For crossing out your false reason for banning me, you are..

BANNED.

For editing your comment, you good sir, are banned.

For banning the person above you, good sir..

You're banned and I unban everyone before you!

For unbanning everyone and contradicting me, you are...

BANNED.

Your profile pic doesn't look anything like your username. BANNED!

For being hypocritical, you are...

BANNED. 

(77 bans now!!!)

for having 77 bans you are

banned

For banning someone I like you are now

BANNED

for banning me you are

banned

For issuing 2 bans within 1 minutes , you are now 

Banned

for having the default profile picture you are

banned

For having only 1 real post, you are banned, good day sir!

For calling someone sir when they could be a ma'am, (unless, of course, you know them and can therefore use the correct one), you're banned, good sir/ma'am. Auto-correct put in the apostrophes.

For having a nonsensical username, you are...

BANNED.

for having a username that makes sense you are

banned

For, once again, NOT BOTHERING WITH GRAMMAR, you are...

BANNED.

You didn't bother with grammar. Banned!

For not thinking of your own reason, you are...

BANNED.

For saying recycling is bad, you are banned.