Special Arms Manufacturer (SAM Technician)

Though not all tools created by SAM technicians have to be complex, most are in a way that requires the wielder to do more math than normal to bring out their maximum potential. This subclass is essentially for those who want to spend a very long time creating elaborate contraptions that are wacky, zany and fun to exploit while in combat. DO NOT use this subclass if you are bad or don't want to spend time formulating paragraphs of information for a single item. If you want a calm and reasonable artificer experience, go play as another subclass right now and don't play as this class unless you're ready to pour everything into it. Still here? Alright you can keep reading.

Tinker's Soul

At 3rd level, you gain expertise in tinker's tools. If you somehow already have expertise in tinker's tools, you gain proficiency in another set of artisan's tools, or expertise in a set you already have proficiency in.

Overly Creative Thinking

At 3rd level, any item you create or modify that has at least 100 words as part of its available functions becomes too complicated for anyone but you to understand at a glance, and is assigned a general use that is determined by the DM. The general use must be an ability or feature that somewhat fits what the item looks like and is designed to do (a special gun could shoot a weak, basic projectile, or a special sword could cut like the unmodified version of itself). If a creature attempts to use your item without knowing what it does, roll a d6 and consult the following list of possibilities:

1 The item does nothing
2 The item works, but not at all in the way the wielder intended. For example, they could accidentally shatter a rock behind them when swinging a special sword. Consult your DM.
3 The item sparks, flashes, makes a noise or does something else similar, ultimately doing nothing but forcing the wielder to drop it. Once again consult your DM.
4-6 The item resorts to its general use, and the wielder no longer has to roll a d6 and instead goes immediately to its general use during all future uses.

If you wish to, you may spend 1 minute explaining what the item does to a creature via any means, at the end of which it must make a DC 13 intelligence check. On success, it learns how to use the item properly and permanently. On failure, it learns nothing and must receive another minute of instruction. If the creature already knows the general use, it automatically succeeds the check. Alternatively, you may use as your action to summarize the general use during your turn, but you will always have to dedicate a full minute for the creature to understand the item perfectly. The above is only true if you are telepathically or verbally communicating the instructions. Writing instructions causes the reader to fully understand the item in 1 minute without making an ability check, and creatures you can share feelings and knowledge with automatically know the general use of the item, and can use their turn to fully comprehend it.

Bag of Holding Exploit

At 5th level, your ability to modify items beyond recognition is getting out of hand, and you need a way to contain all the loose cables and ammunition, if your items even use ammo. As a result, you have decided that it's time to exploit the most powerful item of all: the bag of holding. In doing so, any item you make can be unrealistically smaller and lighter than it should be as the other components are stored within a device that acts similarly to a bag of holding. The one catch is that this item cannot be put into a bag of holding unless the device is deactivated, and all of the components take form the way you designed them to. If you attempt to put an item that uses the bag of holding exploit without deactivating it, the same phenomenon as if you had put a bag of holding into a bag of holding will occur. Be sure to tell your party about this before you accidentally kill someone.

Even More Overly Creative Thinking

At 5th level, you no longer have to have at least 100 words for an item to be affected by overly creative thinking, and can instead make anything look so bizarre that nobody can figure it out. Additionally, you can spend 1 minute analyzing any item that is overly creative to discover how it works, and you automatically know the general use of any overly creative items. While analyzing an item, you must maintain your concentration as if concentrating on a spell. If your concentration is broken, you fail to understand the item, and have to restart the analytical process.

Anti-Anti-Magic

At 9th level, you have come to the shocking realization that anti-magic exists and is very bad for things that use magic. As a result, you have developed anti-anti-magic, a unique way of protecting magical items and creatures from harm. To use anti-anti-magic, you must attach an anti-anti-magic pin into the item or creature you wish to protect. When this pin is attached, exposure to anti-magic will shield the creature or object it is attached to from the anti-magic for 1 minute. Once the minute is over, the pin fizzles out and breaks, rendering it useless until repaired. I would consider this pin as quite difficult to make, but consult your DM for the specifics of how to make it in your particular campaign.

Good Idea! Mind If I Steal It?

At 9th level, you know exactly how to build an item you have have seen from within 50ft and analyzed. You do not need to touch or even be close to the item, only see it from a distance. To analyze the item, you must spend your action looking at it after which you memorize its function. If the item is used while you happen to be looking at it, you may instead use your reaction to memorize its function. You may only have one item memorized at once until you either write your thoughts down, or build the item. This ability does not work on overly complicated items unless you understand them fully.

That's A Nice Item! Mind If I Break It?

At 15th level, you know how to instantly stop things from working the way they are supposed to. As a result, you may cause an item you can touch, even if you aren't holding it, to stop working by wedging a small piece of scrap into it or by some other similar means. The DM decides what exactly the item does from then on. To use this ability on overly complicated items, you have to understand them first. The damage is not permanent, and as a result the item can be fixed quite easily. To fix the item, a creature must make a DC 12 insight check during their turn. On success, they yank out whatever is stopping the item from working. On failure, they can't quite figure it out yet and the item remains broken.