So I got more, because my party is stupid as hell, but somehow still living. They were in a keep and went through a secret door that was disguised as a wall. They found a laboratory of a Blood Hunter/Alchemist that worked with the cult that had captured the keep. They wandered into a room and the door behind them locked, and they were stuck in a cage fight. Two of them had split off and hadn't gone in the room. One had left the lab completely and went and did some normal DND things. Sleeping, drinking, and the usual. But the other one that had split off was still in the lab. From a closed balcony, the Blood Hunter/Alchemist, Dr. Valthis, was watching as the other party members fought his creatures. The ranger, Zen, (BTW we have a paladin, a blood Hunter, two rangers, a sorcerer, and a druid) could have easily crept up behind Valthis to kill him. He didn't instead he (they were also being hunted by a guard dragon) went to loot this man's room of potions, fought a few skeletons, solved a puzzle that nearly killed him, and then went to go fight Valthis and almost died to him. The party, who had found their way out, had to save him, taking a good amount of damage too, and defeated Valthis. Our druid literally gutted him like a fish (he had threatened to do so) and tried describing in great detail what happens. I had to stop him so he wouldn't make someone throw up. Then a few sessions later, the druid was looting a few wagons when he found a dead body. And does nothing. Just goes to steal the dead man's stuff and leave. Then he and the paladin (who is neutral, but close to lawful or chaotic) trap a few cultists in a cart and attempt to burn the wagon they were in and either kill them of smoke inhalation or being burned alive. They then got their rear ends handed to them, but won. No deaths, just lots of damage. Then they went to buy gunpowder, bought dynamite, and burned the black market with people and animals inside, killed a baby beholder, and freed a baby Owlbear (which the Blood Hunter then adopted) and a baby Displacer Beast (which has gone MIA). He also tried to attack the castle and got shot from the sky by ballista bolts and almost died. All to get basic information. Zen has almost gotten the party killed on multiple occasions. Funnier during the moment, but still brings a smile to our faces. Except when they're almost dying. Then it's just me
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In the words of the great philosopher, Unicorse, "Aaaannnnd why should I care??"
Best quote from a book ever: "If you love with your eyes, death is forever. If you love with your heart, there is no such thing as parting."- Jonah Cook, Ascendant, Songs of Chaos by Michael R. Miller. Highly recommend
One time my rouge, my brother's paladin, and my friend's barbarian cooked an ate a goblin. One of my players tried to eat a magic missile. Another player used minor illusion to disappear.
In the words of the great philosopher, Unicorse, "Aaaannnnd why should I care??"
Best quote from a book ever: "If you love with your eyes, death is forever. If you love with your heart, there is no such thing as parting."- Jonah Cook, Ascendant, Songs of Chaos by Michael R. Miller. Highly recommend
Mine is this lil baby dragon guy that flips on everyone he meets next thing you know "domain expansion, *flips us off* f**k off." Also sometimes this dragon dude would eat wood randomly mainly endangered tree species so yeahhhhhh
This is probably my 18,541,207th time telling this story. I was running a wizard school campaign, so everyone had to be a wizard. We had a abjurer, an illusioner, and a CHAOTIC EVIL EVOCATIONER!!! There name was "my name is," and dear God, it was chaos.
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I'm just your everyday dungeon master. Ignore that jar full of souls. And those bones in the corner are just props, don't worry. I'm definitely NOT a lich. Definitely.
Yes, I like beholders. Yes, I curated an exquisite personality for commoner #2864. Yes, my catchphrase is "are you sure?"
This is probably my 18,541,207th time telling this story. I was running a wizard school campaign, so everyone had to be a wizard. We had a abjurer, an illusioner, and a CHAOTIC EVIL EVOCATIONER!!! There name was "my name is," and dear God, it was chaos.
Hi My name is. What? My name is. Who?
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derpychienpao
Gulpmissle Day Feb 15th Gone in voice but not in memory
i am an initiate of cynophobia cult :)
i play pokemon. i play brawl stars. i play other games. too many to list. supercell id: ANoobWithASpace
This is probably my 18,541,207th time telling this story. I was running a wizard school campaign, so everyone had to be a wizard. We had a abjurer, an illusioner, and a CHAOTIC EVIL EVOCATIONER!!! There name was "my name is," and dear God, it was chaos.
Hi My name is. What? My name is. Who?
Chka chka slim shady
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I'm just your everyday dungeon master. Ignore that jar full of souls. And those bones in the corner are just props, don't worry. I'm definitely NOT a lich. Definitely.
Yes, I like beholders. Yes, I curated an exquisite personality for commoner #2864. Yes, my catchphrase is "are you sure?"
First off, some backstory. I was running a campaign comprising of a tortle cleric, a dragonborn fighter, a moon elf illusionist, a tiefling warlock, a satyr bard, and a ranger/fighter who was a sentient loaf of bread...
Anyway, they were all trying to help some dwarves fight off this drow invasion. The dwarves, fighter, warlock, and ranger are all in melee combat with the drow while the bard, cleric, and wizard spell snipe. Then, the loaf of bread cast fireball of the nearest drow and it all went downhill from there. Two drow die along with three dwarves, then the bread action surges and casts fireball again. It is worth noting here that the bread would cast fireball just out of range so that they wouldn't get hurt, the rest of their allies, except the spell snipers, ended up gettin hurt though. So fireball is cast a second time and this time four drow and four dwarves die. The fighter is looking badly hurt but the tiefling is immune to fire damage. Then the tiefling has their turn and casts fireball centered on themself. Five dwarves and two drow are hit and all die. The rest of combat that round proceeds as normal.
Then it's the bread's turn. They proceed to cast fireball again, killing seven dwarves and three drow. Tiefling dows the same, except they kill five dwarves and the fighter. NO DROW! All the dwarves are now dead and there is still about a dozen drow left. The tiefling and bread befriend them and then lead then up the passage to the dwarven city. They come across the last line of defense, a passage rigged to collapse as soon as a two second fuse goes off. By this point the have killed more dwarves and now have about fifty drow following them. Then the bread casts fireball on the fuse. Through the means of dimension door, misty step, and teleport the entire party escapes and all the drow are dead.
BUT WAIT! It gets better! The party, fighter has been resurected so that includes them, go to the dwarven king and demand their reward for beating the drow. All the dwarven warriors are dead so there are no ther witnesses to the party's shenanigans. The dwarf king, with a heavy heart, gives them the promised rewards. Gold, gems, weapons, some spell scrolls, and EXPLOSIVES! I tried to skip the explosives but unfortunately the bread and tiefling remembered. Then the party, now with enough explosives to blow up most of the city, takes a rest, and rigs up the explosives. The next day they light the two hour fuse and go to a cave overlooking the city to watch the ensuing chaos. I was crying by the end of all this. WHY ME?
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- Igglywiv the Wizard
I played every class, now playing every sub-class.
You would not believe how much ADHD helps with creating campaigns!
Somehow, through a bunch of bad life decisions on our characters' parts, we ended up surrounded by kobolds in a massive kobold camp. Promising to join their cult of who-knows-what, we proceeded to the tailor, whose job was to attach signs to people's heads so that we knew what they did. Everyone else got a "Warrior" sign...and somehow I picked up the "Idiot" sign.
Obviously, I kept this one hidden (I'm not quite immortal, guys) under my cloak hood for days. But...of course, during breakfast with the entire camp, my hood fell off. For some reason, they wanted to kill us all (what did the rest of the party do??? This still haunts me). We promised to give them entertainment before we died - it was the last thing we wanted to do.
Sooo...we asked for gunpowder. The barbarian dumped a barrel of it on me and lit me on fire. There goes the cleric. Then the DM says that the remaining kobolds are running towards them and that the cave is now unstable - so he rolled a d20. If he rolls a 1-6, the cave collapses. If he rolls anything else, the rest of them have to fight off the hundred or so kobolds.
He rolled a nat 1. There goes the campaign right out the window.
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Religious frisbee player, writer, goofball, and nerd. Some may say professional for the latter two.
Extended sig here. Send me a PM if you want to chat.
Well, me and my players had seen the D&D movie (Honor Among Thieves) and so one of them decided to ask about Intellect Devourers. "How do they devour intellect?" "They eat your brain." "How? They don't have mouths." "Not until they need them..." I refused to elaborate. He is now absolutely terrified whenever Intellect Devourers are mentioned.
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If you're interested in learning about them, here are my Endless Dark characters: Alexius, Suixela, and Tortuga.
That one time I rolled a natural twenty on a Performance check: \o/
So I got more, because my party is stupid as hell, but somehow still living. They were in a keep and went through a secret door that was disguised as a wall. They found a laboratory of a Blood Hunter/Alchemist that worked with the cult that had captured the keep. They wandered into a room and the door behind them locked, and they were stuck in a cage fight. Two of them had split off and hadn't gone in the room. One had left the lab completely and went and did some normal DND things. Sleeping, drinking, and the usual. But the other one that had split off was still in the lab. From a closed balcony, the Blood Hunter/Alchemist, Dr. Valthis, was watching as the other party members fought his creatures. The ranger, Zen, (BTW we have a paladin, a blood Hunter, two rangers, a sorcerer, and a druid) could have easily crept up behind Valthis to kill him. He didn't instead he (they were also being hunted by a guard dragon) went to loot this man's room of potions, fought a few skeletons, solved a puzzle that nearly killed him, and then went to go fight Valthis and almost died to him. The party, who had found their way out, had to save him, taking a good amount of damage too, and defeated Valthis. Our druid literally gutted him like a fish (he had threatened to do so) and tried describing in great detail what happens. I had to stop him so he wouldn't make someone throw up. Then a few sessions later, the druid was looting a few wagons when he found a dead body. And does nothing. Just goes to steal the dead man's stuff and leave. Then he and the paladin (who is neutral, but close to lawful or chaotic) trap a few cultists in a cart and attempt to burn the wagon they were in and either kill them of smoke inhalation or being burned alive. They then got their rear ends handed to them, but won. No deaths, just lots of damage. Then they went to buy gunpowder, bought dynamite, and burned the black market with people and animals inside, killed a baby beholder, and freed a baby Owlbear (which the Blood Hunter then adopted) and a baby Displacer Beast (which has gone MIA). He also tried to attack the castle and got shot from the sky by ballista bolts and almost died. All to get basic information. Zen has almost gotten the party killed on multiple occasions. Funnier during the moment, but still brings a smile to our faces. Except when they're almost dying. Then it's just me
In the words of the great philosopher, Unicorse, "Aaaannnnd why should I care??"
Best quote from a book ever: "If you love with your eyes, death is forever. If you love with your heart, there is no such thing as parting."- Jonah Cook, Ascendant, Songs of Chaos by Michael R. Miller. Highly recommend
One time my rouge, my brother's paladin, and my friend's barbarian cooked an ate a goblin. One of my players tried to eat a magic missile. Another player used minor illusion to disappear.
That’s insane
Check these out: My Imgur Page, My Deviant Art
What happened?
In the words of the great philosopher, Unicorse, "Aaaannnnd why should I care??"
Best quote from a book ever: "If you love with your eyes, death is forever. If you love with your heart, there is no such thing as parting."- Jonah Cook, Ascendant, Songs of Chaos by Michael R. Miller. Highly recommend
He probably exploded, or he gets bad digestion.
Check these out: My Imgur Page, My Deviant Art
One of them was hungry, so they ate the first thing they saw, which was a magic missile
So what happened to him?
like @IMPLAYS asked:
Check these out: My Imgur Page, My Deviant Art
Context: Me and some friends have to buy a potion to heal an injured family at the Apothecary
Clerk: “Hi, how may I help you?”
Player 1 (OOC): “I grab and consume a random bottle off the shelf.”
DM: ”Will you at least pay for it first?”
Player 1 (OOC): “I shove the whole bottle in my mouth, container and all”
Everyone stares at Player 1
Player 2 then begins to stab the apothecary clerk
Me (OOC): Why am I the only sane person here?”
Player 3 (OOC): “Because you have the Chaotic Good alignment.”
(Everyone else has the Chaotic Neutral alignment)
DM: facepalms
I buy the potions needed.
Player 1 then begins to act like a rabid animal for the rest of the game.
Player 1 scampers up a tree like a squirrel
Me: “Yes, I would like to rescue [Player 1] from a tree.”
Player 1: [Howls]
Check these out: My Imgur Page, My Deviant Art
They took the full force of the damage plus damage from interior injuries.
🤣🤣🤣
Check these out: My Imgur Page, My Deviant Art
Mine is this lil baby dragon guy that flips on everyone he meets next thing you know "domain expansion, *flips us off* f**k off." Also sometimes this dragon dude would eat wood randomly mainly endangered tree species so yeahhhhhh
This is probably my 18,541,207th time telling this story. I was running a wizard school campaign, so everyone had to be a wizard. We had a abjurer, an illusioner, and a CHAOTIC EVIL EVOCATIONER!!! There name was "my name is," and dear God, it was chaos.
I'm just your everyday dungeon master. Ignore that jar full of souls. And those bones in the corner are just props, don't worry. I'm definitely NOT a lich. Definitely.
Yes, I like beholders. Yes, I curated an exquisite personality for commoner #2864. Yes, my catchphrase is "are you sure?"
.-. .- -. -.. --- -- / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . .-.-.-
Hi My name is.
What?
My name is.
Who?
derpychienpao
Gulpmissle Day Feb 15th Gone in voice but not in memory
i am an initiate of cynophobia cult :)
i play pokemon. i play brawl stars. i play other games. too many to list.
supercell id: ANoobWithASpace
Chka chka slim shady
I'm just your everyday dungeon master. Ignore that jar full of souls. And those bones in the corner are just props, don't worry. I'm definitely NOT a lich. Definitely.
Yes, I like beholders. Yes, I curated an exquisite personality for commoner #2864. Yes, my catchphrase is "are you sure?"
.-. .- -. -.. --- -- / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . .-.-.-
First off, some backstory. I was running a campaign comprising of a tortle cleric, a dragonborn fighter, a moon elf illusionist, a tiefling warlock, a satyr bard, and a ranger/fighter who was a sentient loaf of bread...
Anyway, they were all trying to help some dwarves fight off this drow invasion. The dwarves, fighter, warlock, and ranger are all in melee combat with the drow while the bard, cleric, and wizard spell snipe. Then, the loaf of bread cast fireball of the nearest drow and it all went downhill from there. Two drow die along with three dwarves, then the bread action surges and casts fireball again. It is worth noting here that the bread would cast fireball just out of range so that they wouldn't get hurt, the rest of their allies, except the spell snipers, ended up gettin hurt though. So fireball is cast a second time and this time four drow and four dwarves die. The fighter is looking badly hurt but the tiefling is immune to fire damage. Then the tiefling has their turn and casts fireball centered on themself. Five dwarves and two drow are hit and all die. The rest of combat that round proceeds as normal.
Then it's the bread's turn. They proceed to cast fireball again, killing seven dwarves and three drow. Tiefling dows the same, except they kill five dwarves and the fighter. NO DROW! All the dwarves are now dead and there is still about a dozen drow left. The tiefling and bread befriend them and then lead then up the passage to the dwarven city. They come across the last line of defense, a passage rigged to collapse as soon as a two second fuse goes off. By this point the have killed more dwarves and now have about fifty drow following them. Then the bread casts fireball on the fuse. Through the means of dimension door, misty step, and teleport the entire party escapes and all the drow are dead.
BUT WAIT! It gets better! The party, fighter has been resurected so that includes them, go to the dwarven king and demand their reward for beating the drow. All the dwarven warriors are dead so there are no ther witnesses to the party's shenanigans. The dwarf king, with a heavy heart, gives them the promised rewards. Gold, gems, weapons, some spell scrolls, and EXPLOSIVES! I tried to skip the explosives but unfortunately the bread and tiefling remembered. Then the party, now with enough explosives to blow up most of the city, takes a rest, and rigs up the explosives. The next day they light the two hour fuse and go to a cave overlooking the city to watch the ensuing chaos. I was crying by the end of all this. WHY ME?
- Igglywiv the Wizard
I played every class, now playing every sub-class.
You would not believe how much ADHD helps with creating campaigns!
Somehow, through a bunch of bad life decisions on our characters' parts, we ended up surrounded by kobolds in a massive kobold camp. Promising to join their cult of who-knows-what, we proceeded to the tailor, whose job was to attach signs to people's heads so that we knew what they did. Everyone else got a "Warrior" sign...and somehow I picked up the "Idiot" sign.
Obviously, I kept this one hidden (I'm not quite immortal, guys) under my cloak hood for days. But...of course, during breakfast with the entire camp, my hood fell off. For some reason, they wanted to kill us all (what did the rest of the party do??? This still haunts me). We promised to give them entertainment before we died - it was the last thing we wanted to do.
Sooo...we asked for gunpowder. The barbarian dumped a barrel of it on me and lit me on fire. There goes the cleric. Then the DM says that the remaining kobolds are running towards them and that the cave is now unstable - so he rolled a d20. If he rolls a 1-6, the cave collapses. If he rolls anything else, the rest of them have to fight off the hundred or so kobolds.
He rolled a nat 1. There goes the campaign right out the window.
Religious frisbee player, writer, goofball, and nerd. Some may say professional for the latter two.
Extended sig here. Send me a PM if you want to chat.
DM: Westeros - A Homebrew D&D Campaign, Liquid Swords - A Historical Wuxia Campaign
Player: Marcus Aquillus Arcade (Quil) - 1st Rogue - Pax Romana
Well, me and my players had seen the D&D movie (Honor Among Thieves) and so one of them decided to ask about Intellect Devourers. "How do they devour intellect?" "They eat your brain." "How? They don't have mouths." "Not until they need them..." I refused to elaborate. He is now absolutely terrified whenever Intellect Devourers are mentioned.
If you're interested in learning about them, here are my Endless Dark characters: Alexius, Suixela, and Tortuga.
That one time I rolled a natural twenty on a Performance check: \o/
And here is the updated version of my quiz: Quiz.
Here is my background music for combat: On Soundcloud.
And here is my extended signature: (^v^)