Hell's Assistant

"Someone has to keep this place running, and it sure as Hell isn’t Satan."

You’re not a damned soul, a warlock, or a fiend—you're something far more important: the one who does all the paperwork. The hierarchy of Hell is a tangled mess of bureaucracy, and without someone keeping track of all the contracts, curses, and corporate memos, the whole place would fall apart. You’re that someone. Devils fear their archdukes, demons revel in chaos, but everyone dreads the assistant who actually enforces deadlines and makes sure their boss doesn’t double-book an apocalypse.

You’ve become so good at your job that even outside the infernal realms, you naturally fall into the role of the one who "handles things." You have a spine of steel, a glare that can cow even the most bloodthirsty warlord, and an uncanny ability to organize literally anything—even a demon invasion.

Skill Proficiencies: Your uncanny ability to read people, discern their true intentions, and leverage their weaknesses makes you an expert at navigating tricky situations, both in the mortal realm and the infernal. You can often tell when someone is about to break a contract or is lying about their debts, and your calm yet firm demeanor allows you to persuade others to comply with your demands—whether they’re devils, demons, or mortals.

Tool Proficiencies: The paperwork never ends, and only you can keep it all in order. You are proficient with either calligrapher's supplies, using fine pens and ink to document infernal contracts, or a forgery kit, allowing you to craft flawless duplicates of written agreements and official documents that would hold up in Hell's court. Either way, you’re the one who ensures that everything is signed, sealed, and filed away properly.

Languages: As Hell’s Assistant, you’ve become fluent in the language of devils and demons. You can read, write, and speak Infernal, which is useful when interpreting ancient contracts, deciphering diabolical agreements, and handling the legalese that runs Hell’s operations. The knowledge of this language also gives you an edge when dealing with fiends in their own tongue, making you a trusted authority in negotiations and dealings within the Lower Planes.

Equipment:  

• A perfectly organized ledger containing the debts and dealings of Hell, both past and present.
• A quill made from a fallen angel's feather, capable of writing in any language, and sometimes its own.
• A cup of coffee that replenishes itself, though it always tastes slightly burnt, no matter what you do.
• A wax seal bearing the insignia of a devil lord or higher-up in Hell, ensuring that your authority cannot be easily questioned.
• A collection of infernal contracts, both real and forged, some with names that you do not recognize.

 

Suggested Characteristics

Hell’s Assistant embodies the perfect blend of professionalism, patience, and thinly veiled exasperation. They are the backbone of infernal bureaucracy, unshaken by the horrors around them. Whether they take pride in their work or secretly dream of escaping the endless paperwork, their ability to remain composed in any situation makes them invaluable.

d8	Personality Trait
1	I maintain an eerie sense of calm, no matter how chaotic things become.
2	I speak in a monotone when annoyed, which is almost always.
3	I take meticulous notes on everything, including casual conversations.
4	I never raise my voice. True authority doesn’t need to shout.
5	I sigh in exasperation more than I actually speak.
6	I refer to everything as ‘company policy,’ even if no such policy exists.
7	I have a terrifying ability to make even demons feel guilty about missing deadlines.
8	I always have a backup plan—then a backup for the backup.

d6	Ideal
1	Efficiency. The world would run smoothly if everyone followed proper procedures. (Lawful)
2	Delegation. My true talent is getting others to do the work for me. (Neutral)
3	Damage Control. It’s not about preventing disasters, but about fixing them fast. (Chaotic)
4	Loyalty. If I serve, I do so with dedication—whether to Hell or my own ambitions. (Lawful)
5	Order Through Fear. I don’t need magic or swords; I just need to ask if someone “has a moment to talk.” (Evil)
6	Rebellion. One day, I will be the one running things… if I don’t quit first. (Any)

d6	Bond
1	I have a to-do list older than some civilizations.
2	A powerful devil still owes me for a past favor, and I intend to collect.
3	I once covered for a subordinate’s mistake, and now they feel indebted to me.
4	I know secrets about Hell’s hierarchy that could shake the foundations of its rule.
5	A mortal I once helped is now in a position of power, and I keep very close tabs on them.
6	The only thing I truly care about is keeping my perfect records intact.

d6	Flaw
1	I have no patience for incompetence, which includes most people.
2	I expect everyone to follow my instructions, regardless of rank or power.
3	I refuse to explain myself twice—if you don’t understand, that’s your problem.
4	Even outside of Hell, I demand everything be submitted in triplicate.
5	I sometimes ‘misplace’ important documents… if it benefits me.
6	I may be running the show, but I still have way too much paperwork.

Contacts

You have a network of fiends, infernal bureaucrats, and other beings who work for—or have worked for—Hell’s sprawling administration. These contacts can be useful for obtaining rare documents, learning about Hell’s inner workings, or finding individuals who owe you a favor. While most of these individuals are more likely to be devils, demons, or other fiends, your reputation as a key figure in Hell’s machinery gives you access to others who are deeply involved in the plane’s dealings.

• Devil-Lawyers: Devils that specialize in contract law and are usually willing to give you insight into difficult legal matters.
• Fiendish Archivists: Scholars of infernal history and bureaucracy who keep the records of Hell's activities. They can provide you with rare knowledge of ancient contracts and debts that might be of interest to you.
• Demon Mercenaries: Though their focus is on chaos, you know how to strike deals with demon mercenaries for specific tasks, either to smooth over an issue in Hell or to create distractions when necessary.
• Satan (or his world-equivalent): This one seems obvious, but it's probably gonna take you a couple voicemails to his personal cell for him to get off his lazy ass and do something.

d4	Contact
1	Devil-Lawyers: Devils that specialize in contract law and are usually willing to give you insight into difficult legal matters.
2	Fiendish Archivists: Scholars of infernal history and bureaucracy who keep the records of Hell's activities. They can provide you with rare knowledge of ancient contracts and debts that might be of interest to you.
3	Demon Mercenaries: Though their focus is on chaos, you know how to strike deals with demon mercenaries for specific tasks, either to smooth over an issue in Hell or to create distractions when necessary.
4	Satan (or his world-equivalent): This one seems obvious, but it's probably gonna take you a couple voicemails to his personal cell for him to get off his lazy ass and do something.