I love both DMing and playing these days. I've played and DMed for decades but I find that I am more into the role playing these days, more interested in what drives the character, what events formed them, how they will react and what they will do in the game context and less self-conscious about acting it out. Most of the characters I play have a solid idea of where they came from, what made them the "person" they are today and this makes it fun to roleplay them through any sort of adventure.

However, because it is character focused, the game system is less important. D&D, Shadowrun, Traveller, Rolemaster, GURPS all have different ways of expressing what a character can do but these days I find the characterization to be more interesting than the mechanics which I think is a big factor in why I still enjoy playing.

On the other hand, the biggest challenges when playing are not being a back seat DM and not taking a dominant role in the party. I need to be quiet and let all the other players express themselves too which does mean more down time as a player than as a DM.

As a DM, I am always doing things, figuring out how the world responds to character actions, managing a large number of NPCs and plot lines. Keeping the game moving, having the plots hang together logically and making sure that everyone is having a good time are all parts of the reward for a DM. However, these days, real life means much less time for preparation - developing a homebrew campaign and the resources to make it look cool on a virtual table top just takes more time than I would have available so at least for now, I run purchased content which presents a really cool look to the players and keeps prep time manageable for me.

i get it as well when i play as a player as a player its okay, i have dun with some dm's sometimes but its not nearly as fun as a dm like one tenth as much and the story and whats going on is really cool i just get really bored and tired i wanna do more and feel resticted in a way i just cant do what i want i cant devolp myself or my charcter the way i want and i just feel so much better as a gm it feels a lot more freeing. it might be an ego and/or control thing but i still dont know what to do my enthusiam and energy is just getting drained and i dont know what to do i want to seem like i am having fun while playing games my friedns are poring their herarts into but this only happesn ocasionally.

being a player is okay ig, but I like to be the one who runs the world, and making it fun for the players, and winging it is fun too. just sometimes(like rn) I run out of steam and have no inspiration at all. honestly, being a player in my opinion is good, but being dm is like being a player but ten times MORE

Certainly! Being a DM's always been intriguing -- of course, it's not only the job with the most work (and what else could appeal to us nerds?), but it's also the seat of power. If you're the DM, you rule the game -- hands down, full stop. It's your world, your decisions to make. Anything you want can go right in. So, yeah, I understand that playing might not always be fun (and it hasn't lately for me). For example, my school D&D club has me, and then...well, some new DMs. I don't want to brag/shame anyone, but I've definitely had some problems with other DMs that have made my playing experience worse: 

"You walk around the cliff...and you see a kingdom!"

"A kingdom? What do you mean? What sort of kingdom? Is it in a valley?"

"Um...a kingdom!" 

Anyway -- I've always found playing fun, especially because I can try out different things. I've been tired of both before. But yeah, playing is...hard for me right now.

dang that's funny.