invulnerable

...to advantage made with True Strike.

I can cast Fireball at will without needing spell slots or components...

...but only once in a blue moon.

I can't be damaged...

when you're drinking blue moon.

I can punch through stone

But nothing else.

i can drink poison

But not water (or any other water-based liquid).

I can polymorph into anything at will...

... but you literally polymorph into the word anything

I can fly...

at a speed of 1 foot per...5 weeks.

I can phase through objects and creatures...

If they are able to phase through you.

I know everything that ever was, is, or will be...

But not what wasn't, isn't, or ever won't be.

I can silence people at will...

...for 1 second, and only once every 2 hours.

I can force people other than myself to become possessed...

...by someone who has your worst interests in mind.

I can feed people KNUCKLE SANDWICHES!!!!!!!...

...but said 'knuckle sandwiches' are just regular sandwiches in the shape of a fist.

I can summon giant cheeseburgers to fall from the sky...

Giant cheeseburgers fall from the sky. They are large enough to damage homes, vehicles ,and crush a person unlucky enough to stand beneath one. 

I wish this game would never end. 

Sorry, mate. That's a different forum game.

I can turn into an octopus the size of a skyscraper that can breathe air as well as water …

You can... in space!

I can automatically correct all creatures grammar within 10000000000000000000 ft. of me...

... but you are also transported to the other side of the universe, to a planet where there is literally no rules of grammar.

I can smite my foes with a warhammer and the wrath of GOD...