❤ I laughed entirely too much from just the phrase alone.
Excellent point, though. Only thing to add from here is that you could probably use the Pact of the Chain Imp to do the thing, but... why not both? Two little minions running around is better than one.
I disagree with the MADness issue. This would be a charisma focused build with enough intelligence to qualify for alchemist.
If Hex + EB is what is going to happen in 90% of combats, I don't see the lack of intelligence as a problem when fighting. Heat Metal provides an excellent concentration replacement that performs a different role and doesn't care about DC (targeting armor of course). Web is useful as environment shaping even with a mediocre DC. Tiny Servants is another combat amplifier that doesn't care about intelligence. The Artificer list is stronger on utility spells as a whole.
The whole point is to replace the Alchemist's terrible combat prowess with the eminently acceptable warlock routine. Sure, the build will have fewer Alchemist prep slots, heal a little less with healing word and elixirs and need to be more careful about curating spell prep, but those things seem like they are either a minor deficiency (healing stuff) or can be worked around to a very reasonable degree (number of prep slots hurts, but the warlock list and strong cantrip game should help quite a bit). Alchemical Savant being used less frequently, and dealing less damage is a bummer, but agonizing blast and hex boosted EB's are outperforming what that could do anyways.
I think the shitty elixirs look much better when you can create up to two per short rest and control the outcome. It's not lighting the world on fire, but I think it's quite a neat trick to have.
A Variant Human build (+1 dex, +1 int) could start with Actor (+1 cha) and pull off these starting stats with the intention of boosting Charisma when possible: 8 | 14 | 12 | 16 | 8 | 16. The build could easily afford going down to 13/14 intelligence to boost wisdom or constitution depending on the builder's taste. I get that lower intelligence makes a number of Artificer spells worse, but I think there are enough options that don't care about intelligence to come up with a solid list regardless.
You can also take artificer adept feat, so you can use your alchemist supplies for warlock spells. Yes EB is force but you can use the savant for all of your spells
You could sacrifice Intelligence for Charisma, sure. You'd be losing artificer spell prep slots, sabotaging your artificer DC, losing Magical Tinkering slots, losing uses of Flash of Genius, and sabotaging the power of Flash of Genius. You lose a lot by pitching Intelligence on artificers. People like to say Magical Tinkering is worthless and also often like to complain about Flash of Genius being a 'late-game, overhyped thing that's just less-good Bardic Inspiration', but your charlatan character model here seems like the type that would benefit greatly from being able to produce Minor Magical Marvels on command (and exactly the sort who wouldn't care that they'd disappear after he left), and I can say from play experience that Flash of Genius is really ****ing good when you get it high enough to really matter. +3 to three checks or saves per day isn't astonishing, no - but +5 to five checks or saves a day is a much better deal. Especially if there is no bard offering Inspiration left and right, or if your bard is a Swords bard that uses all their Inspiration dice for flourishes.
There's also the matter of save DC/attack modifier. Yes, you can plan around using spells where it doesn't matter either as much or at all, but that puts a heavy limit on what you can bring to the field. Deciding ahead of time that anything reliant on a DC is a no-go for your low-IQ artificer cuts off a lot of spells you could otherwise use as needed. I would posit whether being a basic warlock in combat is worth being a bad artificer every time you're not in combat.
Now, in this specific instance you could probably get away with it. 16 is fine for a starting artificer, and if you don't ever bother with any other feats you can get an 18 in one and a 20 in the other by 12th level. Which stat gets the nod would depend on how the character falls in with his party and whether he trends more shooty-bangbang or more MacGuyver utiliguy. You'd have eleven levels to figure that decision out in play, at least. But I have to squinty-eye at any build plan that involves ignoring Intelligence on an artificer.
Don't forget that you can make the "helm of intellect" which makes your intelligence 19. yes you have to be 12 level but that's doable.
It's less about forbidding 'something cool' and more about closing an exploit. What you're referring to is basically Coffeelocking, if from a novel new angle, and some DMs just do not hold any truck with Coffeelocking. You're stockpiling Wild Chemistry experiments rather than spell slots, but the same engine is being used to do both. As per a discussion I had earlier on Coffeelocking: a short rest is at least an hour long, but that doesn't mean a DM is obligated to let each individual hour qualify as its own unique short rest. All depends on the specifics of your table and what your DM is comfortable letting you get away with.
A familiar can technically use any action save the Attack action (chainlock notwithstanding), but many DMs will ask how, precisely, a familiar is going to administer an elixir to someone without the benefit of hands. Many familiars are smaller/lighter than a flaskful of elixir - if a player told me "My spider carries this healing elixir over to Ogbert the Axehanded and administers it", that player would get a distinct DM Fry Meming and the statement "Okay. Explain how a spider is going to lug a liquid-filled flask thousands of times its mass over to Oggie, unscrew the cap, and pour it down the man's throat in six seconds. If your real-life BS roll is high enough, I'll let you have it."
Your homunculus servant, on the other hand? Prior to Wizards ruining the Alchemist because the community are a bunch of potion-wanking ass goblins, delivering elixirs to teammeates was explicitly its job. Most DMs would be much more inclined to let your homunculus administer elixirs than a Familiar with no hands and animal-level intelligence.
I understand the similarities between Elixir production and the Coffeelock, but I think coming out of a long rest with 8 elixirs is a far cry from never resting again and having infinite spell slots because of it. Like I said, I'm sure this will turn off plenty of DMs. I'm aware of the ire something like this could draw and would absolutely be willing to tone it down to appease the rule of law if it meant me being able to do it at all. I just don't see it as a problem like the coffeelock obviously is. The elven warlock/alchemist build (warchemist? alclock? chemlock? chemlock.) is way less streamlined than a sorlock, has less to look forward to as it levels ( I mean its a freakin alchemist) and has a much smaller pay off to show for it all. I would never argue this with a DM of course and would simply ask how they felt about chaining short rests as my character makes elixirs and then spends time in between taking notes and concocting new recipes. I'd be happy if one let me do even a single short rest while everyone else was sleeping. Just want more of these damn elixirs.
Y'know, I always manage to forget about the homonculus servant. That's exactly what I need. I was planning on using a monkey familiar for the hands. Monkey familiars are a thing right? Anyways, I was definitely cognizant of the hands thing and how ridiculous it is for most familiars to administer a potion. I was thinking about spellwrought tattoo but that just seems like a roundabout solution when homonculus servant is staring me in the face. It's easily the choice that is most likely to get a yes from the DM and it's great flavor.
As an actual-factual goblin I'm a bit offended by this term "ass goblin". Go pick on the orcs 😜
The Headband of Intelligence is a great item for this build, I'm just never going to plan anything around something I would unlock at 14th level at the earliest. I'm pretty set on focusing on intelligence over charisma, relying on Enhanced Arcane Focus and Boldness Elixir to keep me accurate like a full charisma warlock.
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❤ I laughed entirely too much from just the phrase alone.
Excellent point, though. Only thing to add from here is that you could probably use the Pact of the Chain Imp to do the thing, but... why not both? Two little minions running around is better than one.
You can also take artificer adept feat, so you can use your alchemist supplies for warlock spells. Yes EB is force but you can use the savant for all of your spells
Don't forget that you can make the "helm of intellect" which makes your intelligence 19. yes you have to be 12 level but that's doable.
I understand the similarities between Elixir production and the Coffeelock, but I think coming out of a long rest with 8 elixirs is a far cry from never resting again and having infinite spell slots because of it. Like I said, I'm sure this will turn off plenty of DMs. I'm aware of the ire something like this could draw and would absolutely be willing to tone it down to appease the rule of law if it meant me being able to do it at all. I just don't see it as a problem like the coffeelock obviously is. The elven warlock/alchemist build (warchemist? alclock? chemlock? chemlock.) is way less streamlined than a sorlock, has less to look forward to as it levels ( I mean its a freakin alchemist) and has a much smaller pay off to show for it all. I would never argue this with a DM of course and would simply ask how they felt about chaining short rests as my character makes elixirs and then spends time in between taking notes and concocting new recipes. I'd be happy if one let me do even a single short rest while everyone else was sleeping. Just want more of these damn elixirs.
Y'know, I always manage to forget about the homonculus servant. That's exactly what I need. I was planning on using a monkey familiar for the hands. Monkey familiars are a thing right? Anyways, I was definitely cognizant of the hands thing and how ridiculous it is for most familiars to administer a potion. I was thinking about spellwrought tattoo but that just seems like a roundabout solution when homonculus servant is staring me in the face. It's easily the choice that is most likely to get a yes from the DM and it's great flavor.
As an actual-factual goblin I'm a bit offended by this term "ass goblin". Go pick on the orcs 😜
The Headband of Intelligence is a great item for this build, I'm just never going to plan anything around something I would unlock at 14th level at the earliest. I'm pretty set on focusing on intelligence over charisma, relying on Enhanced Arcane Focus and Boldness Elixir to keep me accurate like a full charisma warlock.