Your memory is absolute even during bloodlust! You can trace back before the binding & remember the Ether/Twighlight.

Born Lycanthrope Feature: Hybrid Form Control Twice a day, you may transform into your hybrid state, taking up one action. In this form you grow to roughly 8 or 9 feet tall and cannot communicate verbaly. Your speed increases to 40ft, your hitpoint maximum is increased by temporarily you cannot use armor or weapons, but your AC becomes 13 + your Strength Modifier, and unarmed attacks now rely on a d4 in base form and d10 in hybrid form. More so, you become resistant to all forms off non-magical physical damage but are vulnerable to silvered weapons (this carries on even in base form). You have advantage on Perception and Intimidation rolls. You must succeed a DC 10 Wisdom saving throw to revert back, also taking up one action. While you can control your form most days, on nights of the full moon, you must remain concious otherwise you will transform into a frenzied version of yourself that can only be stopped by being knocked unconcious, ingestion of your sedation potion, spells such as Calm Emotions or Charm Person , or the dissaperance of the moon*. If you choose to transform on one of these nights, you can not add your wisdom modifier to your transformation saving throw. If you fail to revert to base form, you go into a frenzy and attack any creature within sight. Frenzy can also be set off by the taste of fresh meat when in base form. You can not transform for 6 hours following ingestion of a sedation potion, after which you can transform again without fear of entering a frenzy. The affects of the potion wear off after 24 hours or after a transformation. *Note, the dissaperance of the moon does not count by simply going indoors, it's light must be completly blocked from the nearby area of at least 500 ft by clouds, magical means , or it setting.