“I should never have picked up a doll that was not the rare variant. So I promise not to do that again unless it is the rare variant.” 

— Briv

Watch Beyond Heroes: Wildemount | Episode 13: The Cube

You can also download our show as a podcast directly or listen on Google Play, iTunes, or Spotify!

The cast of Beyond Heroes, Penelope is level 11 while the rest are level 10:

• Todd Kenreck as the Dungeon Master
• Keen Dayeprath - Eladrin Eldritch Knight Fighter played by TJ Storm
• Briv Steelmarrow - Half-Orc Oath of Heroism Paladin played by Adam Bradford
• Penelope Half-Pint - Halfling Circle of Land Druid 10/Warlock Pact of the Archfey 1 played by Hope LaVelle
• Alyndra Alexandria Garanahil Sarrbarand, Lorekeeper of Rime Spiro, Kinscribe of Clan Monkeymouse, Daughter of Oblivion - High Elf Cleric 1/Wizard 9 played by Jen Kretchmer
• Orkira Illdrex - Dragonborn Light Domain Cleric played by Lauren Urban

Full Summary

As the three remaining gelatinous cubes close in on our Heroes, Orkira casts wall of fire to hold them at bay. The searing flames are strong enough to turn Jester Jab into a puddle, and the cubes are seriously burnt before pulling away in fear. As the creatures retreat down the hallways, Penelope and Briv start collecting the dropped gold and gems scattered all over the floor. The melted remains of Jester Jab are scooped up by Keen to be presented as proof later, and when the banished gelatinous cube returns it is quickly dispatched.

Briv takes a moment to check on the Jester Jab in his bag, and finds that doll has also come to life. The half-orc is overjoyed to see one of his childhood dreams come true, and is quick to offer the doll the opportunity to be his squire as long as he is not murderous or evil. While creepy and obviously cursed, this Jester Jab seems happy to accept a position working for Briv, and isn’t immediately hostile. Orkira is still wary, but in a gesture of good will she casts mending to repair the broken parts of the doll, and Briv is ecstatic to see he is now in mint condition. They discuss removing the curse, though no one is sure if that will remove the sentience from the figure all together, and since this Jester Jab appears to be friendly the group are hesitant to destroy it. 

When asked if there are more living toys hiding in the sewer, Jester Jab confirms there are many more. Briv is hopeful that they'll find a variant rare version of the doll with the oak face, while the rest want to investigate if there are more issues with evil constructs that need to be addressed. Alyndra offers to help her friend, and after getting a detailed description of the rare variant of Jester Jab she casts locate object to discover there is one in the same direction that they need to go. As the group start following the hallway, Orkira asks Penelope to talk with the gelatinous cube to try and convince it to let them pass so they don’t have to fight it, as she has befriended gelatinous cubes before. When they ask Jester Jab who caused the curse, it does not know, it simply been down in the sewers killing people, though it says it’s trying to be more than a murderbot at this moment.

The hallway splits in two paths, with a large wooden door in the center. Penelope opens the door to find what appears to be an old, abandoned kitchen filled with cutlery of all kinds. As the halfling picks up a pair of scissors to examine, Alyndra casts detect magic and discovers the whole room lights up with transmutation magic. Just then the weapons in Penelope’s hands come to life and try to attack Keen, but Orkira’s warding flare activates and manages to cause the slash to miss. The rest of the room springs to life, including three massive furnaces that belch a horrific amount of fire. Most of the Heroes manage to dodge out of the way, Orkira and Keen resisting much of the damage while Penelope and Alyndra cast absorb elements. As the door slams shut on the kitchen the group take a moment to pat themselves out, and the cleric casts cure wounds on the druid and the wizard. 

It’s obvious something is causing objects to come to life with murderous intent, but they still need to discover who is responsible and why they would cause this to happen in the first place. They ask Jester Jab what the first thing it remembers, and the doll replies that it can recall a very nice man working on a huge machine, and gives directions to the “makers shop”. As the action figure is leading the way, Briv pulls Alyndra back to quietly admit that he thinks Jester Jab is actually quite evil and they should destroy it as quickly as possible. Alyndra agrees, and she casts detect thoughts on the doll to get its surface thoughts. However something goes very wrong and as her mind reaches out it is pulled completely into the toy body as Jester Jab takes over the elf body! 

Fortunately Jester Jab announces what has happened as it begins to rummage through the elf’s memories and items, leaving the rest of the group reeling with how to fix this new problem. As Briv demands the switch be reversed and smacks Jester Jab, the doll uses misty step to move away from everyone. Orkira approaches, asking Jester Jab to switch back, but pauses before casting remove curse as everyone panics that it will cause the change to be permanent. Keen asks Alyndra, trapped in the body of the doll, if she knows what is necessary to reverse what has taken place, while Jester Jab starts examining the items on the wizard’s body before dropping them to the ground. Alyndra warns against casting remove curse, so Briv takes the doll and casts protection from evil and good so she has another chance to break free. As Jester Jab pulls out the cubic gate and presses one of the buttons, Alyndra manages to wrest control of her body back and return Jester Jab to the doll. However the portal still opens and she falls through into the Elemental Plane of Fire, with all of her friends close behind.

Standing among the flowing lava rivers, the Heroes confirm that Alyndra has regained her correct body again. Orkira is excited to be back on the plane where her god resides, but knowing the portal will close shortly she tells Briv to throw the Jester Jab in the lava. The paladin is sad that Jester Jab was confirmed to be evil, and throws the action figure into the lava where it sinks to its doom. Everyone rushes back to Wildemount before the portal closes again, where Penelope asks if the wizard had access to the doll's memories when she was trapped in that body. Alyndra remembers everything the doll did, including where the creation forge is, and also finds she has become highly proficient with knives. 

As the group follow Alyndra towards the forge, the plane of fire has inspired Keen to ask everyone to be prepared to burn many of the small murderous dolls, even suggesting they use the cubic gate to reopen the portal. Briv suggests they use the item to finally just go home, though the rest point out that they were paid to do a job and should at least figure out what is going on to keep Hupperdook safe. They come across one of the gelatinous cubes from earlier, and Alyndra suggests they convince the creature to help destroy all the evil dolls they will encounter. Penelope's attempts to talk with it fail as she doesn’t speak its language, but Alyndra includes the cube in the telepathic bond and suddenly the group is introduced to Jerry the Gelatinous Cube. The druid asks Jerry to make friends with all of the dolls and give them a big hug, and the cube is happy to help, joining them down the stairs until they reach a large locked iron door. As Briv attempts to pick the lock with the magic metal he can exude from his finger, the lock suddenly forms a mouth and attacks! Meanwhile both of Alyndra’s weapons, Logic and Reason, suddenly leap to life and attack Penelope! Orkira manages to prevent the sword slash with her warding flare, but the mace still connects with the druid’s side. As the two weapons flee back up the stairs, Penelope casts dispel magic on the door and successfully stops it from coming to life. 

The doors open to a massive active forge, and nearby is a long dead gnome who’s body is being meticulously cared for by hundreds of Jester Jab dolls. Jerry squeezes through the door as all the animated objects charge forward, but they are all swept up and engulfed by the gelatinous cube. There’s even a mint condition special edition rare variant Jester Jab, though by the time Jerry is finished Briv can only recover a tiny arm. Alyndra casts detect magic and examines the room as well as the furnace, and discovers that there was some kind of infectious magic radiation that awakened anything it touched. She believes the source was one of the Jester Jab dolls now dissolving inside of Jerry, but the furnace itself also requires a remove curse, which Orkira is happy to provide.

The cubic gate suddenly jumps out of Alyndra’s bag of holding as it has also gained sentience, announcing “This is going to be a lot of fun!” before vanishing through its own planeshift!

As the Heroes recover from the shock of losing their potential way home, Keen wonders if they should talk with the gnome whose body was so carefully tended to for so many years and try to find out why such an awful series of events was put into motion. Despite her discomfort, Orkira casts speak with dead on the body of the inventor, and after apologizing profusely asks what he was doing and why. The gnome responds that he was making toys to bring a little joy and magic into his life. When asked what went wrong that caused them to be evil, he sadly admits that it was his fault for making some of the toys mean. Briv wants to know where the parts were sourced but the dragonborn is reluctant to go after cursed toy parts, and on Keen’s suggestion asks about the gnome's last wishes or requests for what to do with his body. The gnome is indifferent and suggests throwing the body into the furnace to be burned, which the dragonborn appreciates. Keen suggests just asking about a special edition Jester Jab, so Orkira finally requests any information on the location of non-evil rare variants the gnome might know about. The gnome gives the address of a safe house he used to have where he had buried behind the porch just such a special edition doll, and with five questions answered the body once again goes limp. Orkira places it in the furnace and casts create bonfire to respectfully cremate the gnome, while Alyndra says a few prayers to Oghma and Briv gives a brief eulogy of thanks to the toymaker for years of joy.

There are several artificer tools and books of rituals describing what the gnome was doing, so Keen collects them as proof to their employer that they discovered and resolved the issues in the sewers. Then the Heroes track down Logic and Reason and remove curse on them so Alyndra can have her beloved weapons back, and head to the gnomish safe house to dig up a rare toy behind the porch…

Meanwhile, on the Elemental Plane of Fire, the skeleton of Jester Jab pulls itself out of the river of lava. Horrifically scorched, it vows revenge as the cubic gate appears. “I think you and I should have a conversation, I think we have a mutual enemy, and I have a plan.”

The problem under the sewers has been solved! Where will the Heroes head next, and what trouble will the cubic gate cause? Find out Wednesday April 29th at 2pm PT on twitch.tv/dndbeyond!

Lauren "Oboe" Urban is the Community Manager for D&D Beyond, as well as a professional classical musician on oboe and English Horn. When she's not playing a Bard in real life she's a prolific Dungeon Master and player on a variety of livestreams and podcasts. She lives in Seattle, Washington with her husband Luke where they spend their free time playing video games and drinking tea. The best way to keep up with Lauren's busy schedule is to follow her on Twitter @OboeLauren!