Okay, my second session of ever playing dnd. Our druid and I were cornered by the World Serpent after the illusion it had conjured collapsed around us. Our cleric, who was not trapped, just leaves. "Ten gold isn't enough to fight the World Serpent." So, we're cornered. Our druid decides to try to plead for mercy. Our druid, and DM roll. Our cleric says, referring to the DM, "Imagine he rolls a nat 1." The DM rolls, and goes dead silent. Then he looks at our cleric and says "I swear I am going to kill you." HE ACTUALLY ROLLED A NAT 1 ON THE SAVING THROW. Our druid only rolled around a 7. So, we convinced the World Serpent to let us go, saying that it would be fun to watch our suffering. So that was an interesting second session.
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Call me Zeg.
I enjoy making homebew, and making characters in hero forge. Shoot me a message if you want your character created at no charge.
Ah, so I was revived from a 200 year slumber to fight a lich who had summoned a bunch of strong minions and the god of light was helping us. Well we beat up some goons and fought the lich. We then discovered that the god of light had hired the lich to kill all creatures of darkness. Now, since we were A. 20th level and B. too lazy to properly kill the god of light or something, a warlock in my party called in a few favors and sued the god of light for attempted hate crimes and attempted mass genocide. We took the case to mechanus where it was overseen by primus and won. Afterwards I became a minor god of bioengineering (I was a plasmoid artificer).
One of the parties I'm currently playing in is an evil-aligned trio; equal and opposite of another hero-aligned one in the same setting. By far our most giggle-worthy ruse thus far is that, through the consistent use of various spells; mostly Cleric Spiritual Weapon, Unseen Servant, Minor Illusion, and Invisibility... We've perpetrated the consistent mind-game that there's actually a fourth member of the party... His name is Invis-O-Bill...
Our bard plans on using Sending at some point in future to speak for him; I've made the demand that they open all conversations with "This is the voice of Invis-O-Bill!"... if you get why that's funny you're old.
In my last session, the party were beating up some Umber Hulks. Umber hulks have the ability to stare into your eyes and basically cripple you for a turn, so by the second one, everyone decided to avert their eyes for every turn.
Round 3 of combat comes around, and they're still looking away as they pummel this poor umber hulk. One of the party even says "The other one went down way quicker than this!". In round 4, that same one of them says, having missed with their attack in their last turn, "Screw it, I'll take the risk and look at it!". I pass the player a note: "The umber hulk is dead. It has been for 2 rounds. Nobody has looked at it to notice yet."
Yeah, the hilarity that this made erupt around the table will echo for years!
An older tale, when we were clearing a drawf's house of kbolds for them - my namesake character Thoruk Duckslayer, barbarian, was raging and wanted to keep it going, so I said "I'll attack whatever is closest and then continue", thinking he'd smash a chair or something. DM decided that "whatever was closest" was a shrine, and had me roll a strength save, which I nat 20'd, and I powered through the Gimli-repulsion-field(tm) and broke the shrine. People who had magic immediately felt the change. All the other players start freaking out as magic swirls outward from the shine, and one of them identifies it as being dedicated to the Dwarven Goddess of Homely protection - in the dwarf's home that we were clearing of kobolds for him. So this dwarven woman with a tidy beard and an "oh no you didn't just break my alter" attitude appears and asks Thoruk exactly what he thinks he's doing. Thoruk, oblivious, sees the beard and says "Stand back sir, there could be more of them!", and heroically charges further into the house. The party manages t ostop Thoruk - the kobolds are fleeing from this goddess that's appeared, and she finally asks Thoruk what he was doing. He replies: "We were asked by the dwarves outside to come in here and destroy everything, so that's what we're doing!". Pursasion roll (as Thoruk believes this was the plan, after another character paraphrased it for him before they went in), Nat 20.
Yeah, so that was how Thoruk convinced a goddess of homely protection that the dwarves who own the house asked him to come in and destroy her shrine. When we left, the two dwarves were finding it impossible to get the doors to open!
I know it's probably been done to death but come on girls and guys, half orcs, elves and dwarfs and especially you amazing DM's.
What are the funniest stories and situations you've ever seen or been a part of.
What situation has happened that made your DM smile or made you put your head in your hands.
I look forward to reading some hilarious stories.
Okay, my second session of ever playing dnd. Our druid and I were cornered by the World Serpent after the illusion it had conjured collapsed around us. Our cleric, who was not trapped, just leaves. "Ten gold isn't enough to fight the World Serpent." So, we're cornered. Our druid decides to try to plead for mercy. Our druid, and DM roll. Our cleric says, referring to the DM, "Imagine he rolls a nat 1." The DM rolls, and goes dead silent. Then he looks at our cleric and says "I swear I am going to kill you." HE ACTUALLY ROLLED A NAT 1 ON THE SAVING THROW. Our druid only rolled around a 7. So, we convinced the World Serpent to let us go, saying that it would be fun to watch our suffering. So that was an interesting second session.
Call me Zeg.
I enjoy making homebew, and making characters in hero forge. Shoot me a message if you want your character created at no charge.
Ah, so I was revived from a 200 year slumber to fight a lich who had summoned a bunch of strong minions and the god of light was helping us. Well we beat up some goons and fought the lich. We then discovered that the god of light had hired the lich to kill all creatures of darkness. Now, since we were A. 20th level and B. too lazy to properly kill the god of light or something, a warlock in my party called in a few favors and sued the god of light for attempted hate crimes and attempted mass genocide. We took the case to mechanus where it was overseen by primus and won. Afterwards I became a minor god of bioengineering (I was a plasmoid artificer).
One of the parties I'm currently playing in is an evil-aligned trio; equal and opposite of another hero-aligned one in the same setting. By far our most giggle-worthy ruse thus far is that, through the consistent use of various spells; mostly Cleric Spiritual Weapon, Unseen Servant, Minor Illusion, and Invisibility... We've perpetrated the consistent mind-game that there's actually a fourth member of the party... His name is Invis-O-Bill...
Our bard plans on using Sending at some point in future to speak for him; I've made the demand that they open all conversations with "This is the voice of Invis-O-Bill!"... if you get why that's funny you're old.
In my last session, the party were beating up some Umber Hulks. Umber hulks have the ability to stare into your eyes and basically cripple you for a turn, so by the second one, everyone decided to avert their eyes for every turn.
Round 3 of combat comes around, and they're still looking away as they pummel this poor umber hulk. One of the party even says "The other one went down way quicker than this!". In round 4, that same one of them says, having missed with their attack in their last turn, "Screw it, I'll take the risk and look at it!". I pass the player a note: "The umber hulk is dead. It has been for 2 rounds. Nobody has looked at it to notice yet."
Yeah, the hilarity that this made erupt around the table will echo for years!
An older tale, when we were clearing a drawf's house of kbolds for them - my namesake character Thoruk Duckslayer, barbarian, was raging and wanted to keep it going, so I said "I'll attack whatever is closest and then continue", thinking he'd smash a chair or something. DM decided that "whatever was closest" was a shrine, and had me roll a strength save, which I nat 20'd, and I powered through the Gimli-repulsion-field(tm) and broke the shrine. People who had magic immediately felt the change. All the other players start freaking out as magic swirls outward from the shine, and one of them identifies it as being dedicated to the Dwarven Goddess of Homely protection - in the dwarf's home that we were clearing of kobolds for him. So this dwarven woman with a tidy beard and an "oh no you didn't just break my alter" attitude appears and asks Thoruk exactly what he thinks he's doing. Thoruk, oblivious, sees the beard and says "Stand back sir, there could be more of them!", and heroically charges further into the house. The party manages t ostop Thoruk - the kobolds are fleeing from this goddess that's appeared, and she finally asks Thoruk what he was doing. He replies: "We were asked by the dwarves outside to come in here and destroy everything, so that's what we're doing!". Pursasion roll (as Thoruk believes this was the plan, after another character paraphrased it for him before they went in), Nat 20.
Yeah, so that was how Thoruk convinced a goddess of homely protection that the dwarves who own the house asked him to come in and destroy her shrine. When we left, the two dwarves were finding it impossible to get the doors to open!
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