Clever Distraction

There are those who possess great magic, some peerless skill, others owe their success to bow or blade.  You, adventurer, are sarcastic and blessed with a quick wit.  With a well timed retort you vex your enemies at the most inopportune time.  You gain the ability to use the Distract and Annoy features associated with this feat, but you must roleplay them out.  For example, when using a feature granted by this feat a you cannot say "I use Annoy to annoy the target" or "My character says something witty."  You have to come up with something witty to say and you must say it.  Attempts to use these features without roleplaying them automatically fail and give one creature of the DM's choice Inspiration, something you were clearly lacking. 

• Increase your Intelligence or Charisma score by 1, to a maximum of 20.
• Distract. With a sly insult or subtle provocation you attempt to distract a creature, drawing their focus to your words.  As a bonus action, you target one creature within 60 ft. that can hear and understand you.  Make a contested Charisma (Deception) check against the target's Wisdom (Insight). If your roll prevails the target becomes distracted by your snarky remarks.  Until the beginning of your next turn the target suffers a penalty to Wisdom (Perception) checks equal to your Charisma modifier.  
• Annoy. With a sarcastic retort you can attempt to rattle the ego of a creature within range.  As a reaction, which you take when a creature within 30 ft.  that can hear and understand you makes an attack roll or ability check, make a contested Charisma (Intimidation) check against the  target's Wisdom (Insight).  If your roll prevails the target's mental preparedness is thrown off. The next attack roll or ability check (until the beginning of your next turn) attempted by the target is made at disadvantage. 
• On each of your subsequent turns you can use your action to continue the witty reparte and automatically maintain the effects of either of these features, for up to one minute or until concentration is lost (as if concentrating on a spell).  For each turn that you use your action to do so, the target  suffers a -2 penalty to ability checks and to attack rolls made against any creature other than you.  However, due to the creature's annoyance and focus on you, attack and damage rolls made by the target against you gain a bonus of +2.
• These features only work on creatures that can hear and understand your words.  A creature with an Intelligence score of 4 or less is immune to these effects.  
• It takes time, wit, and creativity to come up with remarks sufficient to provoke a response.  You need a minimum Intelligence score of 11 to take this feat.  You can use either feature granted by this feat twice and must complete a short or long rest before doing so again.