What are the Craziest things your players have said to you (the dm)?

Mine are;

“Can I rizz up the door?”

And

”Can I assassinate him JFK style with fire bolt?”

"Just what does elf taste like?"  

"If I extend my wings indoors, just how many people's plates can i knock to the floor?" 

"How do you tell if a Drow has a sun-tan? Don't look at me like that, I escaped the underdark and worship Lathander, I am going to the beach!"

"If I play a half-orc, can the other half also be orc?" 
Me: "You can just say you want to play a full orc. So yes."
Player "No, that isn't what i mean, can I play as half warcraft orc and half Warhammer 40K orc?"

"Are there any.... no wait, there are kids around." * Other players stare at him and wonder what he was going to say. * 

and

"Can i use my encounter powers to throw a tantrum and confuse the guards?" (4E) 

I once made the mistake of giving the party the option of travelling via a party boat run by a wizard which was one of the player's old characters.

Barbarian: "Well, I'll strip naked and start pole dancing."

Other party members: "Oh, can the wizard cast grease over him??"

Paladin player: *visible distress because their paladin would not be enjoying this, even though they want very much to laugh*