First off, sorry if this is the wrong subforum. I'll happily move it if so.
I want to try my luck at writing up a world/campaign and have made a rough first draft. I wanted to keep it as open as possible and leave as much room as possible for many different plotlines to take place without blocking different ones.
I would really like some input from other experienced people who can point out issues or niceness things.
Also, this might just be a cheap world description now that I think of it.
'The lands of the world are beset by monsters and men, not always a separate thing. The ruling classes of nobles and rulers, governing bodies and decadent merchants live lives of languish and the rest of the populaces are strung out from the lowest dregs of society, scrounging by and facing the challenge of survival every day to the modest living of commoners who, though not the owners of much luxury or riches, live lives pleasantly and comfortably.
The gods scheme and plan, squabble amongst each other and use the less fortunate as their playthins while granting champions with gifts of blessings as they see fit.
Angels, demons and other celestial and corrupting entities are forbidden to interfere with the workings of the world. Love between mortals and immortals is forbidden and the result of a defiance of this divine law results in the nullification of the mortals ability to feel love as well as the banishment of the immortal to the mortal realms and the removal of all memories of the other from both minds. Neither will ever be able to recognize the other again.
These laws are known by all and none in living memory know of a story where this law was broken.
But the memories of mortals are easily corrupted and grows tired of old legends and divine laws and new cults and covens are starting to sprout in the corners and niches of the world, challenging the rule of old.'
It all sounds pretty basic except for the very specific part about love between mortals and immortals, by which I assume you plan to start with a storyline about a forbidden love. 'Basic' is not a bad thing, it means you have tons of wiggle room to add and change things as the characters explore different lands and realms.
To add a spot of grammar naziism, I would point out that 'languish' is a verb, used incorrectly, and in the words of Inigo Montoya, "I do not think it means what you think it means."
Edeleth Treesong (Aldalire) WoodElf Druid lvl 8 Talaveroth Sub 2 Last Tree StandingTabaxi Ranger, Chef and Hoardsperson lvl 5, Company of the Dragon Team 1 Choir Kenku Cleric, Tempest Domain, lvl 11, Descent Into Avernus Test Drive Poinki Goblin Paladin, Redemption, lvl 5, Tales from Talaveroth Lyrika Nyx Satyr Bard lvl 1, The Six Kingdoms of Talia
I was going for a world as open as possible, but still trying to set some kind of mood for the world.
The part about forbidden love is from a plot idea I read/heard at one point and I wanted to include it to either give the players a, in my mind, cool plot to follow or throw in an NPC at some point. A smudge of God of War might have been included as inspiration.
The grammar nazism is fine, by all means. English is not my native language and I appreciate the correction.
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First off, sorry if this is the wrong subforum. I'll happily move it if so.
I want to try my luck at writing up a world/campaign and have made a rough first draft. I wanted to keep it as open as possible and leave as much room as possible for many different plotlines to take place without blocking different ones.
I would really like some input from other experienced people who can point out issues or niceness things.
Also, this might just be a cheap world description now that I think of it.
'The lands of the world are beset by monsters and men, not always a separate thing. The ruling classes of nobles and rulers, governing bodies and decadent merchants live lives of languish and the rest of the populaces are strung out from the lowest dregs of society, scrounging by and facing the challenge of survival every day to the modest living of commoners who, though not the owners of much luxury or riches, live lives pleasantly and comfortably.
The gods scheme and plan, squabble amongst each other and use the less fortunate as their playthins while granting champions with gifts of blessings as they see fit.
Angels, demons and other celestial and corrupting entities are forbidden to interfere with the workings of the world. Love between mortals and immortals is forbidden and the result of a defiance of this divine law results in the nullification of the mortals ability to feel love as well as the banishment of the immortal to the mortal realms and the removal of all memories of the other from both minds. Neither will ever be able to recognize the other again.
These laws are known by all and none in living memory know of a story where this law was broken.
But the memories of mortals are easily corrupted and grows tired of old legends and divine laws and new cults and covens are starting to sprout in the corners and niches of the world, challenging the rule of old.'
It all sounds pretty basic except for the very specific part about love between mortals and immortals, by which I assume you plan to start with a storyline about a forbidden love. 'Basic' is not a bad thing, it means you have tons of wiggle room to add and change things as the characters explore different lands and realms.
To add a spot of grammar naziism, I would point out that 'languish' is a verb, used incorrectly, and in the words of Inigo Montoya, "I do not think it means what you think it means."
Edeleth Treesong (Aldalire) Wood Elf Druid lvl 8 Talaveroth Sub 2
Last Tree Standing Tabaxi Ranger, Chef and Hoardsperson lvl 5, Company of the Dragon Team 1
Choir Kenku Cleric, Tempest Domain, lvl 11, Descent Into Avernus Test Drive
Poinki Goblin Paladin, Redemption, lvl 5, Tales from Talaveroth
Lyrika Nyx Satyr Bard lvl 1, The Six Kingdoms of Talia
I was going for a world as open as possible, but still trying to set some kind of mood for the world.
The part about forbidden love is from a plot idea I read/heard at one point and I wanted to include it to either give the players a, in my mind, cool plot to follow or throw in an NPC at some point. A smudge of God of War might have been included as inspiration.
The grammar nazism is fine, by all means. English is not my native language and I appreciate the correction.