General note: They are so secretive that they prefer to spend time with their familiar than even their own kind. In what cases might they go traveling with a group of diverse adventurers? Even just throwing in one example might help, since right now the race seems very locked into 'not part of a team' by flavour.
Friend in the Dark: I'm not sure where the construct note for the Void Eel comes from, since Void Eel itself is listed as an aberration, and Construct is not normally listed in the Find Familiar spell. Maybe a leftover from an earlier draft?
Whispers in the Dark: I might include your intent in the description. "As the Void-Born cherish secrets, they prefer to keep their voice at a whisper to deter notice. You know the message cantrip." Or something like that?
Other than these few notes, I think that your Void-Born seems all-around appropriate. The flavour is interesting enough that I'd be interested in learning more, and the features seem balanced
Friend in the Dark: I caught that and fixed it, there's an update with it gone. (I was originally just using a construct as a familiar but decided to just make the eel it's own thing)
Whispers in the Dark: Will do, I had it initially but removed it for some reason.
Just an update, I've made edits to the Void-Born and added a new race. In the main post i just attached a link to all of my races instead of updating the links with each change.
EDIT: I've changed this thread to just be feedback of all my races. It'll be easier than flooding the forums for each individual race that I make.
They can all be found here. There's just four for now, the Bonestructs, the Firboliaths, the Ogre-Kin, and the Void-Born.
The Bonestructs are friendly automatons made of terrifying blood and bone.
The Firboliaths are the offspring of Firbolgs and Goliaths.
The Ogre-Kin eat stuff, possibly even people.
The Void-Kin love to exchange secrets and information. They have their own familiar.
Thanks for any feedback and let me know if you like them.
General note: They are so secretive that they prefer to spend time with their familiar than even their own kind. In what cases might they go traveling with a group of diverse adventurers? Even just throwing in one example might help, since right now the race seems very locked into 'not part of a team' by flavour.
Friend in the Dark: I'm not sure where the construct note for the Void Eel comes from, since Void Eel itself is listed as an aberration, and Construct is not normally listed in the Find Familiar spell. Maybe a leftover from an earlier draft?
Whispers in the Dark: I might include your intent in the description. "As the Void-Born cherish secrets, they prefer to keep their voice at a whisper to deter notice. You know the message cantrip." Or something like that?
Other than these few notes, I think that your Void-Born seems all-around appropriate. The flavour is interesting enough that I'd be interested in learning more, and the features seem balanced
General Note: Will do!
Friend in the Dark: I caught that and fixed it, there's an update with it gone. (I was originally just using a construct as a familiar but decided to just make the eel it's own thing)
Whispers in the Dark: Will do, I had it initially but removed it for some reason.
Thanks for the feedback!
Just an update, I've made edits to the Void-Born and added a new race. In the main post i just attached a link to all of my races instead of updating the links with each change.
I've added the Bonestructs and the Firboliaths. One is the horrifying creation of a mad inventor, the other is the offspring of two giant-like races.