I'm not sure if this is the right section to post this in, so please tell me if I need to move it.
Ok so relevent people, who will have fake names just in case.
Me: AasimarHexblade.
Dave the problem player: Human paladin.
Jim: The DM.
Theres also two other players, my brother a tabaxi rouge, and the dms friend, a wizard half elf. They don't really do anything major though.
Jim, the two others, and I have been playing for a few months, Jim recently invited Dave to our game, and Dave has instantly caused problems. Our session starts and Dave wont let us do anything, it takes us forty minutes to walk out a door, Dave keeps talking every time Jim tries to explain whats going on. We finaly manage to complete a combat, and we keep going for a little bit, I'll spare you the details since it's not relevent to the campaign. Dave starts making some very nasty jokes, that probably shouldn't be at the game table. He directed some of them at the npcs and continued to talk while we were doing important things.
We decide to break for dinner but when we come back for the second half of our session, we dont even start to do anything, Dave starts making his jokes again. This time they arent directed at anyone in particular thank goodness, but this continues and continues for the rest of the night and no one says anything about it, I keep asking to start but every time we try to get back into the game Dave comes up and starts talking again. eventually we have to end the session, where we did one combat, talked to a few npcs, and walked out a door. The session ends and Dave starts to complain about how we didn't do anything, and how we should go on for longer.
His jokes are making me extremely uncomfortable, and the constant talking is making it impossible to get anything done. It's really bothering me, because we only get to play once or twice a month, and I legitimately enjoy my time with the group and want to be able to enjoy it without the jokes and derailing.
Please help me.
Also sorry for any spelling mistakes, I'm on mobile and am not used to typing this way.
This is one of those posts that have come up before, and the best advice I always see on them is this: take this post to your group, with or without Dave. Explain why it's problematic to you, and see how your group feels. If people agree with you, then it's best to probably kick the problem player. If everybody agrees with Dave, then that means it's less problematic for the group. If that's the case, then you either need to figure out a way to deal with it if possible, but if not then your best bet is to leave.
But overall, the biggest takeaway is that you need to talk to your group, not us.
I understand this might be difficult socially, but you can absolutely speak up about this the moment it comes up. If something makes you uncomfortable or hurts you or even just stops you from having fun, you don't have to get the group's permission to make a thing out of it. Try and do so in a reasonable and civil manner of course, but your enjoyment is no less important than anyone else's.
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Want to start playing but don't have anyone to play with? You can try these options: [link].
You can also privately speak to the DM about your concerns in general. For the inappropriate jokes, I would call that out as they happen. "I'm sorry, Dave. That's not appropriate. Please stop." You can also call him out on interrupting the DM (or other players) with "Please let them finish."
I'm not sure if this is the right section to post this in, so please tell me if I need to move it.
Ok so relevent people, who will have fake names just in case.
Me: Aasimar Hexblade.
Dave the problem player: Human paladin.
Jim: The DM.
Theres also two other players, my brother a tabaxi rouge, and the dms friend, a wizard half elf. They don't really do anything major though.
Jim, the two others, and I have been playing for a few months, Jim recently invited Dave to our game, and Dave has instantly caused problems. Our session starts and Dave wont let us do anything, it takes us forty minutes to walk out a door, Dave keeps talking every time Jim tries to explain whats going on. We finaly manage to complete a combat, and we keep going for a little bit, I'll spare you the details since it's not relevent to the campaign. Dave starts making some very nasty jokes, that probably shouldn't be at the game table. He directed some of them at the npcs and continued to talk while we were doing important things.
We decide to break for dinner but when we come back for the second half of our session, we dont even start to do anything, Dave starts making his jokes again. This time they arent directed at anyone in particular thank goodness, but this continues and continues for the rest of the night and no one says anything about it, I keep asking to start but every time we try to get back into the game Dave comes up and starts talking again. eventually we have to end the session, where we did one combat, talked to a few npcs, and walked out a door. The session ends and Dave starts to complain about how we didn't do anything, and how we should go on for longer.
His jokes are making me extremely uncomfortable, and the constant talking is making it impossible to get anything done. It's really bothering me, because we only get to play once or twice a month, and I legitimately enjoy my time with the group and want to be able to enjoy it without the jokes and derailing.
Please help me.
Also sorry for any spelling mistakes, I'm on mobile and am not used to typing this way.
This is one of those posts that have come up before, and the best advice I always see on them is this: take this post to your group, with or without Dave. Explain why it's problematic to you, and see how your group feels. If people agree with you, then it's best to probably kick the problem player. If everybody agrees with Dave, then that means it's less problematic for the group. If that's the case, then you either need to figure out a way to deal with it if possible, but if not then your best bet is to leave.
But overall, the biggest takeaway is that you need to talk to your group, not us.
I know what you're thinking: "In that flurry of blows, did he use all his ki points, or save one?" Well, are ya feeling lucky, punk?
Thanks for the advice, I'll see if I can bring it up to them.
I understand this might be difficult socially, but you can absolutely speak up about this the moment it comes up. If something makes you uncomfortable or hurts you or even just stops you from having fun, you don't have to get the group's permission to make a thing out of it. Try and do so in a reasonable and civil manner of course, but your enjoyment is no less important than anyone else's.
Want to start playing but don't have anyone to play with? You can try these options: [link].
Thank you so much, I'll make sure to keep this in mind when it comes up.
You can also privately speak to the DM about your concerns in general. For the inappropriate jokes, I would call that out as they happen. "I'm sorry, Dave. That's not appropriate. Please stop." You can also call him out on interrupting the DM (or other players) with "Please let them finish."
Thank you, I think I'll start with that before talking to the whole group.
Talk with everyone, then try to bump Dave out the door.
No Gaming is Better than Bad Gaming.