Unfortunately I haven't been playing that long so there's not a lot to pick from but 2 memorable moments so far:
1. My first time DM'ing about 3 weeks ago, I ran the starter campaign with a group of 3 people (and an NPC), and they arrived at Barthen's Provisions. One of the players (a Dragonborn fighter) is chatting up Barthen and asks if he has a wife. Being a new DM and all (and not having thoroughly read the adventure yet), my response (in an old man's voice) was "Let me check". This then led to me realizing the text didn't say one way or the other, so I followed up the previous response with "What day of the week is it again?" and then made up that he has an ex-wife. This then turned into the Dragonborn trying to find and "get with" Barthen's ex-wife until he discovered to his disappointment that she was 5 towns away. This has been a running joke every time they go into Phandalin since then.
2. DM'ing the same campaign for a separate group of 3, I had an NPC that was a Half-Elf sorcerer that was basically half Dumbledore, half Gandalf named Gandore.
And Gandore had a drinking problem.
Upon arriving in Phandalin for the first time, he immediately purchased and downed a gallon of ale at the inn, proceeded to almost wreck Barthen's shop while the other players were talking among themselves (had 2 new players so I had to teach them a lesson that time in-game doesn't stop for your discussions), and then be dragged back to the Inn by one of the other players where I had them make a strength check (which they failed), so Gandore broke free and ran to the bar for another gallon of ale.
When the adventurers woke the next morning, all they saw was a Mage Hand coming down from a top bunk to grab a bucket and then vomiting noises
Honorable Mention: When one of the Dragonborn Fighters jokingly said "I shove my morningstar up the Goblin's ass" and then rolled a Nat 20 and I graphically described the goblin being slowly split apart by her morningstar
Playing 5e with some friends, and everyone at 4th level, we were at the final fight. We were fighting a wizard(archmage) on small pillars of stone with endless abyss below. The fight started off fairly well as the wizard was trapped in place. When he got lose however, he proceeded to repeatedly fireball members of the party with with damage that was very close to instant death. Our cleric was gone so our paladin was our healer. After being sent to death saving throws a few times, my wizard jumped over a chasm, ran up to the wizard and used thunderwave, hoping to knock him into the abyss. It worked but the enemy was at 1 hit point anyway. This entire battle astonished our DM because he had set it up to be an impossible battle with a Deus ex machina where an ally swooped in to save the day. Not only was the enemy several times a deadly encounter, he had boosted the health to 300 instead of the normal 99. Needless to say, lots of xp afterward.
This took place during Out of the Abyss. We were a level 9 party, and I was playing with Delg, my mountain dwarf wizard. My Shield Guardian had a Haste spell stored in it, and we had the magic item that let us summon an Earth Elemental once per day. Our forward guard came running back to us, having been ambushed by Juiblex. Whereas Delg wanted to do the sensible thing and find a way around the demon lord, everybody else in the party wanted to go all in. I was badly outvoted. Thankfully, the DM was generous enough to let me cast Magic Weapon on the Earth Elemental (so its attacks would be treated as +1 magic weapon attacks) and let my Shield Guardian use the +1 warhammer given to us by the Order of the Gauntlet. When the fight began, I used one of my portents to avoid going mad by looking at Juiblex. Our paladin used Dawnbringer and some very lucky hits to deal a massive amount of damage to Juiblex before getting devoured the next turn because she had forgotten to level up four times. Our cleric forgot that he had Spirit Guardians up and so didn't do as much damage as he should have. Our warlock kept rolling low on his Eldritch Blast attacks and not doing any damage at all. Juiblex climbed the wall and hung to the ceiling, and our cleric was able to just barely able to keep the knocked out paladin alive inside it. The Earth Elemental and Shield Guardian were able to partially climb the wall and use their reach to hit Juiblex, the elemental being most useful. Delg meanwhile used either Fireball or Magic Missile, but for some reason, Juiblex seemed to have more hitpoints after being reduced to half health than during the first half of the fight. Delg also attempted using Shatter to knock Juiblex off the ceiling. Juiblex dropped onto the cleric and devoured him over the course of a few turns, during which it also took out the warlock. Delg kept firing off Magic Missiles and Fireballs. Juiblex killed the Shield Guardian in two turns (I was saddened by that). Juiblex then devoured the unconscious warlock and turned its attention to Delg. Delg was knocked out in one hit of the acid blast. Having formed a bond with the Gauntlet veterans with the party, I asked if they would come forward to heal me with a potion I'd given them earlier while Juiblex killed the elemental. At this time, the many vials of Holy Water the cleric had with him got digested and exploded inside the demon lord. I was revived and fired off my last Magic Missile. Juiblex went down, but the DM refused to declare combat over. On Juiblex's next turn, it regenerated. I had no idea up until then that it did that, unless hit by fire or radiant damage. I point out that the Holy Water did radiant damage. The DM suddenly had this mysterious look on his face, smiled, did a retcon on Juiblex getting up, and Delg got enough experience to level up to 12, as well as all the magic items the party had.
My character was an evil bard. He came into town and the first thing he does is finds a lost child and sends her off into the highly dangerous desert alone. Then he finds her parent who is minding a vegetable cart and tells him that his daughter just ran off into the desert alone. The parent takes off after her, leaving the cart. He then attempts to steal the vegetable cart, but with nothing to carry it, settles for the best vegetables on the cart (10 rations). He then proceeds to the meeting place with the party and finds a bar owner annoyed about a couple acting lovey-dovey in the corner. He casts charm person on the guy and has the guy break up with his girlfriend. The tavern owner is happy that they've left and gives the guy a job playing for the night. He plays and makes money after meeting with the others to discuss the adventure they're going on the next day. That night he winds up getting attacked in the inn by some elves that he had shady dealings with before and winds up losing a nipple in a knife fight and running naked through the streets screaming for help. He winds up sleeping naked under the abandoned vegetable cart (the parent and child never returned).
I love this character and he's saved the party's asses so many times so far this campaign. He recently had his soul almost stolen by demons and didn't under the stipulation that he has to provide the souls of others to replace his own. Right now he needs to take 4 souls to prevent his own from being taken. There are four other party members...
Update: He totally stole the souls of two party members. He stole the souls of monsters for the other two he needed.
My daughter's (12 y/o) first night playing D&D ever totally hooked her. She was playing a druid and the first encounter came across 3 chained wolves and some goblins. She was able to cast animal friendship on a wolf but the other 2 attacked the party and were killed. Without any coaxing she decided to pick up a dead wolf "for later use."
In the next hallway she was walking in front of everyone and came across 4 goblins and 2 bugbears. She decided to throw the dead wolf at the monsters and intimidate them. She rolled a natural 20 of course. Every monster ran away frightened and the party was able to pick them off one by on making the entire encounter much more manageable. She is still known around the table as "the crazy dead-wolf druid"
This took place during Out of the Abyss. We were a level 9 party, and I was playing with Delg, my mountain dwarf wizard. My Shield Guardian had a Haste spell stored in it, and we had the magic item that let us summon an Earth Elemental once per day. Our forward guard came running back to us, having been ambushed by Juiblex. Whereas Delg wanted to do the sensible thing and find a way around the demon lord, everybody else in the party wanted to go all in. I was badly outvoted. Thankfully, the DM was generous enough to let me cast Magic Weapon on the Earth Elemental (so its attacks would be treated as +1 magic weapon attacks) and let my Shield Guardian use the +1 warhammer given to us by the Order of the Gauntlet. When the fight began, I used one of my portents to avoid going mad by looking at Juiblex. Our paladin used Dawnbringer and some very lucky hits to deal a massive amount of damage to Juiblex before getting devoured the next turn because she had forgotten to level up four times. Our cleric forgot that he had Spirit Guardians up and so didn't do as much damage as he should have. Our warlock kept rolling low on his Eldritch Blast attacks and not doing any damage at all. Juiblex climbed the wall and hung to the ceiling, and our cleric was able to just barely able to keep the knocked out paladin alive inside it. The Earth Elemental and Shield Guardian were able to partially climb the wall and use their reach to hit Juiblex, the elemental being most useful. Delg meanwhile used either Fireball or Magic Missile, but for some reason, Juiblex seemed to have more hitpoints after being reduced to half health than during the first half of the fight. Delg also attempted using Shatter to knock Juiblex off the ceiling. Juiblex dropped onto the cleric and devoured him over the course of a few turns, during which it also took out the warlock. Delg kept firing off Magic Missiles and Fireballs. Juiblex killed the Shield Guardian in two turns (I was saddened by that). Juiblex then devoured the unconscious warlock and turned its attention to Delg. Delg was knocked out in one hit of the acid blast. Having formed a bond with the Gauntlet veterans with the party, I asked if they would come forward to heal me with a potion I'd given them earlier while Juiblex killed the elemental. At this time, the many vials of Holy Water the cleric had with him got digested and exploded inside the demon lord. I was revived and fired off my last Magic Missile. Juiblex went down, but the DM refused to declare combat over. On Juiblex's next turn, it regenerated. I had no idea up until then that it did that, unless hit by fire or radiant damage. I point out that the Holy Water did radiant damage. The DM suddenly had this mysterious look on his face, smiled, did a retcon on Juiblex getting up, and Delg got enough experience to level up to 12, as well as all the magic items the party had.
Oh yeah, I remember in that adventure my character had 3 magic swords at the end (Dawnbringer, a flametongue, and a +1 longsword), so that was just about all he was good for...
SPOILER ALERT: DO NOT read any further if you want or are currently playing Storm King's Thunder as this spoils the final boss fight.
So there we were. From LMoP to SKT, our group has played over a year together and we have lost loved ones and friends to the menacing giants and whoever is behind the kidnapping of King Hekaton. After sessions upon sessions of fighting, researching, traveling we finally identify Iymrith, The Doom of the Desert, as the main villain, the puppet master of the whole campaign. We spend one and a half tenday in preparing for this fight. King Hekaton awards us with giant potions to help us stand against an ancient blue dragon. I am playing Theodore Shortfoot, Level 10 Halfling Lore Bard, and I spent my time securing help with the Harpers and got all our party potions of lightning resistance. The paladin was visiting his pregnant wife in case the worst happens. The barbarian was training with the Storm Giants and praying he would return to his tribe. The warlock? Our last party member. Did something that I didn't expect. When it comes to his turn, he tells the DM that he wants to cast Dream on Iymrith.
The rest of us are confused, but this player is known for his out of the box thinking. The first time it fails, but eventually even big bad dragons need to sleep. He recreates her dreams showing her false visions of the battle to come. That the plan was the giants were going to attack the north with a massive force. But each night, the dream would show the giants were being beaten easily by Iymrith and pride was swelling within her breast. Eventually, the dragon caught on, and the DM asked our warlock to roll a deception check privately. And that's that. The rest of us begged to know the result; the DM did not heed us. After preparations, it was time to march to the final battle. My bard broke the solemn silence by gazing upon King Hekaton and saying, "I will bring you her head." King Hekaton nods for the bravado but doesn't expect much.
We arrive to a Colosseum surrounded by gargoyles. We strike first and in fact, got a surprise round against the minions of Iyrmith. Hekaton tells us to go below and find her and put her down and that they would hold off the horde of baddies. We make it below and we see Yuan-Ti performing a strange ritual. I am getting tired of not finding this dragon and losing time with our forces dwindling by the minutes, so I just say out loud, "I cast Fireball ." I blow most of the Yuan-Ti to pieces and we end up fighting them and wiping them out. Straight out of a movie, I say, "Come face us dragon! Come meet your doom!" Sure enough, Iymrith bursts forth through the sand beneath us and says, "Much Obliged." For suprise, she feared the barbarian and warlock.Now it's Roll Initiative.
We had both giant and lightning resistance potions consumed already so now it's just pre-buff phase. I use my instrument of the bard to cast Fly on the paladin and inspired the barbarian who is ass at wisdom saves and is not berserker. Paladin uses Vow of Emnity and just starts spanking this dragon dealing quite a bit of damage. The warlock goes and casts Blink. Iymrith goes (almost last due to poor rolling on DM's part) and she breathes powerful lightning on us but thanks to the potions, all of us that fail take half damage. She then flies around cackling at us. The barbarian goes and throws some javelins and rages. Back to me, I cast Arcane Hand (our DM rules that a magic item can concentrate on a spell as well as you) and ***** slap that dragon for some damage and then try to take cover. Our paladin flies to the dragon and hits once. On the second roll, it's a critical. He did 89 damage with one attack. Our warlock misses his attacks, fails his fear save, and blinks out. No recharge, Iymrith slashes at me for ***** slapping her and I hold concentration. The barbarian throws handaxes and misses. Things are getting tense, two of us are useless and I don't do much damage and the boss isn't bloodied.
I heal our paladin with a nice healing word and used my action to dodge in case of breath attack. The paladin flies in and launches two nasty attacks dealing close to 100 damage. Warlock still feared and blinks out. Iymrith recharges and decimates us yet again I succeeded and took 1/4 damage and lost concentration on my arcane hand. The paladin is below 20 points at this point. Things are looking horrible, but the barbarian steps into the paladin's range and is able to attack the dragon and bring her down closer to death. I then blow 7 charges of wand of magic missile and deal quite a bit of damage and inspire the paladin. The paladin, warlock, and barbarian tear into her as she tears into the barbarian bring him close. All of us are within breath range at this point. I am low on spell slots and just dodge and heal. The paladin gets some work in and enrages Iymrith. She doesn't recharge but she brings the paladin down and tears into his body. My character's best friend. I have to watch him get torn apart by this dragon. My character begins to wail and I am waiting for my turn. The barbarian swings and smashes the dragon but she is still hanging on. Fear in her eyes, it's to the death, there is no fleeing this battle. It finally comes to my turn, I am losing my mind and have no idea what to cast. I have one 5th level slot and that's it. We are all breathless. Silence in the discord channel. I tell the DM that I cast Arcane Hand and he says roll for the attack. I roll a 24 for 17 force damage. We are all waiting for our DM to say something. "Theo, how do you want to do this?" We are all screaming and shouting, I am jumping up and down in my room.
I fabricate the hand into existance and grab her head and tear it from her wretched body. I proceed to walk out with my best friend in my arms and the hand holding Iymrith's head. I throw her head at Hekaton's feet and said, "Told you I would bring you her head." Walked away like a badass. Eventually, I paid for a true resurrection for my friend with my share of the vast hoard that she had. I then roll a natural 20 resulting in a 34 for a performance and thus ended our grand campaign. That adventure is something I will never forget.
P.S. The warlock rolled high on the deception and Iymrith thought it was Klauth trying to mess with her hahahaha.
Once playing storm kings thunder, one of my players tried to stab one of the other players. He rolls d20. Gets nat. 20. I say he misses. He rolls again. Natural 20. Again.sadness.
As the DM this wasn't my favourite-- But the players sure loved it.
The party was in an underground facility of their ally, which had been overtaken by hobgoblins for some kind of narcotics operation. They were trying to locate a book, so snuck through the entire place (two potions of gaseous form, one wild shape and one polymorph) to get there without being seen. Once there they sorted through the library's traps, found what must be the book -- and then found themselves ambushed by the hobgoblin they were pretty certain (high insight) had seen them. A fight commenced with hobgoblins, goblins, and minotaur skeletons, and though party members went down a time or two, the party turned the battle in their favour.
And then the Mind Flayer Arcanist walked in. Turns out, the hobgoblins were the thrall of this Mind Flayer, who (for a reason the players have yet to discover) was also trying to get the same book. The Mind Flayer did her mind blast, and the party has low Intelligence as a whole, so they'll probably fail! Well-- They didn't. One just passed but the others rolled naturally above 17. The party's rogue tried to reason with the Mind Flayer, who agreed to talk. Another high insight check and they realized the Mind Flayer was lying, so the rogue fired her bow and a round of attacks went into the Mind Flayer. No problem, I thought. She has lots of health, two Hobgoblins (one warlord, one captain) and she's gonna blow a high level spell for Wall of Force to end this.
Seemed to go well. The Druid angled themselves for a Tidal Wave, and everyone succeeded on their saves. They didn't have enough movement to get out of the movement range of the hobgoblins, who went next and with one hit KOed the Druid (who had just been brought back after being KOed by a Minotaur Skeleton). Now, the Druid happened to have the book in their bag-- So, the other hobgoblin dragged the Druid's body back to where the Mind Flayer was to prep for that Wall of Force.
Then the final turn before the Mind Flayer: Our Sorcerer-Cleric. She moves. Uses the 1/lr charge on an item to Misty Step directly behind the Mind Flayer and Hobgoblin. Twins Inflict Wounds at 3rd level and touches them with one hand each. Rolls a hit on the Hobgoblin. Solid damage, but not a knock-out. Rolls a critical hit on the Mind Flayer. Rolls damage, not great-- But wait! Has just enough Sorcery Points to Empower. Empowers it, rolls much better. Mind Flayer takes 68 damage after taking around 40-50 over the previous round from the other characters. Mind Flayer is done.
It was such a clutch 20, it was such a perfect turn, it was so bad-ass. I can't hate it-- But damn, I was planning for that book to end up in a hive, and have the players do a Heist quest to get it safely. Instead, they destroyed the boss and got their book! And this is what I love about D&D.
way back in the days of Advanced D&D i used to allow my parties druid to cast flame trap on a bottle of oil, so that he could throw it as a small grenade type fireball effect in a 5 foot radius, you throw it the bottle breaks flame trap damage plus 1 D6 for the burning oil, a marvellous little wheeze.
SO knowing they're off on a long journey he spends the month that it took the rest of the party to do some research stocking up, they set off and he's got 32 bottles of oil all lovingly prepared in his back pack, , shortly after setting off they're attacked by a group of orcs with an ogre, he ended up with his back to the ogre which had a large rock and threw it at him.
The look on the players face when i informed him that all that remained of his druid were a pair of smouldering boots was priceless
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All plans turn into, run into the room waving a sword and see what happens from there, once the first die gets rolled
In my groups D&D campaigns I almost always play the idiotic character always with an intelligence of 8 or lower (sometimes of my own choice and sometimes declared by the fate of the dice). Our campaigns play like a bad game of Cards Against Humanity, with everyone either being really dull or obscenly over the top. One of my first characters ever played was a Rock Gnome Bard named Brick Brick. Through me stumbling my own words and the DM misinterpreting what I said, Brick decended into a fustercluck of insanity with about as much coherant character as a blob of ice cream. These are some of his best moments and stories.
- Brick was born but never knew his mother since she left him before he was born, leaving him to be raised by his father. His Rock Gnome village has a tradition where the first thing that lands upon a baby gnomes head is what they are named after, guess what fell on his head. Brick was raised by his father Boulder, who was grieving the loss of Bricks little brother Anvil who died young. His father was a blacksmith and would work endlessly to try and forget his grief. Due to his pudgy body and old hanging skin, his fathers eyelids began to droop so obscenely that they reached and trailed on the floor. In an attempt to live with his disfigurement, Bricks father joined the villages sports devision and entered into the sprint. On the national village championships, he was running the final stretch only to trip over his eyelids and break his neck in spectacularly sudden fashion. After Brick refused to take up the mantle of his fathers blacksmithing position, he was exiled from the village and adopted the surname Brick and became the start of his own new family tree. (Yes his origin story was that stupid, but the party rolled with it like when the DM rolled on the floor choking on cider when I explained his backstory) Now for some fun stories.
- We homebrewed a cantrip called Conjoure Footstool, which basically fabricated a small 1 foot tall footstool out of thin air that Brick would use to reach high places and to sell as a travelling footstool salesman. Working as a bartender Brick would often lend his footstools to drunks and fighters to use as improvised weapons as well as to allow the prostitutes in the back of the bar a place to rest their feet when he gave them pedicures every friday evening.
- As a Bard it was Bricks job to be the voice of reason, but with me in command this went about as well as one would expect from and intelligence of 7. There was an NPC in a state of shock from seeing an Elf (my previous character) being horrible decapiated by two tielfings while The Spanish Inquisition was present to witness the beheading. Brick attempted to calm the boy by stroking his head, but it went on for so long that the boy started to bleed from his cheek with the sheer speed of the stroking.
- A Wyvern assaulted the party, only Brick getting injured, and by injured I mean he got pricked by the wyvern tail so many times I managed to market him as a new brand of cheese he was so full of blood spurting holes.
- The final story, One of the party members has been in cahoots with the DM, playing a doppelganger of the halfling rogue she'd been playing. The fight was supposed to be pretty extensive, 3 party members against 2 doppelgangers, but in a fit of rage over the betrayal, Brick unleashed a Stinking Cloud. Since we were all as mature as 5 year olds, the cloud was expelled from Bricks buttocks and filled the whole 20 ft room. Thanks to bardic inspiration and an extraordinary stroke of luck, the whole party managed to survive their saving throws while the Doppelgangers were left wretching and vomiting the whole fight. Within 3 turns, one Doppelganger was reduced to nothing more than a pile of bones and the other Doppelganger was begging for forgiveness for the deceipt. Brick rolled a nat20 of an attack with a footstool, aiming to kill the batrayer. The following carnage was spectacular, with Brick beating the doppelganger so hard and so frequently she was reduced intoa fine grey paste within 30 seconds flat. The Half Orc and Dwarf in the party attempted to remove Brick from the assault on the corpse, but Brick succeeded a strength check against them and for another 5 minutes continued to beat the doppelgangers mushy remains into an almost liquid state.
After we turned the necromancer final boss into a frog and left the fallen Elven citadel, Brick returned to Neverwinter to work as a bartender in the Moonstone Mask once again. It is unknown what happened to him after that, he was now in possession of about 4 power rings, a pair of flying boots and a summonable elephant statue, but we always talk about bringing the original party characters back for a reunion campaign, where I intend to bring Brick Brick back bigger and stupider than ever. Brick 2 Elecbrick Boogaloo.
Thanks for reading the sheer stuoidity on display in our campaigns, trust me when i say Brick was an accidental character that I created in less than 5 minutes because my elf had been decapitated.
After a brief character introduction on DND Beyond to the other players describing my guy as being able to pass unseen when he wants to...then going out early in the campaign and getting a Nat 20 with a +7 bonus to stealth even though the distance was about 5 feet away so the guards never noticed a thing. It's fun to describe what you want to do and how your character will get there. It's even better when the dice agree with that idea.
"Okay Klee in addition to practicing with the Drow, I want you practice your balance. Let's start with standing for now." She activates her broom and demonstrates by standing upright on the handle while it hovers. Felicity motions for him to stand on the open space beside her.
Kleesal takes a try balancing on the broom
Dex check: 1
Ohhh, no... He tries to hop on the broom and failing miserably slips with both feet going in opposite directions he lands with a sickening crunch in his groin and falls to the ground holding his crotch and groaning loudly in pain
I was DMing a crack campaign with a couple gnolls, a kender, and a mousefolk. One of the gnolls was a ranger, and as they enter a room full of swarms of vipers, casts Speak with Animals to try and convince the snakes not to attack.
At the exact same time, the kender rogue throws a bottle of oil and the gnoll sorcerer sets it ablaze. The ranger had to listen to all of the snakes screaming in horror and pain as they slowly burned to death. He never cast Speak with Animals again.
So we were in this brothel (always a good start) and were going to beat up this guy who killed and abused dogs (a noble cause). The coward had locked himself in a room, and we didn't know how to get in. My gnome bard looks at our fire genasi sorcerer and says, "Hey Ann, you're pretty hot, right?"
One disguise check later, the fire genasi is dressed up as a stripper. And (even though he didn't need to, like, at all) our human wizard had casted Disguise Self to also pose as a stripper. So they knock on the door, and our fire genasi goes "Room service~"
Naturally, the guy is really jumpy, so he doesn't let them in. However, my gnome, a trickster by nature, had a lot of illusion spells, including Minor Illusion.
So I ask the DM, "Hey, can I cast Minor Illusion to make the sound of lewd moans?" The DM says yes.
And the guy buys it.
He lets our two party members in and they promptly kill him.
Had a player land a final blow using Shocking Grasp on a large creature by grabbing its balls and rolling a nat 20.
Unfortunately I haven't been playing that long so there's not a lot to pick from but 2 memorable moments so far:
1. My first time DM'ing about 3 weeks ago, I ran the starter campaign with a group of 3 people (and an NPC), and they arrived at Barthen's Provisions. One of the players (a Dragonborn fighter) is chatting up Barthen and asks if he has a wife. Being a new DM and all (and not having thoroughly read the adventure yet), my response (in an old man's voice) was "Let me check". This then led to me realizing the text didn't say one way or the other, so I followed up the previous response with "What day of the week is it again?" and then made up that he has an ex-wife. This then turned into the Dragonborn trying to find and "get with" Barthen's ex-wife until he discovered to his disappointment that she was 5 towns away. This has been a running joke every time they go into Phandalin since then.
2. DM'ing the same campaign for a separate group of 3, I had an NPC that was a Half-Elf sorcerer that was basically half Dumbledore, half Gandalf named Gandore.
And Gandore had a drinking problem.
Upon arriving in Phandalin for the first time, he immediately purchased and downed a gallon of ale at the inn, proceeded to almost wreck Barthen's shop while the other players were talking among themselves (had 2 new players so I had to teach them a lesson that time in-game doesn't stop for your discussions), and then be dragged back to the Inn by one of the other players where I had them make a strength check (which they failed), so Gandore broke free and ran to the bar for another gallon of ale.
When the adventurers woke the next morning, all they saw was a Mage Hand coming down from a top bunk to grab a bucket and then vomiting noises
Honorable Mention: When one of the Dragonborn Fighters jokingly said "I shove my morningstar up the Goblin's ass" and then rolled a Nat 20 and I graphically described the goblin being slowly split apart by her morningstar
Playing 5e with some friends, and everyone at 4th level, we were at the final fight. We were fighting a wizard(archmage) on small pillars of stone with endless abyss below. The fight started off fairly well as the wizard was trapped in place. When he got lose however, he proceeded to repeatedly fireball members of the party with with damage that was very close to instant death. Our cleric was gone so our paladin was our healer. After being sent to death saving throws a few times, my wizard jumped over a chasm, ran up to the wizard and used thunderwave, hoping to knock him into the abyss. It worked but the enemy was at 1 hit point anyway. This entire battle astonished our DM because he had set it up to be an impossible battle with a Deus ex machina where an ally swooped in to save the day. Not only was the enemy several times a deadly encounter, he had boosted the health to 300 instead of the normal 99. Needless to say, lots of xp afterward.
This took place during Out of the Abyss. We were a level 9 party, and I was playing with Delg, my mountain dwarf wizard. My Shield Guardian had a Haste spell stored in it, and we had the magic item that let us summon an Earth Elemental once per day. Our forward guard came running back to us, having been ambushed by Juiblex. Whereas Delg wanted to do the sensible thing and find a way around the demon lord, everybody else in the party wanted to go all in. I was badly outvoted. Thankfully, the DM was generous enough to let me cast Magic Weapon on the Earth Elemental (so its attacks would be treated as +1 magic weapon attacks) and let my Shield Guardian use the +1 warhammer given to us by the Order of the Gauntlet. When the fight began, I used one of my portents to avoid going mad by looking at Juiblex. Our paladin used Dawnbringer and some very lucky hits to deal a massive amount of damage to Juiblex before getting devoured the next turn because she had forgotten to level up four times. Our cleric forgot that he had Spirit Guardians up and so didn't do as much damage as he should have. Our warlock kept rolling low on his Eldritch Blast attacks and not doing any damage at all. Juiblex climbed the wall and hung to the ceiling, and our cleric was able to just barely able to keep the knocked out paladin alive inside it. The Earth Elemental and Shield Guardian were able to partially climb the wall and use their reach to hit Juiblex, the elemental being most useful. Delg meanwhile used either Fireball or Magic Missile, but for some reason, Juiblex seemed to have more hitpoints after being reduced to half health than during the first half of the fight. Delg also attempted using Shatter to knock Juiblex off the ceiling. Juiblex dropped onto the cleric and devoured him over the course of a few turns, during which it also took out the warlock. Delg kept firing off Magic Missiles and Fireballs. Juiblex killed the Shield Guardian in two turns (I was saddened by that). Juiblex then devoured the unconscious warlock and turned its attention to Delg. Delg was knocked out in one hit of the acid blast. Having formed a bond with the Gauntlet veterans with the party, I asked if they would come forward to heal me with a potion I'd given them earlier while Juiblex killed the elemental. At this time, the many vials of Holy Water the cleric had with him got digested and exploded inside the demon lord. I was revived and fired off my last Magic Missile. Juiblex went down, but the DM refused to declare combat over. On Juiblex's next turn, it regenerated. I had no idea up until then that it did that, unless hit by fire or radiant damage. I point out that the Holy Water did radiant damage. The DM suddenly had this mysterious look on his face, smiled, did a retcon on Juiblex getting up, and Delg got enough experience to level up to 12, as well as all the magic items the party had.
My daughter's (12 y/o) first night playing D&D ever totally hooked her. She was playing a druid and the first encounter came across 3 chained wolves and some goblins. She was able to cast animal friendship on a wolf but the other 2 attacked the party and were killed. Without any coaxing she decided to pick up a dead wolf "for later use."
In the next hallway she was walking in front of everyone and came across 4 goblins and 2 bugbears. She decided to throw the dead wolf at the monsters and intimidate them. She rolled a natural 20 of course. Every monster ran away frightened and the party was able to pick them off one by on making the entire encounter much more manageable. She is still known around the table as "the crazy dead-wolf druid"
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
Tooltips (Help/aid)
SPOILER ALERT: DO NOT read any further if you want or are currently playing Storm King's Thunder as this spoils the final boss fight.
So there we were. From LMoP to SKT, our group has played over a year together and we have lost loved ones and friends to the menacing giants and whoever is behind the kidnapping of King Hekaton. After sessions upon sessions of fighting, researching, traveling we finally identify Iymrith, The Doom of the Desert, as the main villain, the puppet master of the whole campaign. We spend one and a half tenday in preparing for this fight. King Hekaton awards us with giant potions to help us stand against an ancient blue dragon. I am playing Theodore Shortfoot, Level 10 Halfling Lore Bard, and I spent my time securing help with the Harpers and got all our party potions of lightning resistance. The paladin was visiting his pregnant wife in case the worst happens. The barbarian was training with the Storm Giants and praying he would return to his tribe. The warlock? Our last party member. Did something that I didn't expect. When it comes to his turn, he tells the DM that he wants to cast Dream on Iymrith.
The rest of us are confused, but this player is known for his out of the box thinking. The first time it fails, but eventually even big bad dragons need to sleep. He recreates her dreams showing her false visions of the battle to come. That the plan was the giants were going to attack the north with a massive force. But each night, the dream would show the giants were being beaten easily by Iymrith and pride was swelling within her breast. Eventually, the dragon caught on, and the DM asked our warlock to roll a deception check privately. And that's that. The rest of us begged to know the result; the DM did not heed us. After preparations, it was time to march to the final battle. My bard broke the solemn silence by gazing upon King Hekaton and saying, "I will bring you her head." King Hekaton nods for the bravado but doesn't expect much.
We arrive to a Colosseum surrounded by gargoyles. We strike first and in fact, got a surprise round against the minions of Iyrmith. Hekaton tells us to go below and find her and put her down and that they would hold off the horde of baddies. We make it below and we see Yuan-Ti performing a strange ritual. I am getting tired of not finding this dragon and losing time with our forces dwindling by the minutes, so I just say out loud, "I cast Fireball ." I blow most of the Yuan-Ti to pieces and we end up fighting them and wiping them out. Straight out of a movie, I say, "Come face us dragon! Come meet your doom!" Sure enough, Iymrith bursts forth through the sand beneath us and says, "Much Obliged." For suprise, she feared the barbarian and warlock.Now it's Roll Initiative.
We had both giant and lightning resistance potions consumed already so now it's just pre-buff phase. I use my instrument of the bard to cast Fly on the paladin and inspired the barbarian who is ass at wisdom saves and is not berserker. Paladin uses Vow of Emnity and just starts spanking this dragon dealing quite a bit of damage. The warlock goes and casts Blink. Iymrith goes (almost last due to poor rolling on DM's part) and she breathes powerful lightning on us but thanks to the potions, all of us that fail take half damage. She then flies around cackling at us. The barbarian goes and throws some javelins and rages. Back to me, I cast Arcane Hand (our DM rules that a magic item can concentrate on a spell as well as you) and ***** slap that dragon for some damage and then try to take cover. Our paladin flies to the dragon and hits once. On the second roll, it's a critical. He did 89 damage with one attack. Our warlock misses his attacks, fails his fear save, and blinks out. No recharge, Iymrith slashes at me for ***** slapping her and I hold concentration. The barbarian throws handaxes and misses. Things are getting tense, two of us are useless and I don't do much damage and the boss isn't bloodied.
I heal our paladin with a nice healing word and used my action to dodge in case of breath attack. The paladin flies in and launches two nasty attacks dealing close to 100 damage. Warlock still feared and blinks out. Iymrith recharges and decimates us yet again I succeeded and took 1/4 damage and lost concentration on my arcane hand. The paladin is below 20 points at this point. Things are looking horrible, but the barbarian steps into the paladin's range and is able to attack the dragon and bring her down closer to death. I then blow 7 charges of wand of magic missile and deal quite a bit of damage and inspire the paladin. The paladin, warlock, and barbarian tear into her as she tears into the barbarian bring him close. All of us are within breath range at this point. I am low on spell slots and just dodge and heal. The paladin gets some work in and enrages Iymrith. She doesn't recharge but she brings the paladin down and tears into his body. My character's best friend. I have to watch him get torn apart by this dragon. My character begins to wail and I am waiting for my turn. The barbarian swings and smashes the dragon but she is still hanging on. Fear in her eyes, it's to the death, there is no fleeing this battle. It finally comes to my turn, I am losing my mind and have no idea what to cast. I have one 5th level slot and that's it. We are all breathless. Silence in the discord channel. I tell the DM that I cast Arcane Hand and he says roll for the attack. I roll a 24 for 17 force damage. We are all waiting for our DM to say something. "Theo, how do you want to do this?" We are all screaming and shouting, I am jumping up and down in my room.
I fabricate the hand into existance and grab her head and tear it from her wretched body. I proceed to walk out with my best friend in my arms and the hand holding Iymrith's head. I throw her head at Hekaton's feet and said, "Told you I would bring you her head." Walked away like a badass. Eventually, I paid for a true resurrection for my friend with my share of the vast hoard that she had. I then roll a natural 20 resulting in a 34 for a performance and thus ended our grand campaign. That adventure is something I will never forget.
P.S. The warlock rolled high on the deception and Iymrith thought it was Klauth trying to mess with her hahahaha.
Once playing storm kings thunder, one of my players tried to stab one of the other players. He rolls d20. Gets nat. 20. I say he misses. He rolls again. Natural 20. Again.sadness.
As the DM this wasn't my favourite-- But the players sure loved it.
The party was in an underground facility of their ally, which had been overtaken by hobgoblins for some kind of narcotics operation. They were trying to locate a book, so snuck through the entire place (two potions of gaseous form, one wild shape and one polymorph) to get there without being seen. Once there they sorted through the library's traps, found what must be the book -- and then found themselves ambushed by the hobgoblin they were pretty certain (high insight) had seen them. A fight commenced with hobgoblins, goblins, and minotaur skeletons, and though party members went down a time or two, the party turned the battle in their favour.
And then the Mind Flayer Arcanist walked in. Turns out, the hobgoblins were the thrall of this Mind Flayer, who (for a reason the players have yet to discover) was also trying to get the same book. The Mind Flayer did her mind blast, and the party has low Intelligence as a whole, so they'll probably fail! Well-- They didn't. One just passed but the others rolled naturally above 17. The party's rogue tried to reason with the Mind Flayer, who agreed to talk. Another high insight check and they realized the Mind Flayer was lying, so the rogue fired her bow and a round of attacks went into the Mind Flayer. No problem, I thought. She has lots of health, two Hobgoblins (one warlord, one captain) and she's gonna blow a high level spell for Wall of Force to end this.
Seemed to go well. The Druid angled themselves for a Tidal Wave, and everyone succeeded on their saves. They didn't have enough movement to get out of the movement range of the hobgoblins, who went next and with one hit KOed the Druid (who had just been brought back after being KOed by a Minotaur Skeleton). Now, the Druid happened to have the book in their bag-- So, the other hobgoblin dragged the Druid's body back to where the Mind Flayer was to prep for that Wall of Force.
Then the final turn before the Mind Flayer: Our Sorcerer-Cleric. She moves. Uses the 1/lr charge on an item to Misty Step directly behind the Mind Flayer and Hobgoblin. Twins Inflict Wounds at 3rd level and touches them with one hand each. Rolls a hit on the Hobgoblin. Solid damage, but not a knock-out. Rolls a critical hit on the Mind Flayer. Rolls damage, not great-- But wait! Has just enough Sorcery Points to Empower. Empowers it, rolls much better. Mind Flayer takes 68 damage after taking around 40-50 over the previous round from the other characters. Mind Flayer is done.
It was such a clutch 20, it was such a perfect turn, it was so bad-ass. I can't hate it-- But damn, I was planning for that book to end up in a hive, and have the players do a Heist quest to get it safely. Instead, they destroyed the boss and got their book! And this is what I love about D&D.
way back in the days of Advanced D&D i used to allow my parties druid to cast flame trap on a bottle of oil, so that he could throw it as a small grenade type fireball effect in a 5 foot radius, you throw it the bottle breaks flame trap damage plus 1 D6 for the burning oil, a marvellous little wheeze.
SO knowing they're off on a long journey he spends the month that it took the rest of the party to do some research stocking up, they set off and he's got 32 bottles of oil all lovingly prepared in his back pack, , shortly after setting off they're attacked by a group of orcs with an ogre, he ended up with his back to the ogre which had a large rock and threw it at him.
The look on the players face when i informed him that all that remained of his druid were a pair of smouldering boots was priceless
All plans turn into, run into the room waving a sword and see what happens from there, once the first die gets rolled
In my groups D&D campaigns I almost always play the idiotic character always with an intelligence of 8 or lower (sometimes of my own choice and sometimes declared by the fate of the dice). Our campaigns play like a bad game of Cards Against Humanity, with everyone either being really dull or obscenly over the top. One of my first characters ever played was a Rock Gnome Bard named Brick Brick. Through me stumbling my own words and the DM misinterpreting what I said, Brick decended into a fustercluck of insanity with about as much coherant character as a blob of ice cream. These are some of his best moments and stories.
- Brick was born but never knew his mother since she left him before he was born, leaving him to be raised by his father. His Rock Gnome village has a tradition where the first thing that lands upon a baby gnomes head is what they are named after, guess what fell on his head. Brick was raised by his father Boulder, who was grieving the loss of Bricks little brother Anvil who died young. His father was a blacksmith and would work endlessly to try and forget his grief. Due to his pudgy body and old hanging skin, his fathers eyelids began to droop so obscenely that they reached and trailed on the floor. In an attempt to live with his disfigurement, Bricks father joined the villages sports devision and entered into the sprint. On the national village championships, he was running the final stretch only to trip over his eyelids and break his neck in spectacularly sudden fashion. After Brick refused to take up the mantle of his fathers blacksmithing position, he was exiled from the village and adopted the surname Brick and became the start of his own new family tree. (Yes his origin story was that stupid, but the party rolled with it like when the DM rolled on the floor choking on cider when I explained his backstory) Now for some fun stories.
- We homebrewed a cantrip called Conjoure Footstool, which basically fabricated a small 1 foot tall footstool out of thin air that Brick would use to reach high places and to sell as a travelling footstool salesman. Working as a bartender Brick would often lend his footstools to drunks and fighters to use as improvised weapons as well as to allow the prostitutes in the back of the bar a place to rest their feet when he gave them pedicures every friday evening.
- As a Bard it was Bricks job to be the voice of reason, but with me in command this went about as well as one would expect from and intelligence of 7. There was an NPC in a state of shock from seeing an Elf (my previous character) being horrible decapiated by two tielfings while The Spanish Inquisition was present to witness the beheading. Brick attempted to calm the boy by stroking his head, but it went on for so long that the boy started to bleed from his cheek with the sheer speed of the stroking.
- A Wyvern assaulted the party, only Brick getting injured, and by injured I mean he got pricked by the wyvern tail so many times I managed to market him as a new brand of cheese he was so full of blood spurting holes.
- The final story, One of the party members has been in cahoots with the DM, playing a doppelganger of the halfling rogue she'd been playing. The fight was supposed to be pretty extensive, 3 party members against 2 doppelgangers, but in a fit of rage over the betrayal, Brick unleashed a Stinking Cloud. Since we were all as mature as 5 year olds, the cloud was expelled from Bricks buttocks and filled the whole 20 ft room. Thanks to bardic inspiration and an extraordinary stroke of luck, the whole party managed to survive their saving throws while the Doppelgangers were left wretching and vomiting the whole fight. Within 3 turns, one Doppelganger was reduced to nothing more than a pile of bones and the other Doppelganger was begging for forgiveness for the deceipt. Brick rolled a nat20 of an attack with a footstool, aiming to kill the batrayer. The following carnage was spectacular, with Brick beating the doppelganger so hard and so frequently she was reduced intoa fine grey paste within 30 seconds flat. The Half Orc and Dwarf in the party attempted to remove Brick from the assault on the corpse, but Brick succeeded a strength check against them and for another 5 minutes continued to beat the doppelgangers mushy remains into an almost liquid state.
After we turned the necromancer final boss into a frog and left the fallen Elven citadel, Brick returned to Neverwinter to work as a bartender in the Moonstone Mask once again. It is unknown what happened to him after that, he was now in possession of about 4 power rings, a pair of flying boots and a summonable elephant statue, but we always talk about bringing the original party characters back for a reunion campaign, where I intend to bring Brick Brick back bigger and stupider than ever. Brick 2 Elecbrick Boogaloo.
Thanks for reading the sheer stuoidity on display in our campaigns, trust me when i say Brick was an accidental character that I created in less than 5 minutes because my elf had been decapitated.
"That still only counts as one!" -Gimly lol great story
After a brief character introduction on DND Beyond to the other players describing my guy as being able to pass unseen when he wants to...then going out early in the campaign and getting a Nat 20 with a +7 bonus to stealth even though the distance was about 5 feet away so the guards never noticed a thing. It's fun to describe what you want to do and how your character will get there. It's even better when the dice agree with that idea.
!!!!!! Oh shit!!!!!!!
This just happened in PbP game I'm running :)
"Okay Klee in addition to practicing with the Drow, I want you practice your balance. Let's start with standing for now." She activates her broom and demonstrates by standing upright on the handle while it hovers. Felicity motions for him to stand on the open space beside her.
Kleesal takes a try balancing on the broom
Dex check: 1
Ohhh, no... He tries to hop on the broom and failing miserably slips with both feet going in opposite directions he lands with a sickening crunch in his groin and falls to the ground holding his crotch and groaning loudly in pain
That's what happens when you wear a helmet your whole life!
My house rules
I was DMing a crack campaign with a couple gnolls, a kender, and a mousefolk. One of the gnolls was a ranger, and as they enter a room full of swarms of vipers, casts Speak with Animals to try and convince the snakes not to attack.
At the exact same time, the kender rogue throws a bottle of oil and the gnoll sorcerer sets it ablaze. The ranger had to listen to all of the snakes screaming in horror and pain as they slowly burned to death. He never cast Speak with Animals again.
If you need it, I can homebrew it.
LOL, oh man that sucks!
That's what happens when you wear a helmet your whole life!
My house rules
This happened during our first session.
So we were in this brothel (always a good start) and were going to beat up this guy who killed and abused dogs (a noble cause). The coward had locked himself in a room, and we didn't know how to get in. My gnome bard looks at our fire genasi sorcerer and says, "Hey Ann, you're pretty hot, right?"
One disguise check later, the fire genasi is dressed up as a stripper. And (even though he didn't need to, like, at all) our human wizard had casted Disguise Self to also pose as a stripper. So they knock on the door, and our fire genasi goes "Room service~"
Naturally, the guy is really jumpy, so he doesn't let them in. However, my gnome, a trickster by nature, had a lot of illusion spells, including Minor Illusion.
So I ask the DM, "Hey, can I cast Minor Illusion to make the sound of lewd moans?" The DM says yes.
And the guy buys it.
He lets our two party members in and they promptly kill him.
"You are a slave. Want emancipation?"
-Persona 5