Just recently I had a large argument with wha to used to call friends over the fact that they always cancel a few hours before playing adn say we will do it next week but someone has an excuse on that day as well
During our argument one of them called me selfish and entitled because I was the only one complaining.
A few hours ago I was going through social media and it turned out that they actually went out without me when they claimed they had work.
Just recently I had a large argument with wha to used to call friends over the fact that they always cancel a few hours before playing adn say we will do it next week but someone has an excuse on that day as well
During our argument one of them called me selfish and entitled because I was the only one complaining.
A few hours ago I was going through social media and it turned out that they actually went out without me when they claimed they had work.
If everything you are saying is true, it's not only selfish but they are also gaslighting you. Blaming you when in reality they decided to have different plans that don't include you? That's some bullshit.
These aren't your friends, and it isn't a D&D issue. It's a social issue. Remove them from your social circle and preserve your mental health.
You have every right to leave for any reason. This particular situation though is clearly an irl issue of you having shitty people in your social circle. Dump them and dump the group.
Normally I'd say it's only selfish if you don't tell them you're leaving and give everyone time to reorganise what is now their game, but when they've excluded you from the same activity that you've been trying to organise - and lied about it - you should drop them. You needn't say anything, they want to use and abuse your time. You're worth more than that. Find a group of people who actually want to play and will be adult enough to tell the truth.
I wish you the very best in joining a new group.
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Zero is the most important number in D&D: Session Zero sets the boundaries and the tone; Rule Zero dictates the Dungeon Master (DM) is the final arbiter; and Zero D&D is better than Bad D&D.
"Let us speak plainly now, and in earnest, for words mean little without the weight of conviction."
Normally I'd say it's only selfish if you don't tell them you're leaving and give everyone time to reorganise what is now their game, but when they've excluded you from the same activity that you've been trying to organise - and lied about it - you should drop them. You needn't say anything, they want to use and abuse your time. You're worth more than that. Find a group of people who actually want to play and will be adult enough to tell the truth.
I wish you the very best in joining a new group.
THIS!
You are fully in your right to leave the group and find another based on the situation you've described; it's sad the adventure fell apart but you will be happier playing with other people.
We don't know all the ins and outs. For example, how long has it it been happening for? If it's been happening for two weeks because of COVID-19 self isolations and then you flipped out so when they got out of isolation, they went out but didn't feel like inviting you as a one off, there's not much going for you. Suck it up and move onward with them, if they'll let you.
If it's been happening for over a year, then I'd say the game has collapsed (at least as far as you're concerned) and there's nothing to inform them that you're pulling out of. That sucks and I feel bad for you, and you don't have anything to be selfish about.
Without more details on why they're pulling out, how much notice they're giving, how often it's happened and how long this has this has going on for, no one can really give you an objective view. It's just a but of soapbox.
At the end of the day though, regardless of who is to blame, if it's notmworking for you, it's not working. Selfish or not, you're best bowing out if you can't get it to work.
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If you're not willing or able to to discuss in good faith, then don't be surprised if I don't respond, there are better things in life for me to do than humour you. This signature is that response.
If it were me, and I was sure I hadn't done anything to offend/upset the group, I'd just move on without worrying about it. If they care, they'll ask and you can tell them the truth.
Lying to you is lame and unreasonable regardless of whatever else is going on.
Sorry you're going through this. I hope you find another group soon that's actually worth your time.
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Just recently I had a large argument with wha to used to call friends over the fact that they always cancel a few hours before playing adn say we will do it next week but someone has an excuse on that day as well
During our argument one of them called me selfish and entitled because I was the only one complaining.
A few hours ago I was going through social media and it turned out that they actually went out without me when they claimed they had work.
Sounds like more of a social issue than a game issue. Clearly they don't want to play and you should feel fine just leaving.
It's selfish to string someone along with promises of holding a regular game and then canceling at the last minute every time.
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
I'd just drop that game, find another, and let your regular social life develop as if it never happened. You can't make people like you.
Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt
If everything you are saying is true, it's not only selfish but they are also gaslighting you. Blaming you when in reality they decided to have different plans that don't include you? That's some bullshit.
These aren't your friends, and it isn't a D&D issue. It's a social issue. Remove them from your social circle and preserve your mental health.
You have every right to leave for any reason. This particular situation though is clearly an irl issue of you having shitty people in your social circle. Dump them and dump the group.
Er ek geng, þat er í þeim skóm er ek valda.
UwU
Normally I'd say it's only selfish if you don't tell them you're leaving and give everyone time to reorganise what is now their game, but when they've excluded you from the same activity that you've been trying to organise - and lied about it - you should drop them. You needn't say anything, they want to use and abuse your time. You're worth more than that. Find a group of people who actually want to play and will be adult enough to tell the truth.
I wish you the very best in joining a new group.
Zero is the most important number in D&D: Session Zero sets the boundaries and the tone; Rule Zero dictates the Dungeon Master (DM) is the final arbiter; and Zero D&D is better than Bad D&D.
"Let us speak plainly now, and in earnest, for words mean little without the weight of conviction."
- The Assemblage of Houses, World of Warcraft
THIS!
You are fully in your right to leave the group and find another based on the situation you've described; it's sad the adventure fell apart but you will be happier playing with other people.
If y'all haven't played in ages, sounds like the game already left.
It's fine to end the game. Just be up front about it.
We don't know all the ins and outs. For example, how long has it it been happening for? If it's been happening for two weeks because of COVID-19 self isolations and then you flipped out so when they got out of isolation, they went out but didn't feel like inviting you as a one off, there's not much going for you. Suck it up and move onward with them, if they'll let you.
If it's been happening for over a year, then I'd say the game has collapsed (at least as far as you're concerned) and there's nothing to inform them that you're pulling out of. That sucks and I feel bad for you, and you don't have anything to be selfish about.
Without more details on why they're pulling out, how much notice they're giving, how often it's happened and how long this has this has going on for, no one can really give you an objective view. It's just a but of soapbox.
At the end of the day though, regardless of who is to blame, if it's notmworking for you, it's not working. Selfish or not, you're best bowing out if you can't get it to work.
If you're not willing or able to to discuss in good faith, then don't be surprised if I don't respond, there are better things in life for me to do than humour you. This signature is that response.
If it were me, and I was sure I hadn't done anything to offend/upset the group, I'd just move on without worrying about it. If they care, they'll ask and you can tell them the truth.
Lying to you is lame and unreasonable regardless of whatever else is going on.
Sorry you're going through this. I hope you find another group soon that's actually worth your time.