Stench

You haven't taken a bath or shower or bothered to clean yourself in a long time. After all that time on the open road, adventuring and fighting and all that, you've *really* started to reek. You suffer Charisma -2 and have disadvantage on Persuasion checks, Performance checks, and Stealth checks. (This is cancelled out by proficiency in these skills.) However, all enemies with a sense of smell suffer disadvantage to hit while making melee attacks against you. In addition, melee enemies will prefer to attack other party members if they are approximately the same distance away.

Clean off, dude.