OMG Do you enjoy chaos? Or rules ruining you life??? Are you a wild magic sorcerer who feels like the dice gods hate the possibility of chaos??? Then this is the feat for you! Now with a brand new table.
Also, because I am a being of chaos myself add +3 to your Charisma and -1 to your wisdom and intelligence. This is a fun feat, not a wise or intelligent one. Also each morning that you wake up not dead roll a D20 for temporary hit points.
Instead of only hitting on a roll of 20 the Chaotically Chaotic table hits when the number is odd, just like you! So when your dice have that odd number roll your D100 to determine what effect takes place from the table below. A PDF can be provided at your request, I can guarantee I have it next to me when you are rolling rolling rolling.
The Chaotically Chaotic Table of Max Chaos:
1: Oh shit... you summoned a Greater Death Dragon. Roll a Charisma save, if you make it friend, if you do not well who knows what will happen. You don't look like food right??? Right????
2. You teleport immediately 15 feet in a random direction. (Roll a D4, 1 East, 2 South, 3 North 4 West)
3. Roll again twice, both effects happen at the same time.
4. Turn a random party member into a potted plant for the next 30 seconds.
5. You speak only in rhymes for 5 minutes.
6. Sparkle Sparkle *****. You glow and sparkle for 10 minutes. Nothing can stop this.
7. You case darkness 60-foot radius, nothing can drop this spell. No one can see anything.
8. You case silence in a 60-foot radius, nothing can drop this spell.
9. You case summon Asmodeus. Roll some dice, evens it's the bad demon, odd it's Asmodeus from Helluva Boss, aka the fun spicey one.
10. We are sorry the magic you are trying to reach has been disconnected for the next 10 minutes, if you feel you have reached this message in error you haven't. Run ***** run!
11. Case fireball centered on anything you choose. But this is a big fireball, the biggest ever. 80-foot radius, 13 D12 damage.
12. Pikachu I choose you, Summon a lightening elemental, state like a fire elemental but electricity instead of fire.
13. All doors within 60 feet whisper your secrets.
14. You become a Kaiju for 10 minutes.
15. A spectral disco ball appears over you for 10 minutes, everyone within 30 feet of you has disadvantage on stealth checks.
16. You grow 1d10 feet taller for 1 hour.
17. Bah you are a sheep.
18. A terrifying rift appears above you, 3 giant heads pop through, it's time to lip-synch for your life.
19. Your next sentence becomes prophetic, the DM decides how.
20. You sneeze violently and cast Fog Cloud.
21. Shots shots shots!! Everybody within 30 feet gets drunk. Disadvantage on all rolls except charisma.
22. Every cat within 1 mile of your location knows where you are.
23. Your next spell deals max damage!!!
24. Your next spell deals minimum damage.
25. You gain true sight for 1 hour.
26. You gain Darkvision out to 300 feet for the next hour.
27. Why are there so many numbers??? Roll 2 D20, save the rolls and replace 2 rolls before sunrise the next day. Can be any roll.
28. You summon an extraplanar customer service representative who demands paperwork.
29. You are cursed with cartoon physics, all fall damage is saved for the best comedic timing until the next sunrise.
30. You gain proficiency in a random skill for 24 hours.
31. Your tears become gemstones for the next hour. Time to cry.
32. Every creature within 30 feet of you sprouts glowing antlers for the next 24 hours.
33. For the next 10 minutes you speak/read/understand all languages but you can't speak at all.
34. Teeth, I am so sorry every spell you cases shoots teeth at the person you are targeting. For the next 24 hours. 1D6 damage physical and 2D10 damage psychological.
35. Your next spell makes it rain male skeletons. They don't help or hurt but it's raining men.
36. All nearby glass cracks simultaneously.
37. A tiny moon appears over your head and follows you for 24 hours.
38. Insects start a cult with you as their god. For the next 24 hours insects follow and worship you. They will try and sacrifice themselves to you.
39. A portal opens to the Fey Wild. Something waves and asks your name...
40. All you do is win win win, the next 3 attacks are successful. Role for damage only.
41. Your bones glow through your skin.
42. You understand racoons perfectly.
43. You smell like soup forever.
44. A fairy steals one sock forever.
45. Spectral clowns follow you until the next sunrise.
46. Your next spell targets only you.
47. You cast 2 cantrips at the same time.
48. You can case a leveled spell as a bonus action.
49. You can case wish. But all the normal wish spell things can happen.
50. A tiny dragon insults you.
51. You gain advantage on chaos somehow.
52. OMG bestie! You duplicate yourself.
53. The sky cracks visibly.
54. Everyone within 1 mile levitates.
55. The DM must invent a new law of physics.
56. Your hands become spectral racoon paws for 1 minute.
57. You gain resistance to all damage but can only scream for 10 minutes.
58. A random nearby creature gains a mustache. This stays until shaved.
59. You smell like cinnamon for the next hour.
60. You can speak with plants for the next 10 minutes.
61. OMG you grow a beard.
62. You summon an egg. Roll a D6 for what kind of egg.
63. Your eyes become spinning galaxies for 1 minute. You are blinded.
64. You become a giant bat for the next minute. You can still cast spells in this form.
65. You summon Captain Plant who lectures you about pollution.
66. Close enough to 666 you summon a demon.
67. You gain 1000 Gold
68. You loose all your gold in a Ponzi scheme.
69. Hehe, you have advantage on your next Charisma role.
70. You summon Mothman.
71. You can only moonwalk for movement for the next 1 hour.
72. A hostile goose appears and hates you.
73. Your fantasy Air B&B Fails. You lose all your money.
74. OMG Gordan Ramey made you lunch, you and anyone you share with (1 person max) gets advantage on your next 2 rolls after eating as an action.
75. You case polymorph and succeed on a party member. Who did you polymorph and into what??? You have 10 seconds or the GM decides.
76. Every candle in the multiverse screams when lit for the next 24 hours.
77. You become Kaiju Gacu for the next 1 minute.
78. It rains coins, cooper and they hurt. The rain is a 50 foot radius centered on you. Take 3d10 physical damage.
79. Dealers choice.
80. You become a potato for the next 1 minute.
81. Roll again.
82. You and 1 friend win a free 1-minute trip to the astral plane.
83. An enemy of yours wins a 1-minute trip to the astral plane.
84. Wanted posters appear of you everywhere you have ever traveled.
85. If you send 10 Gold to A Goblin of the Deep to help him reclaim his crown he will reward you handsomely by either making you his queen or sending you 500 Gold.
86. You can only cast necromancy spells for the next 10 minutes.
87. All spells case for the next 10 minutes automatically trigger the Chaotically Chaotic Table. (You roll every time you cast)
88. You summon Kat Williams who casts vicious mockery dealing 1D100 damage.
89. This girl is on fire. You are on fire, but it doesn't do any damage.
90. Every time you speak soap bubble float out of your mouth.
91. You can only speak in boyband lyrics for the next 1 minute.
92. You cast power word kill as your next spell.
93. OMG we are so close this has taken hours. Time stops for you and only you for the next 2 rounds. Have fun, make it wierd.
94. Your third eye opens and you see all. You have advantage on all perception rolls for the next 10 minutes.
95. Staying alive staying alive. You have a healing light radiating off of you. All creatures within 60 feet gain half their hit points back.
96. What is the best Weezer Album? If you answer correctly, you get 20 temporary hit points that can stack until sunrise.
97. You don't need sleep for a long rest, you can power nap for 2 minutes and get the effect of a long rest once on the day you roll this.
98. Your next attack is a crit.
99. You have 99 problems but a ***** ain't 1. Ignore damage caused by females for the next 1 minute.
100. This table is toxic and so are you for the next 10 minutes you have cone of poison.
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