Lenmarks' Lack-Of-Loquacious Levity

The messenger had died of his wounds while the party had defended itself from his attackers. As he laid dying, he passes off his urgent message to one member of the party (determined by a hidden 1d6 roll made by the DM, who chuckled at the result). As the five others fought off the hired thugs sent to kill the messenger, one was receiving  instruction from the messenger, spending the rest of his life telling what he had given his life for.

[DM] "The Messenger is dead, and the message has been passed to Uck."

[Mark, as player] "So... the important message was passed to the guy whose Intelligence is a 3 and can only speak in 3-letter words?"

[DM] "Yep."

Jersey, playing Uck the Orc, whose Intelligence is 3 and can only talk in 3-letter words, is reading the small note that the DM has handed him. It is a small paragraph that details a part of the plot the DM has in store for the party. Jersey is given five seconds to read it and hands it back to the DM.

[Mark, as PC] "So, what did it say?"

Jersey delves deep into his personal reservior of English to make this somehow work.

[Uck] "Mad bad guy... um... has box... got... in bit... has go big hit in it!"

Jersey hangs his head and shakes it sadly. He really did try, regretting those two extra ability die he got to use to make five rolls for Strength... but at the price of only having 1d6 for his Intelligence Ability, the other two going to Strength. Having a 27 for Strength was great for opening doors, but not so much for little things like reading, speaking, and thinking.

Lenmarks' Lack-of-Loquacious Levity is an option taken upon Character Creation to add two d6 to a singular Ability score of players' choice, potentially giving them a 5d6 (and up to a max of 30) to a singular Ability for a Level 1 character. To avoid the obvious Mary Sue, the extra 2d6 ability die comes from the player characters' Intelligence, leaving them with a 1d6 Intelligence Ability roll and a flaw/disadvantage based upon the permanent results of a 1d4 roll.

1. Fun-Filled Three Letter Words - The PC cannot speak anything more complex than 3-letter words. Such difficult words such as 'kill', 'fight', enemy', and 'gold' are beyond you. You can't even swear. You also can't read, solve puzzles, figure out traps, or read a map.
2. The Ritalin Hasn't Kicked In Yet... - The PC is horrifically, even hysterically, easily distracted by shiny objects, even in combat. Upon every turn by the PC, they must roll an Intelligence save (and their walloping negative INT modifier) or be distracted by some trinket, babble, or some other pretty (DM's discretion). The distracted PC is 'mesmerized' during their turn and is only limited to admiring shiny object, to end at the end of PC's turn or when taking damage.
3. Bite The Hand That Feeds - The PC is easily confused... including just whom they are fighting. During battle, the PC must roll an Intelligence save (again, negative INT modifier) and on a fail, will start fighting the party instead for their turn (nearest party member). If the party attacks back, PC becomes convinced that they, too, are the bad guys. This ends either at the end of the turn, when the enemy NPC attacks the PC, or if the attacked party member makes an Intelligence roll and convinces PC he's aimed at the wrong direction.
4. Bull In A China Shop - The Pc's legendary strength and physique is only matched by their humbling stupidity. They are breaking fragile things around them all the time, and what most people avoid doing by rote (like not shattering crockery mugs in their hands when drinking) the PC must roll to save in order to avoid doing. Such fragile items include crockery, doors (opening and closing), wooden items, small animals, tiny humanoids, hollow metal objects (such as urns), any pretty much anything made of glass (like windows, drinking glasses, and various paraphernalia). Normal interiors inside domiciles, inns, courts, and towers are especially fragile to you.