Your character seems to get distracted or stumble in all the right places accidentally dodging bullets, narrowly missing blows, and staying completely oblivious at the same time.
All sneak attacks have disadvantage no matter the circumstance and if your character rolls a critical failure, roll a D6 and take one of the following effects:
If you roll a...
1: it is a normal critical failure
2: you somehow give second hand embarrassment to all enemies in a 20 foot radius near you and they have disadvantage on their next attack towards you
3: you are now prone but the next attack misses you
4: you take a huge swing and when you miss the creature you were aiming for the momentum carries you, you spin around and hit one creature directly behind you, including allies. If not attacking it is a normal critical miss
5: you embarrass the person you were trying to effect with your roll (can include you) and they now have the fear condition towards everyone in a 20 foot radius
6: it turns into a critical success but the next attack on you has advantage
you and your DM can have fun with this creating silly encounters and conversations. Just keep an eye out for your DM randomly saying "[enter name], you bend down and pick up a cool rock and a slight breeze ruffles your hair..."
Hope you enjoy!
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