Group was told they need to go to a town to the north east of the capital and that it would take a day to get there via the road...... so the group decides to go through the forest (carving out a new road on the way by destroying the trees in their way) and get stuck at a river. So our warforged breaks the carriage they had been using by trying to carry it over the river, then throws the halfling over it in a barrel.... which fails and halfling ends up floating to a town to the west in his barrel, steals a horse and rides to the town himself to meet up with the group who eventually made a bridge.
It's now become a group trope that whenever they need to get over anything, river, wall, door etc. the Warforged throws the halfling over either in his barrel (which he is very attached to, and lost because he had to leave it when he rode off to town) or just throws the halfling and hopes he lands...... He's very good at dex/athletic checks now!
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If your players think you're reading from a module while you're making everything up, you're doing better than you think!
During the Descent Into Avernus game I'm running, they were in Elturel resting. The drow monk, during his watch, saw a halfling man run into an alley and went to check it out. He noticed the halfling talking to an imp, who had a contract in hand. The monk shot at the imp, who turned invisible and flew away. The monk told the halfling "Don't sign that! You didn't read it, you could have sold your soul or something!" The halfling just replies with "You didn't read it either."
The monk begrudgingly allows the halfling to get his family to come along with the party, going with him to a crappy bakery. The monk makes a comment about it and the halfling replies with "This was my business" to again, make the monk feel like crap. Then the family came along!
The wife stormed up the stairs after being told a drow helped him, exclaiming "A what?!" She nearly clocked him with a frying pan.
Now the party consists of: 4 PCs, a hollyphant, a veteran, a human woman and her two boys, a lost little girl, and this halfling family of five.
I already made a post about this, but my party started out in a town and they didn't help the townsfolk, or even get to know them, they Immediately weakened the wall, and made a alliance with a bugbear and started destroying the town. Not only that, but I rolled the dice, and according to them, a big, freaking, young white dragon landed in the middle of the town and started to destroy it. so the town went from peaceful to betrayed and iced over by a white dragon.
You overhear a sorcerer human with obvious signs of draconic blood (scaley skin) in the tavern talking to someone...
"So there I was, in a partial state of undress when the husband of the young lady I was with burst into the room. He was obviously in an agitated state. So I explained to the gentleman, whom I should take this moment to point out that he was an infamous cowled mage of Amn, that I had spread all of his valuables out all over the couch, as it was in my nature to nap laying on top of a hoard of treasure, most-likely due to my draconic heritage.
Well, I had to laugh, as it was then that I realized that it wasn't the state of the couch that was causing his hostility, but the fact that I was sleeping with his wife.....Well, long story short, I woke-up 3 days later in a temple of Helm, having been resurrected by the clerics there..<he takes a sip of his drink and continues>...I heard later that the fireball he cast was visible all the way to Daggerford. And THAT is why, to this very day, I have no eyebrows."
You hear another conversation in the tavern...
"Did you hear that the city guard arrested the owner of the smelting shop at the corner of town? It seems that someone was fabricating weapons and armor without Guild approval, and selling them to a band of bugbears outside of the city. Evidently, the guard had acquired one of the 'counterfeit' weapons and with the help a diviner they had traced it back to the outskirts of the city.....Being well acquainted with the area myself, I inquired of the guard - "I happen to know that there is also a bloomery not a stones throw away from the smelter. How in toril did you know for certain that the smelter was the one dealing in arms?
Well the guard looked almost surprised by my question. then he said to me in the incredulous manner...."My good man. Were you born yesterday? For every child of school age can tall you with absolute certainty that the merchant that smelt it was the one that dealt it."
My first campaign I played in as a pc. Be me, Dragonborn Barbarian, afraid of stereotypes. I had in my first characters backstory to be racist towards elves. That freaked out the BBEG so much that he killed me
'Kay so buckle up kids cuz this is going to be a wild ride.
Our first campaign ever as a stable D&D group. Starting from level one, I'm playing a high-elf fighter, we also have half-elf rouge, a tiefling warlock, a dragonborn warlock, a halfling cleric and an aarakocra paladin. Yeah, sounds about crazy enough.
So, I joined the party a teeny bit later so I really didn't know what was going on and nearly died in combat. Thanks to our dear cleric I was stabilized. My character since then longed for a better armor - so the time finally came and we went to see a blacksmith. But would you believe that, we were all poor as heck so no way I could buy any.
At this point we were supposed to go meet this lord that'd give us some ultimate purpose of the whole campaign and he'd explain the main plot. But, thankfully enough, our DM casually mentioned that there were no people in the city because a tournament was taking place that day. Prize? Well, money, of course.
We did not hesitate a moment and headed up that way. This had to throw our DM off a bit but he didn't show it whatsoever. He described it beautifully with all the people and a very wealthy, dwarf count of the land coming to watch.
So, we came there only to discover that to partake in the tournament, we'd need a horse.
At this moment, an idea was sparked that our aarakocra could take someone's horse and fly away with it. To this, the DM replied that they could not lift such weight - they could only lift a smaller being, perhaps a child.
With this reply, I came to the realization...
"Why don't we just abduct the count then?"
Everyone lost it. But it was a good plan, let me tell you. We would kidnap him and blackmail his wife for money. Imagine a giant bird carrying an adult/old teeny tiny dwarf count. It would've been perfect, believe me...Had our chaotic evil dragonborn not ruined it by doing some random shoot we all begged him to not do.
But would you believe that, somehow we managed to keep the situation under control as our tiefling warlock charmed the guards to strip off their armor. We left with four breastplates.
And that is a story of how Kayra Silverblade finally got the armor she deserved.
And, ladies and gentlemen, our DM had survived this very bravely, having absolutely nothing of this prepared beforehand. We all applaud him to this day. If you want to hear any more of these crazy things we do, just let me know. There's many more of those.
So, running the Curse of Strahd One Shot, "The Death House". Players are two wizards, a rogue, and my DMPC, a fighter. At the top of the stairs leading into the basement, one wizard and the rogue decide to stay at the top of the stairs in case they get ambushed and forced into the basement with no way out. Thinking this reasonable, I let them even though this doesn't ever happen. So... The party splits up, with one wizard and the fighter going down the stairs. The wizard going down the stairs puts his three wolves on guard as well. They encounter two passageways forward, and decide to split up AGAIN. The fighter comes across three treasure chests, and opens them up, putting the contents in his bag of holding. After that, a ghost appears, getting mad at the fighter for taking the chests. The fighter tries to attack the ghost, but can't. (Because his sword goes right through it.) He runs screaming into the next area. Meanwhile, the wizard gets into a fight with some pretty strong monsters. He feels prepared, only to get a crit bringing him down to 1 HP. He also runs screaming. The wizard and fighter bump into each other, both running like mad. The other wizard and the rogue hear and do nothing. To save the wizard, the fighter stuffs him into a (cupboard?). The fighter starts to deal some damage, but there is a monster in the (cupboard)? The wizard runs out screaming once more. The fighter defeats the monsters (including the one in the cupboard). The wizard takes care of the ghost and drinks a healing potion. The fighter sneaks forward, and finding a room to be the last room, calls the rogue and the other wizard. The spirits inside wanted a sacrifice. Cue arguement between players trying to sacrifice each other and the wizard's wolves. The fighter steps in and exclaims that there will be no sacrifices. The spirits get mad and awaken a shambling mound. The players run out, when the wizard informs the party that there was a shortcut in the cupboard. The shortcut leads to the first floor, where the players discover the doors have been replaced with spinning razor blades. The party goes into two more rooms, running toward the exit. However, just before the double doors leading to the exit, the fighter and the two wizards fall unconscious. The rogue then proceeds to THROW THEM INTO THE RAZORS. The unconscious characters fall just outside the house. The rogue, near 7 HP, (3rd level characters in the party) stabilizes her companions, and then drags them away from the house.
Pretty cool adventure, will be talked about in party for quite a while. Yet, the module was for 1st level characters. Drove the party crazy though.
I was running LMoP, and my party was exploring Thundertree. The paladin walks into a house he thinks is empty and sees that he just walked in on the Cult of the Dragon. A cultist asks, “what are you doing here?” Paladin thinks for a moment. “Want some weed?” Rolls nat 20. Entire group of cultists gets high. Party proceeds to kill all of them. The paladin is now a drug lord.
I just got done with a campaign where half of the party got nuked. Here's what happened. We were in a battle in a forest where we were fighting a druid werewolf. This werewolf rips our ranger's chest open, which kills him. Our ranger had a necklace that when he dies, he respawns. Here's the catch. There's a thing that happens where when he dies while wearing the necklace, he creates a 60 ft blast radius which causes massive damage in that 60ft radius. My DM was hoping that my character got caught in that radius so I would be caught in the blast. I rolled for suspicion to see if I could figure out what was happening, and rolled high enough to where I figured it out and told our party to run. My DM is looking at me. I tell him I run my 30 ft, then I activate Feline Agility, which he forgot I even had, and I go the extra 30 ft to outside of the blast radius. I could just imagine my DM doing that bird meme with the "listen here you little shit" face.
‘That time when I got stuck in cobwebs, my DM made us restart the adventure, and then fought Shrek So I was playing a PC with my party and doing Curse of Strahd and our DM hinted at a secret door. The party spent about 5 minutes making perception checks and we finally found it. There was nothing in the room except for some cobwebs so I went to examine them. I tried to chop them down. Rolled a nat1. DM says that I get stuck in the cobwebs. It takes me 3 minutes to get out, during which the DM has a spark of inspiration. He tells us that he is restarting the adventure. So as we’re walking to Barovia again, Shrek drops down from a tree in front of us and challenges to a dance off. Rest of the session is spent trying to convince everyone to dance. The end.
I just got done with a campaign where half of the party got nuked. Here's what happened. We were in a battle in a forest where we were fighting a druid werewolf. This werewolf rips our ranger's chest open, which kills him. Our ranger had a necklace that when he dies, he respawns. Here's the catch. There's a thing that happens where when he dies while wearing the necklace, he creates a 60 ft blast radius which causes massive damage in that 60ft radius. My DM was hoping that my character got caught in that radius so I would be caught in the blast. I rolled for suspicion to see if I could figure out what was happening, and rolled high enough to where I figured it out and told our party to run. My DM is looking at me. I tell him I run my 30 ft, then I activate Feline Agility, which he forgot I even had, and I go the extra 30 ft to outside of the blast radius. I could just imagine my DM doing that bird meme with the "listen here you little shit" face.
I'm guessing you were playing a tabaxi? Why did the DM want to kill you?
In our last session, my group of level 2 folks were fighting 3 gas spores. My warlock had attacked one, hit, and done like 6 points of damage. Gas Spores only have 1 HP, and so it exploded. Gave everybody massive disease (because they *all* failed their con saves), and then they still had to fight two more.
They get sensible after a few minutes of realizing they can't hit it, and start disengaging and running away. My wizard is very excited to remember that he can disengage, so everyone starts booking it, except for the warlock, and the cleric.
Me: "Okay, it's drifting after your fleeing party members. You have an attack of opportunity, if you want to take it." *thinking there's no way she's gonna take it it's too obvious there is *no way**.
Warlock: *Who went down last session because she wasn't paying attention and got an attack of opportunity on her* "Ooo, I actually get to do one of these? Cool! I attack it! I roll a 10... and I do 6 points of damage."
Me: "Alright, great. It explodes..."
Warlock: "Oh s!@#$%^t, I forgot! I'm sorry River (the cleric)!"
Me: *laughing hysterically with the rest of the party, including the cleric* "Con save, for you and the cleric, please."
It wasn't even a purposeful trap, because I didn't think anyone would be dumb enough to hit the things a second time. It was beautiful. The players found a healer and got patched up, and we had a good laugh about it for the rest of the session. My players are learning many things in these early levels. :D
Last year I had a campaign with a couple of my friends. We were playing Dragon Heist. We had encountered a painter who could bring her paintings to life. I had already accidentally woken 3 painted hell hounds so it was already bad. After we killed the hell hound we continued on into the painters house. And surprise there was a door we could not open. And a voice spoke.
Voice: To open this door, you can either sacrifice someone to replace me or battle me a manticore.
At that point I was excited about this encounter and me and my friends were conflicted. I wanted to sacrifice one of the members, you heard correctly. I wanted to sacrifice someone. We first decided on someone then decided on someone else. It was 4 against 2. The majority were like me and wanted to sacrifice someone. We had to push one of us into a painting. And we all made strength checks, and surprise, surprise the majority one. We nearly pushed the second guy in before we all caught him. And the thing is that it wasn't like we didn't like the guy we sacrificed. No. We wanted to make a fun joke out of this encounter.
After all my side celebrated and the guy we sacrificed was laughing yet annoyed at the same time the DM called him to whisper something in his ear. And the second he got all the information, a smile wider than a road spread across his face. He wouldn't tell us between sessions so we had to wait. And when we came back we went right into it. The painting that we pushed my friend in now changed. Lets just cut to the chase. My friend came out in manticore form. And... more powerful than the one we were going to fight. And whilst fighting the painter came back. SO we split groups. And one of my friends wanted to blow up the place. We stopped him. I killed the painter whilst nearly getting charmed. And side note we have a wizard that puts cheese sandwitches in his under pants. He has a weird character. He puts almost everything..... down there. And he decided to pee in the manticores mouth. While attempting to do that the manticore who was my friend bit it off. Yes, bit it off. Meanwhile me and another one of my friends were messing with the manticore friend's actual body. The painting spit him out and came the manticore. So my friend had the idea, that if we killed his actual body then maybe the manticore would die. He did 44 damage. The most he had ever done. Luckily we had a paladin or cleric, I forgot. And the final thing was that once we SAVED my friend he had a conversation with me:
Friend: What happened? I can't remember anything.
Me: Oh you tripped and fell into the painting, we tried to save you but you fell in.
I just finished the first campaign that I have DMed , and as I was doing wrap-ups with the characters the paladin said, “Can I go first?” Of course. “I go to (the Druid’s) room.” Okay. “I pull out my luck blade and use it’s last charge to banish him with plane shift.” (Druid), make a wisdom save. “Twelve.” What plane would you like to banish him to? “Hell.” The Druid is successfully banished to the nine hells. “No I go to (the warlock’s) room.” Okaaaay. “I do my full multiattack.”
Continues to wipe out rest of the party including the monk and barbarian and then escape out the window.
Now I’m sad.
(Edit) for those familiar, this is indeed the same campaign as the giraffe.
My party was going through Descent into Avernus. We were fairly high level, and were capable of creating ghouls at will (we went through a lot of stuff just to find usable humanoid corpses in Avernus). We learned (in a weird dream sequence thing where my paladin smote a pit fiend so hard it exploded and got ichor on everyone) that fiend blood mutates things. After leaving the dream sequence, we proceeded to mutate ourselves (I am now wolverine). Eventually, we had the bright idea of using the ichor on our ghouls, due to the dangers of mutating oneself. Now, we're riding around hell with a demon dump truck full of mutant ghouls.
In one game I DMed, our barbarian jumped on the back of a green dragon, which took off, flying higher with each turn. The party cheered him on as he hacked at the beast. Then, in a moment of shock, everyone realized...
Even if he survived the dragon, he wasn't going to survive the 300 foot fall.
My crew was 8 in total. one day i allowed people to do PvP. (Big mistake) They proceeded to fight over a wolf. One of our players, Garim (Using player name) started singing Kumbya. another player, Titan then proceeds to stab him with a pencil. In real life.
I was there. I can confirm that this happened. It all began as an attempt by Titan to kill my tiefling warlock, then escalated. It was a fun session. Another story from this group is when Garim took over for a session because the DM was out. We teleported into modern-day NYC, I got arrested by the FBI by using eldrich blast on a machine of some kind. The druid amassed an army of thousands of rats and promptly stormed the building I was being held in and then Trump Tower. The entire party was dying of laughter, but Garim got banned from the DM chair for all time
One of the PCs in our game has a belt of Masculinity and Femininity (a cursed item that changes your gender).
Now finally free of said belt and curse he's trying to sell the item. What he doesn't know is that the person he's approached to broker such a sale is a Zhentarim spy. A spy who is about 2-3 sessions away from betraying the party.
Oh she'll be "tricked" into buying a cursed belt, but the party will certainly be seeing that belt again.
Upside if DMing over zoom without a camera, I was beaming with joy over the possibilities that PC has granted me.
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New funny moment from my campaign from last week.
Group was told they need to go to a town to the north east of the capital and that it would take a day to get there via the road...... so the group decides to go through the forest (carving out a new road on the way by destroying the trees in their way) and get stuck at a river. So our warforged breaks the carriage they had been using by trying to carry it over the river, then throws the halfling over it in a barrel.... which fails and halfling ends up floating to a town to the west in his barrel, steals a horse and rides to the town himself to meet up with the group who eventually made a bridge.
It's now become a group trope that whenever they need to get over anything, river, wall, door etc. the Warforged throws the halfling over either in his barrel (which he is very attached to, and lost because he had to leave it when he rode off to town) or just throws the halfling and hopes he lands...... He's very good at dex/athletic checks now!
If your players think you're reading from a module while you're making everything up, you're doing better than you think!
During the Descent Into Avernus game I'm running, they were in Elturel resting. The drow monk, during his watch, saw a halfling man run into an alley and went to check it out. He noticed the halfling talking to an imp, who had a contract in hand. The monk shot at the imp, who turned invisible and flew away. The monk told the halfling "Don't sign that! You didn't read it, you could have sold your soul or something!" The halfling just replies with "You didn't read it either."
The monk begrudgingly allows the halfling to get his family to come along with the party, going with him to a crappy bakery. The monk makes a comment about it and the halfling replies with "This was my business" to again, make the monk feel like crap. Then the family came along!
The wife stormed up the stairs after being told a drow helped him, exclaiming "A what?!" She nearly clocked him with a frying pan.
Now the party consists of: 4 PCs, a hollyphant, a veteran, a human woman and her two boys, a lost little girl, and this halfling family of five.
I already made a post about this, but my party started out in a town and they didn't help the townsfolk, or even get to know them, they Immediately weakened the wall, and made a alliance with a bugbear and started destroying the town. Not only that, but I rolled the dice, and according to them, a big, freaking, young white dragon landed in the middle of the town and started to destroy it. so the town went from peaceful to betrayed and iced over by a white dragon.
You overhear a sorcerer human with obvious signs of draconic blood (scaley skin) in the tavern talking to someone...
"So there I was, in a partial state of undress when the husband of the young lady I was with burst into the room. He was obviously in an agitated state. So I explained to the gentleman, whom I should take this moment to point out that he was an infamous cowled mage of Amn, that I had spread all of his valuables out all over the couch, as it was in my nature to nap laying on top of a hoard of treasure, most-likely due to my draconic heritage.
Well, I had to laugh, as it was then that I realized that it wasn't the state of the couch that was causing his hostility, but the fact that I was sleeping with his wife.....Well, long story short, I woke-up 3 days later in a temple of Helm, having been resurrected by the clerics there..<he takes a sip of his drink and continues>...I heard later that the fireball he cast was visible all the way to Daggerford. And THAT is why, to this very day, I have no eyebrows."
You hear another conversation in the tavern...
"Did you hear that the city guard arrested the owner of the smelting shop at the corner of town? It seems that someone was fabricating weapons and armor without Guild approval, and selling them to a band of bugbears outside of the city. Evidently, the guard had acquired one of the 'counterfeit' weapons and with the help a diviner they had traced it back to the outskirts of the city.....Being well acquainted with the area myself, I inquired of the guard - "I happen to know that there is also a bloomery not a stones throw away from the smelter. How in toril did you know for certain that the smelter was the one dealing in arms?
Well the guard looked almost surprised by my question. then he said to me in the incredulous manner...."My good man. Were you born yesterday? For every child of school age can tall you with absolute certainty that the merchant that smelt it was the one that dealt it."
My first campaign I played in as a pc. Be me, Dragonborn Barbarian, afraid of stereotypes. I had in my first characters backstory to be racist towards elves. That freaked out the BBEG so much that he killed me
'Kay so buckle up kids cuz this is going to be a wild ride.
Our first campaign ever as a stable D&D group. Starting from level one, I'm playing a high-elf fighter, we also have half-elf rouge, a tiefling warlock, a dragonborn warlock, a halfling cleric and an aarakocra paladin. Yeah, sounds about crazy enough.
So, I joined the party a teeny bit later so I really didn't know what was going on and nearly died in combat. Thanks to our dear cleric I was stabilized. My character since then longed for a better armor - so the time finally came and we went to see a blacksmith. But would you believe that, we were all poor as heck so no way I could buy any.
At this point we were supposed to go meet this lord that'd give us some ultimate purpose of the whole campaign and he'd explain the main plot. But, thankfully enough, our DM casually mentioned that there were no people in the city because a tournament was taking place that day. Prize? Well, money, of course.
We did not hesitate a moment and headed up that way. This had to throw our DM off a bit but he didn't show it whatsoever. He described it beautifully with all the people and a very wealthy, dwarf count of the land coming to watch.
So, we came there only to discover that to partake in the tournament, we'd need a horse.
At this moment, an idea was sparked that our aarakocra could take someone's horse and fly away with it. To this, the DM replied that they could not lift such weight - they could only lift a smaller being, perhaps a child.
With this reply, I came to the realization...
"Why don't we just abduct the count then?"
Everyone lost it. But it was a good plan, let me tell you. We would kidnap him and blackmail his wife for money. Imagine a giant bird carrying an adult/old teeny tiny dwarf count. It would've been perfect, believe me...Had our chaotic evil dragonborn not ruined it by doing some random shoot we all begged him to not do.
But would you believe that, somehow we managed to keep the situation under control as our tiefling warlock charmed the guards to strip off their armor. We left with four breastplates.
And that is a story of how Kayra Silverblade finally got the armor she deserved.
And, ladies and gentlemen, our DM had survived this very bravely, having absolutely nothing of this prepared beforehand. We all applaud him to this day. If you want to hear any more of these crazy things we do, just let me know. There's many more of those.
So, running the Curse of Strahd One Shot, "The Death House". Players are two wizards, a rogue, and my DMPC, a fighter. At the top of the stairs leading into the basement, one wizard and the rogue decide to stay at the top of the stairs in case they get ambushed and forced into the basement with no way out. Thinking this reasonable, I let them even though this doesn't ever happen. So... The party splits up, with one wizard and the fighter going down the stairs. The wizard going down the stairs puts his three wolves on guard as well. They encounter two passageways forward, and decide to split up AGAIN. The fighter comes across three treasure chests, and opens them up, putting the contents in his bag of holding. After that, a ghost appears, getting mad at the fighter for taking the chests. The fighter tries to attack the ghost, but can't. (Because his sword goes right through it.) He runs screaming into the next area. Meanwhile, the wizard gets into a fight with some pretty strong monsters. He feels prepared, only to get a crit bringing him down to 1 HP. He also runs screaming. The wizard and fighter bump into each other, both running like mad. The other wizard and the rogue hear and do nothing. To save the wizard, the fighter stuffs him into a (cupboard?). The fighter starts to deal some damage, but there is a monster in the (cupboard)? The wizard runs out screaming once more. The fighter defeats the monsters (including the one in the cupboard). The wizard takes care of the ghost and drinks a healing potion. The fighter sneaks forward, and finding a room to be the last room, calls the rogue and the other wizard. The spirits inside wanted a sacrifice. Cue arguement between players trying to sacrifice each other and the wizard's wolves. The fighter steps in and exclaims that there will be no sacrifices. The spirits get mad and awaken a shambling mound. The players run out, when the wizard informs the party that there was a shortcut in the cupboard. The shortcut leads to the first floor, where the players discover the doors have been replaced with spinning razor blades. The party goes into two more rooms, running toward the exit. However, just before the double doors leading to the exit, the fighter and the two wizards fall unconscious. The rogue then proceeds to THROW THEM INTO THE RAZORS. The unconscious characters fall just outside the house. The rogue, near 7 HP, (3rd level characters in the party) stabilizes her companions, and then drags them away from the house.
Pretty cool adventure, will be talked about in party for quite a while. Yet, the module was for 1st level characters. Drove the party crazy though.
I was running LMoP, and my party was exploring Thundertree. The paladin walks into a house he thinks is empty and sees that he just walked in on the Cult of the Dragon. A cultist asks, “what are you doing here?” Paladin thinks for a moment. “Want some weed?” Rolls nat 20. Entire group of cultists gets high. Party proceeds to kill all of them. The paladin is now a drug lord.
I just got done with a campaign where half of the party got nuked. Here's what happened. We were in a battle in a forest where we were fighting a druid werewolf. This werewolf rips our ranger's chest open, which kills him. Our ranger had a necklace that when he dies, he respawns. Here's the catch. There's a thing that happens where when he dies while wearing the necklace, he creates a 60 ft blast radius which causes massive damage in that 60ft radius. My DM was hoping that my character got caught in that radius so I would be caught in the blast. I rolled for suspicion to see if I could figure out what was happening, and rolled high enough to where I figured it out and told our party to run. My DM is looking at me. I tell him I run my 30 ft, then I activate Feline Agility, which he forgot I even had, and I go the extra 30 ft to outside of the blast radius. I could just imagine my DM doing that bird meme with the "listen here you little shit" face.
No one suspects a bush to hide in another bush
‘That time when I got stuck in cobwebs, my DM made us restart the adventure, and then fought Shrek
So I was playing a PC with my party and doing Curse of Strahd and our DM hinted at a secret door. The party spent about 5 minutes making perception checks and we finally found it. There was nothing in the room except for some cobwebs so I went to examine them. I tried to chop them down. Rolled a nat1. DM says that I get stuck in the cobwebs. It takes me 3 minutes to get out, during which the DM has a spark of inspiration. He tells us that he is restarting the adventure. So as we’re walking to Barovia again, Shrek drops down from a tree in front of us and challenges to a dance off. Rest of the session is spent trying to convince everyone to dance. The end.
I'm guessing you were playing a tabaxi? Why did the DM want to kill you?
In our last session, my group of level 2 folks were fighting 3 gas spores. My warlock had attacked one, hit, and done like 6 points of damage. Gas Spores only have 1 HP, and so it exploded. Gave everybody massive disease (because they *all* failed their con saves), and then they still had to fight two more.
They get sensible after a few minutes of realizing they can't hit it, and start disengaging and running away. My wizard is very excited to remember that he can disengage, so everyone starts booking it, except for the warlock, and the cleric.
Me: "Okay, it's drifting after your fleeing party members. You have an attack of opportunity, if you want to take it." *thinking there's no way she's gonna take it it's too obvious there is *no way**.
Warlock: *Who went down last session because she wasn't paying attention and got an attack of opportunity on her* "Ooo, I actually get to do one of these? Cool! I attack it! I roll a 10... and I do 6 points of damage."
Me: "Alright, great. It explodes..."
Warlock: "Oh s!@#$%^t, I forgot! I'm sorry River (the cleric)!"
Me: *laughing hysterically with the rest of the party, including the cleric* "Con save, for you and the cleric, please."
It wasn't even a purposeful trap, because I didn't think anyone would be dumb enough to hit the things a second time. It was beautiful. The players found a healer and got patched up, and we had a good laugh about it for the rest of the session. My players are learning many things in these early levels. :D
Last year I had a campaign with a couple of my friends. We were playing Dragon Heist. We had encountered a painter who could bring her paintings to life. I had already accidentally woken 3 painted hell hounds so it was already bad. After we killed the hell hound we continued on into the painters house. And surprise there was a door we could not open. And a voice spoke.
Voice: To open this door, you can either sacrifice someone to replace me or battle me a manticore.
At that point I was excited about this encounter and me and my friends were conflicted. I wanted to sacrifice one of the members, you heard correctly. I wanted to sacrifice someone. We first decided on someone then decided on someone else. It was 4 against 2. The majority were like me and wanted to sacrifice someone. We had to push one of us into a painting. And we all made strength checks, and surprise, surprise the majority one. We nearly pushed the second guy in before we all caught him. And the thing is that it wasn't like we didn't like the guy we sacrificed. No. We wanted to make a fun joke out of this encounter.
After all my side celebrated and the guy we sacrificed was laughing yet annoyed at the same time the DM called him to whisper something in his ear. And the second he got all the information, a smile wider than a road spread across his face. He wouldn't tell us between sessions so we had to wait. And when we came back we went right into it. The painting that we pushed my friend in now changed. Lets just cut to the chase. My friend came out in manticore form. And... more powerful than the one we were going to fight. And whilst fighting the painter came back. SO we split groups. And one of my friends wanted to blow up the place. We stopped him. I killed the painter whilst nearly getting charmed. And side note we have a wizard that puts cheese sandwitches in his under pants. He has a weird character. He puts almost everything..... down there. And he decided to pee in the manticores mouth. While attempting to do that the manticore who was my friend bit it off. Yes, bit it off. Meanwhile me and another one of my friends were messing with the manticore friend's actual body. The painting spit him out and came the manticore. So my friend had the idea, that if we killed his actual body then maybe the manticore would die. He did 44 damage. The most he had ever done. Luckily we had a paladin or cleric, I forgot. And the final thing was that once we SAVED my friend he had a conversation with me:
Friend: What happened? I can't remember anything.
Me: Oh you tripped and fell into the painting, we tried to save you but you fell in.
Friend: Really?
DM: Role a deception check.
Me: rolls really high
Friend: Oh ok thanks for trying
End of campaign flop
So.
I just finished the first campaign that I have DMed , and as I was doing wrap-ups with the characters the paladin said, “Can I go first?”
Of course.
“I go to (the Druid’s) room.”
Okay.
“I pull out my luck blade and use it’s last charge to banish him with plane shift.”
(Druid), make a wisdom save.
“Twelve.”
What plane would you like to banish him to?
“Hell.”
The Druid is successfully banished to the nine hells.
“No I go to (the warlock’s) room.”
Okaaaay.
“I do my full multiattack.”
Continues to wipe out rest of the party including the monk and barbarian and then escape out the window.
Now I’m sad.
(Edit) for those familiar, this is indeed the same campaign as the giraffe.
My party was going through Descent into Avernus. We were fairly high level, and were capable of creating ghouls at will (we went through a lot of stuff just to find usable humanoid corpses in Avernus). We learned (in a weird dream sequence thing where my paladin smote a pit fiend so hard it exploded and got ichor on everyone) that fiend blood mutates things. After leaving the dream sequence, we proceeded to mutate ourselves (I am now wolverine). Eventually, we had the bright idea of using the ichor on our ghouls, due to the dangers of mutating oneself. Now, we're riding around hell with a demon dump truck full of mutant ghouls.
I did NOT eat those hikers.
In one game I DMed, our barbarian jumped on the back of a green dragon, which took off, flying higher with each turn. The party cheered him on as he hacked at the beast. Then, in a moment of shock, everyone realized...
Even if he survived the dragon, he wasn't going to survive the 300 foot fall.
He did kill that dragon though. RIP.
Wizard (Gandalf) of the Tolkien Club
I rolled a nat 20 on a check to discern a magical wall from a regular wall. With my tongue. Enough said.
May all of your spells roll the best things for the situation on the wild magic table and all your checks to seduce dragons roll nat 20's
My first char (and namesake) Lili Scheppen!
Proud member of the cult of grammar! (grand inquisitor)
I was there. I can confirm that this happened. It all began as an attempt by Titan to kill my tiefling warlock, then escalated. It was a fun session. Another story from this group is when Garim took over for a session because the DM was out. We teleported into modern-day NYC, I got arrested by the FBI by using eldrich blast on a machine of some kind. The druid amassed an army of thousands of rats and promptly stormed the building I was being held in and then Trump Tower. The entire party was dying of laughter, but Garim got banned from the DM chair for all time
I exist, and I guess so does this
Me: The pixies want you to steal the satyr's pipes.
Master 11: We have to get this guy's plumbing?!
Me: ????????
One of the PCs in our game has a belt of Masculinity and Femininity (a cursed item that changes your gender).
Now finally free of said belt and curse he's trying to sell the item. What he doesn't know is that the person he's approached to broker such a sale is a Zhentarim spy. A spy who is about 2-3 sessions away from betraying the party.
Oh she'll be "tricked" into buying a cursed belt, but the party will certainly be seeing that belt again.
Upside if DMing over zoom without a camera, I was beaming with joy over the possibilities that PC has granted me.