Now I want to play an Ardling Inquisitor named Blue who is a dog... so whenever I go to attack someone I can sing,

"Here's the flail, it never fails, it makes me want to wag my tail, when it comes I want to wail, FLAAAAAAAIL!!!"

And somehow get any teleportation spell.

Maybe have two hirelings. An untrained one named Steve and a trained one (hopefully with expertise in investigation) named Yu, who Steve is entirely dependant on.

Steve feeds me.

Really want to post that Cary Grant gif where he just points and says; "Get out." 

lol, kidding. :D

Full name Blue Skadoo Wecantoo