Hi everyone, sorry if this ends up being a duplicate post but I realised that I had posted it to the wrong category so I have deleted (I hope) the other one, so I can post it in the correct place.

I am still continuing the rewrite of my Bard character, Cedrik Hornraven I discussed this character originally here - he has since become a very different character, I have kept the theme of him having greenish-yellow eyes and him being an entertainer who likes to perform and entertain but other than that he is a very different character than I had originally intended.

For one, I have multi-classed him now as a Bard/Sorcerer , I have getting rid of the whole thing about him having a mystical aura and being a tortured antsy teen and turned him into someone who just loves entertaining.  Here is his character sheet for you all to look at https://ddb.ac/characters/4299128/oUVBsW.  I am really liking him and I think he is going to be a really interesting character to play, without needing to delve into all the tortured, antsy teen stuff.  The problem is, I am stuck on writing his backstory.  I don't normally have this problem but it just seems like I have some mental block and I cant get his backstory to come out properly.

I am hoping that you guys and gals could maybe help me a bit.  Here is what I have so far:

Cedrik was an extremely gifted child who had learned to read by the age of three and loved nothing more than entertaining his family and friends by performing scenes from whatever book he had been reading the day before.  Sometimes he performed one-man interpretations of great historical battles, where he would act as all the characters from the story and other times he would recite poetry, sing songs or play on his mother’s lyre with such emotion and feeling that all who heard him would be moved to tears or inspired into doing great things.

When he was four, his parents had another child – a girl that they named Ethel whom Cedrik immediately adored and took under his rather small and youthful wing.  He tried to teach her to read as his mother and father had taught him, but Ethel showed no great talent for reading or performing.

Instead, Ethel showed a remarkable talent for transmutation magic and by the time the two children were twelve and eight, they had both become mainstays of the festival, with Cedrik performing and Ethel creating the scenery and making the world move around her beloved brother and they soon gained the attention of the visiting Royal Family, who had been making travels around the empire.

So impressed were these Royal patrons at the wondrous and magical performances of these two peasant children that they decided such talent belonged in the Royal Court, not in some backwater city.  So, they petitioned the parents of Cedrik and Ethel, to place their children into their care.

In return for performing in the Royal Court, both children were promised a comfortable living and the best education that money could buy.  Neither mother or father wanted to give up their children but seeing an opportunity for Cedrik and Ethel to become much more than just simple peasants, they both sorrowfully agreed.

Cedrik was placed under the tutelage of the keeper or lore – a powerful and charismatic bard who could weave words like wizards and sorcerers wove magic and became the ward of the high ranking noble – Gabriel Stormchapel.

For six years Cedrik would study lore and history.  Under the tutelage of the keeper of lore, words became his stock and trade.  He learned how to make men laugh and cry, how to lift their spirits or dash their hopes, how to aid his allies and hamper his opponents, turning the tides of battles before they had even begun and from Gabriel Stormchapel, he learned the ways of sorcery and every evening, for six years; Cedrik was reunited with his sister to perform for the Royal court.

By this time, Cedrik was eighteen and had been having a covert relationship with the son of his guardian – Magnus Stormchapel for almost a year.

I know, this is extremely rambling and it doesn't really get to the point of why Cedrik is adventuring or anything like that.  I can't get it out though, every time I try, it becomes a big rambling thing and my head is just not letting me put my ideas together.

Please can you guys help me condense down all this rambling and help me out focusing on the main few points

• Cedrik loves his little sister - she has been a big part in his life to this point and he would do anything for her - so I think she needs a mention in his backstory
• Cedrik is extremely talented, his talent comes from his draconic bloodline just like his sisters does - though the two are talented in different but complimentary fields
• Cedrik really likes performing and entertaining people.  He is a follower Lliira, and believes that art should come from the soul and show the beauty and joy of world
• In return for his education and comfortable life, Cedrik has to this point - performed for Royal patrons as part of the Royal court
• He had a passionate, almost year long love affair with the son of his guardian, when the affair was discovered, his Guardian blackmailed him into leaving his son alone and used his position and influence to basically force Cedrik out onto the road, threatening him that if Cedrik ever comes back, he will ensure that his family (parents and sister) pay the price for his mistake.

Those are the main points that I want to get across in his backstory but I have been trying for the last few days now and like I said, I just seem to have a mental block and don't seem able to order his backstory to properly get those points across, so I am hoping that you guys could help me.

Thanks so much for any help you guys do give me

Jay

I think the best thing for you to do would be to try and condense several paragraphs about the same subject into one paragraph. So for example, in what you have written so far, you start off with three whole paragraphs about Cedrik's past and his relationship with his family, but you could easily cut it down to something less meandering.

A rough outline of what I would do (obviously this is just a guideline, you don't have to do it this way):

PARAGRAPH ONE: Childhood & Family

• Cedrik and Ethel were gifted from a young age because of their draconic bloodline, both loved to read
• Cedrik turned to musical talent & performance to express his love of reading whereas Ethel turned to the study of magic
• Used their talents to collaborate during their town's annual festival, with Ethel doing settings & props while Cedrik performed

PARAGRAPH TWO: Royal Family

• Cedrik & Ethel drew the attention of the Royal Family during festival performance, were taken back to the Court under their patronage
• Cedrik given a comfortable life & a noble education in return for performing at Court, but separated from sister

PARAGRAPH THREE: Relationship to Tutor & Tutor's Son

• Go into depth about Gabriel Stormchapel
• Mention relationship with Magnus
• The discovery of their relationship & subsequent blackmailing

The only thing I couldn't find a place for was the fact that Cedrik was a follower of Lliira and his philosophy of art. You should ask yourself when in his life Cedrik came to follow Lliira, because people often follow the same faith as their family until they grow older and have the chance to make their own decisions. Did his family worship Lliira? Did Gabriel? Did Cedrik come to this conclusion on his own after reading voraciously? Ask yourself these questions, and it'll become more apparent where in his backstory you should write about Cedrik's personal beliefs.

The only thing I couldn't find a place for was the fact that Cedrik was a follower of Lliira and his philosophy of art

I had imagined that being taken away from his home and parents was both exciting and confusing for Cedrik and then finding out that he would be separated from his sister was traumatic.  It seemed like everything he knew and loved was being taken away from him and so he threw himself into the one thing that still made him happy, the evenings spent performing with his sister.

He filled those evenings with as much art and joy and life as he could muster and giving his entire being over to those performances, he rose higher and higher.  Such art, such talent, such a performance of joy and life and light and hope, drew the attention of the Mistress of the Revels  who revealed herself to Cedrik and soothed his aching soul and helped him to find the beauty in the dark by showing him how; through his pain, he had filled the lives of others with joy and happiness and in so doing, had made the world a better place.

From then on, he became a disciple of Lliira.  Using the art of his performances to entertain others - bringing joy and hope and light and a love of life wherever he went, soothing the aching souls of those whose hearts were weighed down by pain or suffering, sadness or grief - helping them; as his mistress had once helped him, to find their inner strength and see the beauty in the dark.

So that is how I imagined he became a follower of Lliira - who knows he might actually become one of her clerics and carry the title of Joybringer.  Really depends how the campaign plays out and what happens as its story progresses.