Forced DMPC. Impartiality help

 I am in a DnD dilemma. I took over as DM on our current campaign (Lost Mines of Phandelver)  due to work commitments part way through so I now have a DMPC. I make all the mistakes on my characters back story (:-p), my drow assassin is no exception. Length, complexity, tragedy, numerous alter egos - she has it all.

However, the level 4 party of 5 adult players (+my DMPC) has now decided to take on the young adult dragon in Thundertree. They have a half credible plan and technically they only have to reduce its HP by half before it decides to fly away. My drow does not want to be there, she sees no purpose in waking and fighing a dragon but (unknown to me because the old DM passed none of his notes over) two of the characters backstories are tied to the dragon.

Trying to be impartial is difficult, I often ask the party what they want her to do, but they dont really know how to use her. Part of her charm is the mystery that surrounds her (they have not long found out she is a drow after many months of playing)

To make things worse I have written a considerable amount of planning material around her, her interactions with Halia, and her back story comes to a head when she meets Nezznar in Drider form)  All with the intention of making a cohesive interesting story for the players and setting up more threads connecting other campaigns.

So, how do you let go of a character you love? I am sure this happen to other groups. How best to handle? I have read a load of post to say DMPC's are generally bad, but this situation has been 'forced' on me.

I thought I could share more details regarding her character and motivations then maybe when the party tells her to do something to  determine her actions via dice role, any thoughts? Its a real shame I would loved to have played her propery.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Gareth

 I am in a DnD dilemma. I took over as DM on our current campaign (Lost Mines of Phandelver) due to work commitments part way through so I now have a DMPC. I make all the mistakes on my characters back story (:-p), my drow assassin is no exception. Length, complexity, tragedy, numerous alter egos - she has it all.

However, the level 4 party of 5 adult players (+my DMPC) has now decided to take on the young adult dragon in Thundertree. They have a half credible plan and technically they only have to reduce its HP by half before it decides to fly away. My drow does not want to be there, she sees no purpose in waking and fighing a dragon but (unknown to me because the old DM passed none of his notes over) two of the characters backstories are tied to the dragon.

Trying to be impartial is difficult, I often ask the party what they want her to do, but they dont really know how to use her. Part of her charm is the mystery that surrounds her (they have not long found out she is a drow after many months of playing)

To make things worse I have written a considerable amount of planning material around her, her interactions with Halia, and her back story comes to a head when she meets Nezznar in Drider form) All with the intention of making a cohesive interesting story for the players and setting up more threads connecting other campaigns.

So, how do you let go of a character you love? I am sure this happen to other groups. How best to handle? I have read a load of post to say DMPC's are generally bad, but this situation has been 'forced' on me.

I thought I could share more details regarding her character and motivations then maybe when the party tells her to do something to determine her actions via dice role, any thoughts? Its a real shame I would loved to have played her propery.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Gareth

You need to get the character out of the game. The dragon seems like a perfect time -- "you lot are gonna do that? I'm outta here!"

First of all, DMing is just a lot. I get the impression you're not that experienced at it, and trying to run the game and a character is going to divide your attention too many ways, even if you can keep character and DM knowledge separate.

More importantly, the game is supposed to be the players' story. You say you've written material to tie your character into the adventure's plot. That sounds like, at important moments of the adventure, you're going to end up pulling focus and making things about you. That's no fun for the players.

Being a DM is supposed to be fun, but it's a different kind of fun than the players', and you need to accept that your character's story has ended prematurely. You can probably recycle the ideas, and maybe the whole character, in a future game.

I think the biggest thing here is that once you took over as DM, your role changed. You’re not really a player anymore—you’re the person creating and running the world for the players. As hard as it is when you love a character, I think you need to remove your drow from the active party and let the story focus on the five player characters.

The good thing is that the dragon actually gives you a perfect opportunity to do this naturally.

Your drow already doesn’t agree with waking up and fighting the dragon. Instead of having her reluctantly go along with the party, use this as the moment where she realizes that the party is heading in a direction she no longer agrees with. It doesn’t even have to be only about the dragon. Their decision can make her question the party’s judgment, goals, and willingness to take risks she doesn’t believe are worth taking.

She can basically decide, “This isn’t the path I chose, and I’m not following you down it.”

Then she leaves and forges her own path.

That gives her a meaningful exit without killing her off or just making her disappear because you became the DM. More importantly, it stays true to the character you created. She isn’t leaving because the DM needs her gone—she’s leaving because the character has reached a point where her goals and the party’s goals no longer align.

You also don’t have to throw away any of the material you’ve written for her. Turn her into an NPC. Her connections with Halia, her backstory, her secrets, and eventually Nezznar can all still matter. Honestly, some of that material may work even better when the players don’t know what she’s doing anymore.

Maybe they hear rumors about her. Maybe they see the consequences of things she’s done. Maybe Halia mentions her. Maybe they eventually cross paths with her again and discover that she’s changed considerably since leaving them. Now you have an established NPC the players already have a history with, which can be incredibly useful as a DM.

I also wouldn’t have the players decide what she does or use dice to determine her decisions. That doesn’t really solve the DMPC problem. You still know everything happening behind the screen while controlling a character inside the party, and the players shouldn’t have to figure out how to run your character on top of their own.

The dragon encounter itself shows why separating her from the party is probably the best move. You know the dragon’s abilities, motivations, HP, when it will retreat, what is coming next in the adventure, and information the players don’t have. Even if you’re doing everything possible to remain impartial, you’re still in the awkward position of being both DM and player.

Let the players fight the dragon without her.

Maybe their plan works brilliantly. Maybe they barely survive. Maybe somebody dies. Maybe they realize halfway through that your drow was right. Whatever happens, it happens because of their decisions, and those are often the moments players remember years later.

And I completely understand being disappointed that you never really got to play her properly. Save the character sheet. Don’t waste a character you clearly put a lot of work into. If someone else DMs another campaign, bring her back and actually experience her story as a player.

For this campaign, though, I’d use the dragon as her breaking point. Have her disagree with the party, realize she no longer shares their vision, and walk away to forge her own path. Then step fully behind the screen and make the campaign about your players.

You’re not really losing the character—you’re just changing her role in the story.

Wow, thanks so much for taking the time with your reply.  However difficult it is for me to hear I think you are right and I need to start adapting the story without here full time presence.I have a couple of ideas as I type. 

My last hail mary is to see if I can get a new player to play her but that will bring its own challenges for sure. 

Better start re-writing! 

Thanks again.

Quote from IbanethraWormbane >>

Wow, thanks so much for taking the time with your reply.  However difficult it is for me to hear I think you are right and I need to start adapting the story without here full time presence.I have a couple of ideas as I type. 

My last hail mary is to see if I can get a new player to play her but that will bring its own challenges for sure. 

Better start re-writing! 

Thanks again.

 A new player will not want to take over your character. They’ll want to make their own.

But you can still have her around, popping up as a recurring NPC. Heck, drow live a long time, she can show up in the next campaign, too.

Yup, she has a cameo already in the next campaign. The dodgy poison expert :-D

Will be fun still to have her or her handy work pop up occasionally. Thanks again

If you are running the game and there is no mechanical need that must be filled (no healer for example), pull that DMPC out expeditiously. It will only hurt your game otherwise. If you find yourself struggling to do so for personal reasons, then I strongly encourage you to pass the DM bald cap to someone else and be a player again. 

Actually, the whole reason I am in the situation is the group wanted to give me the chance to play and someone else DM, then he couldnt play anymore

 I Would love to play again, but there is no one else in the group current able to take on DM role

Quote from IbanethraWormbane >>

My last hail mary is to see if I can get a new player to play her but that will bring its own challenges for sure. 

 

Not only would that not happen, you don't want that to happen. If someone else took over that character they are not going to play her the same way you would have. The only thing worse that not getting to play her yourself would be to have to watch someone else play her "wrong". It will hurt even more than having her separate from the party and become part of the fabric of the world.

Yes, I am sure you're right. I will find fun in having her pop up as an occasional NPC... if the dragon doesn’t kill them all

Many thanks for taking the time to reply. I have 3 year experience playing with the same group, mostly as DM but its a constant learning experience. Like everone I make 'mistakes', some of which have a positive outcome some that have a less positive end.

You are correct, I am realising now that I cannot play this chatacter and DM completely impartially. She will remain in the module as a shadow NPC, the party will find her handy work from time to time. Though her story will be intertwined with the story it will not be with her as a PC.

Not sure when, if ever i will get to play her. There is no one else in the group with the time or drive to DM but I take great comfort that dispite my shortcommings as DM, they return week after week to play. I thjnk thats the best measure of my DMing.

Thank again for your reply