Help w Drunken-monk idea

Looking for some advice as I make a drunken-monk style character. All of their attacks will look like accidentally bumping into people. 

I'm hoping to homebrew some rules that when I approach an enemy I can use persuade, intimidate, etc. as a bonus action to distract them before I make an attack. (Giving me attack advantage?) 

Think of a spy movie where the hero asks the henchman, “do you have the time?” And as they check their watch, the hero attacks. except more drunk and haphazard. 

how would you approach this idea?

Earlier versions of D&D did have this class, there is probably less you need to homebrew then you think.  I just don't have the skill or access to look up the old drunken master monk class.