The meaning of "fair" in DnD

Quote from James_Bard >>

Bad DMs fetishize killing characters, forcing TPKs, and stifling player agency. Limiting choices, classes, multiclassing, races, magic items, and overall creativity goes against the very spirit of the game. The true ethos of Dungeons & Dragons is simple: a group of like-minded friends sitting around a table having a fun adventure. The DM is the ringmaster, but they are no more or less important than anyone else. Everyone at the table is a player.

A good DM tunes combat to make the party sweat and clench up a little, but in all likelihood, the players should win. If an encounter ends up overtuned, a good DM knows how to adjust behind the screen—having a creature conveniently miss, or moving a monster on to the next target when a character goes down. This nonsense about constantly making players reroll characters is silly.

I am equally dismayed by the "Critical Role" style of heavy roleplay where the actual rules no longer matter. A great DM follows Rules As Written (RAW) about 90% of the time, leaving just enough room for player creativity and well-balanced homebrew that enhances the fun.

To be clear, by "90% RAW," I mean strictly adhering to combat and spell mechanics—not stupidly counting arrows.

If your DM isn't striking this balance and fostering this kind of environment, find a new DM.

 Pantagruel touched on this already, but it bears repeating: A good DM is a DM who makes sure everyone at the table (including themselves!) has fun. And it's important to recognize that there's a yawning gulf of difference between "I don't like this thing" and "this thing is bad and no one should like it." Now I'm not going to yum your yuck and tell you you're wrong for not liking a grindfest game, but by the same token don't assume no one likes that, at least once in a while. As long as everybody's on board with the stakes and the expectations in session zero, a game where each player comes with several backup character sheets can be a fun change of pace.

Quote from Wysperra >>

Quote from SunIsGettingRealLow96589 >>

The dm who counted ammunition, didnt mention that until my ranger was three sessions into a dungeon and six session into me joining the campaign.

 

Keeping track of your resources is a player responsibility. While a GM can track and remind you about your arrows, your rations, your spells slots, your hps, It's your responsibility to keep an eye on it as a player. Assuming that your 20 arrows suddenly became unlimited is a mistake on your part. 

 That all depends on clear communications and setting expectations during session zero. Not having a session zero to set expectations and boundaries is a big red flag.