"Nine years ago... Nearly ten now. She didn't know... Couldn't have known... Wasn't even her back then..."
"Were you?" Sam asks, his eyes returning to Elthana's as much as she allows. His strong, cold hangs gripping her arms now, perhaps a bit too tightly. "I... I don't always know much but... But you're not who you were nine years ago. Nearly ten. Are you?" Sam's voice is filled with anguish. But also laced with hope. His face is all screwed up and his eyes fierce but broken, anguished but looking for a lifeline. "All this clone business and everything... Tell me your not the same person as you were back then..."
She hears the anguish and it's so much worse than a blow. As his grip tightens she does her best to look up, and wishes she hadn't. The way his face is all screwed up, trying to hold onto hope. But she doesn't let herself hide again, he deserves better.
"I am not that person anymore, no, but it was me. I'm not going to lie to you, ever. Because of you, because of all of you, I am not that person anymore and I never will be. But... Sam, I'm so sorry, I'd do anything to take it back." her voice is so thick, the words struggle to come out.
Sam's cold, undead hands grip tighter into Elthana' arms, too strongly now, but just for a moment. He pulls her into him and embraces her. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to shut out the world and just get lost in the embrace and think of nothing... But of course he cannot do that.
Why?
Sam isn't sure if he actually asks the question or not but he is quickly answered. You know why. And he did. He knew precisely why Molly was killed. Why was never really the question.
"Who?"
Sam does speak this question. Softly he speaks it, basically a whisper into Elthana's ear.
"I know you're not to blame. I know it. I know whose fault it is... Just... Just tell me who sent you to her?"
Completely spent emotionally, Elthana doesn't fight when Sam takes her in his arms. It's an odd sensation that she barely registers, his cold arms around her, she's just so very glad they are.
She hears the question, she had been so preoccupied with the grief of what she did, it surprises her when he asks her. But she realizes she should have expected it. She whispers back, "Sergor." She knows what this is probably going to do, but she told him she wouldn't lie to him and she meant it.
Sergor. Sam doesn't say the name, only mouths it. It tastes cold and bitter and caustic in his mouth. The image of them starts to form in his head but Sam once more squeezes his eyes shut and he is able to force it out. This is not the time...
Sam squeezes Elthana close again. One hand reaches up to stoke her hair a bit and he gently places a kiss upon her forehead. As he does so he is outlined in a soft pink light and an amber glow. As his lips press against Elthana's forehead the soft, gentle light show stretches out and embraces her as well.
"Apples," Sam says. Apples? he thinks to himself, the word spoken unbidden and it taking him a moment to figure out the connection. It's a subtle scent upon the air. He hadn't noticed it in the bar before now. Or maybe it wasn't the bar, maybe it was Elthana? The soft, gentle, unassuming scent of green apples. He remember that smell. It's a Molly smell. Whenever she would return from market that smell would surround her, would sneak into their home upon her. Sam never questioned it, he just grew accustomed of it. Expectant of it. If he gave it a thought he probably assumed that she'd buy an apple while shopping and munch on it as she did went from stall to stall or something. It didn't matter... Except now it was here. Is the scent upon Elthana somehow? Is it some trick of Morris' or the tavern? Or was it... Could it be...
Sam kisses Elthana's forehead a second time and then pulls her close again, an excuse to smell her hair.
Sam clears his throat, suddenly aware and embarrassed that there is an audience here. He finds a way to rub an arm across his eyes in a totally unobvious way as he stands and pulls Elthana gently up to her feet as well. He smiles at her. "It's ok," he says. "Well not ok but ok. Ok?" He smiles again.
"What happened was a chain of events. Dominos. The first one fell... Well shit, I don't even know. There's still some more to fall but you're not one of them. Whatever weight or grief or whatever this all caused you? You can let it go now... We do not blame you. And for what it is worth, we forgive you. Both of us," Sam says, hands once again on either side of Elthana, supporting her. He wants to reach up and brush away the tears but there's just too many faces on them right now and the weight of that gets the better of him.
Elthana let's Sam hold her and she never wants to leave. The light that has recently appeared and surrounds Sam.. she is surprised when it also embraces her and makes her go a bit rigid, not completely understanding what it means. But the kiss relaxes her again, even if it is cold and she remembers Morris's words about it.
"Apples?" After he pulls her close again and kisses her forehead a second time, she slightly pulls away so she can look at him. Tears start again and she haltingly says, "That must have been the last thing she ate before died. Sam, Molly really loved you. I felt it when Morris showed me her memory." She hangs her head again.
As he pulls Elthana to her feet, she lets him, but when he starts talking she lets go of him and wraps her arms around herself. "No. No, please, don't forgive me. I don't deserve your forgiveness. No, please don't."
Sam doesn't know how to even begin to respond to Elthana's comment about Molly loving him. And it doesn't matter, he's too busy fighting to not bawl like a little girl to do anything else at all.
"Life... It doesn't always give us what we deserve," Sam replies to Elthana. "I never deserved Molly... Never deserved..." He chokes up a bit but pushes through it after a moment.
"If life does you ill, it's your job to try to correct it. If it does you better than you deserve, then it's your job to try to live up to that gift," Sam explains. "I probably botched it up but that was one of her sayings... Me, I just say you takes what you get and you deal with it the best you can. In the end I think they maybe mean about the same thing."
Serafina absolutely rapt by this scene absent mindedly slurps down her water and stands, muttering over to Morris, "I uhh, I'd like to pick your brains some time but right now is not it, if you'll excuse me" and she leaves the tavern and this awkward scene.
Griff lets out a whistling snore through his beak from the sofa he is sprawled upon, and Morris also completely caught up in the emotion of it all relaxes slightly as does Ratosk who sees that no fighting is likely to break out, and scalers back up into the rafters.
Vin looks to Gewyn as he speaks to him about Muir, and almost turns his frown upside down, but not quite. He knows Gewyn is right, he has changed. Maybe it was part of growing up, maybe it was part of dying and coming back or maybe he was just more attuned to Neferox now and feeding off her emotions.
"I will Gewyn", he mutters, meaning forgive Muir. Part of why he had acted so strongly was out of fear, he knew that. Fear that if he didn't do anything, Neferox surely would, and he didn't want his two friends to clash.
And then Elthana comes back, visibly upset. He looks across to her, wondering what could possibly have happened. When she starts to explain, he is sure it is something to do with Nivara somehow. When the truth unfolds, he stays where he is, rooted to the spot. Frozen in place not knowing how to react, and terrified that Sam would react.
As Sam and Elthana hug, and tears flow, he tries to look anywhere but at them, a little embarrassed and uncomfortable at the display.
"Sam..." Morris calls out half whispered, trying to focus the half orcs attention.
"Sam I'm glad you see Elthana as a victim here, or at least I think that's what you feel right now. Someone used by others as a tool to attain their greed, because there was another...
Another who worked tirelessly for the rights of others and paid dearly for it, Elthana was... there with Valerie too..."
At this point the door on the other side of the bar opens and Morris escorts Muir through to the tavern, folding in once again until only one Morris remains. "Gewyn would you like to stay here and see how this unfolds or would you like to come with me?" He asks gesturing to the now closed door and unoccupied room of mysteries beyond.
Muir bursts from the door with a pep in his step "Thank you Morris. That was most enlightening. What an experience! Let me tell you folks all about it. You see there we sat at this large table and Morris...Oh may I tell them Morris or is this a secret? I don't want to ruin a good thing and all." Muir pauses and looks around the room. Nothing to see here....Vin still sulking, Sam hugging Elthana again, Gewyn lurking and hanging around, Nef always looking like they want to kill something...all is normal "What a library. Gewyn you should go see. Oh am I saying too much again Morris? Just all those books filled with memories, it is a wonder to think that I could look back upon anyone I knew as a child and see their last days. I could have looked back at Maathai's life, the one who raised me or Lady Bird who took me to the Keepers after Maathai's passing. I never did know her real name though, Lady Bird....Hmmm...but to think all those books filled with memories of the dead, I could have seen old Keepers....Gewyn you should check it out but do be careful......" Muir pauses, takes a breath, and blinks looking around at everyone. "So what did I miss?"
Vin doesn't acknowledge Muir's return, but not because of what happened between them, rather because he and Neferox seem to be communicating silently. Vin's breathing has quickened, and he at times seems like he is almost hyperventilating.
They have both tuned out the rest of the room, so focused are they.
A tear forms and rolls down Vin's cheek, unchecked.
"best to sit down and keep quiet for a moment Muir, a bit tender in here, I'm sure you'll be filled in later" Morris suggests putting a drink on the bar for the loxodon, "also no ruining the surprise for the others."
"Shut it, Morris!" Sam growls out in a flash of anger just before Muir steps into the room.
Sam cocks his head back and forth and regains himself. "You're basically just stating the obvious at this point and there is no point piling on... We got this," Sam says in a controlled voice, eyes attempting to warn Morris to drop it now.
As Muir bursts into the room the pink and amber glow about Sam and Elthana blinks out. "Oh, hey Muir... Maybe ask again some other time, eh? Some other time..."
Elthana looks at Sam, compassion working it's way through the sadness, she doesn't know how to respond and is about to embrace him this time when Morris adds his two cents.
She doesn't even register Muir's entrance, let alone the tear falling down Vin's cheek.
Anger blooms. The elf welcomes it, anger she knows, grief and sorrow.. these were new, uncomfortable feelings so she embraces the anger as it starts flowing through her. She turns her ire to Morris. "How dare you. It was my choice to take on Molly's memory so Sam wouldn't have to, learn about what I did. It was my choice to tell Sam about it. You don't get to make those decisions for me do you? I might have killed Vin's parents, Gewyn's one long lost love, hell I don't know! Are you going to tell them that too?!" She is stalking towards the bar as she says this. Has picked up a mug and looks like she is about to throw it at the old man.
Realizing what she is doing, she sets the mug down and sees that she is shaking. One last look at Sam and she runs out the tavern door.
Muir stops dead in his tracks mouth agape. He looks a little closer at everyone in the room. Notices Gewyn's tense stance, Vin's tear and trance, Sam and Elthana having more than just a moment..He says nothing and sits down not knowing what he just walked into.
Morris remains seated, his shoulders still slumped and let's the anger of Sam and Elthana run off of him, he deserved it even if he feels his own reasoning is right.
Outside the tavern Elthana finds the cavern of Lumithor's still, and much the same as she left it. A soft tink of musical melody seems to be coming from somewhere around lumithor's skull.
Gewyn walks over to Morris, passing Muir, and whispers, "This may be a good time to practice observation rather than inquisition. Some high emotions which you may be lacking context for at the moment. Here, let's make a game out of it. Using nothing but your eyes and ears, see if you can figure out what happened while you were gone, and I'll tell you how close you got."Then he moves past to Morris.
"It kind of seems like the opportunities for me to step out without things getting shaky in my absence may be be few and narrow, so take me now."
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Each short phrase is a like a blow to her and she winces at each. She keeps her head buried, vaguely aware of his hands loosely on her arms.
She waits for a real blow. She welcomes it. She hopes for it.
"She didn't know...."
"She couldn't know..."
"She didn't know Molly... She didn't know me..."
"Nine years ago... Nearly ten now. She didn't know... Couldn't have known... Wasn't even her back then..."
"Were you?" Sam asks, his eyes returning to Elthana's as much as she allows. His strong, cold hangs gripping her arms now, perhaps a bit too tightly. "I... I don't always know much but... But you're not who you were nine years ago. Nearly ten. Are you?" Sam's voice is filled with anguish. But also laced with hope. His face is all screwed up and his eyes fierce but broken, anguished but looking for a lifeline. "All this clone business and everything... Tell me your not the same person as you were back then..."
"...please..."
She hears the anguish and it's so much worse than a blow. As his grip tightens she does her best to look up, and wishes she hadn't. The way his face is all screwed up, trying to hold onto hope. But she doesn't let herself hide again, he deserves better.
"I am not that person anymore, no, but it was me. I'm not going to lie to you, ever. Because of you, because of all of you, I am not that person anymore and I never will be. But... Sam, I'm so sorry, I'd do anything to take it back." her voice is so thick, the words struggle to come out.
Sam's cold, undead hands grip tighter into Elthana' arms, too strongly now, but just for a moment. He pulls her into him and embraces her. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to shut out the world and just get lost in the embrace and think of nothing... But of course he cannot do that.
Why?
Sam isn't sure if he actually asks the question or not but he is quickly answered. You know why. And he did. He knew precisely why Molly was killed. Why was never really the question.
"Who?"
Sam does speak this question. Softly he speaks it, basically a whisper into Elthana's ear.
"I know you're not to blame. I know it. I know whose fault it is... Just... Just tell me who sent you to her?"
Completely spent emotionally, Elthana doesn't fight when Sam takes her in his arms. It's an odd sensation that she barely registers, his cold arms around her, she's just so very glad they are.
She hears the question, she had been so preoccupied with the grief of what she did, it surprises her when he asks her. But she realizes she should have expected it. She whispers back, "Sergor." She knows what this is probably going to do, but she told him she wouldn't lie to him and she meant it.
Gewyn relaxes a bit when Sam embraces Elthana, but then lets the meaning of Elthana's last word wash over him. It disturbs him.
Sergor. Sam doesn't say the name, only mouths it. It tastes cold and bitter and caustic in his mouth. The image of them starts to form in his head but Sam once more squeezes his eyes shut and he is able to force it out. This is not the time...
Sam squeezes Elthana close again. One hand reaches up to stoke her hair a bit and he gently places a kiss upon her forehead. As he does so he is outlined in a soft pink light and an amber glow. As his lips press against Elthana's forehead the soft, gentle light show stretches out and embraces her as well.
"Apples," Sam says. Apples? he thinks to himself, the word spoken unbidden and it taking him a moment to figure out the connection. It's a subtle scent upon the air. He hadn't noticed it in the bar before now. Or maybe it wasn't the bar, maybe it was Elthana? The soft, gentle, unassuming scent of green apples. He remember that smell. It's a Molly smell. Whenever she would return from market that smell would surround her, would sneak into their home upon her. Sam never questioned it, he just grew accustomed of it. Expectant of it. If he gave it a thought he probably assumed that she'd buy an apple while shopping and munch on it as she did went from stall to stall or something. It didn't matter... Except now it was here. Is the scent upon Elthana somehow? Is it some trick of Morris' or the tavern? Or was it... Could it be...
Sam kisses Elthana's forehead a second time and then pulls her close again, an excuse to smell her hair.
Sam clears his throat, suddenly aware and embarrassed that there is an audience here. He finds a way to rub an arm across his eyes in a totally unobvious way as he stands and pulls Elthana gently up to her feet as well. He smiles at her. "It's ok," he says. "Well not ok but ok. Ok?" He smiles again.
"What happened was a chain of events. Dominos. The first one fell... Well shit, I don't even know. There's still some more to fall but you're not one of them. Whatever weight or grief or whatever this all caused you? You can let it go now... We do not blame you. And for what it is worth, we forgive you. Both of us," Sam says, hands once again on either side of Elthana, supporting her. He wants to reach up and brush away the tears but there's just too many faces on them right now and the weight of that gets the better of him.
Elthana let's Sam hold her and she never wants to leave. The light that has recently appeared and surrounds Sam.. she is surprised when it also embraces her and makes her go a bit rigid, not completely understanding what it means. But the kiss relaxes her again, even if it is cold and she remembers Morris's words about it.
"Apples?" After he pulls her close again and kisses her forehead a second time, she slightly pulls away so she can look at him. Tears start again and she haltingly says, "That must have been the last thing she ate before died. Sam, Molly really loved you. I felt it when Morris showed me her memory." She hangs her head again.
As he pulls Elthana to her feet, she lets him, but when he starts talking she lets go of him and wraps her arms around herself. "No. No, please, don't forgive me. I don't deserve your forgiveness. No, please don't."
Sam doesn't know how to even begin to respond to Elthana's comment about Molly loving him. And it doesn't matter, he's too busy fighting to not bawl like a little girl to do anything else at all.
"Life... It doesn't always give us what we deserve," Sam replies to Elthana. "I never deserved Molly... Never deserved..." He chokes up a bit but pushes through it after a moment.
"If life does you ill, it's your job to try to correct it. If it does you better than you deserve, then it's your job to try to live up to that gift," Sam explains. "I probably botched it up but that was one of her sayings... Me, I just say you takes what you get and you deal with it the best you can. In the end I think they maybe mean about the same thing."
Serafina absolutely rapt by this scene absent mindedly slurps down her water and stands, muttering over to Morris, "I uhh, I'd like to pick your brains some time but right now is not it, if you'll excuse me" and she leaves the tavern and this awkward scene.
Griff lets out a whistling snore through his beak from the sofa he is sprawled upon, and Morris also completely caught up in the emotion of it all relaxes slightly as does Ratosk who sees that no fighting is likely to break out, and scalers back up into the rafters.
Vin looks to Gewyn as he speaks to him about Muir, and almost turns his frown upside down, but not quite. He knows Gewyn is right, he has changed. Maybe it was part of growing up, maybe it was part of dying and coming back or maybe he was just more attuned to Neferox now and feeding off her emotions.
"I will Gewyn", he mutters, meaning forgive Muir. Part of why he had acted so strongly was out of fear, he knew that. Fear that if he didn't do anything, Neferox surely would, and he didn't want his two friends to clash.
And then Elthana comes back, visibly upset. He looks across to her, wondering what could possibly have happened. When she starts to explain, he is sure it is something to do with Nivara somehow. When the truth unfolds, he stays where he is, rooted to the spot. Frozen in place not knowing how to react, and terrified that Sam would react.
As Sam and Elthana hug, and tears flow, he tries to look anywhere but at them, a little embarrassed and uncomfortable at the display.
"Sam..." Morris calls out half whispered, trying to focus the half orcs attention.
"Sam I'm glad you see Elthana as a victim here, or at least I think that's what you feel right now. Someone used by others as a tool to attain their greed, because there was another...
Another who worked tirelessly for the rights of others and paid dearly for it, Elthana was... there with Valerie too..."
At this point the door on the other side of the bar opens and Morris escorts Muir through to the tavern, folding in once again until only one Morris remains. "Gewyn would you like to stay here and see how this unfolds or would you like to come with me?" He asks gesturing to the now closed door and unoccupied room of mysteries beyond.
Muir bursts from the door with a pep in his step "Thank you Morris. That was most enlightening. What an experience! Let me tell you folks all about it. You see there we sat at this large table and Morris...Oh may I tell them Morris or is this a secret? I don't want to ruin a good thing and all." Muir pauses and looks around the room. Nothing to see here....Vin still sulking, Sam hugging Elthana again, Gewyn lurking and hanging around, Nef always looking like they want to kill something...all is normal "What a library. Gewyn you should go see. Oh am I saying too much again Morris? Just all those books filled with memories, it is a wonder to think that I could look back upon anyone I knew as a child and see their last days. I could have looked back at Maathai's life, the one who raised me or Lady Bird who took me to the Keepers after Maathai's passing. I never did know her real name though, Lady Bird....Hmmm...but to think all those books filled with memories of the dead, I could have seen old Keepers....Gewyn you should check it out but do be careful......" Muir pauses, takes a breath, and blinks looking around at everyone. "So what did I miss?"
Vin doesn't acknowledge Muir's return, but not because of what happened between them, rather because he and Neferox seem to be communicating silently. Vin's breathing has quickened, and he at times seems like he is almost hyperventilating.
They have both tuned out the rest of the room, so focused are they.
A tear forms and rolls down Vin's cheek, unchecked.
"best to sit down and keep quiet for a moment Muir, a bit tender in here, I'm sure you'll be filled in later" Morris suggests putting a drink on the bar for the loxodon, "also no ruining the surprise for the others."
"Shut it, Morris!" Sam growls out in a flash of anger just before Muir steps into the room.
Sam cocks his head back and forth and regains himself. "You're basically just stating the obvious at this point and there is no point piling on... We got this," Sam says in a controlled voice, eyes attempting to warn Morris to drop it now.
As Muir bursts into the room the pink and amber glow about Sam and Elthana blinks out. "Oh, hey Muir... Maybe ask again some other time, eh? Some other time..."
Elthana looks at Sam, compassion working it's way through the sadness, she doesn't know how to respond and is about to embrace him this time when Morris adds his two cents.
She doesn't even register Muir's entrance, let alone the tear falling down Vin's cheek.
Anger blooms. The elf welcomes it, anger she knows, grief and sorrow.. these were new, uncomfortable feelings so she embraces the anger as it starts flowing through her. She turns her ire to Morris. "How dare you. It was my choice to take on Molly's memory so Sam wouldn't have to, learn about what I did. It was my choice to tell Sam about it. You don't get to make those decisions for me do you? I might have killed Vin's parents, Gewyn's one long lost love, hell I don't know! Are you going to tell them that too?!" She is stalking towards the bar as she says this. Has picked up a mug and looks like she is about to throw it at the old man.
Realizing what she is doing, she sets the mug down and sees that she is shaking. One last look at Sam and she runs out the tavern door.
Muir stops dead in his tracks mouth agape. He looks a little closer at everyone in the room. Notices Gewyn's tense stance, Vin's tear and trance, Sam and Elthana having more than just a moment..He says nothing and sits down not knowing what he just walked into.
Morris remains seated, his shoulders still slumped and let's the anger of Sam and Elthana run off of him, he deserved it even if he feels his own reasoning is right.
Outside the tavern Elthana finds the cavern of Lumithor's still, and much the same as she left it. A soft tink of musical melody seems to be coming from somewhere around lumithor's skull.
Gewyn walks over to Morris, passing Muir, and whispers, "This may be a good time to practice observation rather than inquisition. Some high emotions which you may be lacking context for at the moment. Here, let's make a game out of it. Using nothing but your eyes and ears, see if you can figure out what happened while you were gone, and I'll tell you how close you got." Then he moves past to Morris.
"It kind of seems like the opportunities for me to step out without things getting shaky in my absence may be be few and narrow, so take me now."