years ago, I used to be a part of a Group that played a mix of 3.5 and pathfinder.
the DM did his best, but could only do so much.
there was this one guy, named Karl... Karl was a "that guy" (we loved him though, he was/is a funny that guy)
by "that guy", i mean power gamer. the ultimate power gamer.
the only way i can describe him to you is this list, which our DM wrote one night in his frustration, which turned out to be comedy GOLD, andis now required reading in any group i play with. please enjoy this with as many laughs as i did, and share this. lets make him hilariously infamous!
Karl is not allowed to: - Play as a monk or any form of unarmed strike build - Be a Dragon - Be a Half Dragon - Be a Dragon Lycan - Be any other kind of Lycan - Be a Dragon child - Use Natural Weapons as a primary form of attack while in a humanoid form - Use a weaonpon that would add unarmed strike damage to weapon damage - Use a weapon more than one size catagory above his normal size - Play any creature sized larger than medium without express permission - Spend more than 5000 gp customizing a weapon before it's even magical (or psionic) - Be a Dread Vampire - Be a normal Vampire - Let's just say be any form of undead completely - Take the Legendary ability feat - Take the Powerful build feat, or start with a race that has powerful build - Have any one stat greater than 28 before 14th level - Use Magic to alter reality in any permanant state before 14th level - Use psionics to do the same - Take the Applied Knowledge / Wisdom of the Sages feat - Take the One Man Band Feat - Play an awakened animal - Play an awakened plant - Play as an intelligent item - Have a base land speed above 80 before epics - Play any creature with a template or level adjustment cost greater than +3 (total for all templates) - Play a soulknife without overview of the DM - Use any spell capable of dealing more than 100 dice of damage before 18th level - Play a psionic poisonmaker - Hit someone with the wagon (as a weapon, running them over is frowned upon but allowed) - Wield more weapons than you have hands - Use a double weapon - TWF with double weapons used as single weapons - Use the Thematic Spell feat to theme magic after squirrels - Have more than 200 HP before 12th level - Have DR greater than 20 before 10th level - Have an AC greater than 30 (after applying armor as DR) before 10th level - Use the Karmic Strike feat on a character that also has Combat Reflexes - Make an attack by throwing small animals at a target - Make an attack by throwing large animals at a target - Make an attack by throwing small children at a target - Make an attack by throwing large children at a target - Challenge NPC's to Drinking contests - Play as a stealthy horse or any other kind of normally unstealthy creature - Play as a cleric of the god of Obituaries - Play as any character with Profession: Undertaker on their skill list - Play as any character with Profession: Accountant on their skill list - Play as any character with Profession: Librarian on their skill list - Play as any character with any profession allowing him to quote "kicking ass and taking names" as part of Roleplay - Play as any kind of moose related character - Likewise cannot play with any type of character who has or mimics a Canadian accent - Take the leadership feat - Take the Religious Leadership feat - Take the Undead Leadership feat - Take the Tyrant Feat - Take the Guildmaster feat - Take the Rulership feat - Own a codpiece - Make any form of attack with a pelvic thrust involved - Make any form of attack with a butt bomb involved - Kick the can - Kill the Air - Attack the darkness - Launch magic missiles into the darkness - Play as a chaotic good TWF'ing Drow Ranger - Play as a Drow Noble, or use feats allowing one to emulate a Drow noble - Play as a Doppelganger - Use the Chameleon PRC - Make epic level skill checks before epics without prior DM notification and consent - Play as a bard who refers to his guitar as an axe - Play as a bard whose guitar actually is an axe - Flirt with any female who is actually an avatar or a god of death (Has actually happened, punishment for disobeying rule will be met out in game) - [REDACTED] - [REDACTED] - Incite a Jihad - Start a Crusade - Refer to arena matches as XP farming - Refer to any kind of matches as any kind of farming - Play as a Dashing Swordsman - Create any piece of technology greater than what the world can currently support or any technology/magic requiring the DM to do more work - Incite a Rebellion against the Empire (without viable in-game reason) - Overthrow a Republic and formulate an Empire (without viable in-game reason) - Deal non-leathal damage with siege weapons - Flurry with seige weapons - TWF with siege weapons - Sneak attack with seige weapons - Targeted Strike with seige weapons - Deal Skirmish damage with seige weapons - Own a siege weapon - Make battleship references during naval combat - Make battleship references during space combat - Purpusefully attempt to incite intergalactic/interplanar conflict - Tell a demon to go to hell - tell a devil to go to hell - tell a daemon to go to hell - Ask a witch if her fire burns and cauldron bubbles - Refer to things as "Punny" - Ask about or mention "Pun" ishment - Replace Weapons with party members - Replace Party members with weapons - Play card games with a deck of illusions - Especially play card games with a deck of many things - Play any form of RPG while inside of the RPG - Cannot fire any weapon resembling an RPG - Refer to bottles of alchemist fire as "grenades" - Bioengineer/magically create pokemon - ^ or Digimon - ^^ or anything resembling them - Build the "Wizard who did it" - ^ Emulate above build with any other class - Own a collection of magic rings and refer to them as "Precious" - Own any singular magic ring and refer to it as "precious" - Mention the idea of mixing D&D with minecraft - Attempt the mixing of D&D with minecraft - Create a combat/spellcaster hybrid focusing on sonic spells and referring to it as a "Dragonborn" - Actually play as any class or race referred to as a "Dragonborn" - Design a character to mimic anything from the Marvel or DC universe - Be a Gnomish Engineer - Claim to discover the 12 uses of Dragon's blood - Use a bluff check to override a person's past history - Try to convince a wizard that he must wear a monocle - Ask any form of caster about the state of their wand cores - Refer to a troop of pikemen as a "Spearhead Offensive" - Think about the Pun-Pun build - Accidentally mimic the Pun-Pun build without thinking about the Pun-Pun build - Argue that a thrown jug of lightningbugs should go off as a scintillating sphere - Poison the hammer, specifically the one hammer, anything else is fine - Actually use the Bow of Hercules - Refer to a ray-based spellcaster as a laser specialist - Play as a summoner - Play as a summoning specialized character - Refer to Paladins as Lawful Stupid in game - Demand half of an opponents money as reward for besting them in combat - Abuse the craft construct feat (use is fine in moderation) - Utilize the Factotum Class - Utilize the Savant class - Refer to himself as "using the force" for any reason - play a skald style character and refer to himself as a "Bardbarian" - Apply the "Warp Wood" spell to male party members or NPC's - Wildshape into or summon a dinosaur without proper backstory reasons to even know about them - Refer to the destruction of any building as "bringing down the house" - Ask if a character's leather armor is made out of "Sheepskin" - Utilize a Crit build character - Toss gold at enemy combatants and refer to it as a "Money style" jutsu/spell/power - Store himself or party members in a bag of holding to use offensively - ^ Do the above nonoffensively without permission on a case to case basis - Get near a town guard and shout "F*K the police" - Attempt emulation of Skyrimesque Dragon shouts - Give the cat a chezburgher - Offer the Rakshasa a chezburgher - Play as a wookie - Build a Trojan Rabbit - ^ Or any other Trojan animal - Apply the young template to any creature that is aged beyond it's adolescent category - Make MLP references in any way shape or form - Shout in sylvan and refer to it as a call to the wild - Use a Wish effect to wish for more wishes - Refer to any firearm to a boomstick - Create an NPC railgun - Violate the laws of physics without some form of Supernatural aid - Use the Taunt feat and Hide in Plain Sight ability at the same time - Use the Taunt feat and any form of invisibility/etherealness at the same time - Deliver the Taunt feat through an illusion, sending, message, or Magic Mouth spell
- Help any other party member do any of the above >.> >>> This list is subject to change and updating at any time. Other players are not neccessarily banned from these things but should show restraint with them or face the same restrictions.
Let the Memes begin, Relicas
Notes: Redacted violations of Site Rules & Guidelines
Oh, no! This made me realize that one of my minor characters is a Karl. ☹ I'll need to make him into an NPC so the DM can enjoy cathartic vengeance as the party decimates him.
I just thought he was lucky, not ridiculously OP. I'll need to apologize to the DM.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
I guess I don't see the problem, personally. Hijinks and hilarity ensuing because a player wanted to do something that isn't just "press x to attack" could never be a bad thing imo.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Whomsoever reads this: you matter, you are loved, and I wish you the best. Griffith did nothing wrong.
well yeah, entertaining, but when a DM spent all week working on an adventure, and you spend the whole time being a dread vampire challenging npc's to drinking contests they cant win, its funny but completely takes away from what everyone else wanted to do...
Sure, if it's that egregious then I agree it's too much. I kinda just assumed it was an re-occuring instance of "banter gone wild" and not something that took everyone elses time. That's dickish and selfish. Do you still play with Karl? If so, has he changed?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Whomsoever reads this: you matter, you are loved, and I wish you the best. Griffith did nothing wrong.
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years ago, I used to be a part of a Group that played a mix of 3.5 and pathfinder.
the DM did his best, but could only do so much.
there was this one guy, named Karl... Karl was a "that guy" (we loved him though, he was/is a funny that guy)
by "that guy", i mean power gamer. the ultimate power gamer.
the only way i can describe him to you is this list, which our DM wrote one night in his frustration, which turned out to be comedy GOLD, andis now required reading in any group i play with. please enjoy this with as many laughs as i did, and share this. lets make him hilariously infamous!
Karl is not allowed to:
- Play as a monk or any form of unarmed strike build
- Be a Dragon
- Be a Half Dragon
- Be a Dragon Lycan
- Be any other kind of Lycan
- Be a Dragon child
- Use Natural Weapons as a primary form of attack while in a humanoid form
- Use a weaonpon that would add unarmed strike damage to weapon damage
- Use a weapon more than one size catagory above his normal size
- Play any creature sized larger than medium without express permission
- Spend more than 5000 gp customizing a weapon before it's even magical (or psionic)
- Be a Dread Vampire
- Be a normal Vampire
- Let's just say be any form of undead completely
- Take the Legendary ability feat
- Take the Powerful build feat, or start with a race that has powerful build
- Have any one stat greater than 28 before 14th level
- Use Magic to alter reality in any permanant state before 14th level
- Use psionics to do the same
- Take the Applied Knowledge / Wisdom of the Sages feat
- Take the One Man Band Feat
- Play an awakened animal
- Play an awakened plant
- Play as an intelligent item
- Have a base land speed above 80 before epics
- Play any creature with a template or level adjustment cost greater than +3 (total for all templates)
- Play a soulknife without overview of the DM
- Use any spell capable of dealing more than 100 dice of damage before 18th level
- Play a psionic poisonmaker
- Hit someone with the wagon (as a weapon, running them over is frowned upon but allowed)
- Wield more weapons than you have hands
- Use a double weapon
- TWF with double weapons used as single weapons
- Use the Thematic Spell feat to theme magic after squirrels
- Have more than 200 HP before 12th level
- Have DR greater than 20 before 10th level
- Have an AC greater than 30 (after applying armor as DR) before 10th level
- Use the Karmic Strike feat on a character that also has Combat Reflexes
- Make an attack by throwing small animals at a target
- Make an attack by throwing large animals at a target
- Make an attack by throwing small children at a target
- Make an attack by throwing large children at a target
- Challenge NPC's to Drinking contests
- Play as a stealthy horse or any other kind of normally unstealthy creature
- Play as a cleric of the god of Obituaries
- Play as any character with Profession: Undertaker on their skill list
- Play as any character with Profession: Accountant on their skill list
- Play as any character with Profession: Librarian on their skill list
- Play as any character with any profession allowing him to quote "kicking ass and taking names" as part of Roleplay
- Play as any kind of moose related character
- Likewise cannot play with any type of character who has or mimics a Canadian accent
- Take the leadership feat
- Take the Religious Leadership feat
- Take the Undead Leadership feat
- Take the Tyrant Feat
- Take the Guildmaster feat
- Take the Rulership feat
- Own a codpiece
- Make any form of attack with a pelvic thrust involved
- Make any form of attack with a butt bomb involved
- Kick the can
- Kill the Air
- Attack the darkness
- Launch magic missiles into the darkness
- Play as a chaotic good TWF'ing Drow Ranger
- Play as a Drow Noble, or use feats allowing one to emulate a Drow noble
- Play as a Doppelganger
- Use the Chameleon PRC
- Make epic level skill checks before epics without prior DM notification and consent
- Play as a bard who refers to his guitar as an axe
- Play as a bard whose guitar actually is an axe
- Flirt with any female who is actually an avatar or a god of death (Has actually happened, punishment for disobeying rule will be met out in game)
- [REDACTED]
- [REDACTED]
- Incite a Jihad
- Start a Crusade
- Refer to arena matches as XP farming
- Refer to any kind of matches as any kind of farming
- Play as a Dashing Swordsman
- Create any piece of technology greater than what the world can currently support or any technology/magic requiring the DM to do more work
- Incite a Rebellion against the Empire (without viable in-game reason)
- Overthrow a Republic and formulate an Empire (without viable in-game reason)
- Deal non-leathal damage with siege weapons
- Flurry with seige weapons
- TWF with siege weapons
- Sneak attack with seige weapons
- Targeted Strike with seige weapons
- Deal Skirmish damage with seige weapons
- Own a siege weapon
- Make battleship references during naval combat
- Make battleship references during space combat
- Purpusefully attempt to incite intergalactic/interplanar conflict
- Tell a demon to go to hell
- tell a devil to go to hell
- tell a daemon to go to hell
- Ask a witch if her fire burns and cauldron bubbles
- Refer to things as "Punny"
- Ask about or mention "Pun" ishment
- Replace Weapons with party members
- Replace Party members with weapons
- Play card games with a deck of illusions
- Especially play card games with a deck of many things
- Play any form of RPG while inside of the RPG
- Cannot fire any weapon resembling an RPG
- Refer to bottles of alchemist fire as "grenades"
- Bioengineer/magically create pokemon
- ^ or Digimon
- ^^ or anything resembling them
- Build the "Wizard who did it"
- ^ Emulate above build with any other class
- Own a collection of magic rings and refer to them as "Precious"
- Own any singular magic ring and refer to it as "precious"
- Mention the idea of mixing D&D with minecraft
- Attempt the mixing of D&D with minecraft
- Create a combat/spellcaster hybrid focusing on sonic spells and referring to it as a "Dragonborn"
- Actually play as any class or race referred to as a "Dragonborn"
- Design a character to mimic anything from the Marvel or DC universe
- Be a Gnomish Engineer
- Claim to discover the 12 uses of Dragon's blood
- Use a bluff check to override a person's past history
- Try to convince a wizard that he must wear a monocle
- Ask any form of caster about the state of their wand cores
- Refer to a troop of pikemen as a "Spearhead Offensive"
- Think about the Pun-Pun build
- Accidentally mimic the Pun-Pun build without thinking about the Pun-Pun build
- Argue that a thrown jug of lightningbugs should go off as a scintillating sphere
- Poison the hammer, specifically the one hammer, anything else is fine
- Actually use the Bow of Hercules
- Refer to a ray-based spellcaster as a laser specialist
- Play as a summoner
- Play as a summoning specialized character
- Refer to Paladins as Lawful Stupid in game
- Demand half of an opponents money as reward for besting them in combat
- Abuse the craft construct feat (use is fine in moderation)
- Utilize the Factotum Class
- Utilize the Savant class
- Refer to himself as "using the force" for any reason
- play a skald style character and refer to himself as a "Bardbarian"
- Apply the "Warp Wood" spell to male party members or NPC's
- Wildshape into or summon a dinosaur without proper backstory reasons to even know about them
- Refer to the destruction of any building as "bringing down the house"
- Ask if a character's leather armor is made out of "Sheepskin"
- Utilize a Crit build character
- Toss gold at enemy combatants and refer to it as a "Money style" jutsu/spell/power
- Store himself or party members in a bag of holding to use offensively
- ^ Do the above nonoffensively without permission on a case to case basis
- Get near a town guard and shout "F*K the police"
- Attempt emulation of Skyrimesque Dragon shouts
- Give the cat a chezburgher
- Offer the Rakshasa a chezburgher
- Play as a wookie
- Build a Trojan Rabbit
- ^ Or any other Trojan animal
- Apply the young template to any creature that is aged beyond it's adolescent category
- Make MLP references in any way shape or form
- Shout in sylvan and refer to it as a call to the wild
- Use a Wish effect to wish for more wishes
- Refer to any firearm to a boomstick
- Create an NPC railgun
- Violate the laws of physics without some form of Supernatural aid
- Use the Taunt feat and Hide in Plain Sight ability at the same time
- Use the Taunt feat and any form of invisibility/etherealness at the same time
- Deliver the Taunt feat through an illusion, sending, message, or Magic Mouth spell
- Help any other party member do any of the above >.>
>>> This list is subject to change and updating at any time. Other players are not neccessarily
banned from these things but should show restraint with them or face the same restrictions.
Let the Memes begin,
Relicas
The part about siege weapons is what killed me. This list is amazing. Thank you.
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I am not allowed to play an aaracokra.
Oh, no! This made me realize that one of my minor characters is a Karl. ☹ I'll need to make him into an NPC so the DM can enjoy cathartic vengeance as the party decimates him.
I just thought he was lucky, not ridiculously OP. I'll need to apologize to the DM.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Your DM sounds a little strict tbh. Some of these would make for hilarious moments.
Whomsoever reads this: you matter, you are loved, and I wish you the best.
Griffith did nothing wrong.
Maybe once or twice. Sounds like from the OP they do them a lot.
Mega Yahtzee Thread:
Highest 41: brocker2001 (#11,285).
Yahtzee of 2's: Emmber (#36,161).
Lowest 9: JoeltheWalrus (#312), Emmber (#12,505) and Dertinus (#20,953).
I guess I don't see the problem, personally. Hijinks and hilarity ensuing because a player wanted to do something that isn't just "press x to attack" could never be a bad thing imo.
Whomsoever reads this: you matter, you are loved, and I wish you the best.
Griffith did nothing wrong.
well yeah, entertaining, but when a DM spent all week working on an adventure, and you spend the whole time being a dread vampire challenging npc's to drinking contests they cant win, its funny but completely takes away from what everyone else wanted to do...
Sure, if it's that egregious then I agree it's too much. I kinda just assumed it was an re-occuring instance of "banter gone wild" and not something that took everyone elses time. That's dickish and selfish. Do you still play with Karl? If so, has he changed?
Whomsoever reads this: you matter, you are loved, and I wish you the best.
Griffith did nothing wrong.